


Double Trouble

by voltagelisa



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Biting, Clawing, Double Penetration, Multi, Threesomes, graphic sexual scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:22:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 97,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltagelisa/pseuds/voltagelisa





	1. Chapter 1

_A talon nail runs lightly down my skin from my chest to my stomach; a hard, scale-covered body presses against mine, our legs entangled. His other hand grasps my hair as our tongues meet, tasting. Shivers of delight sweep through me at the odd sensuality of it. We break away and blue piercing eyes gaze down at me lustfully. I swallow thickly in anticipation as he moves so that he was above me, ready…_

I awoke gasping, my body throbbing with unfulfilled desire, my thoughts running wild as I tried to shake those vivid images from my mind, all to no avail. Why him? I had been with Kaidan before, so why was Garrus in my dreams now? Before, I had feelings for him, but knew it would never lead anywhere. We were of two different species. Well, it didn’t matter now. Garrus was gone, God only knows where so he couldn't help me this time; while I'm trying to save the galaxy once again, this time with Cerberus breathing down my neck.

"Commander, ETA to Omega - 5 minutes," Joker's voice stated through the intercom.

"Thanks, Joker," I replied, a small smile playing along my lips. Damn, it had been good seeing that man again. At least I had a small part of my team back. Now I had to go hunt down a scientist and a vigilante, known by the name Archangel. Damn, I wish more of my old team was here; Kaidan, Garrus, Wrex or Tali would have been great. Anyone of those people I would trust at my back. But now I have these two strangers, Miranda and Jacob. Two people that have the same cause as me, but I know nothing about them. I hated it; I hated that I was forced to trust Cerberus operatives with my life.

We entered Omega, thugs wandering the halls, eyeing us up until they saw the guns strapped to our backs. I was wishing they would start something so I could work off some of this stress. We worked our way to an Asari named Aria; she seemed to be the one who ran the show and had intel that I wanted. Without too much hassle, only the expected threats of violence, we got our information. Finally, we were on our way to recruit this mysterious Archangel.

We followed the other mercs, keeping them in our sights until we came to the bridge. That was where I planned on taking them out. I had seen Jacob and Miranda in a fight a few times; they were good shots, but right now I needed the best, someone with a quick trigger finger. Unfortunately, he wasn't here.

I lined up the first merc in my scope, shooting him in the back of the head. I quickly sighted a second one, ready to pull the trigger. I watched as his head exploded in my scope. _Damn that guy can shoot,_ I thought, grinning.

I moved quickly up the bridge, keeping watch at the window just in case the idiot up there decided that we needed a new hole somewhere. "I wonder why he isn't taking the shot?" Jacob murmured as he motioned up toward Archangel, who had his scope lined up on me. _He better not take that fucking shot,_ I thought as I glared at him.

"I don't give a fuck why he isn't; we need to get to him NOW!" I snapped, motioning them ahead with my gun. Jacob rushed ahead of me as Miranda followed closely behind him. I took a quick look through my scope to see what the ass was doing now. He still had his scope trained on me, but something about his posture struck a familiar cord in me. It had to be because he was Turian and reminded me of Garrus.

I ran across the bridge as the Turian took a couple of potshots at me. "Damn that asshole! _"_ I growled.Quickly I raised my scope taking aim and shooting close to where he was standing, spraying a small amount of bricks toward him. _That should teach him!_ I smirked.

We walked up the stairs after taking out everyone on the main floor. "Archangel?" I called out, making sure he wasn't going to try and kill me immediately. My gun was trained on his back as he held up two fingers to me. He didn't seem worried that three strangers were at his back, armed with guns. I found that odd; , he didn’t strike me as one that was careless. He wouldn't have survived this long if he had been. It didn't matter; he could do target practice if it stopped anyone from coming up here.

Two shots later, he moved toward us, ducking his head as he took up a relaxed pose on the couch. Slowly he took off his helmet. My mouth dropped open just before a grin split my face when he raised his head. "Garrus!" I cried and walked over to him, clasping him on the shoulder, though all I wanted to do was hug him. I knew, however, he wouldn't appreciate that.

"Shepard, I thought you were dead," he said and his mandibles twitched, a sure sign he was smiling.

"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot," I answered dryly, shrugging while I grinned. "So, what the hell are you doing here? And what the hell were you doing taking potshots at me?" I demanded, my arms folded across my chest as I glared at him.

"Cleaning up the place, taking out some of the garbage; you know, the usual," he replied, his mandibles twitching again. "As for taking shots at you, what was with hitting the sill?" he smirked, folding his arms as he leaned back against the wall.

"Well, had to make sure you didn't try and kill me," I answered, grinning at him.

"You haven't changed one bit," he said and shook his head.

I moved over closer to him, shaking my head. "So, Archangel, is it?" I smirked, trying to hold back a laugh that I knew he wouldn't appreciate. He glanced down at the ground, looking bashful, but that couldn't be; this was Garrus. If he would have been human, from the way he was acting I would have said he was blushing.

"Um…Garrus to you, just Garrus," he muttered, rising from the couch. "Let's go check to see what our friends are doing." He used his scope, searching around. "It seems they are amassing again," he muttered, passing me the rifle. The familiar weight rested in my hand and I glanced down. It was the same one I had given him right after we defeated Saren. I glanced over at him quickly and he was staring at me with an intensity that had me shifting in place. Hastily I glanced through the scope. Three gang members jumped the wall; softly I squeezed the trigger, taking out one of the gang members with a clean shot, dead center in his forehead.

"Nice shot," Garrus murmured and took the gun from me, running a clawed hand along the barrel. "We should get ready. We can help hold this position, while you do what you are good at," he said, nodding towards a window that I could use.

I took out my hand gun, its comfortable weight resting in my palm. Thought it sucked for aiming; , damn I wish I had my old weapons, this would be so much easier. _Oh well, can’t bitch about it now,_ I thought, glowering down at the pistol in my hand.

Swiftly we took out the rest of the gang, and a relieved sigh sounded beside me. I glanced over to Jacob; he was crouched by the wall watching over the edge, his eyes flicking around as he searched for more enemies.

I rose to my feet slowly and walked over to Garrus, "Think it's safe to leave yet?" I asked him.

"There are still two more gangs to go," he said, looking at me pointedly as his eyes flicked to Jacob and Miranda. "So no I don't think that would be a good idea. Still too many of them." Huh, he had a point, these weren't people who had the experience we had.

He was about to say more, but a rocking explosion shook the building. "What in the fucking hell was that?" I snarled, my gun already aimed for the hallway leading up to this room.

"I think someone finally grew a brain down there and blasted their way through one of the walls," he muttered, looking at me worriedly. "Shep, I need you to go down there and close the doors so we don't get flanked."

"Fine, Jacob you are with me, Miranda, stay with Garrus," I ordered. I walked over to her, leading her out of earshot. "For ever scratch he gets, I'm taking it out of your hide. Do we understand each other?" I growled low and menacingly, only inches from her face.

"Yeah, I hear you, Commander," she bit out, watching me with a confidence that I had to admire, but what I said was true. I would kill them if he was harmed.

"Let's go!" I ordered, leading the way down to the basement.

We cleared the first room easily enough and I was able to close the door quickly. The second room took a little longer, as there were more enemies to deal with. "Shepard, things are starting to get intense up here," Garrus called, his voice sounding strained.

"Just one more door to go, hold on," I ordered, though I knew that would be futile; he could only do so much.

We rushed to the final door; at the moment we were racing the clock. If Garrus said things were becoming intense, then it would be something he couldn't handle, even with the backup I gave him. Damn!!

This door was easier than the others, and we raced upstairs to find two Krogans heading towards Garrus. _Oh man this isn't good,_ I thought desperately.I looked over to Jacob. "Cover me, I'm heading upstairs to help them out," I told him.

He nodded, stood up and fired a few rounds. "Go!" he yelled, distracting the intruders from me.

I raced upstairs and stopped cold. Garrus was pinned down behind a couch; the two Krogans weren't giving him a chance. I unloaded a clip into the closest Krogan, finally dropping him. His partner charged me, knocking me back against the wall. My breath left me with a whoosh, and my head knocked hard enough against the wall that I saw stars for a moment. _Fuck I hate it when they do that!_

"Stupid move, buddy!" I growled, tapping the barrel of my gun against his jewels; something I learned from Wrex. I grinned up at him and pulled the trigger until the clip was empty. He collapsed to the ground silently, not even a twitch. Garrus came over, his eyes alight with laughter as he looked down at the Krogan.

"Still remember Wrex's teachings, huh?," he chuckled, nudging the body with his toe.

A loud noise interrupted us. I glanced around, not sure what the hell it was. The noise got louder the closer it came. _Holy Shit!_ I thought irritably. _It can't be that gunship the now-deceased Sergeant Cathka was working on!_ I received my answer when I saw the ship hovering in front of one of the windows. Garrus shoved me out of the way so harshly that I fell to the ground. I watched in horror as his body jerked, bullets tearing through him.

I rushed over to him as he fell, blood pouring from his wounds. "NO!" I screamed, grabbing my missile launcher. I pressed my finger on the trigger, not letting off as I watched the ship begin to waver and smoke. I stared with satisfaction as it dropped to the ground, exploding on impact. Without thought I rushed to the Turian's side, taking his hand in mine. He spasmed and coughed up blood; , his eyes fluttered open for a moment, before closing once again. My knees were soaked with the blood pooling around him, and a part of me worried that he wouldn't make it to the ship.

"Joker, we need the doc here. Garrus is down!" I shouted through my earpiece.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Garrus' Point of View**

I crawled off the gurney, still in pain. The side of my face burned, as if someone had torn it in half. In reality, that was close to the truth. I glanced around, noticing that I was alone for the moment. I had been trapped in this room for three days, that I knew of, and I wanted out.

With a couple of stumbling steps that I was glad that no one could see, I made it to the door. I needed out of this room; screw the doc and her advice. Now the only worry was Shepard; she would kick my ass if she knew I was supposed to still be in the med bay.

I had been in a stunned shock when I saw her through my scope. Shepard, alive; two years presumed dead and she showed up on Omega of all places. Relief and other emotions that I couldn't yet face came rushing back as soon as I saw her. She hadn't changed one bit; she still moved with the lithe grace of a cat. Her marksmanship was still superb, as was her sense of humor, still wicked as ever. The crew of the old Normandy had called her a wildcard, never knowing what she would do next.

She never put us in danger, but it was her temper that gave her that name6. Sometimes she would talk it out with the person, persuading them to see things her way; while other times she would just shoot you and forget about the talking. Though that never happened with the crew; mostly it came down to individual hand to hand combat. That was fun; at times I would just irk her just so we would end up fighting, at least in beginning. Later, after we knew each other better, we would practice every chance we got. Sometimes the crew would bet to see who won, or they would just watch. Other times it would just be the two of us.

Now after two years, she was back. Where was she for those two years when my life turned upside down? I flashed back to that day when Kaidan brought me the news. I had just received news that the Normandy crew was on the Citadel, when Kaidan had found me at my desk. His eyes were haunted, and he was pale as he walked towards me on shaky legs. I knew, without him saying a word I knew – she was dead. I felt sorry for the human; he had loved her, as she had him. And we both had lost her.

I paced just outside of the conference room where she was. The human male who had accompanied her to Omega was with her, going over the report from Omega.

The door opened before me, showing a very agitated Shepard and Jacob didn't seem to notice the danger he was in at the moment. He was hounding her with questions, when his best option was silence.

She stopped pacing when she saw me. She was about to move but stopped herself for some odd reason. Her smile grew as I entered the room. _Damn, I had missed that smile,_ I reminisced.

"The doctors won't give me a mirror so I can see how bad the scars are," I said jokingly. "The only women I know that like scars on their man are the Krogan, so…" I trailed off, knowing she would have something to say and it would keep that smile in place.

"Hell Garrus, you were always ugly," she sassed, smirking. I laughed, the muscles in my face hurting, but it felt good to hear her banter.

I walked over to her, leaning against the table next to her. "So, what are we up against this time?" I asked, looking down at her.

"Oh, nothing to dramatic; just the Collectors, and some geth," she smirked.

"You always do seem to get the interesting missions," I told her, shaking my head in amusement. Only Shepard would make light of this. She was the only one I knew that had the slightest possibility of seeing us through this alive.

"Yeah, I know. It seems the Collectors are targeting human worlds. They have cleaned out a few worlds already, and I'm going to stop them," she stated fiercely.

With a nod, she walked towards the door. "Hey, Shepard, if you ever need to talk I'll be in the main battery." I told her just before the doors closed.

I sighed in relief, something inside of me feeling lighter now. I didn't want to think too much about it. It meant nothing; I was happy to see an old friend, that was all.

  

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

I lay in my bed, long before my alarm is supposed to go off, as the dreams were keeping me up again. Every fucking night I was dreaming about that goddamn Turian! Why, I didn't know and I couldn't figure it out; it's not like I had a thing for aliens. They were good to fight alongside, to be friends with, but to fuck? I don't think so. It just isn't done!

Regardless of my dreams, I am not about to sleep with another team member. Kaidan was different, he was… someone I cared about. I hated admitting it but it was true, even after two years I still cared; even though I knew he believed me dead, like everyone else.

The frightening part was that the Illusive Man had informed me that Kaidan would be on Horizon, the world to which we were currently headed. Not only that, but the Collectors were rumored to be headed there to take more colonists, and we were going to try and stop them.

I left my quarters just to get away from all those thoughts. I didn't have time to dwell on the past or my mental state at the moment. We had to stop the Collectors, and that meant I had to stop letting my very erotic dreams get the best of me. With a surety I didn't feel at the moment, I marched on to the CIC floor. Kelly was there waiting for me with a big smile, as usual. That girl was always chipper. I don't know how she does it.

I could hear Mordin in his lab concocting something. Our brain of the team, he was supposed to be one of the best scientists in the galaxy and from talking to him I had to agree. I had to give Cerberus credit, so far we had one hell of a team; our most recent addition being a Krogan sitting in stasis down in the cargo bay. I wasn't sure what the hell to do with him. He was genetically engineered by Warlord Okeer, the Krogan we were originally supposed to pick up on Korlus; but Okeer ultimately gave his life for his creation. That was the only thing that prompted me to bring him aboard the ship; otherwise I would have left him on the planet.

"What can I do for you, Commander?" Joker asked as I entered the cockpit.

"What is our ETA for Horizon?" I asked him as I looked at the panel in front of him. It all looked like gibberish to me.

"We will be there within the hour," he stated. "Commander, are you taking Jack with you?" he asked nervously.

I understood she made quite a few people on the ship nervous. Especially those that were loyal to Cerberus, as she hated them. I wasn't sure what to make of her; she was powerful and blunt, but I wasn't confident with having her at my back.

"I don't know yet," I responded.

"If you have to play nice, do you think it’s a good idea that she goes?" he asked pointedly.

"Actually I think I might take the Krogan," I smirked.

"What? Are you insane? Shepard, you don't know what he's going to be like," Joker stated incredulously.

"We'll find out shortly. Have Garrus meet down at the cargo bay," I ordered, hearing his complaints behind my back.

Garrus was waiting for me in front of the cargo bay with a scowl on his face. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, as he glared. "Are you ready?" I said, grinning wickedly.

"You like living dangerously," he grumbled. "The first wrong move, I'm shooting him," he stated harshly.

"No, you are not shooting him until I say," I growled.

"So if he has you by the throat, I'm supposed to wait until you can talk?" he snapped. "I think this is a mistake."

"You didn't seem to have a problem with Wrex. This one won't be that much different," I tried to reassure him, though his glare told me it didn't work.

The Krogan was at the far end of the room, still in his stasis pod. "EDI, are there any known defects with the subject?" I asked the computer.

"Scans show nothing, Commander," she stated.

"You ready, Garrus?" I smirked at him over my shoulder. His answer was a low growl that sent a shiver down my spine that I tried valiantly to hide. I hoped I succeeded.

"EDI, open the container," I ordered.

"That is inadvisable," she warned, stated the reasons.

"Open it!" I snapped. I took a few steps back so I was standing next to Garrus. He had his gun trained on the containment tank, his finger ready to pull the trigger.

"Garrus, put the gun up until it is needed," I told him softly. He glanced down at me, shocked and gave a brief nod, holstering his gun. I moved toward the Krogan, standing in front of him, waiting for him to rise to his feet. His moved quickly, faster than I thought he could, but it didn't matter. I knew what was coming and was prepared. Wrex had told me enough about their culture to expect the worst and warned me that I would usually have to prove myself.

He pinned me up against the wall, one arm across my throat. My hand already had a gun pressed to his stomach; a killing shot if I had to take it. Garrus stood near the door, with his gun hanging by his side, chuckling. "Do you have a death wish?" he asked, shaking his head.

"Garrus, shut up," I smirked. I didn’t want the Krogan knowing he was only moments from death.

He grinned, moving over to one of the walls and leaned on it nonchalantly. "You aren't going to protect the female?" the Krogan asked, staring at Garrus.

"No, she wanted you out, she can deal with you," Garrus shrugged.

The Krogan turned back to me; I could see my death in his eyes. "Before you die, I need a name," he stated.

"Stupid, stupid…" Garrus muttered, chuckling to himself.

"Is that a threat?" I growled.

"Humans are weak, I will not follow someone unworthy," the Krogan spat. I shoved the gun hard in his stomach, my finger itching to pull the trigger. He glanced between me and the gun, a grin splitting his face.

"I'm Commander Shepard," I stated coldly, "and you will back off before I put a hole in you."

He took a step back, giving me an approving look. "It wasn't your name I was looking for; it was mine," he said calmly. I didn't holster my gun, as I didn't know this Krogan; he wasn't like Wrex. "Okeer couldn't implant a connection, his words are hollow. Warlord, legacy, Grunt was one of the last. It has no meaning, it will do," he decided.

"So Grunt it is, but be warned - pull a stunt like that again and I'll kill you without warning," I told him coldly.  

I turned to leave and rolled my eyes at the still-chuckling Turian. "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" I scolded lightly.

"Do you blame me? I know what you are like when threatened. You've killed your fair share of people who threatened or annoyed you," he smirked as we walked to the Main Battery.

"True, but it was all for good reasons," I defended myself unconvincingly.

"Commander, ETA for Horizon 5 minutes." Joker's voice interrupted anything Garrus was about to say.

"Thanks, Joker," I muttered. This was one mission I wasn't looking forward to. Kaidan was down there. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him yet, though I would never admit that to anyone. A part of me wanted to see him and drag him off somewhere quiet and away from prying eyes; but I knew that would never happen.

"Garrus, go tell Grunt to suit up; he's coming with us," I told him before walking away.

                                                                                ~ooo~

Well I found out the Collectors were a group of amazingly annoying insects. The ones that became possessed were damned hard to kill. The worst part was that they just loved me; I wasn't safe anywhere. They didn't bother my companions, except to shoot at them, but _me_ they wanted to converse with! Calling me by name!

"So Shepard, is there something you haven't told us?" Garrus winked.

"Keep it up, Turian and I'll move right beside you and let him pick on you for a change," I grumbled, smirking at him.

"There, it's dead, and I think that was the last of them. Hopefully EDI will be done soon," Garrus muttered, keeping watch while I maintained cover.

"What is that?" Grunt asked, his voice holding a note I didn't like. If I wasn't mistaken, it held a hit of worry. I glanced around the console to see a huge flying monstrosity coming straight for me.

"Shepard, RUN!" Garrus ordered. _Run? Run where? These things followed me everywhere and this one didn't have to worry about obstacles, since it flies._

"Shepard, GO! We have its attention," Garrus's voice shouted over the headset.

I ran to a set of crates nearby, ducking low so it wouldn't see me. I brought out the Collector weapon that I had picked up. _Glad I saved this!_ I silently cheered.

I moved to aim, but found Grunt and Garrus both in the way. "Move it, both of you. I'm giving this thing a new asshole!" I ordered. They both glanced my way for a brief second, their eyes widening. Quickly they moved, keeping the heavy fire on the huge fly; drawing its attention away from me as I prepared. I pulled the trigger, not letting off until it dissolved into ash.

Shaking and rumbling alerted us that something big was happening. We all turned and watched as the massive Collector ship launched into the air, the cannons firing at it as it ascended, sending debris toward us. We ran as far as we could, trying to avoid the wreckage. Garrus grabbed my arm, tugging me so I would run faster, but he forgot that Turians are faster than humans.

He half dragged me, half carried me behind a large crate, erecting a shield around me. He tucked my face down so that I was covered by him. I heard a few smaller pieces hit him before he let me up. "Why the hell did you do that?" I snarled, angry at him for protecting me and putting himself in danger.

"You've died once, I will not have you dying again!" he growled low and menacingly before letting me go.

I sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder, about to apologize, but the look on his face told me that right now would be a good time to learn to keep my mouth shut. At the moment I heeded the look, but he'd better be ready for questions when we returned to the Normandy.

I was about to place the cannon on my back once again but he stopped me. "Damn, where did you get that?" Garrus asked, taking the spent weapon.

"Found it on one of the Collectors," I smirked.

"We should be able to replicate this. This will come in handy," he grinned, passing the cannon back to me.    

"What? You let them take everyone away?!" one of the survivors screeched. I turned to him, remembering him from the garage, although I didn't know his name.

"Do you really think we had a choice? If you didn't notice, we were fighting for our lives just a moment ago so that this planet would be safe!" I growled as I stalked toward him.

Garrus grasped my shoulder, stopping me in mid motion. He gave me a warning look not to do something stupid. I sighed in defeat and glared at him. "Shepard, remember he just lost half of his colony."

"Shepard… wait I know that name," he stated coldly. "I remember you; you are some type of big Alliance hero." He glared at me hatefully.

"Commander Shepard, Captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, Savior of the Citadel. You are in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost." Kaidan spoke softly as he walked up to us.

"Figures! All the good people we lost, because the Savoir couldn't save them and you get left behind!" he spat, glaring at us all before storming off.

Kaidan walked towards me with a stunned look, "I thought you were dead, we all did." He glanced over at Garrus before looking back at me. He walked up to me, pulling me into a crushing hug; behind me I thought I heard someone growl, but I couldn't be sure.

"I was, it took them two years to put me back together, Kaidan," I told him softly, happy to see him.

"And you didn't think to tell me?" he asked and looked at me, wounded.

"I thought you had moved on; two years is a long time," I answered his softly.

"So my intel was right, you are working for Cerberus," he looked at me confused, not believing what he was seeing.

"Well they are the only ones willing to help humanity at the moment. The Council won't help us or even see me, for that matter," I growled, moving away from him.

"So you turn to Cerberus; you know they are evil! How could you!" he sneered.

"Kaidan, you know me better than that!" I snapped, pissed at his attitude.

"I thought I did. I loved you! Now you are working for the enemy!" he replied angrily and started pacing in front of me.

"What am I supposed to do? Cerberus is willing to stop these attacks. The Council isn't, so where do I go for help?" I asked heatedly.

"Can you blame the Council for not seeing you? The previous Council members you sentenced to death. But Cerberus! I never thought you would turn to the enemy," he said and gave me a disgusted look.

"They aren't the enemy this time. They want to stop the collectors," I stated harshly.

"How do you know they aren't behind this? How do you know they aren't using you?" he shouted.

"Dammit, Kaidan, you are so focused on Cerberus that you are missing the real threat!" Garrus cut in harshly, his mandibles twitching, showing his anger.

"You are letting how you feel about Cerberus get in the way of the real facts," I told him softly, hoping to get through to him.

"Maybe, or maybe you are just blind," he glared at me scathingly. "You've changed, you aren't the person I loved. I don't know what happened to that woman, but it sure isn’t you." I was shaken by the hatred I saw in his once beloved eyes.

"If that is the way you feel then so be it!" I growled, biting back the tears that were threatening to come forth. His words hurt me deeply, even more because they came from his lips.

I watched as he turned his back on us and walked away. I kept my shoulders straight, when all I wanted to do was hunch them in defeat. I kept tears that I hadn't shed since I was a child at bay. Forcefully I told myself - tried to make myself believe that he wasn't worth it, but there was a small part of my brain that told me I was lying. My deepest fear was that he was right; that I had changed as much as he said I had.

I turned back to the others when I had myself under control. "Let's get the fuck out of here!" I ordered harshly.

Garrus called for the shuttle as he moved closer to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You alright?" he asked, concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I attempted a smile, but failed miserably.

                                                                                                ~ooo~

Garrus point of view

I paced the small confines of the Main Battery, still berating myself for the slip I had back on Horizon when they had embraced. I saw her stiffen for a moment and thought she had heard the growl that had escaped of its own accord. Thankfully, she hadn't, or at least she hadn't mentioned it.

Grunt and I stood there, quietly listening to Shepard as she became more annoyed with Kaidan; her eyes lit with fire, her stance belligerent as she faced off with him. I could see she was holding back a lot of her anger because she still had feelings for him. He didn't hold back, however; some of his words were hurtful, especially his parting remarks. I had wanted him dead for those words, but knew she wouldn't appreciated it.

It took a while for her to turn back to us. When she did, she appeared to be under control, but I knew she wasn't. I could see the sheen in her eyes. Tears that she would never let fall, not for anyone.

Right then I wanted to hunt Kaidan down and hurt him until he begged for death. Hurt him for what he had done to her, for taking the fire out of her eyes, for making her hurt. She didn't need that, not from him. She deserved a lot better. I knew she believed what he said, about her not being the same.

He was blind; only after the hero. He didn't care about the woman. I wasn't sure if he knew the woman or only knew what he wanted to see. She hadn’t changed; she was still as pragmatic as ever. She had proved that when she released Grunt from stasis. Her light hearted bantering whenever we fought; she never did that with Kaidan that I could remember. No, she hadn't changed, but at the moment she was hurting whether she liked me knowing or not.

I thought about going to her quarters and forcing her to tell me her problem, but knew that would be a disaster. She would either throw me out, kill me, or find the nearest air lock for me. Worst case scenario, she would tell me and then we would be awkward with each other. So that plan was out, but going up to her room with a bottle of alcohol would work. It had worked before when she had problems with the Council. I had gotten her drunk when she locked herself in her cabin and used it as a sparring room.

With a fortifying breath, I went searching for a bottle of liquor, anything would do. anything. Gardner had to have one hidden in the kitchens. I grabbed a bottle for each of us and headed up to the Commander's Quarters. I used to spend all of my sleepless nights there when we were about to go into battle on the old Normandy. That was before Kaidan was allowed access. We would spend the night planning, strategizing, talking. Always we would be energized for the next battle, ready to fight, praying that our plans would work and we didn't die. Many times we celebrated a victory with a bottle in her quarters or at the Citadel at Chora's.

But this wasn't the same as those times; this wasn’t about planning a battle, this was something more. This was getting personal. Her door opened on the first knock and she looked like hell. Her cheeks were red and blotchy, her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Behind her, chairs were toppled, tables were laying on their side. Just like the old Normandy.

"What do you want, Garrus?" she asked. There was a bite to the words and she tried to soften them.

I held up the bottle, waving it in the air. "Like old times?" I grinned as she moved aside, motioning me in. A small smile made it on her face, and I was happy.

"You better have a second one hiding behind you," she grumbled with a smirk. "Wouldn't want you dying on me."

"Certainly, Commander," I told her, passing her two glasses.

We were half way through the bottle, feeling the effects. Damned strong stuff, I grinned to myself. "So, you wanna talk?" I asked, my nervousness gone.

"Have I changed that much?" she asked bluntly, her eyes glassy; not from tears, but from intoxication.

"Nope, I don't think Kaidan ever saw you for who you were," I told her honestly. She moved over to sit beside me, leaning her head against my shoulder.

"Thanks, I needed to hear that," she mumbled, her speech slurred.

"Anytime," I told her softly, enjoying the feel of her on my shoulder. I looked down at her thick black hair, hanging loosely instead of in her usually ponytail, as she calls it. We sat in comfortable silence for a while, her breathing deep and even. I glanced down to see she had fallen asleep with one hand resting close to my own. I watched her sleep for a few moments, debating whether I should move her. I knew if she woke up now, she would stay awake. But what would she do if I left her? That worried me; would she get the wrong idea? She looked so peaceful right now I couldn't move her. Not after what she been through earlier, she needed sleep.

I stayed on the couch with her curled up beside me; thoughts flew across my mind that I should never have of my friend. I had been thinking about it more and more often now, since she recruited me. With a groan, I stretched out my legs, deciding not to move her and preparing myself for a night of torture.


	3. Chapter 3

My eyes snapped open as I felt movement on my lap. Shepard's head rested on my leg, one hand curled under her head, resting lightly on my thigh. Her face was relaxed; the stress from past weeks gone, making her look softer.

I ran a hand along her hair, brushing it out of her face. She didn't stir as I ran the silky texture through my talons. A sigh escaped her and I jerked my hand back; she nuzzled her face on my thigh, then slowly relaxed again. I swallowed thickly as my shaft strained against my plating. Damn, it was time to get out of here. Shepard wouldn't appreciate knowing that I had feelings for her and she would find out all too soon if I stayed.

I shifted my position, ready to move her and escape, but her hand tightened on my thigh as she whimpered softly. I glanced down; her eyes were squeezed shut, her other hand clenched in a fist. I bit back a groan as her nails dug into my thigh. The plating covering my member was starting to shift, so I stayed very still, not wanting to wake her.

I glanced down at her, not sure if this was a normal occurrence when a human sleeps. She made another mewling sound as a tear escaped through her closed eyes and a shiver ran through her body. That simple action made my decision for me; I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. I brushed the tear away gently, softly rubbing her cheek, trying to sooth her. It killed something inside of me to see her this upset, even in her dreams.

My desire ebbed away when I saw seen she was upset; the uncomfortable pressure gone and my plating no long threatening to open. I closed my eyes in relief. She moaned again, her head tossing to the side, her cheeks flushed, and her lips parted slightly as a gasp escaped her.

Her back arched slightly as she moaned louder. I ran my hand along her arm, trying to soothe out some of the tension in her body. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open and she stared up at me through sleep clouded eyes. Within moments her eyes cleared and her cheeks turned bright red.

Hastily, she rose off of the couch and darted for the washroom. I followed her, shocked at her swift departure. _What the hell?_ I wondered as I heard her cursing and swearing before the shower turned on.

 _Why had she run? It made no sense; it had only been a nightmare, right?_ I replayed the scene over and over again; the moans, gasps, clenched fists, and then her body slightly arching…. _No!_ I thought desperately. _This was Shepard! She_ _wouldn't be having one of those dreams!_ _It was only a nightmare. I didn't just see Shepard in the throes of passion._

My plating shifted involuntarily at the picture of Shepard finding her pleasure as she arched beneath me. _Oh shit! I have to get out of here. She'll kill me if she knew._ I looked down and groaned; there was no way I could walk around the ship in this state. I heard the shower turn off and glanced around wildly, wondering what to do. Suddenly the thought of water, of her wet, entered my mind… _No! damn it, I can't think like that! She's just a friend; she would never see me like that!_ I scolded myself

I glanced at the door and down at myself, trying to figure which was the worse evil. Who would I rather face humiliation with, the crew or Shepard? Shepard, by far. I groaned in defeat as I took an uncomfortable seat on the couch. My uncooperative member throbbed as the bathroom door opened, and the scent of vanilla drifted through the cabin. My plates were now fully shifted. If she had been Turian, I would have taken advantage and relieved myself, but this was Shepard. I couldn't do that to her; I didn't think it was possible to be with a human.

She walked out in her uniform, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. She stopped, startled at seeing me still here. "Garrus, why are you still here?" she asked, the pink tinge coming back to her cheeks.

"Can't leave yet," I confessed hoarsely, not meeting her eyes.

"Oh, why is that?" she asked, mildly curious as she walked toward me. _What the hell do I do now, stand up and show or lie through my teeth?_ I wondered silently _. Lie through my teeth, obviously._

"Still feeling the effects of the alcohol last night," I muttered. She raised a disbelieving brow and smiled wickedly.

"Uh huh, the only other time I saw you in this state, we were at the bar and that Asari dancer wouldn't leave you alone," she smirked with a pointed look to my crotch. My plates had risen slightly, sensitive to the touch. _Oh fuck…talk about being ousted!_ I snarled to myself as my skin heated in embarrassment.

A growl of frustration erupted as she grinned, her eyes gleaming fiendishly. I had to wonder if she understood what this meant. She didn't seem to…

"So, who pissed you off?" she asked quietly, taking a seat next to me. _My way out_ , I thought, _she just gave it to me._ I didn't have to humiliate myself; I was free and clear. I grinned, ready to leap at the chance.

"No one, just a bad night's sleep," I muttered, avoiding her eyes. She tossed her hair over one shoulder and the sweet scent of vanilla wafted over to me. My traitorous body throbbed once more, and I fought back a groan. I had to get out of this room NOW! Before I did something I would regret and she killed me.

Disappointment showed in her eyes so briefly that I dismissed it. "Oh yeah, just to let you know we are heading to the Citadel for some leave. The crew needs it," she stated, watching me closely.

"That’s a good idea, but are you sure you wish to go there? Kaidan might be back there shortly," I asked her softly.

"Oh well," she shrugged. She rose to her feet, never taking her eyes off of me. They were searching for something, but what I wasn't sure. I tried to keep my face blank, to hide my emotions behind a mask. She didn't need to know a Turian had feelings for her. That was the last thing she needed right now.

"I should go and let the crew know," she muttered, sadness showing in her eyes for a moment before she walked out of her cabin. The door closed behind her and I stared at it for the longest time, not sure what happened. But I knew that look well; it was the same look I saw when Kaidan had hurt her. My chest constricted, thinking that I harmed her in some way.

I left her cabin, deep in thought now that my body was under control. Several people stared as I exited the elevator. Some had knowing smirks. "Didn't know the Commander was into aliens. If I would have know she was that easy, I would have tried for her myself," a human taunted as I walked by.

I growled low and menacingly; turning to the human, grabbing him out of his chair. I brought his face close to mine. "I dare you to say that to her, human!" I spat, shaking him until I saw fear in his eyes.

"What in the fucking hell is going on here?" Shepard's voice cut across the yells from the other crew members.

I stopped and let him back down on his feet. "Shepard…" I began to explain, but she cut me off with a shake of her head.

"Don't even say a word, Garrus," she warned in a cold voice.

"Commander, the Turian had nothing to do with it. It was the new guy that started this." Gardener interrupted, defending me. I was shocked. I didn't think anyone would speak up on my behalf. I was an alien on a human ship.

"Gardener is right, Commander. He said something that should've never been uttered, slurring your name and the Turian stepped in," another crew member stated.

"Oh, and what was the slur on my name?" she asked coldly, staring at the culprit. I knew this would go bad; the crew didn't need to see her kill someone and I knew she would. She was human and being accused of fucking an alien was probably the worst thing this man could say.

"Shepard, leave it alone," I told her quietly. She glanced at me sharply and then back down to the man.

"No, I want to know what was said," she stated harshly.

"He made a comment that you were into aliens and since you were, he should have tried for himself earlier," one of the crew members muttered. She stalked over to the man who was now glaring at her, fire in her eyes as she seethed.

"Do you honestly think I would spread my legs for you?" she sneered contemptuously. "At least the aliens on this ship have more respect than you do. Pack your bags; as soon as we get to the Citadel, you are off this ship!" Her voice was low and dangerous; some of the other crew moved back from her. "Step out of line once more before we arrive and you will be going out of the airlock." She smiled cruelly before walking away from the quivering man.

"She wouldn't…would she?" he asked anyone willing to answer. Fear was fresh in his voice, making it shake.

"I've heard what has happened to some people who crossed her and I don't want to be one of them. Garrus can tell you more. He's known her the longest here," Gardener stated coldly from behind his counter. "You're lucky all she is doing is kicking you off of the ship," he spat. Irritated, he turned his back and started cooking once again. I looked over at the human; he was pale, his eyes wide as he stood there, stunned. He looked to the others for support, but no one would look at him or come to his aid.

I smiled as I went over to Gardener for some food. "Has she eaten yet?" he asked, smiling as he passed me a plate.

"No, I don't think so," I mumbled.

"Figures, that woman needs a man in her life to take care of her. She never eats unless Kelly badgers her, so caught up in paperwork and the like. Obstinate woman," he grumbled good naturedly.

I chuckled, "she hasn't changed much, then. She was the same on the original Normandy."

"So how did you get her to eat back then?" he asked curiously, placing his spoon on the counter and leaning forward, as if sharing a big secret.

"I made sure she ate, or Kaidan did," I spat his name.

"Well, can you take this to her and make sure she eats?" he asked with a wink before turning away.

"Just like old times," I grumbled as I walked away, Gardener's laughter following me.

Shepard's point of view

I sat there going through my emails, more dossiers of people we were to recruit. I couldn't focus on the words; thoughts of Garrus kept interrupting my thoughts. The look in his eyes as he held the man by the neck off the floor; rage had been there until he looked at me. Then it changed. There was something tender in his gaze, along with something else I couldn't define. It was the same look I had seen from him countless time on the old Normandy.

Anytime we had been alone, working on that godforsaken Mako or sitting in my office or room. So many times I had caught him watching me with _that_ look and still I couldn't figure it out. When I had been told what that guy had said, at first I had expected to be insulted at the insinuation that I would sleep with an alien. That wasn't what I felt at all; I was outraged that he would insult Garrus and other aliens, making it seem like they weren't worthy.

Waking up with my head resting on Garrus' thigh after another one of _those_ dreams had been embarrassing at first. I ran and hid, taking a shower, trying to cool my thoughts before I did something that could jeopardize our friendship. That was the last thing I needed or wanted. I would be lost if he wasn't around.

I had come back out, expecting him to be gone, but he was still there. I thought for sure that he would leave after I put him in that awkward position. Inside of me, where he would never know, I was finally content, just seeing him sitting there on my couch. Just being near him brought emotions that I had never experienced. They didn't scare me though they should have, but I trusted him.

The door to my room opened without EDI saying anything. I glanced over my shoulder to see him standing there with a tray of food. "That better not be all mine, Turian," I grinned as he went over to the couch and set the food down.

"Nope, I'm joining you," he grinned, patting the couch next to him. I closed my emails and went over to him and what could loosely be called food. I had to admit that Gardener did better this time; it was edible, at least.

"So why are you bringing me food?" I asked as I dug in, starved.

"And if I didn't, when would you eat?" he asked with a knowing look. "Just like the old Normandy, you wouldn't eat; always busy and refusing to take the time."

"Hey, I ate…" I trailed off as he gave me an amused look. "Sometimes…" I added sheepishly, and he laughed.

"I'll make a deal with you, just like the old Normandy. You make the time and I'll bring the food," he smirked, waiting for my answer.

My expression grew somber. "Are you sure, Garrus? After what that guy said? It affects you, too," I told him quietly.

"He's an asshole; don't listen to what he says," he muttered.

"Garrus, you and I both know that some of the crew will talk. Are you sure you can handle them talking about us?" I asked quietly. I knew he was trying to make light of it. His shield - he always hid behind jokes and smart remarks.

"What is the worse that would happen? You and I both know nothing is going on," he growled, getting up and pacing my quarters. "The other Normandy crew didn't have a problem with it," he snapped.

I didn’t say anything. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to see him hurt either. "Fine then, since you are so set, there had better be coffee with those meals," I grinned as his stance relaxed.

"Wasn't there always before?" he asked quietly with a grin, and he brushed a stray hair off my forehead. Without another word he left as I stood there breathless from his touch. My heart was pounding as I stared at the door for god only knows how long.

                                                                                ~ooo~

We all embarked onto the Citadel for shore leave, only EDI remaining to man the ship as the rest of us took some much needed R&R. My first task was to purchase some items for the ship and to find Gardener proper food, instead of the junk he was making now. Garrus walked beside me, his focus on a weapons shop not far away.

"Hey Shepard, I'm going to check out that store," he nodded towards the store that I had noticed him eyeing up.

"Sure, I'll meet you back on the Normandy later," I mumbled, heading toward The Dark Star, where I could find easy amusement to get a certain Turian out of my mind. With a grin, I headed toward the sound of pulse-pounding music. The place was packed; some people were dancing, while most were gathered around the bar. The atmosphere was alive, something I needed at the moment. A place to forget, a place where I could hide myself away for the time being and not have to worry about the solar system crashing down around me.

I made for the bar, ordering Jack Daniels straight up. I was going to need fortification for what I planned, for what I needed to help me forget. A first for me; something I never allowed myself to do - pick up a random male for the night. I swallowed my nerves as I swallowed the bitter alcohol. It burned all the way down, leaving a warm feeling in its wake.

I ordered another, ready to move to a booth well away from the crowd at the bar. The booth was quiet, away from prying eyes; not exactly what I needed, but it was best at the moment. The music pulsed through the room, relaxing me. I watched as people swayed to the beat, men and women talking intimately to each other. My senses were still alert, attuned to the people. Not enough alcohol if I was still thinking straight.

As the night wore on and I still sat in my booth, I began second guessing myself. Talking myself out of this plan I had, telling myself this was the wrong way to go about my problem. _So if this is the wrong way, then what in the hell was the right way,_ I argued back with myself.

Hours passed and my vision blurred as I looked around the bar once more. I was about to leave and head to the Normandy, when a hand gently caressed my shoulder. I glanced up to see Garrus standing there, a concerned look on his face. "How long have you been here?" he asked, taking a seat across from me with a blue drink in front of him. He waited patiently as he sipped his drink and I gulped back the remainder of mine.

"Don't know," I slurred slowly, trying to form the words properly. I stared in the amber glass, avoiding his gaze. The tension that had left my body came back quickly with him so near.

"So why are you sitting here in the dark, drinking all by yourself? That isn't like you," he commented quietly.

"Came here to work off some stress, but talked myself out of it," I grumbled, and his eyes widened as his mandibles flared. I glanced down at his hands; he had clenched them into fist on the table. Slowly I raised my eyes to his, and he glared at me, anger showing in his blue eyes.

"This isn't like you Shepard, why?" he asked. I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

"To forget, but it wouldn't work. I would remember him in the morning," I whispered, the alcohol loosening my tongue. I had to get out of here before I said too much.

Pain filled his eyes for a moment before returning to their cool calm. "What stopped you?" he asked coldly.

"I couldn't do that to him, he deserves better than that," I murmured so softly I wasn't sure he heard me. I stared at my hands, horrified at what was coming out of my mouth. I was thankful that I was sober enough to not mention names.

"Goddamn that fucking asshole! He really did a number to you, didn't he?" he shouted, catching the attention of people nearby. "When I see Kaidan next time, he will be praying for death." He growled, his eyes turning lethally calm; these were his killer's eyes. I was stunned speechless at the vehemence in his voice, and the hurt that lurked there, as well. "Come on. Let's get you back to the Normandy," he muttered, holding out his hand. I rose to my feet, swaying precariously, almost falling. He grabbed me around the waist to steady me. I leaned into him, my head resting on his chest until I could stand straight without falling.

He wrapped one arm around my shoulder, helping me walk back to the Normandy. People stopped and stared as I stumbled along. The doors to the Normandy came into view; a part of me wanted to run back to the bar where I was relaxed. Mostly, though, I wanted my bed, where I could rest my head.

He led me onto the elevator and I stumbled once more, almost knocking both of us over. With a growl he swung me up into his arms, carrying into my quarters. I closed my eyes, resting my head on his shoulder as he laid me on my bed. I felt him move away and then my boots were being removed.

I cracked open my eyes to see him heading for the door. He stopped and looked back at me with misery in his eyes that I didn't understand. Sleep slowly claimed me as I snuggled down into the blanket he placed over me. "Goodnight Shepard," he whispered, stepping into the elevator.

"It wasn't Kaidan I was thinking about; it was you," I murmured just before I passed out.

Garrus' point of view

The doors closed as I stood there, mouth gaping, unsure if I heard her properly. Her words had been slurred, barely above a whisper. _No, I couldn't have heard her right,_ I told myself.

People were just getting back on the Normandy, all in better spirits. "Hey Garrus, how is the Commander doing now?" Gardner asked as he made his way to the crew cabins.

"Better, though she's going to have a massive headache come morning," I grinned, trying not to let my shock show through.

"Good, she's been real stressed lately. She really need time away," he muttered as he entered the room ahead of me. I made my way to my cot, hoping for a half decent night's sleep.

Her words, or what I thought I heard, replayed in my mind. A part of me wanted to hightail it out of here. Nothing good could come of this, but I knew I wouldn't do that. The only thing for me to do was to distance myself, for her own protection. That was the best solution. I would still have her back when we went on missions, but other than that I would have to avoid her.


	4. Chapter 4

Shadows covered me as I crouched in the ducts, watching the newest arrivals to the Dantius Tower. A Turian walked in first, taking cover behind a wall. A Krogan came in next, shooting haphazardly at anything that moved. I wasn't impressed with what I was seeing, and the mess they were making. They could have come in silently, but instead the barreled their way through.

However, their rather unorthodox fighting style gave me the perfect opportunity. Maybe, just maybe I wouldn't die in this mission as I had originally thought. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was dying anyway; there wasn't that much time left for me and this had been the perfect chance to make amends +for my past. That's why I had accepted the job.

My breath caught as a woman entered, her ebony hair pulled back, swaying behind her as she moved lithely through the door. She moved with a grace that I hadn't seen in quite awhile, reminding me of a video I had seen of one of the humans' natural predators; a panther, I believe it was called. She reminded me of that cat, moving with grace and elegance in each step. She fired three shots as she entered. Three men fell to their deaths. My skin prickled with awareness as she moved. For a moment it was disconcerting to have this feeling; the last time I had felt anything like this was when I was with Irikah.

Curious, I continued watching as she moved further into the building, confidence evident in each step. Her shots precise, never wasting ammo, never letting the victim suffer. The Turian said something to her that had her glowering at him. I decided that I had watched long enough and that it was time to take my leave and finish my mission. The beautiful young woman had awoken something inside of me that I thought long dead. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I crept silently through the ductwork, glancing below when there was opening where I could keep an eye on the enemy. With perfect memory I flashed back to that woman walking through the doors. The two men who accompanied her, had looked at her with relief as she took down their three foes.

Below me, three Salarians stood terrified as they tried to hide themselves without luck. The Dantius mercenaries approached their hiding spot, ready to kill them. I jumped from my spot, landing softly on the ground, gun already aimed. I fired three bullets, and three mercs lay dead.

"Follow me," I told the Salarian workers, leading them to a room that I can lock them in, where they would be safe. They moved quickly, noisily as they entered the room with me following them.

"Stay here, you will be safe," I stated, moving back into the hallway. They looked at me with gratitude. Without a word, as their attention was turned to each other, I swiftly sealed the door and made my escape back into the ducts. _At least I was able to save some lives through this mission._ I thought with relief.

I moved quickly to the elevator that would take me to my intended target, but I stopped short as I saw the mysterious woman again, this time in the distance. She was hidden behind some crates, shooting at a full squad of mercenaries. Her companions were doing better than I originally thought they would.

I watched with interest as her gun stopped firing and she muttered something I couldn't hear from my current location. Two mercenaries moved toward her quickly, lethally. I raised my gun, ready to take them out for her.

She stood up, facing her assailants head on. She stood there, waiting as they neared. I waited and watched; not sure what she was up to, but my curiosity was piqued. The first opponent came barreling toward her clumsily. She grasped his arm, twisting it behind him, using him as a shield against the second mercenary. With a quick twist of her arms she snapped his neck, running towards his partner.

Her steps were sure, without hesitation as she used one of the crates to help her obtain air. She kicked out, knocking him back. I watched with wonder as she fought him; it was a very one sided fight. She defeated him with ease. The prickling was back, only this time my skin felt like it was heated. I knew this feeling very well and was shocked that a human, of all things was eliciting these emotions in me once again.

With a small smile I moved on, not worrying about her anymore. I made for the elevator without being detected, which wasn't surprising with all the damage those three were doing. At the top there were two guards waiting, watching for the three intruders.

Quickly, without thought, I look them out, quietly snapping their necks before jumping up into an opening for the air ducts. My target was near. I could hear her shouting orders to kill the three that I had just passed. I waited; now wasn't the time and I didn't want to give myself away too soon. From my vantage point in the ducts, I was afforded a clear view of the room below me.

The woman and her companions came up the stairs since the elevator had been disabled a short time before. She looked around, constantly alert, as they moved further onto the floor. Her ebony hair shone as it caught the lights. For a moment, my breath caught in my throat.

She looked up at the ceiling, her azure blue eyes searching, calculating. She raised her gun, pointing it toward my hiding place, a smile quirked her lips as she nodded, staring straight at me.

I held in the gasp of shock that threatened to escape. For the first time since Irikah, I had been spotted. She was looking right at me, her beautiful eyes certain of my presence, as she stared at me for those few moments. Something passed between us that I had no name for, and my skin tingled with an awareness that hadn't gone away since I first saw her walk through those doors.

 _Why now, of all times? It made no sense; I was dying! I didn't have time to pursue anything of this nature._ I wasn't worried that she was human, a different race than me. I had been on my own since my wife died and I had found relief whenever it was needed, with whoever caught my attention at the time. _Was this awareness what this was all about?_ I tried to rationalize my reaction toward her. I somehow didn't think it was that simple; I was positive that it was more than I had previously felt with others.

"Shepard, is everything alright?" the Turian asked as he moved closer to her. A small growl escaped my mouth, quickly covered by my hand as the Turian caressed her shoulder. I was shocking myself at my reactions to her. This was a first time that I felt like killing someone simply for laying his hand on a woman; one that I didn't even know.

"Yeah, everything is fine," she smirked, leading the way further onto the floor, toward my target. "Let's go find the assassin so I can get out of here," she muttered, her voice louder than it should have been. I watched her as she walked away, leading the small party. She looked over her shoulder a final time, her eyes locked on my location. Once again I was shocked; _so they are looking for me._ The question was whether they were friend or foe. If they were foe, then she would be the perfect person to pit myself against in order to die. Though if she was a friend, I was intrigued to see what it was she wanted from me.

I couldn't think of anything that she couldn't handle, she was more than capable from what I saw. As they disappeared around the corner I moved quickly, keeping silent as I headed for the offices. The woman wasn't that far away; she was already at the doors of Nassana Dantius' office.

I hesitated as she stayed at the doors longer that I thought she would. She didn't seem to be in a hurry and I wondered why. "Shepard, what's the hold up?" the Krogan asked in annoyance.

"I'm listening," she grinned at him.

"Listening for what?" the Turian asked curiously. I watched as he took a step closer to her, just as he had before. My hand tightened on my gun, I shook myself as I realized what I had almost done. _Why is she affecting me so?_ That was my main question that I wanted answered.

"Nothing to worry about, but I've got my answer," she murmured, scanning the ceiling above her. "Let's go," she commanded and stepped through the doors.

Shepard was her name. A name everyone knew - the Savoir of the Citadel, plus a few other names I'd heard. However, she was standing there alive, when it was reported she was dead. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I moved quickly into the office, wondering what she would do. Would she take the kill or would she allow me to finish my contract?

"Shepard! So it's you who has come to kill me," Nassana shouted, alarmed, her professional façade faded for a moment. I smiled as Shepard laughed aloud.

"Paranoid, are we? You know, I should kill you for what you did to me! For how you used me for your own gain. I really should, but I won't. I'm not here to kill you, actually," she replied casually.

"Then if you aren't here for me, why are you here?" Nassana asked, focused fully on Shepard.

"I'm here for someone you'll be meeting soon enough, but not before I'm done with you," Shepard snapped, her voice cold as she glanced up behind where Nassana was standing and where I was hiding. I blinked slowly, not surprised this time, but interested in why she basically told me to stay my hand. I listened to their arguing; it seemed Shepard had more cause to kill Nassana than I did. If that happened, I wouldn't be bothered by it, even though I wasn't the one to fulfill the contract. This woman intrigued me; made me think things that I had given up on long ago.

"You still can't be sore about that mission," the Asari sneered. Something told me that was the wrong move. My gut told me that Shepard was barely holding herself in control. I watched as Shepard ran a finger along her gun. Her azure eyes had turned cold and lethal as she glared at the Asari. I thought for sure she would kill her then, but she didn't. Control - it seemed she had an abundance of it.

"You sent me to kill your sister; you used me. Then to top it all off, you lied to me. Not many people who have lied to me still live. Consider yourself lucky," Shepard growled.

"So you _are_ here to kill me," the Asari growled as her guard went on alert. I shifted ready to jump down. _Damn,_ I thought to myself with feeling.

"You better hope it's someone else wanting you dead; because if it's me, I can promise you a slow and painful death," she hissed and nodded once. I took that as my cue.

I jumped down, snapping the neck of both of Nassana's guards. I turned her to face me and pressed my gun into her stomach, pulling the trigger once and laying her gently on her desk. I bowed my head and prayed for forgiveness of my wrong doings.

"Impressive entrance," the Turian said. I didn't answer nor did I acknowledge them. I wanted to finish my prayers first. She stood there silently; I could feel her eyes on me, searching my face. My skin prickled once again.

I finished my prayers and met her piercing eyes. They weren't cold or calculating at the moment, they were curious and smiling. I knew her guard wasn't down, but she was showing me she meant no harm.

"I take it you are Thane Krios?" she asked, her voice smooth like liquid.

"I am, what do you wish of me?" I asked, more curious now than I had been since laying eyes on her. She seemed to know of me and I wondered how that was.

"I'm going against an alien race called the Collectors," she stated and my eyes widened at her declaration. I knew who the Collectors were by reputation. Why would she want to pit herself against a race that was known to be technically advanced? It was a suicide mission, to say the least. "I need the best and you are the best at what you do," she murmured thoughtfully.

"Why are you going against the Collectors?" I asked, watching for any hesitancy that would tell me if she was hiding something.

"They are attacking human colonies," she muttered with a flash of pain in her eyes that was gone as quickly as it had come.

"This was to be my last mission," I told her thoughtfully. She looked ready to interrupt, but I continued before she could say anything. "You see, I'm dying," I stated softly, not sure how I felt about that knowledge now.

"I take it that is a no?" she asked, searching my face for an answer when I didn't give one immediately. Human settlements being attacked by Collectors; it was a worthy mission.

"No, I will join you. They need to be stopped," I stated with certainty.

"Good, thank you," she grinned, and my breath caught once more. I swallowed thickly as she turned to leave. "If there is anything you need to do or things you need to sort out before you leave this planet go ahead, since we will be here for a day or two. You'll find the Normandy at the docking bay. Tell Miranda who you are and she will see you settled if I am not there." She nodded, about to walk out the door.

"Anything I need to do can be done from your ship," I told her, following her out of the building.

"Fine, head to the docking bay and go to the Normandy. We'll be there once we have concluded our business," she nodded with a smile as we made our way to our transportation.

Mine was too damaged to move from its spot and I glanced at her. "Or you can come with us for a ride," she grinned.

"Shepard, you are not driving," the Turian growled.

"Oh yes, I am," she grinned with delight.

"I'm sitting in the back then," both the Turian and the Krogan said at the same time. The Turian turned to me with a grin and a look in his eyes that I didn't like. "You get to sit in the front with her. I hope you have a strong stomach," he chuckled as he climbed in. I took a seat next to her, worried about the meaning of his words.

"Everyone ready?" she asked, her eyes light with laughter as the Turian grumbled from the backseat.

"Garrus, don't be such a baby, just be thankful this isn't the mako," she chuckled, grinning back at him. I watched him swallow, not sure if it was out of nerves.

She took off with thrusters on full. We were pushed back into our seats and I wondered if we would make it out alive. She weaved in and out of traffic with precision, her hands steady, not a trace of nerves. The two in the back seat groaned and complained about her driving, making her laugh.

Her laughter was soft and musical, her face bright as her eyes danced with mirth. I stared in wonder, not worried about traffic. A Drell's eidetic memory was often a gift; the image of her in this moment I would never want to forget.

The shuttle did a nose dive toward the parking lot. I gasped, unsure of this maneuver; we didn't slow our descent, nor did she slow down when we neared the parking lot. With a sharp turn she glided in, cutting the engine before we even landed. With barely even a bump she had us parked, without any permanent damage. I was impressed; not many people could pull that off without killing themselves.

"So if you want to head to the docking bay, we will meet you there later," she smirked, climbing out of the vehicle.

"Do you need a hand with this mission?" I asked her. She glanced at the Krogan (who I found out was named Grunt) thoughtfully.

"If you are going to come with us, then we need to get you better equipment than what you have," she said and gave me an apologetic look. "We'll get you settled on the Normandy then we will head out after the Justicar once we are restocked," she sighed, shrugging her shoulders.

I walked beside her to the docking bay, Grunt and the Turian, who was named Garrus, followed quietly. I could feel eyes boring into the back of my skull. I glanced behind me to find the Turian glowering at me. I wasn't sure what to make of the change in his demeanor.

The Normandy was a large, luxurious ship, with a full complement of crew members.A woman named Kelly met Shepard with a greeting and told her she had messages. I followed her into the armory, where another human was working. He stopped what he was doing, taking my measure before nodding and turning back to his duties.

"So do you have a preference in living quarters?" she asked, waiting patiently by some doors.

"Somewhere dry," I told her.

"The Life Support is the driest place on the ship," a mechanical voice offered. An AI! I was shocked that they had one on this ship.

"That was EDI," Shepard commented, leading the way to an elevator. "Garrus, can you make sure that we have enough ammo this time?" she asked him. He stared at her for a moment; so many emotions passed through his eyes that I couldn't catch them all.

"Sure," he muttered before walking away.

"Follow me and I'll take you to Life Support," she muttered, watching the retreating back of the Turian. My eyes narrowed as irrational anger surfaced momentarily before I once again regained my control.

We entered the elevator in silence; she seemed to be deep in thought. I bowed my head as if in prayer, but I was actually watching her without her notice. She leaned against the wall, her arms folded across her chest. Those azure blue eyes were clouded and troubled as she stared off into space.

The doors slid open and she walked out as if she was on autopilot. She led me to where I would be staying, without another word. She turned and began to walk away. "When should I meet you above deck?" I asked her softly.

Her head snapped up, shock showing in her eyes for a moment. "Meet me at the airlock in half an hour," she muttered before taking her leave. I watched her walk away, with a troubled mind.

It didn't take long for me to meet them at the airlock. She was there with Garrus and it seemed they were in a heated argument. The crew didn't seem to care, so I figured this was a normal occurrence. "I would wait if I were you," Kelly muttered, looking at the two of them worriedly.

I nodded, staying where I was, waiting until they sorted out what was wrong. "You'd better get use to this, they've been bickering constantly since about a month ago. If they aren't bickering, they are avoiding each other," she muttered, glaring at the two.

"What happened?" I asked. It wasn't something I usually did, but I was curious about Shepard.

"No one knows, that is what's odd. They were best of friends since Garrus got here, but something happened," she shrugged. "I just hope they can work through whatever it is that is bothering them."

Shepard growled something low that I couldn't hear and the Turian flinched, backing away from her with his head bowed. Her features softened as she said something else. Garrus had a look of fear in his eyes as he took another few steps back in retreat. There was pain in Shepard's eyes as she witnessed this. I wasn't sure what to make of it, but my gut told me to tread carefully.

I moved over to them, and their gazes flicked to me as they moved apart. "Are you ready to head out?" she asked, passing me some weapons. They were of better quality than what I had.

"I'm ready," I told her, feeling the tension between the two. I worried that it might affect the mission.

"What are you better with, close encounters or distance?" she asked, watching me carefully.

"It doesn't matter," I shrugged.

"Fine, you are up in the frontlines with me. Garrus, you're taking the potshots," she grinned. To my surprise he grinned back. With our orders we left to find an Asari Justicar named Samara. My thoughts were still on the woman ahead of me, as I silently argued with myself about my reaction to her. _Now wasn't the time_ , I told myself, but my body disagreed.Choosing to follow my emotions, I finally decided to see where these feelings for Shepard would lead me.

                                                                                                ~ooo~

We met up with Samara, and she was as powerful as I thought she would be. I was greatly disturbed while watching Shepard and Garrus work together. They moved as one unit, each knowing what the other wanted. They bantered with each other and a part of me felt left out, like a fifth wheel, but she needed me here. I was the one who was helping her through the building, while Garrus had our backs. I was impressed with his skills, he was good.

Shepard had taken a hit in the arm, cursing a blue streak that had my eyes widening. Garrus had growled and the both of us had wasted more bullets than we should have into the Eclipse merc. We looked at each other for a moment, and the look in his eyes was clear. His gaze was territorial, filled with warning. I understood it perfectly well; His eyes reflected the same emotions I was feeling toward this woman I had only known for a few hours.

I wasn't backing down; instead I went to her side with a warning look of my own. He gave a deep guttural growl of warning as I placed my hands on her arm, trying to get a better look of the wound. "Don't worry about it, it's nothing," she muttered, brushing my hands away. I glanced up to see the Turian grinning.

"How do you suppose you are going to shoot while injured?" I asked calmly, readying some medigel. "You wouldn't want to miss out would you?" I smirked, as she looked at me in irritation.

"Fine just get it done," she glared at me as I grinned at her. Quickly, ignoring the Turian glaring down at me, I patched her up.

"I think Thane should take the potshots now and I'll be by your side," the Turian stated, giving me a glare.

"Sure, Thane, do you think you can cover our backs?" she asked with a small smile.

"With pleasure," I smirked at her.

"Yeah I just bet," Garrus grumbled as Shepard moved forward out of hearing range.

"Is there a problem?" I asked him with faux calm.

"Nothing I can't handle," he sneered, with a challenge in his eyes.

I answered that challenge with a nod. "We shall see," I smirked, walking past him, staring at him disdainfully.

A low rumbling growl followed me, sending a shiver of warning down my spine. "I wouldn't if I were you, what would Shepard think?" I advised, turning to him, my eyes cold and deadly.

"Don't worry Drell, you are right. Now isn't the time, but there will be other times," he sneered, following closely behind me as we made our way to Shepard.

I stayed back, covering them and taking out anything in the distance that their guns couldn't reach. Garrus and I called off each kill, taunting each other with our individual skills. I knew it was a childish game, but some primitive part of me wouldn't let it go. I had to win.

Shepard moved forward cautiously, searching for more mercs before we headed into another room. "All clear, Commander," I stated on the com. She stopped sneaking and moved forward slowly, while we followed closely behind her. I held back a groan as we entered a warehouse filled with containers. _Damn_ , I thought, _there are too many places for those mercs to hide and it will be way too easy for them to sneak up on us._

With a sigh of relief we headed up, overlooking the warehouse. A rumbling noise caught our attention; Garrus and Shepard's eyes widened, as did mine. A gun ship, that was my first thought and it was the right one.

"Take cover and use your strongest ammo," Shepard yelled, forgetting about the headset. She took out her grenade launcher with a grin. We both watched as she stood up, taking aim and firing at the ship. It did damage, but not enough to take it down. Her launcher went empty and she swore colorfully as she switched guns.

For what felt like hours, we were shooting at the ship as it changed its position, getting better angles at us. We lost cover a few times, coming close to dying, but luck was on our side. The ship started smoking and I sighed with relief, as did the Turian beside me. He face held a look of determination, but beneath that I saw fear.

With a few more shots, the ship went down with an explosion that sent us sprawling backwards. Shepard flew the furthest being the closest to the crashing vessel. I moved quickly to lighten her fall, using my body for impact, instead of the cold metal grating of the floor. She groaned when she tried to move, as did the rest of us. "Thanks for the save," she smiled before getting up. She held out a hand to me which I took, rising to my feet and holding her hand longer than was necessary. She gave me a curious look before shrugging and moving away. A growl behind me told that the Turian hadn't liked that at all and that fact made me smile.

She moved away, walking over to the Turian. "How you doing, Garrus?" she asked softly, worry coloring her voice. I didn't growl, but a hiss escaped before I could stop it.

"Fine," he grinned, but it wasn't her he was looking at; it was me. I glowered at him before turning away.

"We should move forward and see if we can find that information," she muttered, taking the lead once again.

"What's wrong Drell, afraid you are going to lose?" he taunted.

"Lose to you? I doubt it," I stated with a surety that I didn't feel. We glared at each other before catching up to Shepard. She was just entering another building without backup. I'd found out that was a normal for her. She usually didn't like people getting in her way when she was about to fight.

The hallway was clear as we continued our trek, checking out each room for the information Samara requested. We came across an audio file that made her growl low in rage. It seems the girl we had let go earlier in our mission was a murderer. "There is nothing you can do about it now," Garrus muttered.

"You're right, let's head out," she grumbled, storming out of the room.

"A word of advice, Drell; if I were you, I wouldn't say a word to her until she calms down. She's a ticking time bomb at the moment," Garrus said. Stopping in the hall, he glanced over his shoulder worriedly. "There are two things that Shepard hates above all else; betrayal and lies. Either of those two things can get a person killed."

"How long have you known her?" I asked, now that we were having a normal conversation.

"I was under her command when she went up against Saren," he stated before continuing on.

We walked the halls, clearing out rooms, taking out anything that moved. The both of us kept a watch on Shepard as she moved with agitated steps, not her usual grace. We took a few moment's breather as we rounded a corner and found a Volus in the hall.

She walked up to him, holstering her gun, her gaze curious as the Volus staggered into her and bounced back, landing on the floor. Garrus and I smirked, staying back, watching the confused individual.

"I am a biotic god! I think things – and they happen! Fear me, lesser creatures, for I am biotics made flesh!" the Volus, Niftu Cal, said as strutted between us. Garrus was hiding a chuckle behind his hand. I was trying to keep a straight face while Shepard smiled down at him.

"I don't know what drugs you're on, but stay back and I won't have to shoot you," Shepard muttered, rolling her eyes. I didn't believe that she would actually shoot him; he was harmless enough.

"You will regret your scandalous words! I am a great wind that will sweep all before me like a… a great wind. A great biotic wind!" he warned. "Yes, the Asari injected so many drugs into me that it was terrifying. But then I began to smell my greatness. They may laugh when I fall over, but they don't know what I know in my head – that I know that I am amazingly powerful. Fear me!" he stated triumphantly.

We glanced at each other, holding our mirth at bay as he walked over to Garrus, staring up at him with challenge.

"Are you part of Pitne For's trade group?" Shepard asked.

"When I was mortal, I worked for Pitne. Poor soul is probably terrified that I have not returned," Cal replied.

"He hasn't mentioned your disappearance. Probably so his departure won't get delayed. Face it – Pitne will pick money over friends every time," Garrus said to the high Volus.

He turned to me. "Garrus is right - he hasn't reported your departure. I get the distinct impression that Pitne prefers money to friends," I told him.

"Bah, I will wreak a just revenge upon his people! But first…the leader of these mercenaries is in the next room," he declared. We all turned to the door with interest until he continued. "I shall toss Wasea about like a rag doll!"

"Shepard, this guy couldn't tie his bootlaces, much less fight." Garrus said with a smirk.

"This fellow couldn't dress himself, much less fight," I told her with a shake of my head as the Volus continued strutting around.

"I will tear her apart! My biotics are unstoppable!" Cal shouted.

"Wasea will tear you apart. Take a nap – you'll feel better," Shepard said, shaking her head at him. Amusement brightened her eyes as she hid her smile.

"Are you mad? I'm unstoppable! Feasting on her biotic rich blood will be the last step of my ascension to godhood!" he intoned before walking towards the door.

Shepard smiled with amusement, hitting him in the back, knocking him face first onto the floor. A chuckled escaped Garrus and I as we watched. He rose to his feet, nearly falling over. "But…great wind! Biotic god! I'm…I…what was I saying? I'm tired. You may be right. Yes, I'm tired…I'll nap. Destroy the universe later…." he rambled, stumbling down the hallway.

"So much for godhood," Garrus smirked, laughing quietly.

"Sleep well. And dream of bulbous women," I murmured with a smile as we all watched him stumble away.

"Well let's go meet up with Wasea," she grinned at the retreating back of the Volus.

The battle went as I expected against an Asari. It took us a while and Garrus and I had to quit competing for a short time so we could defeat her. We both had a moment of pause as Shepard ran toward Wasea, falling to the ground, continuing to shoot as she slid across the floor. I swallowed my tongue on a rebuke that came to mind as Garrus growled some obscenities. "I hate it when she does that," he swore as we both marched over to her.

"Don't even think of reprimanding me. With the way the both of you have been competing against each other for most of the mission, I'm shocked we made it this far. So instead of counting on the both of you to do your job, I took matters into my own hands. If you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine!" she growled, turning to face us when she was finished looking at the pad in her hand.

"Whatever problem the two of you have with each other better get fixed fast because I won't be taking either of you on missions if this keeps up," she hissed before storming away.

We glared at each other for a moment before he spoke. "She will do it, keep us from missions," he muttered, running his hand over the back of head while I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"So what are you suggesting?" I asked him when I was calm once again.

"No more challenges during missions," he muttered, his voice strained as if the words were being pulled out from him. I thought about it for a moment before giving a nod. He held out his hand, a challenging look in his eyes; with a sigh, I took the proffered hand.

In silence we all walked back to collect the Justicar; I was on one side as Garrus was on the other side of her. This time there were no challenges between us, as agreed. "I hope the two of you worked things out?" she asked with a quirk of her brow.

"In a matter of speaking," I answered, ignoring her annoyed expression.

"Good, I would really hate to have to leave the both of you behind," she stated coldly.

                                                                                ~ooo~

We walked back to the Normandy after picking up my stuff from the motel room I had rented. Garrus and I glared at each other most of the time on the walk. Samara watched us with interest, a small smile in her eyes as she shook her head.

I went to my room to meditate, to figure out what I should do with Shepard, if anything. Garrus headed elsewhere as she went to her quarters. I silently berated myself for my conduct on the mission; for baiting a team member.

Each time I closed my eyes to meditate her face would appear to me, breaking what little focus I had. With a determination that I hadn't felt for years, I planned my next move.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

I relaxed in my office chair, going over messages that I had received; one of them was from Kaidan. I found I couldn't close or delete it, I kept reading it over. Basically it said he was sorry about the way he acted on Horizon and wished to speak with me. I closed my eyes as betrayal and anger burned through me.

It should have been Kaidan's betrayal that upset me, but it wasn't; it was my own body's. I still wanted him after all this time, even though I was still pissed at him. My body still remembered the press of his, the heated kisses and the pleasure it found with him. In the most basic sense, I needed release and pleasuring myself wasn't doing it any more.

I glanced at the clock, Thane would be here soon. Gardener had arranged it so that Thane brought my lunches to make sure I ate and Garrus brought my suppers. Though suppers hadn't been coming lately, not since Garrus spent the night after Kaidan and I broke up. It was Thane that was making sure I ate now.

We'd been talking since he started bringing my lunch; sometimes we would sit quietly, enjoying being in each other's company. I found out more of his disease and some of his past. How he became an assassin, his training and why the Hanar had recruited him at such a young age. We talked about some of my past, though I avoided discussing the worst of it. I enjoyed his company and missed him when he was away. My feelings for both he and Garrus were extremely complicated. I liked them both and now they each had a starring role in my dreams.

I tried speaking with Garrus several times, hoping to discover why he was avoiding me, but he was always busy with his calibrations and brushed me off. If this situation continued, we were going to have a talk and it wasn't going to be pleasant. We would be taking it to the mats and I was going to kick his ass until some sense came to him.

I read the note from Kaidan once more, trying to decide what I was going to do. Should I see him, see what he wanted or should I just ignore it. The more I thought about, the more upset I became, and a massive headache settled over me.

My doors swished open, announcing Thane's arrival. He didn't say a word, but went over to my couch, laying out the plates on the coffee table. This was normal, he was never announced and could walk right in. It didn't matter if I was here or busy in the bathroom, I had told EDI that Garrus and Thane had permission to come and go as they wished. I was odd, I never gave Kaidan that amount of freedom with my personal space.

I shoved those thoughts out of the way and focused on the rest of my messages, wanting them out of the way before I ate so I could try and relax.

**Thane's point of view**

I sat there watching, waiting for her to finish. I'd learned that she needed to finish what she was doing or she would be too distracted and would barely eat.

I smiled to myself as I thought back to the cook's request. I had been walking back to Life Support after talking with Shepard. He had stopped me, asking if I could bring some food to Shepard's quarters so she would eat. I had been hesitant, not sure if this was a setup to have Shepard turn against me. I had noticed some of the looks the crew members gave me; they weren't happy having another non-human onboard.

I had agreed after a moment, taking both her plate and one for myself that Gardener presented with a grin. For the first week I had been on alert, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. The crew didn't think anything of it, which struck me as odd, but was reassuring at the same time.

For most of my life I was a loner.I liked being alone, but now I looked forward to these lunches and suppers. It amused me how she would get caught up with something and forget about eating. Or how when she was in one of her moods, she would challenge me to fight her on the mats in the sparring area. That had happened a few times and each time we called a draw. I was always grateful when it was over, because it was torture to be so close to her and not do what I knew I wanted with her.

I came back to the present, watching her as she read what was on the screen. Her head was propped up in her hand, a grimace on her face as her other hand rubbed her forehead. I moved over to her silently, ready to take her from the computer so she could eat something.

I moved behind her and she didn't tense as she usually did when someone stood behind her. "Shepard, you should eat," I murmured, waiting for the answer I knew would come. _'Just let me finish this," she would say with a smile._

"I don't think I can eat at the moment, Thane," she muttered, rubbing her forehead again. I looked at her in concern, seeing the pain in her eyes as she gazed up steadily at the screen.

"May I?" I asked her cautiously, bringing me hands toward her head. She leaned forward in her chair and turned to face me with a suspicious look.

"May you what?" she asked nervously. I hid a smile at her wariness.

"A trick I was taught to take away headaches," I smiled innocently down at her. She looked at me distrustfully for a moment, before nodding her head slowly and turning back around. I placed pressure on her shoulders forcing her to lean back in the chair. She complied, but sat there stiffly. I smiled down at the top of her head.

With two fingers on temples, I messaged her, applying some pressure, moving them in a circle until she relaxed beneath my manipulation. Gradually I moved my hands to her scalp, applying pressure in certain spots; working my way down her neck, letting her soft hair slide through my fingers. A soft moan escaped her as I worked at the tense muscles of her neck and shoulders. My blood heated at that sound leaving her lips, thoughts of what else could make her moan flitted through my mind.

She leaned her head back against my chest as I continued, her eyes closed, the strain she had been carrying slowly fading away. She looked younger, less stern like this. Her body lay lax in her chair, her breathing slow and even. I trailed a finger softly down her face, wondering at the difference between us. Her skin was soft and warm. I breathed in her scent; she smelled of soft herbs and her hair had a sweet aroma to it.

I stopped what I was doing, happy that she had some relief. I knew lately she hadn't been sleeping properly and it was starting to show in things she did. I had thought about asking her if she wanted to talk, but I knew she would rebuff me. She was a private person, not letting anyone in her personal space.

Gently I scooped her up in my arms, holding her securely against me. She didn't weigh much; she was shorter than me with a slight build, slender and strong. She gave a small moan, moving her head to rest on my shoulder as her arms went around my neck. I thought she had woken up, but she was still semi asleep.

I laid her gently on the bed, covering her in one of the blankets on her bed. She hugged a pillow to her as if holding someone else, curling around it. Her breathing deepened as I stood there for a moment, memorizing her. I brushed some stray strands from her face; she didn’t stir as I ran my hand through the soft tresses.

I moved away as my blood started heating just from watching her. It was getting harder to be around her; just the sight of her brought emotions that I wasn't ready for. Emotions that should still be dead, but somehow she had awoken them. A part of me, the part that still wanted to live rejoiced, while another, the part that accepted my upcoming death, rejected the idea of starting anything romantic in nature with anyone. Even as my mind argued against it, my heart had made the decision. She made me feel something that no one had since Irikah and I planned on finding out where it would lead.

I grabbed the plates, taking them with me. I already planned on bring her something later on after she woke. "EDI, can you let me know when Shepard is awake so I can bring her food?" I asked the computer. It was odd talking to her like another person.

"I will," she answered.

I went to leave, but stopped when I saw her computer still on. I was about to turn it off for her but the message on the screen caught my attention. I usually don't read other people's mail unless it was for an assassination assignment, but three word caught my attention. "I love you," it read. I scanned the whole message and my blood boiled. Kaidan! I had heard of him on occasion from our pilot. Nothing I'd heard had been good. Rumorhad it that he dumped her and called her a traitor. I knew she would have been upset about that.

Jealously and another deeper emotion caught me unaware for a moment before I forced myself to calm down.

**Garrus point of view**

I closed myself off in my space in the Main Battery. Ever since the night of Shepard's drunken confession, I had been avoiding her. I even brushed her off when she came here to talk with me, saying I was too busy.

It didn't matter what I did, she still plagued my thoughts. I still dreamed of her pressed against me, of those sounds she had been making while she slept. Without even trying, thoughts of her beneath me, finding her release popped in my mind. I groaned tortuously at the image, my plates shifting as my body throbbed, wanting release.

 _This was insane, why am I putting myself through this?_ I thought furiously. When that assassin came on board with the challenge for Shepard's attention, I fully intended on taking him up on it. But instead I ran and hid. She was my best friend; how could I do something like this to her? But could I live with myself without even trying and letting the assassin have her?

No I couldn't. With my mind decided, I left the Main Battery in search for Shepard. I worried about her, she hadn't been sleeping well. I could see it the last time I rebuffed her when she came to talk. A twinge of guilt twisted my insides uncomfortably.

I was just about to walk into the quiet Mess Hall, but Shepard's voice stopped me in my tracks. She sounded hesitant, slightly embarrassed. The only time I had heard that voice from her was when she was with Kaidan and I had walked in on something personal.

"Shepard, is there something I can do for you?" Thane asked. I scowled, hearing his voice.

"Um, I wanted to thank you for the message you gave me," she murmured. I could hear the hesitancy in her voice, the shyness.

"The pleasure was all mine," he said softly. I muffled the growl that escaped. Her laughter washed over me, enraging me further. "How are you feeling?"

"A lot better, a lot more relaxed, though I'm sorry that I fell asleep on you," she muttered. _Fell asleep on him?_ _What the hell! I don't think so._ I listened as they talked for a few moments and then Shepard's steps faded towards the elevator.

I walked into the Mess Hall, taking a seat across from Thane. He glanced up at me with a knowing look. He had known I was there in the shadows and that I had heard every single word. "Stay away from her, assassin," I growled in warning.

"Or what?" he asked with his usual calm. I couldn't think of anything that ruffled him, even when we were challenging each other on Illium. His voice **was** always smooth, never giving any emotions away, never giving his thoughts away.

"Or there will be one less Drell on this ship," I grinned maliciously, liking the idea the more I thought about it.

"And what if Shepard actually does come to care for me, would you take happiness from her?" he asked without looking up from his drink. "After everything she has been through, would you take any joy she can get from her?"

I swore, hitting the table open handed; no I couldn't do that to her. If she was honestly happy with him, then I would respect her decision. _Damn, why does he have to be so reasonable?_ I thought irritably.

"She doesn't care for you that much yet, I am sure, so it wouldn't be a loss," I grinned, rising from the table.

"Are you so sure?" he raised his eyes to look at me with an unflinching gaze.

"No, but I'm willing to fight for her," I warned him.

"As am I," he murmured to my retreating back.

His warning was clear in my mind as I walked back to the Main Battery. I slowed my steps as a thought came to me, an idea that would end this. If this was a Turian ship we would fight it out. Damn, Shepard always fought out her frustrations on the ship, we even made a sparing room of sorts near Grunt's living quarters. We even went as far as clearing out a large space for the mats we had purchased.

I grinned as the idea took form and headed back to the Drell. He watched me as I neared. His gaze was so steady and unwavering as I neared him that it threw me off for a moment. "Do you want something, Garrus?" he asked so politely that it set my teeth on edge.

"I have an idea on how we can settle this," I smirked.

"Oh, and what do you purpose?" he replied curiously.

"If this was a Turian ship we would settle this with a one on one fight. I don't see why we can't do that now," I smirked as he cocked his head to one side.

"What are the stakes?" he asked without a trace of concern.

"If you lose, you leave her alone. If you win, I'll back off," I growled.

"When?" he asked.

"Now," I smiled, excited for the fight though a part of me was worried. Shepard could beat me easily. I wasn't sure about him. I had only seen him use hand to hand once and that was when he had the advantage.

"No, tomorrow morning," he stated coldly. I was shocked at the coldness that I saw in his eyes. "Supper will be soon and Shepard needs to eat or she will forget all about it again," he smirked, knowing that he had taken that particular privilege from me.

"This won't take long," I told him with surety. There would still be a lot of time for me to get Shepard her supper.

"I have no doubts about that," he stated with a shrug.

**Shepard's point of view**

I walked into the Mess Hall to see money changing hands between several people. This wasn't unusual; the crew bet on almost anything. I knew there were bets going on as to who I would be dating, Thane or Garrus. I didn't care as long as it kept morale up. This time I went on alert when the room fell silent as I walked in. Usually it didn't, even when the bets were about me or another guy that they thought I would be dating.

I walked over to Gardener, who was usually the ring leader, "So what is going on?" I asked, leaning against the counter.

"Nothing to concern yourself with, just some innocent betting," he muttered hastily, not meeting my eyes.

"Really, and what would these people be betting on?" I smirked as he started fidgeting. "Don't make me force you," I grinned as he swallowed nervously.

"A fight between Garrus and Thane," he grumbled.

"I don't think so! We have a fucking mission to do in the morning and they were supposed to go with me." I growled. "I would add another option to your betting pool; me versus Garrus _and_ Thane. Make sure you put your money on me."

"I think that’s a bet I would take," he grinned and winked at me.

I stormed out of the Mess Hall with the others following me. I marched through the doors, straight to the men fighting on the mats. They were well into the fight. Garrus had a bleeding jaw, while Thane sported a cut to his arms from claws. He wasn't wearing his usual leathers, and Garrus was in regular clothes, as well. I watched them for a few moments. I could see that Thane was holding himself back **,** which was good. I knew just from his dossier that he would have been able to take Garrus out with a few precise hits. He was trained for it, whereas Garrus wasn't. He didn't have the agility that Thane could boast of. Nor did he have the experience to know the sensitive areas on other races.

I walked to the edge of the mat, waiting for a break in the fight, a time I could intercede without either of them getting harmed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw more money pass hands.

"Enough, the both of you!" I demanded, but they didn't seem to hear me. Thane ducked a blow going for his head. He came up under Garrus guard and hit him in the stomach. Garrus retaliated by hitting him in the chest. A solid punch that could be heard and made the Drell take a step back. I watched Thane and wondered why he was holding back. It didn't seem like him. I knew he could take Garrus out quickly without a problem. He was trained for that.

With a growl of anger and frustration, I stepped into the ring and kicked out, catching Thane in the back of his leg just behind his knee, knocking him to the ground. He glanced up at me shocked, and there was a smile in his eyes that I didn't understand. With a shrug, I ignored him and turned to the Garrus.

I hit Garrus in the soft plating that adorned his stomach. He grunted, moving away and clutching his middle. "I said enough! We have a fucking mission tomorrow and I need the both of you in proper shape for it!" I stormed, pacing the mat. My hand was at my side, ready to step in again if needed. Thane stayed on the ground, staring up at me with calm eyes. Garrus wouldn't meet my eyes at all.

"The both of you go see the doc and get patched up. If you are not fit by morning you're staying on the ship and I'm taking another team with me," I snarled, glaring at the both of them before I marched out of the Cargo Bay.

**Thane's point of view**

We all watched her walk out, the crowd dissipating behind her. I sighed in regret, knowing this had been a bad idea. I had known something like this would happen; that it was inadvisable to fight before a mission, though Turians looked at it differently.

Garrus stared at the door with unease, his gaze flicked to me for a moment. "We should go see the doc," he muttered, walking out of the door. I stayed there, clearing my mind of all thoughts, relaxing my body as I took deep, even breaths. I allowed myself to flash over everything that had happened on the ship since I came on board, focusing mainly on Shepard.

The reason I put myself through this torture was to learn more about her. It was the best way I had to process information and it worked. She was hard person to read. Feelings were constantly flowing through her eyes, but those were only the surface emotions; what she allowed everyone to see. I knew there was so much more to her that she wouldn't reveal. She was an enigma, one that I planned on figuring out. There was something she was hiding deep within her and it concerned me.

With a sigh I rose to my feet, heading to the med bay. Garrus was sitting on one of the gurneys, a scowl on his face. I took the gurneythe doctor pointed out to me with a shake of her head. She turned her attention to Garrus with her hands on her hips. "You of all people should have known how she would react, especially when there is a mission coming up that involves the Geth," she reprimanded him.

"And you, being an assassin, you should have known better," she spat, glaring at the both of us. "The both of you better hope those cuts heal before morning or she won't be taking you," she stated harshly, tossing us some medigel.

"Where is she now?" Garrus asked quietly.

"She probably returned to the scene of your current crime to work off her anger," Chakwas smirked. "She can't use her own sparring area as Miranda already warned her they won't be repairing it again."

"I should go and talk to her," he shrugged.

"Then I'll be seeing you sooner than I thought," she shook her head, walking away from us toward the computer. I followed Garrus towards the Cargo Bay.Neither of us said a word.

She was there, just as Chakwas predicted, with thick boards inserted in holders around the room. She was using them as opponents, hitting the boards full force, kicking out at them. She was good, graceful; she knew exactly where to hit how to hit for maximum damage. She didn't flinch when her leg connected with a board **,** when most would have felt pain. "She still has it," Garrus murmured, admiring her.

I waited for him to continue, and it didn't take long. "When I first met her, her weapons skills were spotty at best. But when it came to fighting - it was like a dance. She would go into a fight with fists and come out the winner, though when it came to using her guns, she often lost. It took me months to teach her how to shoot expertly while we were chasing after Saren. She would practice every spare moment she had until she got as good as you have recently witnessed," he spoke with a longing that shocked me. His emotions were plain to see at that moment. He loved her, whether he knew it or not.

We stood there watching her until her movements slowed and she sat on the mat with her head buried in her arms. I felt something then; I wanted to go to her and hold her. It hurt to see this strong woman reduced to this. She wasn't crying, but something had upset her greatly.

With a growl of frustration, she jumped to her feet and kicked out with a twist, her foot going through the board, breaking it in half. It hadn't been a thin board; this would have taken strength and knowledge and she had that. She turned away from the board, her head bowed for a moment before she looked at us squarely. For the first time I saw true shock in her eyes; she hadn't known we were there.

"Is there something I can do for the two of you?" she asked calmly, recovering from the shock quickly.

I didn't say a word as Garrus turned and left, his shoulders slumped. She watched him leave with a remorseful look before turning her hardened gaze to me. "What is it, Thane?" she asked quietly.

"I came to apologize for my behavior earlier," I murmured, meeting her eyes squarely.

"Why were the two of you fighting?" she asked, giving me a curious look.

"That would be better left unsaid," I muttered as she walked up to me.

"Hmm, I just bet. If you aren't going to tell me, I'll find out another way," she grinned slightly, the challenge clear in her eyes.

"Then I shall leave you to your hunting," I bowed, turning to leave. Suddenly, she grasped my hand, stopping me. A shock ran up my arm at her touch and I smothered a gasp. She turned me toward her, her look intent as I waited for her to speak.

"Why are you Garrus always so competitive with each other?" she asked softly, not letting my hand go. I don't think she realized that she still held it.

"That is a discussion for another time," I murmured, taking her other hand into mine. She looked at me startled, but didn't pull away. I moved closer to her, the clean scent of her hair surrounding us. She didn't back away or protest at my touch, even though I was arguing with myself. However, the part she had awaken, the primitive part of myself, wanted this.

I leaned down, brushing my lips across hers; not asking nor giving more yet, just feeling her moist lips against mine. I freed one hand, tangling it through her soft hair, enjoying the feelof it and her sweet taste on my lips. I deepened the kiss, asking for more and she granted it hesitantly.

At first I thought she might pull away, but then she met my tongue with her own, taking as well as giving. Our tongues danced until I pulled back, just enough that our lips parted and her panting breath fanned my face. I backed away after a moment and she stared up at me with a searching look.

"I should go, I need to think," she muttered, taking her hand out of mine gently as I dropped both of mine to my side. She stopped at the door and turned to me with an open look, her emotions plain. She was showing me something that she usually kept hidden away from everyone. "You were never part of my plan. Before you came on board I had feelings for Garrus, but now I'm not sure what's going on. You've changed my outlook on some things from your visits. I would be lying to say that I wasn't attracted to you, and I would be lying to myself if I said there was nothing there, but I need time to think this through," she stated softly. She wasn't running or hiding, she needed time. She had been up front with me, but could I be the same with her, open myself like that? I thought about it for a moment and realized that I couldn't, not yet.

"When you are ready, you know where to find me," I said, bowing to her. "You should know that I am not giving up that easily, even if you do have feelings for Garrus."

She smiled and replied, "so noted, but give me time before we take this even further. There are things from my past that make me ask that." I watched her as she walked out and the door closed behind her.

"Garrus isn't going to like that," Grunt laughed from behind me. I had forgotten that he was there. I turned to him, about to say something, but he stopped me with a shake of his head. "Things on this ship has just become interesting. I'm placing my bets on you… for now," he grinned. I left the Cargo Bay in a lighter mood as I headed back to Life Support.

I sat in my chair closing my eyes, remembering the taste of her. I let my body relax and meditated without having to force myself. For the first time since I boarded this ship, meditation came easily.


	6. Chapter 6

_Running, screaming, and the smell of blood coming from everywhere, surrounding me like a shroud. Children crying out for their parentsas fear fill the air. Parents begging to unseen people, pleading for their lives and the lives of their children._

_I hid in the cubbyhole that my parents had shoved me into. I cried, pleaded, begged to stay with them, but they said no. Darkness from the hiding spot enveloped me, holding me close in its cold embrace. I could hear my parents voices nearby; they had hidden themselves, as well._

_People came, the door banged open and silence descended on our small home. Objects were tossed around, shoved to the side recklessly as they searched each room. One drew near my hideout, and I slapped a hand over my mouth to muffle my cry of alarm._

_He moved away after a few moments and I sighed in relief. A scream split the air, along with shouted threats. My parents' voices washed over me, sending fear spiking through me. I moved silently towards the opening in the cubby hole. My parents stood there fearfully as men surrounded them. My father held my mother close, keeping her away from the intruders. A soft smile curved my lips now that I knew we were safe. My father was here and he would protect us. Things would be back to normal soon._

_They grabbed for my mother, but my father growled something at them. Harsh words that I didn't understand. Several of the intruders snatched my mother, while two others held my father tightly so he couldn't escape. They tossed my mother onto the floor and did things that made her cry out in pain and fear. My father was cursing and swearing as they held him._

_They let him go when they were finished hurting my mother. She lay there not moving; she was curled up into a ball with her skirt missing. I didn't understand what was happening, it made no sense to me. My father rushed to her side as they laughed at him. He held her limp body close to him as he wept._

_I knew then that my father wouldn't be able to protect us._

_I tore my eyes off of him and looked at the other men; they were laughing cruelly at him. He didn't notice. He never even looked up as one of the intruders raised a gun and shot him._

_A cry escaped my mouth as I moved as far back in the cubbyhole as I could go. I listened as heavy footsteps moved towards me. Harsh, ugly voices neared my hiding spot._

_"I thought you checked here?" one of the men said to another._

_"I did," the other snapped belligerently._

_I closed my eyes, praying this was all a bad dream. I didn’t want to be here; I wanted to be far away, somewhere safe._

_Rough, callused hands grabbed me and dragged me out of my hiding spot. "Look what we have here. She will bring a good price," the man holding me said, laughing cruelly._

_"Do we get to test her?" another voice interrupted. His words sent a wave of foreboding down my spine._

_"No! We need her unharmed for a good price," the first man growled angrily. Relief washed through me at his words. "Keep an eye on her until I get back. I want to check on the others," he ordered, leaving me alone with the man that had sent fear racing through me with his words._

_The leader's steps receded, along with the others that were there. My eyes were glued to my father as he lay there, his dark eyes open, devoid of life. Tears blurred my vision as I tried to crawl to his body._

_"Where do you think you are going?" my captor asked. He was the only one left with me._

_"I want to see my papa," I cried, trying once again to move towards him. I wanted to hear him talk and reassure me that everything was going to be fine._

_"No, I don't think so," he growled, picking me up from the ground and sitting me on his lap. He petted my hair softly. My body shook in fear as he brushed kisses across my face. I wanted to run, to hide again and this time I would be very quiet._

I awoke, gasping for air as a cry escaped my lips. My sheets were soaked, as was my body. Tears soaked my cheeks, blurring my vision. A sob caught in my chest, and I found that I couldn't breathe. _Three days with that man before I was saved. Three days of pain and other things. Three days of nightmares that still haunt my dreams._

I knew why I was having this dream; why it had been coming for the past few days. I told Thane there were problems in my past. I should have known that admitting the problem would bring the dreams. I wish I could remove those memories, but I knew that wasn't possible.

I got dressed and went to the Mess Hall, just to be around people. My mind was still in a fog from the nightmare. It would take me days to get rid of the memories. Days that I didn’t have; there was too much going on. Thane wanted me to help him with his son. Garrus wanted me to help him with Sidonis. Luckily they were both at the Citadel, that way the others could take shore leave and I would help them.

Jack's mission had been fun, blowing up the Cerberus facility where she was raised. I grinned as I thought of it. Miranda had been pissed, but that wasn't unexpected. They had started arguing and I had been forced to step in and settle the disagreement. A few choice words for both of them and everything was calm again.

Tali was sitting alone at a table, looking bored. She'd only been on the ship for two days. We had rescued her from Haestrom, a planet whose sun was aging prematurely. It had been an interesting mission and not the easiest one, either. No, not easy at all. Thane had been injured; he was still in medbay, recovering. One of the Geth caught us unaware as we rounded a corner to get out of the sun where we would be safe. He had been shot in the chest at close range.

The round had torn through his shields like they were nothing, and then tore through him. Doc said he would recover, but it would be a few days before he was allowed to leave medbay.

I sighed, glancing at the medbay doors, worried about him. "How is he?" Tali asked, nodding toward the same doors that held my focus.

"I don't know, I haven’t checked on him today," I muttered. This had been my first day away from him since the injury.

"You were there all day yesterday and the day before. You even spent the night there," she chuckled. "I have to tell you; you have one very irate Turian on your crew at the moment."

"Yeah I know, and I don't know what to do," I sighed mournfully.

"Well you sure are making everyone guess," she replied. "If you're asking me for my opinion, I would say go with Garrus. The two of you always had something special. Even on the old Normandy there was something, some spark between you."

I looked at her, shocked. On the old Normandy there had been interest, but it was nothing more than that. I didn't know what she was talking about. "I don't know, Tali. I'm still trying to sort through all this," I smiled wanly.

"Well, I would suggest you talk to Garrus before he tears apart the Main Battery," she said casually. I could hear her laughter through her mask; she was enjoying this all too much for my liking.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to talk with him," I sighed once again, rising from the table.

I found him in his usual hiding spot, the Main Battery. He was checking out calibrations for the new cannons that we would be installing soon. "Garrus, do you have a minute?" I asked quietly.

"Sure," he said and turned to me as I took a seat on some crates.

"So, do you really want Sidonis dead?" I asked. I had to make sure. The Garrus I knew from the original Normandy would have questioned such a harsh action, but the Garrus I recruited on Omega seemed to have hardened quite a bit, for which I was grateful. And this was the best opportunity to distract myself from my own problems.

"Why? Are you thinking about not helping me?" he asked guardedly.

"Of course not! It's just not like you to want revenge; that's usually my department," I smirked. "If you want revenge and are very sure about it, then I am more than willing to help."

"That what I thought you would say. You were the one who taught me that sometimes revenge is necessary, depending on the situation," he nodded with a smile.

"Fine. You will get your revenge, but I hope it doesn’t change you too much," I warned him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, giving me a curious look.

"Make sure it doesn’t make you harder than you already are or you won't be the same person I knew. I don't want you to be like me, harsh and cold," I told him quietly.

"Who harmed you to make you this way?" he asked, leaning back against the console, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes full of concern. I watched him for a few moments, wondering what I should say. Do I trust him enough to tell the whole truth or do I remain evasive?

"Slavers from Mindoir," I murmured, so quietly that I wasn't sure if he heard me. I was shocked that I had said that. "They took my childhood away from me," I continued, and a part of me was relieved that I actually told him. I stood there, looking down at the ground; my arms crossed over my chest, holding myself, feeling exposed, raw.

That day flashed before my eyesand a tear ran down my cheek without me even realizing it. I stared at the floor remembering, aching inside where no one could see.

Solid arms surrounded me, but not the brutal ones that held me then. These were offering comfort, which I gladly accepted. I didn’t cry, or sob, but I leaned on him, letting him help me through the memories just with his presence. His arms were a comfort; the cold feeling of his armor was actually soothing. The feel of his face lightly resting on top of my head cleared my mind from those memories. I didn’t pull back, nor did I push him away. I didn't want to; I needed someone there at the moment to help me regain control.

I wrapped my arms around his narrow waist, clinging to him as his arms tightened around me. "Those were the same slavers that you went after before joining the Alliance?" he asked quietly.

I tilted my head back so I could look at him. His blue eyes were watching me; there was a look in them that I didn't understand. "Yeah, they were the same ones. When I learned enough in training, I hunted them down and killed them," I whispered.

He bowed his head, resting his forehead against mine. I could smell hints of something spicy and musky. I didn’t think anything of it. I reached up with one hand, running it light along his scarred cheek. He didn't pull back as I feared he would. He rubbed his cheek against my hand and purred. That was the only thing I could call it. It reminded me of a cat's purr. Not a house cat, but a lion; deep and rumbling.

Heleaned forward, one hand lacing through my hair, tilting my head back further. He took in my scent, and a low rumble reverberated through him as he lowered his face toward mine. I wasn't sure what to do; Turians don't have lips as humans do. Our faces were breaths apart when I felt his long, slender tongue brush across my lips. It wasn't like I imagined, smooth like a human's; his was rough and flexible. I opened my mouth, wanting to taste him. He groaned as our tongues met and tangled together. The roughness of his tongue sent shivers down my spine, and I moaned softly.

His grip on me tightened, pulling me closer as he turned us. He pressed me against the console, nipping his way down the side of my neck. His tongue followed the same trail, soothing each place he nipped. I sighed, running my hand down his fringe; he groaned, lifting me so that I was perched on the edge of the console and moved between my legs, not quite touching the area I so desperately needed him to. His hand roamed across my body. I gasped when he passed over my breast, arching into his taloned hand. He moved his hand across them hesitantly again and I moaned. His hesitancy disappeared as he ran his talon over the nub that was now protruding and I cried out, writhing under his touch.

His face was buried in my hair, his sharp teeth nipping my throat as his other hand finally wandered where I wanted it most. His fingers barely brushed me, but that one hesitant touch shot through me. I arched, throwing my head back and crying out. He hesitated, "you're damp," he murmured uncertainly. _If he would go beneath my clothes he would find that I was a lot more that damp,_ I snickered to myself.

"That's normal," I mumbled, but he didn't continue as I wished him to. To my disappointment, he removed his hands from me. I glanced up, meeting his eyes, and he looked at me, confusion evident on his features.

"Um, I think we should wait. I need to find some information on this…" he muttered, trailing off uncomfortably.

"I suppose I should go," I murmured, hopping off the console and quickly exiting the room, not looking back.

In a sexual high daze, I headed for the elevator, ignoring everyone along the way. The base of my neck ached and I reached up to find a little bit of blood on my finger tips. I wasn't shocked; I figured if I sleptwith Garrus there would be bruises and cuts. It was inevitable with those teeth or talons. I knew he would try and be as careful as possible.

The elevator doors swished open before me and I stepped in, ignoring the other passenger who entered with me. At the moment I didn't care who it was; they weren't crowding me and I could relax in my haze. I caught Thane's scent but knew it wasn't him; he was still trapped in medbay. Coming down from my sexual high, realization of what I just did and how I just complicated my life even more hit me. How can I be having these feelings for two different people? I didn't understand it, especially given my history.

I enjoyed Thane's company, his subtle humor. He was good looking, even by human standards. He was always ready to listen to my problems, if I would only open up. He had hinted on many occasions, but I had remained distant. It wasn't because I didn't trust him; it was because it was too hard.

Garrus, was a lot like me, but he had a bashful side that I enjoyed. He always treated me with respect, but always as a friend. He never made me feel remorseful for any decision that I made, unlike Kaidan. He had a sense of humor that always lightened my mood. He could read me so well at times that it was unnerving. Actually, both of them were becoming exceptionally good at reading my moods.

I didn't know what to do now, especially after what happened in the Main Battery. I leaned my head back against the wall with a sigh, my eyes closed, waiting for the doors to open to my quarters. The doors opened and I walked out, not even acknowledging the elevator's other occupant.

I moved around the room languidly; letting my hair downand grabbing a change of clothes, so I could hit the mats and work off some of my frustration. My skin prickled as I moved. My fogged brain cleared and my body went on alert. I was being watched.

I turned around slowly, my hands at the ready just in case and gaped. Thane stood there, his right hand still bandaged. I could see white from beneath his vest where more bandages were. "I was wondering how long it would take you to notice. You seem preoccupied," he murmured with a small smile as he moved toward the couch gracefully, as though he hadn't been injured. I was astonished seeing him out of the medbay already. The doc had told me it would be days more before he would be able to move around without discomfort.

"Is there something you want?" I asked, keeping my voice devoid of emotion. I was distancing myself; I had to at the moment. I met his unblinking gaze with my own, the shock of seeing him moving around ebbing away.

"I was told that you didn't leave medbay for two days," he stated with a searching look. My eyes dropped away from his and I focused on the ground. I didn't answer; what could I say?

That I had chosen Garrus? I could say it, but that would be a lie. I wanted them both, but that would never happen. They would kill each other.

Another alarming thought came to me, did he know everything? I wasn't sure if he did. That reminded me that I still needed to talk with Mordin. He was supposed to have a report for me today regarding Thane's disease.

"Mordin told me something interesting," he trailed off. I raised my eyes to his, unflinching.

"And?" I asked, feigning ignorance. That was the best I could do at the moment. I feared his reaction.

"Why would you do this?" he asked softly.

Why? Good question. I didn't want him to die. That was the simplest answer, but at the time I'd made the decision I hadn't been thinking properly. My only thought was 'Thane's hurt, and he was hit in the lungs. The worst place for him.' Then my next step was to see if there was a cure for Kepral's Syndrome, even though Thane said there wasn't.

"That I won't answer," I told him truthfully. A smirk quirked his lips as he rose from the couch, walking over to me with a look of determination. I swallowed nervously as he neared, not sure what I should do. I couldn't bring myself to ask him to leave.

"Shepard, are you feeling alright?" he asked, his gaze turning concerned.

"Yes, why?" I looked at him confusedly.

"You have a rash," he murmured, tracing a finger along my mouth. I flinched from his touch, feeling guilty. He pinned me with a penetrating gaze and lean forward. I knew exactly what he would smell and I waited for the hurt to appear in his eyes, but it didn't come. Anger entered his eyes for a moment before the emotions dissolved into something else that I couldn't define.

Without a hint of his movement, he pinned me against the fish tank, my hands above my head. I gasped and he took advantage, devouring my mouth. I melted against him, reveling in his exotic taste. My head started feeling light; distantly I could hear music, but I was sure I hadn't turned it on. My head was buzzing, like a whole bunch of insects were flying around inside my skull.

I slowly opened up my eyes and stared at Thane. His green skin was shimmering, making it appear almost ethereal. He moved his hand to my face and I watched it, fascinated.

**Thane's point of view**

I looked down her and she appeared dazed. She smiled, but I could see there was something very wrong with her. "Shepard?" I called sharply to her.

She didn't say a word but laughed giddily. I groaned as it dawned on me what had happened. I swore profusely at my stupidity. She was hallucinating because I didn't bother to ask if she had any affects the last time I kissed her. She probably didn't; the contact wasn't long enough.

I lifted her in my arms, carrying her to the medbay, praying that no one would be around to see us like this. I knew it was wishful thinking and I would probably have to answer a lot of questions.

I walked onto the CIC deck with Shepard in my arms and she was mumbling things that I wasn't paying attention to. My focus was on the Turian that was stalking towards us;he appeared angrier with each step. I knew I could protect myself if I didn't have her in my arms, but she changed the odds.

"What the hell is wrong with her?" he shouted, catching everyone's attention.

She ran her hand along my face, commenting on how smooth it was. Usually I would be smirking at the compliment, especially given in front of Garrus, but right now it worrisome. Garrus' eyes blazed with rage as glared at me. I worried for a moment that I would have a fight on my hands but he didn't seem to want to endanger Shepard.

With a wary eye on him, I walked into Mordin's office and hoped he would have something to help her out. Garrus followed me inside, breathing down my neck as I set her on one of the tables. Mordin came right over with his scanner, taking readings of her.

"Rash, hallucinations, delirium. Hormone levels high, rise in body temperature, dilated eyes, rapid breathing," he said quickly, lifting his gaze to stare pointedly at both Garrus and myself. "Allergic reaction to both Turian and Drell saliva." He smirked, "Shepard has been busy."

"Can you do something about this?" we both growled at him.

"Yes, easy fix," he muttered, giving her two pills with a sly smile and rubbing some ointment on her lips. "Should be better in a few moments," he stated and then turned his attention toward us. I didn't like the look in his eyes.

We both looked at him nervously as he punched a few keys on his omnitool, "Am sending instructional information to you both; positions, erogenous zones, reactions to certain stimuli," he explained, transferring the data to both our omnitools. "Now, it's time for the both of you to leave," he said and made a shooing motion as we both glared at him.

**Shepard's point of view**

My mind slowly cleared as the pills that Mordin gave me took effect. I vaguely heard him speaking to someone else. I turned my head to see both Garrus and Thane standing there, glowering at Mordin. I wanted to bury myself in embarrassment as my behavior over the past hour came back to me in great detail.

That so was not like me and I still didn't understand why I was behaving this way. I sighed in relief as the two men left, the door closing behind them. Mordin turned his focus on me. "How are you feeling, Shepard?" he asked, smiling gently.

"Better, but what happened?" I asked him quietly.

"Bad reaction to Turian and Drell saliva," he stated with a smile.

"What were those pills you gave me?" I asked.

"Nothing dangerous. Will help your body build up immunity to their saliva," he nodded.

"Both of them?" I asked curiously. He didn't answer, merely stared at me with an amused expression.

"I think I'm going to my quarters and rest," I muttered, hopping off the table a bit unsteadily.

"Rest, rest is good. Would suggest no more intake of saliva tonight. Wait until body builds immunity," he stated.

"I'll try my best," I muttered dryly.

"Oh! Have information you may find useful. Videos on intimacies between human and Turian and also human and Drell. Positions, erotic spots, do and don'ts, possible side effects," he rattled off. I felt my cheeks heat up and I wouldn't meet his gaze as his words sunk in.

Without another word I started heading out of the lab, but he stopped me before I could make a clean get away. "Shepard, before you go, I would speak with you tomorrow on Thane's condition," he said seriously.

"Sure, Mordin," I mumbled, walking out of the lab.

I didn’t bother looking at the shocked faces that I could feel staring at me. The 'The Hero of the Citadel' reduced to a bumbling idiot, drugged from kissing a Drell. I would be laughing if I wasn't so humiliated.

The soft hum of the elevator was soothing; it meant I would be in the privacy of my room soon. Well away from those curious stares. The doors opened and I gasped. Garrus was sitting on my couch with his hands folded in his lap, leaning forward intently. His eyes were searching, and the tension in the room was unbearable, but I couldn't bring myself to start this particular conversation.

I hated the fact that two men had shown interest in me and I wanted them both. I leaned back against the fish tank, a big mistake; flashes of what happened between Thane and I flitted through my mind. _Damn, even my quarters weren't safe anymore,_ I thought mournfully.

Garrus walked over to me with a determined look in his eyes. I swallowed nervously as he neared. No words were spokenas he stood in front of me. I looked down at my feet, unable to meet his eyes. One taloned hand raised my face to his. I was prepared for anger or hurt, but what he did was more shocking than anything I had imagined.

He lightly licked my lips and I opened them for him, meeting his tongue with mine. "I'm not leaving," he murmured before nipping me along my neck. A thrill of pleasure raced through my body at his words.


	7. Chapter 7

He walked me backwards toward the bed, his talons making short work of my shirt. His rough tongue made a path over the skin he revealed, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I shivered with anticipation as he worked his way lower, my heart pounding as he brushed his mandibles over the top of my breasts.

Teasingly, he lifted his head from my chest, chuckling at my groan of protest. I was on the verge of begging him to stop his torture; to give me what I had dreamed of for so long.

I sucked in a sharp breath as his tongue finally lapped over my hardened nub. I ran my hand over his fringe, trying to draw him closer, firmer against me. He groaned, nipping at my skin; a shiver racing through his body as I passed over his fringe once more.

His other hand found its way down to my center. Removing my clothes deftly, a firm scaled hand slipped beneath my underwear. Carefully, he slipped the pads of his fingers between my lips to my moist heat. I gasped for breath as he gently stroked me.

I was dizzy with desire, yet something was wrong. My skin began to burn and itch, bringing me out of my lust-filled haze. The longer he continued, the more my skin burned and not in the good way, either. My first reaction was to stop him, but I _so_ did not want him to stop.

Garrus pulled away, realizing that something had changed. He stared at me with heated eyes. "Shepard?" he asked uncertainly, giving me a searching look. I was about to say something, but his eyes widened ominously, and I knew there was no need to explain. He trailed a talon along my burning skin, causing me to flinch.

"It looks like you might have to see Mordin again, you're having a reaction," he muttered.

Damn, not what I wanted to hear. I really didn't want to see Mordin, not after he already gave me a warning. "I'll see him later," I sighed. _A lot later, like maybe never,_ I thought to myself.

"I don't think it’s a good idea that I stay here until you talk with Mordin," he mumbled as he beat a hasty retreat out of my quarters. I glared at the door as it closed behind him. I knew he was just looking out for my benefit, but damn this allergy to hell and back.

I swore profusely, staring at my bed. It was the one place I wanted to be at the moment, but not alone. I knew sleep would be elusive now. My body still hummed with unfulfilled desire that wouldn't be quenched tonight.

                                                                                                ~ooo~

I stared at the clock; the hours had passed so slowly last night that I was on edge. Now the day shift was on, and I knew rumors would be flying after my rather embarrassing visit to Mordin's.

I thought about staying in my quarters and only leaving when we docked at the Citadel, but that would be childish. With a long suffering sigh I left my cabin, ready to start the day. I didn't bother stopping for something to eat, I wasn't in the mood at the moment. My body still burned and itched, and I knew I had no choice but to see Mordin right away.

I walked into his lab. He was working on something, taking notes as he checked the information over again. I listened as he talked to himself, but none of it made sense to me. "Mordin, can I get that pill again?" I asked sheepishly.

He glanced up, his eyes widening as he came around his lab table, walking over to me. "Turian, lot of saliva used this time. Told you not to trade saliva with Drell and Turian," he reprimanded, shaking his head.

"Yeah, well, easier said than done," I muttered, not meeting his eyes.

"Yes, can see that. Humans have high sex drive; also Turians and Drells. Situation problematic. Remove shirt so I can apply cream," he smirked.

"What? Remove my shirt? Can't you just give me a pill or something?" I demanded.

"No, pill won't work on rash, need cream. Pills are for building immunity to Drell and Turian saliva. You will be taking them in a moment," he shrugged. "Remove shirt."

"So, Mordin," I began cautiously, "do you think you could give me some of that cream to keep with me, in case I need to apply it somewhere I would rather not show you?"

His eyes widened, and a smile twitched on his lips, "After I am done, you can take cream to your room and keep it there. Have more if you need it." He chuckled as he walked over to the table, grabbing a few packets of cream.

"Would be best if you did that area yourself; wouldn't want to give Turian and Drell the wrong idea," he laughed. The blush that had been subsiding came back full force.

I rolled my eyes, taking off my shirt for him. I glanced down, the rash covered my breasts and upper chest, and I could still feel the path Garrus had taken. "Make sure cream is not ingested, not healthy," Mordin smiled.

"Um, then I need to make sure Garrus is fine. He must of ingested some of this last night," I sighed.

"Garrus is fine now, has learned his lesson. Came in last night with reaction to cream," he stated, and I could see in his eyes that he was trying to hold back his laughter.

"How long will it take for the rash to disappear?" I asked him, eager to leave.

"In a few moments the rash will fade, but still dangerous to ingest. I would say give pill a couple of days to work," he stated adamantly.

"And if something happens before then?" I asked him. I was hoping there was a different solution because something told me that _oops_ was going to happen.

He sighed, moving over to a cabinet next to his desk. "Humans make it so hard. Here, if activities should occur before immunity pills have a chance to work, then use these. They will stop rashes and hallucinations," he said and passed me a bottle with a few tablets in it. "Only take one a day until done. Come back when bottle is finished."

"Thanks Mordin," I smiled as I headed for the door.

"Shepard, come back later. Will have more information on Thane's disease," he said casually as he went back to work.

I went down to the Mess Hall where I could get something to eat.My stomach was protesting at my recent neglect. It seemed many people had the same idea. "So, Gardener, what are we having today?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"Commander, don't ask. You don't want to know," Jacob muttered from behind me.

"That bad, huh?" I grinned. He didn't need to answer; his expression said enough.

"Here you go, Commander," Gardener said, passing me a plate of something which may have resembled food.

"When we reach the Citadel, make sure you pick up food and supplies for the kitchen," I ordered.

"Will do, Commander," he nodded.

I took a seat at one of the empty tables, glad that I had some peace in which to eat my food. I was only interrupted once when Gardener placed my coffee by my plate. I looked over reports on my datapad.There were several order manifests that had been given to Miranda and she wanted me to look them over. Everything was in order, but I wondered if we had enough funds for all of this. That worried me. I would have to go mining soon to replenish our resources.

I glanced up when someone took a seat next to me. Thane sat there sporting a bruise on his cheek. "Do I even want to ask?" I smirked.

"Nothing to worry about," he grimaced, his fingers tentatively touching the tender spot.

"Uh huh, and what condition is Garrus in?" I smirked, remembering the last fight between the two men.

"He's fine," he shrugged, turning back to his food.

"Why did you hold back so much with him?" I gazed at him curiously.

He glanced up with unfathomable eyes, not answering my question. "It wouldn't have been fair; he doesn't have the training you do. Where did you train?" he asked me curiously. I was shocked that he actually explained his actions to me.

"A place I won't ever return to," I muttered, avoiding his eyes.Thane was simply too perceptive, and this was something I wasn't ready for him to know. It was buried deep in my file; only the top brass was aware of the details.

"We should be docking at the Citadel later today," I told him before leaving. I had suddenly lost my appetite.

I ignored Thane's voice calling me back and went straight to CIC. Joker and EDI were arguing as usual when I entered the cockpit. "How long until we dock?" I asked.

"About 6 hours, maybe a little less," he said, glancing back at me in concern. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just fine," I mumbled before leaving. He didn't need to know that my past had come back to haunt me.

**Garrus point of view**

I stood over by the map, talking to Kelly for a few moments. Shepard stormed onto the CIC deck, her shoulders stiff. Each step showed forced control. She was violence waiting to be set free. Something had obviously happened this morning to set her off and I was worried.

"That is the first time I've seen her that upset," Kelly murmured.

"It's been a while since I saw her like this," I agreed, watching as she spoke to Joker for a moment before marching to the elevator without a second glance to anyone. Kelly didn't say her usual greeting, nor did she tell her that there were messages waiting for her.

"What do you think set her off?" she asked, her normally jovial voice filled with concern.

"Her past, probably," I muttered, more to myself than Kelly.That was a touchy area for Shepard. I was shocked when she told me the little bit she had in the Main Battery. It had thrown me off guard; seeing her in tears had shocked me more than anything else. That was the first time I ever saw her cry. I hoped never to see her that way again.

I followed after her, only having to wait for the elevator for a few moments. I went to check the crew deck first to see if she was there. "You just missed them, Garrus. She and Thane went to his quarters to get ready for sparring," Gardener said with a grin.

I stared in the direction of Life Support. I wasn't sure what I should do. I knew if I were to step in and take Thane's place as her sparring partner, I would get my ass kicked. I wasn't even sure if the assassin was good enough to go up against her in this mood. At the moment I knew she wouldn't be holding back on her punches.

"Garrus, is there something you wanted?" Shepard asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Just making sure everything is alright," I muttered. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Gardener go to EDI, probably setting up bets for this fight.

"Yeah, everything is fine," she said with a cold calm that sent a chill down my spine. I turned to Thane, who was looking at her worriedly. I wondered if he knew what he was up against. I wondered if I should warn him or let him find out on his own. I knew Shepard wouldn't permanently harm him, but she wouldn't be taking it easy, either.

I walked with them onto the elevator, arguing with myself over what I should do. The doors opened and my time had run out. I grabbed the Drell's arm, stopping him from exiting. He turned to me, a confused look on his face. "Be careful and no matter what, don't hold back.She won't," I warned him. He nodded once slowly, his expression guarded. I could see he didn't believe me.

"I think someone may have brought up her past. That is the only time I have ever seen her like this. What she went through back then should be left alone. At the moment she is barely holding her anger in control, so I'm warning you again. Don't hold back!" I stated harshly.

"Why are you telling me this?" he asked.

"Because she would never forgive herself if she seriously harmed you and there is a great chance for that." I told him bluntly. I wasn't doing this for him; I kept telling myself that.

Over the last several days, even thought Shepard was a contention with us, I had grown to like the guy. If I was going to lose Shepard to another man, I would want it to be him. Though I would never say that out loud, even under torture.

He gave a brief nod and walked into the Cargo Bay. After a few moments I followed, standing off to the side as they stretched out their muscles before the match. Slowly people wandered in, silent as they waited. Tali moved up beside me, looking worried.

"Have you ever seen Shepard when she doesn't hold back?" she asked quietly.

"Once and it was only for a few moments," I told her.

"Do you know what put her in this mood?" she asked.

"I have an idea, but I don't know for sure," I muttered.

"So, now might not be the best time to pass on the message Kelly gave me for Shepard, huh?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, what message was that?" I asked, watching the Shepard and Thane circle each other on the floor mats.

"It was from Mindoir, someone named Sancta stated he needs Shepard's help," her voice grew softer as the two on the pads began fighting. Thane followed my advice and didn't hold back. Shepard grinned and threw herself into the fight. They were fast, I couldn't follow some of the moves. The murmuring that had started when Tali and I had been talking stopped.

Though numerous kicks and punches were thrown, neither Thane nor Shepard were able to break through their opponent's guard. They didn't use biotics on each other. I was amazed at what I was seeing, I had never seen her fight like this. It was as though the two of them were engaging in a deadly dance; as soon as one of those blows landed, we would know who the winner was. They both moved with speed and grace, each anticipating the other's moves, countering each attack.

Shepard dodged an incoming punch, but didn't avoid Thane's foot sweep, and she landed on her back. Thane had her pinned in moments. After a good hour of fighting the match was finally over, or so I thought until I saw Thane flying from atop Shepard to land on his back. She had kicked out brutally, her eyes wild. This wasn't the Shepard I knew. Something was very wrong.

She was panting hard as she stalked the Drell, who watched her as a prey would a predator. Shepard went in for another attack; Thane moved out of the way quickly, avoiding the kick. Shepard followed him with cold, hard eyes.

"She is having a flash back, we need to stop her," Jack stated harshly, coming up to stand beside me.

"What?" I asked, unsure what Jack meant. She glared at me, muttering some profanities under her breath.

"She's having a flash back, she will kill him. He did something to set it off. She's not looking at Thane, she's looking at someone else!" she hissed. "Go and fucking stop her!"

I moved quickly, with Jack following closely. Jack used her biotics, pushing Shepard into my arms. I held her tightly as she struggled against me.When she stopped fighting, I gently laid her on the ground and turned to Thane.

"Do you know what happened?" I asked him.

"It happened when I pinned her arms, something changed in her eyes," he panted.

"Someone get Mordin down here," I yelled. Tali had EDI contact Mordin. Shepard laid on the ground, fear burning brightly in her eyes as she stared at nothing. This was the first time I had ever seen her like this. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

Mordin came in, took one look at Shepard and injected her with something. Within seconds, her eyes closed. "You can let her go. Take her to her quarters, she will be sleeping for an hour or more," he said quickly.

I picked her up and walked out of the Cargo Bay, everyone else had already left. "What happened to her to cause such a reaction?" Thane asked as I laid her down on her bed.

"She lived on Mindoir. When she was just a little girl, Batarian slavers came, killing and abducting her people. When she was sixteen, she went hunting for those same people. She took them out, killing all of them and then she joined the Alliance. That’s all I know. I've tried a few times to get her to talk and only once has she told me anything specific. What happened to her there shouldn't have happened to any child," I told him, shaking my head. That much I had figured out with what she told me in the Main Battery. I gave him a pointed look so he didn't misunderstand.

"How old was she?" he asked quietly.

"Six, I think. She might have been older, I'm not sure," I shrugged. I was uncomfortable talking about this without her permission. We sat on the couch in a strained silence, neither of us unsure what to say. We were both worried about Shepard.

"Her memory must have been triggered when I pinned her arms and she couldn't move," he muttered sadly.

"She has had her arms pinned before and never lost it," I told him.

"I know, but those times weren't in a fight; this time it was," he said pointedly. His gaze was still firmly on Shepard, his eyes actually softening. Damn, he cared for her as much as I did. That created problems. I wanted to hate him, but couldn't. He always thought of Shepard first and that I couldn't hate.

"Garrus, let Shepard know that we will be landing at the Citadel in a few moments," Joker said over the com.

"Once the ship lands, let everyone know they are on shore leave for three days," I ordered. I set the plans Shepard had into motion.

"Did you want to go after your son?" I asked Thane.

"I might have to do it on my own now. She may not be awake by then," Thane sighed.

"No, I'll give you a hand if she can't," I shrugged.

"Give him a hand with what?" Shepard asked groggily from the bed.

"Help with his son. We weren't sure if you would be awake in time," I shrugged, a blush starting on my cheeks. I only hoped she didn't notice.

"No, I'll help him look after Kolyat. Let me grab a shower and we can head out when we dock," Shepard mumbled, walking toward the bathroom.

"Why would you offer to help me?" Thane asked, giving me a searching look.

"Don't ask. But it doesn't mean I'm backing off, assassin," I smirked.

"I never thought you were backing off, but I thank you for the information," he said with a small bow.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Shepard's point of view**

Thane's mission was easy, in a way. All he wanted me to do was follow the political candidate that his son was planning to assassinate. It became more complicated after we stopped his son. I worried for them both. Kolyat harbored so much anger toward Thane that I wasn't sure if he would open up before Thane's time ran out.

We were waiting in the C-Sec office as Thane talked with his son in one of the interrogation rooms. They had been in there for quite a while and I hoped that they made some head way during that time.

Thane came out looking tired, stressed. I wanted to go to him, ease some of the tension I saw on his face, but I knew that would only cause trouble with his son. Instead, while he had been meeting with Kolyat, I had made sure that the young man wouldn't see the inside of a prison. It was the least I could do for Thane.

Thane heard me speaking with Bailey and came over to me, taking my hands into his, kissing them lightly in gratitude. At that very moment, Kolyat came out of the room seeing Thane's actions toward me. Anger and betrayal shone bright in his eyes as he glared at the both of us, turning quickly around and walking back into the interrogation room. I didn't blame him for his response.

"You should go help Garrus, I'll talk with him," Thane said quietly, staring at the door. I could see the uncertainty on his face.

"Are you sure?" I asked, placing a consoling hand on his arm. He blinked both set of eyelids slowly and nodded.

I turned to Garrus. "Are you ready?" I asked.

"Sure, lets get this done," Garrus muttered.

The two missions couldn't have been more different in terms of fighting. However, the emotional toll was high in both.

Garrus got his revenge on Sidonis, but he wasn't happy about it. Even after shooting the man who killed his team, he still felt hollow. I could have told him that revenge doesn't give you the closure you're looking for. At least it didn't for me all those years ago.

Thane met up with us at the Normandy. His eyes looked lighter; the shadows were disappearing. I guess some good came from talking to his son. I wanted to ask, but knew it wasn't my business. If he wanted me to know, he would tell me when he was ready.

Garrus went to the Main Battery as soon as he boarded. He hadn't said two words since he took Sidonis down. Now I was sitting in my office chair, reading over the note Kaidan had sent. I wasn't sure if I should go and talk to him or just ignore him.

The door to my quarters opened. Thane stood there with a smile until he saw what was on my computer. "Do you still love him?" he asked softly.

"No, but he is unfinished business that I need to take care of," I muttered. _Did I still love Kaidan?_ No, I didn't think so, but that was easy to say while he wasn't around. Would that change when I saw him again?

"I talked to Kolyat about what he saw, and he is upset, but accepting of it," he explained, easing the tension in my shoulders. I had been so worried that he wouldn't have a chance to talk to his son again after what Kolyat had seen.

"That's good, now all you have to do is work on your relationship with him," I smiled.

"No, that's not all I have to do," he smiled, walking over to me. "I still have to win you over," he murmured, brushing a light kiss across my mouth. I went to deepen it, but he stopped me with a chuckle.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for us to get carried away. Not until those pills start working properly," he muttered. I sighed, leaning my head against his chest. He rested his head on top of mine and I felt at ease, but guilt nagged at me for what happened between us on the sparring mat. Tali explained what had occurred during the fight, but I didn't understand why the two of them had stayed in my room until I awoke.

I knew soon I would have to choose, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt either of them. They were great guys and I…. _No,_ I wasn't ready to face that yet. It all seemed do strange. If you would have asked me not long after I was resurrected if I would be interested in aliens, the answer would have been a definite no. Now I was interested in _two_ aliens. Go figure.

He took my hand in his, leading me over to the couch. I took a seat next to him, my head resting on his chest as he held me close. I relaxed, enjoying his company. "I can't stay long, I should go talk to Kaidan," I muttered.

"Do want me to go with you?" he asked.

I shrugged, but in all honesty I wanted one of them to go with me. "Sure, if you want," I answered, rising from the couch. "But I want to talk to Garrus before I leave."

"Then I'll wait for you at the airlock," he said and smiled before leaving.

"Thane, what is going on between you and Garrus? Usually the two of you bicker a lot more than you have recently." I asked, watching him carefully.

"We have come to an understanding of sorts," he smirked before the elevator doors closed on me. _Now what the hell did that mean?_ I wondered to myself.

I found Garrus sitting alone in the Mess Hall. "So, how are you doing?" I asked him as I took a seat.

"I thought I would have closure when Sidonis died, but I don't. If revenge wasn't the answer, then what is?" he asked, looking confused.

"Revenge may not have been the answer, but you got rid of a person who killed ten people. Now all you have to do is accept what happened and move on," I told him softly.

"What was it like for you when you found your revenge?" he asked.

"I didn't have my full revenge. One of them got away, but I've learned how to accept that," I whispered softly.

I stayed sitting as he rose from the table, walking toward me. He took my hand, pulling me to my feet. "Thank you, Shepard," he murmured, leaning down and touching our foreheads together as he gave a soft purr.

"Any time, Garrus," I grinned, backing away from him. I left the Mess Hall, giving him time to himself. Thane was waiting for me at the airlock as he said he would.

"Are you sure you want to come?" I asked nervously. I wasn't sure what would happen between Kaidan and I or if it was a good idea to have Thane there for it.

He answered by putting pressure on my back so I would move. We didn't have far to go. We were just leaving the ship and Kaidan was heading our way. I slowed my pace to a crawl as he neared. I glanced at Thane, and he didn't seem shocked at seeing him here.

"Kaidan, why are you here?" I asked, clasping my hands behind my back.

"I knew this was the only way you would see me," he smiled. My first reaction was to stare at him in disbelief. He was smiling as if everything was okay.

"What was so important that you had to see me?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"We need to talk…alone," he stated coldly, with a pointed look at Thane.

"Whatever you have to say can be said here, and in front of whoever wishes to hear," I snapped, not giving him an inch.

"Ania, please, let's do this in private," he said and took a step closer. Thane stiffened next to me, his hands tensing as Kaidan approached.

"Why the fuck should I listen to anything you have to say? You said enough on Horizon, I think. There is nothing else you can say to take those words back, so don't bother trying. All that is between us now are vague memories that mean nothing. Now leave, Kaidan." I snarled coldly.

"I'm sorry you think that way. If you would have listened to what I had to say, you might have changed your mind," he said softly.

"That I highly doubt," I sneered.

"I was right before, you have changed. You're colder than you used to be. Maybe you are right, what we had is a memory," he looked at me hurtfully.

"Kaidan, what are you doing here?" Garrus asked coldly, exiting the Normandy to stand beside me.

"I came to talk with Ania, but I don't think there is anything left to say," he responded, giving me a final glance before walking away.

"Shepard, is everything alright?" Garrus asked, giving me a questioning look.

"Yeah, just fine," I smiled. "But I'm going for food since Gardener is off the ship and I have a chance to eat something which will actually taste good. Anyone want to join?" I asked them both, trying my best not to play favorites.

We walked to a diner nearby. I was in between two men who were making the tension unbearable. Their silence and the strain I could feel from the both of them almost made me wish I was alone.

 


	8. Chapter 8

I entered my quarters, determined to get some work done since this was their last day on the Citadel. The ship was manned by a skeleton crew, as everyone was on shore leave. That left EDI and I by ourselves for the time being. Tomorrow we would be leaving and finding more information to stop the Collectors. I refused to acquire the Reaper IFF until I was absolutely sure we were ready. Right now if we entered the Omega IV relay, I was positive we would get our asses kicked.

A pad waited for me on my desk. I found that odd that someone would leave it in my room. It was from Tali; a transmission that had been sent to the Normandy the day we arrived at the Citadel. I scanned the contents and sat heavily in my seat. Sancta was in trouble; he wanted me to go back to Mindoir.

I didn't want to wait until shore leave was over. Too much time had passed already. I knew he wouldn't send this unless it was urgent. "EDI, is it possible for a shuttle to make it to Mindoir from here?" I asked nervously as a plan formed.

"With the shuttle we have it is possible, but there are risks," she answered.

"What are the risks?" I asked quickly.

"Burning out the engines, possible weakening of hull integrity. You could be stranded if these problems do arise. The shuttle is not supposed to be used for long travel," she explained.

"Damn, keep an eye on the ship. I need to pick up a few things from the Citadel," I told her.

The items I needed were for getting around Mindoir and the hot climate there. I needed lighter clothes than I currently had and they needed to be camouflage. I wasn't sure what I would be up against; the last I heard of my former home, a new settlement had grown in place of my old colony.

I caught sight of Garrus coming out of a weapons shop, Thane was at a restaurant that I had just passed. I would talk to them after I was finished with my shopping. Finding the stuff was easy, not bitching the person out for their outlandish prices was harder. With a sigh, I bought the clothing and boots.

I left the store to see Garrus and Thane standing there, waiting for me. Joy! I hoped this didn't turn ugly fast. Most of all I hoped they didn't start their ridiculous competition again. That was getting annoying.

"I never thought I would see you willingly enter a clothing store without a gun pointed to your head," Garrus grinned as I glared at him.

"Yeah, well it had to be done. Once shore leave is over we are heading straight for Mindoir, hence the clothes." I shrugged as both men's eyes widened.

"I take it you found the communication that was sent to the Normandy?" he asked, and I passed him the pad that I was carrying with me.

"Who is Sancta?" Thane asked, watching me closely as he passed the pad back to Garrus.

"The person who taught me to fight," I shrugged, finally answering a question that Thane had asked many times. "I haven't seen him since I was sixteen."

I was about to head back to the Normandy, but they steered me to the diner nearby. I took a seat at the only empty table. It was set off in a corner, giving the feeling of privacy. Thane took a seat next to me and Garrus sat across from me. I braced myself for biting words between the two, but they never came, nor did the glares. I was shocked but happy that they were getting along. I still didn't understand it.

For so long now it had been a battle between the two and I pretended I didn't notice. But during the past week something changed and I wasn't sure what. Thane said they had come to an understanding. I just hoped it lasted.

We ate in companionable silence, until Kaidan came in and headed to our table. A woman with dark hair and dark skin walked beside him; they were holding hands as they slowly made their way to us. "Shepard, I would like you to meet Dr. Amie Savard," he smiled. "Amie, this is Commander Shepard."

"I've heard so much about you, from Kaidan and the news. Is it true you took down Saren single handedly?" she asked, looking at me curiously.

"No, Garrus and Wrex helped," I answered, nodding toward Garrus. He glanced at her, annoyed before he turned a lethal glared at Kaidan. "So, how long have the two of you been together?" I asked her.

"A few months now," she answered. The conversation was awkward, especially knowing that he came to the ship even though he wasn't single. I didn’t know what to say; I didn't want to be petty and bring that up. That would be childish, but the temptation was there.

"What about you, are you seeing anyone?" she asked. I wondered how she would react if I told her about Thane and Garrus. I was about to answer, but Garrus and Thane saw me hesitate. I wondered if they knew why I hesitated. Garrus took my hand from across the table and Thane placed an arm around my shoulder, idly trailing his finger along my neck.

I smiled at the both of them. Kaidan's jaw dropped as he sputtered incoherently. "So, now you're a xenophile. Cerberus had changed you more than I thought," he spat, disgust evident on his face.

Garrus made to rise, but I stopped him with a warning squeeze; he didn't look happy. I turned to Thane just in time to catch sight of Kaidan stumbling and taking a few limping steps back from the table. I was about say something, but the hard glance Thane turned my way stopped me.

"If they are the cause for this change you seem to think has happened, then all I can do is thank them for that. It's amazing the difference _real men_ can make in a woman's outlook," I smirked as his face turned red.

His eyes widened for a moment before he stared at me with utter revulsion. "I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from you now, Shepard. Especially when you are so good at betraying your own people," he spat.

I was about to stand up, but a hand on my thigh kept me seated. I glanced at Thane and he gave me a warning look. I forced my gaze from him back to Kaidan. I could see the regret in his eyes, his skin very pale. I momentarily felt pity for him. This was the first time I had seen him so upset over anything that he would use spiteful words. I knew I had baited him, but he deserved it, or so I kept telling myself as I watched them walk away.

I glanced at Garrus to see him glaring at Thane. "Try and stop me again, Drell, and you won't have to worry about anything ever again," he hissed, rising to his feet and stalking away.

Thane watched him for a moment as he walked away, "I need to go. I have some business to take care of," he murmured, his voice frigid cold. My eyes widened as I saw the barely contained rage in his gaze.

"Thane, is everything alright?" I asked softly.

His gaze softened for a moment. "Don't worry about it," he smiled before walking out of the diner. I watched him for a moment before he literally disappeared from view, like magic. I shook my head with a smile. He was so good at blending in and disappearing without warning.

The waiter came over with the bill; I groaned, realizing that I had to pick up the tab. He shook his head quickly. "Don't worry, the bill is already taken care of. Mr. Krios took care of it earlier. I wanted to know if there was anything else you wanted?" he asked with a bright smile.

I looked at him, vaguely trying to figure out how Thane took care of the bill when he wasn't here. I shrugged it off.

"No, I'm leaving in a moment," I told him, grabbing my bags. He said something else, but I didn't catch it. I needed to find Garrus and see how he was. His reaction toward Kaidan worried me.

I found him back on board the Normandy in the Main Battery. "Garrus?" I called to him softly. He turned around slowly, anger was still in his eyes but they had calmed greatly. Now he gazed at me with eyes that held regret. "How are you?" I asked, stepping beside him and closing the door from the panel.

"I'm actually glad now that Thane stopped me," he muttered. I looked at him in disbelief before grinning.

"Don't worry. I promise I won't tell him," I snickered.

He chuckled, his mood lightening, "Remind me never to piss you off. You have a wicked tongue when someone infuriates you," he smirked.

"Yes, well if you and Thane continue with your bickering and biting remarks, you might see it sooner than you think," I warned him, my grin vanishing, showing him how serious I was.

"Shepard, did you read the information Mordin gave you?" he asked gently.

"No, I haven't yet. Why?" I asked warily, his tone throwing me off. It was as if he was preparing me for something.

"Read it, then you might understand better," he said, moving closer to me.

He raised one hand, running it along my cheek lightly.Did he give you information, too?" I asked, not quite remembering if he had.

"He gave both Thane and I information," he shrugged.

"Have you read it?" I asked curiously.

"I read about humans but I am not reading about Drells!" he growled.

"Um, why would you be reading about Drells?" I asked him, confused why he would even bring that up.

"He gave me information on Drells, too," he scowled. I forced the smile from my face. I knew if I didn’t change the subject soon that I would be laughing. I knew this was Mordin's sense of humor poking through.

"Hmm, well speaking of Mordin, I need to meet to him when he gets back on ship," I told him.

"He's back already. I should talk with him, also," he glared.

"No, just leave it. It was probably easier to have all the information packaged together and that's the way he handed it out," I attempted to rationalize, even though it was a very weak attempt. He didn't seem to care; it seemed to make sense to him.

I left him there to talk with Mordin about Thane's problem. I walked through the empty ship. It was quiet, so quiet that it set me on edge. I wasn't use to being on the Normandy this empty. Mordin was in his lab working on something. I walked over to the bench where he was working, waiting until he had a moment.

"Good, Shepard, you are here. Have information on Kepral's Syndrome and possible cures," he nodded towards a chair. I took a seat, waiting for him to continue. His face didn't look hopeful.

"Looked up Thane's case. His condition so far is mild, though dangerous. There is a way, but it will take time that we don't have now. The only other way I can get more information is to take a sample from Thane and from yourself. Then I can do more tests for better answers," he stated briskly.

"Is there any hope?" I asked quietly.

"Not with the knowledge I have," he shrugged. "Need tissue samples for more testing. Once I can do more testing, might have better answers."

"Fine, you can take a sample from me right now," I muttered, stripping out of my shirt and laying on the bed. He came over with a very long syringe in one hand, and a small metal wire in the other. "Take a deep breath and don't move," he stated. He placed a cold hand on my chest, holding me firmly in place. For such wiry and unimposing creatures, Salarians were strong.

He held me down with ease as he inserted the needle. I flinched, sucking in a gasping breath of pain. Once the syringe was inserted, Mordin said, "Don't move." He slowly lifted his hand, watching me intently for a moment before inserting the wire through the tube of the syringe. I bit my lip to keep from crying out in pain. I could feel something tearing, bringing tears to my eyes as I gasped for breath.

Several moments later, he slowly withdrew everything and cleaned the hole he made, patching me up. "No fighting for two days, let your lung heal," he said as he moved over to his workbench and emptied the contents of the syringe into a test tube.

"So when do you think we will have results?" I asked nervously. I really wanted there to be a cure for him, but I knew the chances of that were slim at best.

"A few days, maybe more I should have some results. Thane comes in here later today. Will take samples from him then, " he told me, giving me a soft smile, trying to ease my worry.

**Thane's point of view**

I stayed in the shadows, following Kaidan around the Citadel. The woman he had brought with him walked quietly. Her movements were stilted as she kept some space between them. Kaidan's hands were clenched at his side. I had seen the regret in his eyes after his harsh statement.

I slipped into his room shortly after him, keeping to the shadows as he paced the area. I watched and waited as he stopped at a picture. He picked it up and I could see the anguish on his face as he stared at it, before placing it face down on the coffee table. I saw who was in the picture and that fueled my rage. I couldn't believe he could discard her just because she didn't do things his way.

He sat himself on the couch and I moved quickly, wanting to make my point. Wanting to protect Shepard from him; keeping him from hurting her anymore. She didn't need that, not after everything she had done for everyone; especially not from him.

He gasped when he saw me standing in front of him. "How did you get in here?" he growled. "Did Shepard send you for revenge?"

"No, I'm here to make sure you don't hurt her again," I answered calmly, not backing away as he rose to his feet. I saw his hands start to glow from his biotics.

" _Me_ hurt Shepard? Shepard doesn't get emotionally hurt, I thought you would know that by now," he sneered. "Haven't you noticed that she feels no emotion, that she hides herself?"

"If that is so, then why did you claim to love her?" I asked, seeing the lie in his words.

"That is none of your business!" he stormed, pacing the room.

"Stay away from Shepard, she doesn't need any more stress in her life. Your attitude toward her causes her pain and I won't stand idly by," I warned, tapping my gun lightly, making sure he understood the threat.

"She would never allow you to kill me. I know Shepard," he said, looking at me smugly.

"Who said I would be going to Shepard for permission?" I asked coldly. My hand shot out, hitting him squarely in the nose. "That is to make sure you remember this talk," I stated, walking out the door. The fear in his eyes gave me the answer I was looking for. Shepard didn't need to worry about him again. He would leave her be.

**Shepard's point of view**

I sat at my computer with a map of Mindoir. It had been a long time since I had been there, so I wanted to be prepared. It still hurt thinking about that place and I tried valiantly to push the memories aside so I could concentrate, but that was easier said than done. Flashes of my past always rose; both the good times with Sancta and those horrendous few days in my old house.

A part of me wondered if my house was there still or had it been razed to the ground with the other houses? Firm hands were placed on my shoulders and I jumped, so focused on my thoughts that I hadn't heard anyone enter.

The hands rubbed my neck, easing the tension out of my muscles. I leaned my head forward for a moment, letting him have better access as his fingers dug in, squeezing tightly. With a sigh of contentment I removed his hands and leaned my head back against his stomach, looking up at Thane. "So, did you get what you wanted done?" I asked him.

"Yes, my business is taken care of. I talked to Kolyat again, as well. He has so much anger toward me right now that I am not sure if we will be able to mend this rift before my time runs out," he said quietly, his eyes guarded.

"Well, it is going to take time. The only thing you can do is be there for him. Listen to him when he talks and let him know that you are there no matter what. It doesn’t matter how harsh his words may be," I told him with a soft smile. I knew this was going to be difficult for the both of them.

"Did you want to stay here so you can be closer to him?" I asked quietly. It hurt to ask, but if there was a chance that he would have some happiness in his life, then I wasn't going to stand in the way. He deserved something good happening in his life, and there was a chance that we wouldn't be coming back from the Collector base.

"No, I'm staying here," he murmured, leaning down and brushing a light kiss along my lips. I was about to deepen the kiss, but he pulled back before I had a chance. I watched him as he took a seat on the couch.

I joined him after shutting my computer down. "Have you seen Garrus around? He wasn't in the Main Battery," he asked.

"I'm not sure where he would be then. You could always ask EDI," I smirked as he gave me a disgusted look. I knew he didn't like talking to the computer unless he had to.

"No, that’s not necessary. I'll find him on my own," he said, rising from the couch.

"Have you seen Mordin yet?" I asked, and he looked at me, shocked.

"No, that is where I am heading now. Why?" he asked, looking at me curiously.

"He asked for a lung sample from me so he can do a more thorough study. He needs a sample from you, as well," I mumbled, uncomfortable with the way he stared at me.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"I already told you. That is not a question I am going to answer," I stated, trying to keep the coldness out of my voice. That one question would leave me too vulnerable. He would know too much that I wasn't ready to admit to.

"Is it you are not ready to tell me or is it that you can't admit it to yourself?" he asked, his knowing gaze burning into me.

"Thane, don't push it," I snapped, moving away from him, putting distance between us. I was trying to put an emotional distance between us, but I couldn't; just the thought of shoving him away like that hurt.

He gave a knowing smile and walked over to me like a predator on the hunt. I swallowed nervously. "Tell me you don't have feelings for me," he whispered, his breath fanning my lips as he walked me backwards.

My back bumped into the fish tank, and he took another step closer. He was almost touching me, but not quite. I opened my mouth to speak and then snapped it shut, glaring at him. "I can't do this. It's not normal for a person to have feelings for two people," I muttered, avoiding his gaze.

"Obviously it is or you wouldn't have feelings for both of us," he stated.

"I don't want to hurt either of you, but that's what going to happen in the end if I don't stop this," I told him, my voice cracking.

He stared at me cautiously. "So, you're choosing Garrus?" he asked slowly.

"No, I'm choosing neither of you. I can't choose between the two of you, so this is the only solution now." I told him firmly.

"Are you sure about your choice?" he asked, taking a few steps back.

"Yeah I'm sure. I'll be talking to Garrus shortly, but right now I need to be alone," I whispered softly. My insides were churning, and I felt like throwing up. My chest hurt from my decision. It was the only one I could make. I couldn't choose between them and it wasn't fair to them to continue this way. They deserved to move on to other options, instead of waiting for me to make a choice that I couldn't.

He gave me on final glance before walking away. I watched him go with a heavy heart; tears filled my eyes as the door closed behind him. I wanted so badly to call him back, but I knew that would be a mistake. I thought about going to the sparring room but there was too high a chance I would meet up with one of them.

**Garrus point of view**

I was in the sparring room, using the props that Shepard usually uses when she here practicing her combat skill. I needed something to relieve my frustration or I would be marching my way to Shepard's room and finally relieving myself of all this stress.

I didn’t know how a human could hit these without harming themselves seriously, yet she did it every day. The doors to the Cargo Bay opened, but I ignored whoever it was, silently praying it wasn't Shepard. My control was at an all time low right now.

"We need to talk," Thane stated. I glance over my shoulder, taking in his serious look. I wondered what happened to put him in this mood.

"What about?" I asked guardedly.

"Shepard," he said. Nothing more added to that, just her name. I turned to him, on edge from his tone.

"What about her?" I asked cautiously.

He didn’t answer, but gave me a pointed look that spoke volumes. This was a conversation that I didn't want to have, one that I had been avoiding. Shepard had finally chosen between the two of us. From the look on Thane's face, I wasn't sure if it was good news or bad news.

"Shepard just told me she loves us both and she won't choose between us," he said softly. "So she has decided that she will be with neither of us."

"How do you know this?" I asked nervously.

"I already talked to her and she gave me her answer," he muttered, staring off into the distance. His hands were clenched at his sides, the only sign that this was bothering him. That he showed me this small sign made it evident that it affected him. I felt like someone had slammed their hand into my chest and tried ripping out my heart.

"I'll go and talk to her later. Find out what is going on," I nearly choked those words out, but I was able to keep my voice controlled.

"It wouldn't matter, she is set in her decision," he sighed, turning his focus back to me. "However, there is another option…."

**Shepard's point of view**

I walked past Thane's room, trying not to stop to see if he was there. I went straight to the one person I thought that might have the answers. Samara was sitting on the floor of the Starboard Observation Room, her legs crossed as she meditated.

"Is there something you wanted, Shepard?" she asked, opening her eyes to look at me.

"A good stiff drink and someone to talk to," I muttered.

"A good stiff drink you won't find here, but I'm willing to listen and give advice if that is what you are looking for," she murmured, looking at me with concern. "You look like you've just lost your best friend."

"You could say that," I sighed,tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"What happened?" she asked softly, taking my hand and leading me over to some chairs that looked out the observation window.

"I told Thane and am about to tell Garrus that I won't be choosing either of them and they should find another," I choked out.

"You did?" she asked, concern evident in her voice. "Shepard, I can feel your pain from this. You should be doing what will make you happy."

"Samara, if I continue like this, someone will get hurt and _that_ would hurt me more," I sighed dejectedly. I saw no hope in this; I knew I had made the right decision.

"Shepard, I don't want to see you hurt, but I think you should talk to them. See if another solution can be found," she murmured.

"There are no other solutions," I mumbled, my shoulders slumped.

"Talk to them. If there truly is no other solution, then come back and talk to me," she murmured. I nodded, leaving here there to her meditations.

I sat for a long while in the quiet Mess Hall, but that peace didn't last long. People were coming back from shore leave, their spirits brighter as the chatted with each other. I made a hasty escape, trying to avoid getting caught up in any conversations.

I went up to my room, needing solitude. The elevator door open and Garrus and Thane were sitting on my couch. Their faces were serious. Garrus was staring at me harshly, while Thane maintained his calm exterior. His eyes were the only indication of his anger.

I could see that Thane had already given Garrus the news. I wanted to run away, to hide from this. I didn't want to do this right now, but I knew I had to; they deserved that much, at least. Slowly I walked into my quarters, bracing myself for the harsh, cold words that would be thrown at me.

I stayed standing instead of taking a seat. I waited for one of them to say something, but the silence was thick. None of us were willing to break it.

Thane gave a sigh, rising to his feet. He stared at me with an expressionless face. He was hiding what he was feeling; closing himself off. I hated that, it hurt me to see him pull away from me. "Shepard, we need to talk," he said, his voice devoid of emotion.

**To be continued…**

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

"What is it, Thane?" I asked nervously. I started pacing the small area in front of the aquarium.

"Shepard, please sit," he said, motioning toward the couch.

"No, I can't sit right now," I muttered, glancing at him. I saw understanding, coupled with something deeper, in his eyes.

"Ania, will you sit down! This talk would be easier if you weren't making me nervous with your pacing," Garrus grumbled.

I turned sharply to him. It had been a long time since I heard him speak my real name, and then only once.Kaidan had been the only one who called me Ania. I stared at him, shocked. Thane glanced between us, waiting for something. I sighed, moving to one of the chairs and took a seat on its edge, ready to bolt back to my pacing at the first sign of discomfort.

"Shepard, your solution to our 'problem' was to stop relations with the both of us?" Garrus asked. I knew it wasn't a question that I was supposed to answer; but I nodded, not meeting either of their stares.

"Shepard? What the hell are you thinking?" Garrus growled. I flinched at the anger in his voice.

"I am trying to keep anyone from getting hurt, should this go further," I whispered, feeling like shit.

"Further? If you are talking about sex, I can see your point; but you know this has gone too far for any of us to walk away unhurt! Do you really think we would back off just because you're trying to protect us; just as you do with everyone in your life?" Garrus snapped. Thane sat next to him, his legs crossed nonchalantly as he smiled, revealing his amusement.

"Garrus…" I began, but was interrupted.

"If you think for a moment that you are doing the _right thing_ by ending this, so help me…" he trailed off and growled. I raised a brow, shocked at seeing him this angry. The last time I saw him this angry had been when I began seeing Kaidan.

"It's not that simple. There are two of you and I will not choose. I can't, I have feelings for both of you," I snapped, my own anger growing.

"Then don't choose yet…wait for a bit. Doesn't happiness matter? We could all be dead when we face the Collectors. Would you really take that away from us?" he asked softly.

I gazed at him, seeing his torment. I hadn't thought it would have affected them this much. Truthfully, a part of me had thought most of the emotions were from the competition between the two, but now I knew that wasn't true. They hurt just as much as I did. Thane dropped his mask, showing me the pain he was in at my decision.

"Then what do you suggest? Not choosing between the two of you isn't fair. You both know that," I stated softly. They glanced at each other for a moment, a silent communication that I didn't understand.

"Let things be for now, and we will work it out when the times comes," Thane interjected. "Nothing needs to be decided now."

"And what happens if I finally sleep with one of you? Is that really fair for the other to get cuckold?" I asked coldly.

"We all know there is a high chance for that. It would have happened before, if you didn’t have allergic reactions to us," Thane stated patiently. If he had been human, I would have said he was rolling his eyes. Though he did have a point. I wondered if they were thinking that the first person I slept with was who I would choose. It made sense, but I still didn't like it.

"Fine…" I sighed.They had a point, but I knew for sure that this was going to go bad if it continued.

"Glad you see the light," Garrus smirked.

"Keep it up, Turian, and I'll be taking you to the mats." I grumbled with a hint of a smile.

                                                                                                ~ooo~

I was in CIC, hovering over Joker's shoulder. He looked back toward me for the third time, each time more annoyed than the last. "You know, I'm starting to miss Captain Anderson. He never hovered over my shoulder," he grumbled.

"How long until we are there?" I asked.

"You know, I could be an ass and say 'we will be there when we get there', but I'm not going to. You would beat me. We should be there in a day or so," he muttered. "Now will you quit hovering?" he asked hopefully.

"Joker, if I go down there and there is no safe way to extract me, I want you to get the ship and the crew out of here. I already left a message in my room. If anything should happen to me, Garrus is to take over the mission and the Normandy," I told him softly.

"Not a fucking chance in hell, Shepard," he smirked. "Garrus and Thane would kill me if I did something like that. Sorry, Commander, but I'm not leaving you stranded; I value my life, thank you."

"Fine, whatever," I grumbled. It looked like I would have to talk to Garrus and Thane.

As I turned to leave, Joker spoke again. "Hey, Shepard, what's going on between you, Garrus and Thane?" he asked, his face full of curiosity.

"Good question, Joker. I don't have a clue," I grumbled.

"Well, you know they always say threesomes are supposed to be a really good thing," he winked. I groaned, walking away before he came up with more ideas.

I went up to my room to go over some maps that were waiting for me. I glanced at the couch where Thane and Garrus had been sitting when we had our little 'discussion'. Things were back to normal for the most part now. They were still competing to a point, though they didn't bicker anymore. They actually talked to each other.

I glanced at the computer in front of me and blushed at what was on the screen. Sex 101 for Turians and Drells, care of Dr. Mordin Solus. I had been reading it last night and again this morning. It had been informative, especially regarding Turians. Turians' penises were ribbed; and both aliens had larger members that a normal human.

Drell physiology, on the other hand, truly sparked my curiosity. Apparently, they are able to orgasm more than once during sex, even the males. That could be _very_ interesting. Just the thought of what I knew now about the both of them had my blood pumping. I flicked my computer off, knowing there was no way I was going to get any work done.

I went into my bathroom and jumped into a cold shower. I stayed under there until my teeth chattered and I wasn't thinking about naked aliens and all the pleasure there could be had on both sides.

I wrapped a thick towel around me, slowly warming up. I walked into the main part of the room for a change of clothes. I wasn't shocked when I saw Thane sitting on my couch; both men had a knack of showing up at the most inopportune times for me. His initial smile turned to concern as he saw that I was shivering. All that good the shower did flew straight out the window. He came over to me, taking my hand into his.

"You're freezing," he muttered, pulling me closer to him so I could soak up his heat. _Damn! Might as well not have taken that shower,_ I thought, rolling my eyes.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," I muttered, moving away from him and the temptation he caused. I grabbed a change of clothes and held them against my chest like a shield, glaring at him. I left him there for a few moments, changing quickly. When I came back out, he was standing in front of the fish tank, deep in thought. "I'm grabbing something to eat," I mumbled,trying anything to get out of this room.

He smirked, following me onto the elevator. I promised myself that I wasn't going to hurt either of them, but that was easier said than done. Right now I was trying to avoid any intimacies between us.

Gardener handed me a bowl of soup, Thane took his food and we both took a seat near Garrus. Garrus was reading over a data pad while he ate. He glanced at me a few times and then turned back to the data. "Joker told me what you asked of him. You can get that idea out of your head. Thane and I are going with you," he stated adamantly. I glanced at Thane and he didn't seem upset that he was just volunteered.

"This isn't going to be an easy mission on so many different levels. I don't think it’s a good idea that anyone goes with me," I stated harshly.

"While you're dealing with your past and your mentor, we'll deal with the trouble that comes," he continued as if I hadn’t said anything. I knew I wasn't going to win this argument. The only way I was going to get what I wanted was to leave in the shuttle craft before they got there.

                                                                                ~ooo~

Joker contacted me on the intercom, letting me know we had arrived at Mindoir. I swallowed nervously as I made my way to the shuttle, rushing so I would beat them there. I should have known better; the both of them were there already aboard the shuttle, waiting for me. They watched me arrive with a smirk.

I had my armor on and the new clothes underneath. I wouldn't be removing my armor until I knew what we were up against on the surface. The shuttle took off with a lurch, sending my already nervous stomach to my feet.

"Fine, be prepared for a lot of walking in forests," I grumbled. I stared out of the window, watching my past come toward me. It was as I remembered; densely forested, sparsely populated. We landed in a clearing, well away from the village we had seen coming in. I started walking without waiting, heading to where I remembered Sancta living.

I remembered this forest well, and avoided the roots that showed, walking through the underbrush as I had been taught so I wasn't tangled in it. Garrus wasn't so lucky and I heard him cursing behind me. Thane was quiet, following closely behind me.

We walked for hours; the longer I was in the bush, the lighter my steps became. Memories of my childhood came back to me; running through these same trees, or going to the waterfall that wasn't far from here. A part of me missed this place.

A shack came into view and I stopped, listening intently to the area. "What is it?" Garrus asked.

"Watch and learn. Sancta was always challenging me when I was younger, and I don't think this time will be any different," I smirked. Garrus took a few steps back, giving us room. I chuckled as I heard movement to my left.

"You know, Sancta, you're getting sloppy in your old age," I grinned, calling out. Garrus gave me a baffled look as Thane was staring into the woods where Sancta had been. I knew he was behind us now. He moved from the trees with a smile of greeting on his face. He stood there, looking at me like a proud father. I walked over to him, preparing to clasp his hand in greeting, but he pulled me into a tight hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist, taking in his familiar scent. He hadn't changed much since I last saw him. He was older, his blond hair still buzzed. He was tall, around six foot two, and he had a lean build meant for sneaking.

"I take it you got my message," he asked, quietly taking a step back.

"That's the only reason why I am here; otherwise I wouldn't have returned," I stated softly.

"Yes I know," he said and sighed. He turned to Garrus and Thane, giving them a once over, then turned back to me with a questioning glance. I smirked and nodded at the unspoken question. His eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief before moving away toward the shack. I followed him inside, taking a seat at the table, waiting for him to tell me why he needed my help. Annoyance started creeping in when he remained silent.

"Sancta, you asked me here for a reason. What is it?" I asked with a bite to my words.

"I heard you missed one of the slavers," he commented. I didn't deny his charge, he knew what I had done. "If you want him, I know where you can find him."

"Oh, where would that be?" I asked coldly.

"He's on his way here, with others. They are planning on another search for slaves," he stated harshly.

"They are going after the village," I sighed. "How do you know he is coming?" I asked. A part of me hoped that he was wrong, yet I feared for the villagers.

"I just know. Leave it at that," he snapped. He always hated being questioned.

"Whatever. I'm heading up to the village to see what can be done to save them," I sighed. Something about all this didn't seem right, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I'll be up there shortly," he nodded. "You should have lighter clothes on if you want to move around easier," he said with a disgusted look at my armor.

"Don't worry, I came prepared," I smirked, stripping off my armor. Beneath it I wore a light cotton, form-fitting, long sleeve shirt with a low scooped neck, and a pair of stretch pants that fit me like a glove. I heard two gasps from behind me. I turned to Garrus and Thane; their attention was fully on me and their eyes showed exactly what they thought of my outfit.

"Here, take these," Sancta said and passed me three double-edged blades with sheathes. I placed one on each of my arms and the other I strapped to my leg. I pulled one of the blades out, checking it out, testing the balance. "You can let those two use the guns and make all the noise. You should move into the village on your own, silently," he stated, looking disdainfully at Thane and Garrus.

"Don't worry about these two. They can move quietly enough," I stated harshly, insulted at his treatment of them.

"If you say so," he shrugged, moving toward his own weapons.

I turned to Thane and Garrus. "Are you ready?" I asked them quietly. This would be the hard part; going into that village, looking at my past. All that waited for me there were memories, hateful memories.

"Don't worry, Shepard, we have your back," Garrus nodded.

"Worry not, Siha, we will be there for you," Thane murmured, his hand resting lightly on my shoulder, giving me comfort that I needed.

I turned to him with a confused look, "Siha?"

"I'll tell you later, Siha," he smiled.

"If you're done, we should be heading out. The ship could be landing soon," Sancta snapped. I looked at him, startled at the harsh tone.

"Fine, let's go," I muttered. I went to walk out, but Sancta stopped me, glaring at the two men as they walked out of the shack. "What?" I asked.

"What the hell do you think you are doing, spreading your legs for aliens?" he asked coldly.

"Be careful, Sancta. Just because I look at you like my father doesn't mean I'll let you away with talking about them like that," I growled low and viciously.

"They are aliens! And a Turian of all things? What the hell! You know they hate our race!" he snapped angrily. "What are you doing letting him get this close to you? I thought I taught you better than that!"

"Sancta, who I sleep with and who I don't isn't your business anymore," I spat, pissed that he was acting this way. I never expected this type of behavior from him. I thought it wouldn't matter to him, but I was wrong and that hurt.

When I was a young, he always said _'Follow your gut and your head and you can never go wrong. It's when you bring emotions into the equation that things fuck up. Emotions don't have a place, other than making your life a misery. Remember that, my girl'._ I remembered his stern voice drilling those words into my head.

"You trained me very well. I listened to what you taught me and this is where it led me," I told him softly.

"No, that is your hormones talking, not your brain. You're fucking two aliens! Aren't humans good enough for you anymore?" he asked scathingly.

"Sancta, I'm not going to have this talk with you. You are not my teacher anymore. Leave my private life alone and let's get this job done," I snarled, storming outside.

Thane and Garrus were standing there waiting. They moved toward me, but stopped when they saw my rage. I tried to calm myself, but the situation and my current location made it almost impossible.

**Thane's point of view**

She moved restlessly through the trees, toward where I assumed the village lay. Her mentor watched her stalk away with a disgusted look. I moved over to him, with Garrus following close behind. "Did you really have to make this harder on her than it is already?" Garrus asked angrily before I could speak.

"Leave it alone, Turian.It's not your business," he snapped, looking at the both of us with so much hate that it was shocking. With threw me off guard was the fear I saw beneath the hate.

"If it upset her, then I am making it my business, human!" Garrus growled, getting directly in his face. I watched Garrus, amused to see this side of him.

"Careful, or Ania will have one less lover," Sancta grinned maliciously. He patted his chest where a blade was sheathed with a warning look. "I know your race can't stop me, so don't even try. I've killed enough of you."

"You may have taken out Turians before, but it won't be just him you are up against," I scowled, my gun pointed at the center of his forehead. He glared at me and then stalked off. I made a mental note to never turn my back to him.

I glanced at Garrus. He was vibrating with pent up anger; his eyes were dilated, his mandibles flared, showing his spiked teeth. I waited for him to calm down before I spoke. It took a few moments before he turned to me.

"Now I see where Ania gets her coldness from," he muttered, trying to make light of the situation.

"Yes, but there is a difference between them; she has shown us her emotions," I smiled as he grinned back. We moved quickly through the bush, though neither of us as silently as Ania.

I stopped when I noticed movement ahead of us. Ania walked toward us nonchalantly. I wasn't sure if I should warn her about our confrontation or leave it be. She moved closer, with an ease that I envied. We could see that she was at home here in these woods.

"Are the two of you ready?" she asked nervously. Her fingers unconsciously rubbed the hilt of one her knives. It seemed to bring her comfort.

"Yes, are you ready?" I asked.

"Honestly, no I'm not. I don't want to do this. I really don't want to go back to that village," she muttered, running a hand through her ebony hair. Every movement showed her agitation and nervousness.

"We'll be there if you want help," I murmured, wishing I could take this burden from her.

"Thanks," she whispered, motioning us to follow. She moved ahead slowly. Garrus and I followed behind her silently; we knew this was hard for her. I knew a lot happened here that she hadn't told anyone. Her flashbacks and emotional outbursts when it came to this place told us as much. Garrus and I shared a knowing glance; we would do anything to make this easier for her, even if it meant we had to take care of the enemy as she came to terms with her past.

Buildings were just coming into view when she suddenly stopped. She turned to us, her face showing the fear she so desperately tried to hide. Garrus went over to her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her close. I expected jealously, but after our talk that didn't come. He murmured words that I couldn't hear and she seemed to take comfort in them. Slowly she backed away, the fear in her eyes subsiding as she regained her strength. For once since meeting her we didn't feel useless. She needed us now; she was no longer the fearless Commander who faced the world alone.

She took to the shadows and we followed. "The ship hasn't landed yet and no slavers have shown up. Sancta said they were coming today, but I'm not sure," she muttered as she scanned the area.

"What do you want to do?" Garrus asked.

"We wait and see. I won't let this colony become slaves," she stated coldly.

"You should ask the Normandy if there are any ships in the area," Garrus suggested.

"Go for it. I'm going to scout around and see what I can find out," she muttered, quickly moving around the corner. We followed her for a moment, losing sight of her in the alleyways as she disappeared. Garrus contacted the Normandy and discovered that there were no ships nearby. That information sent alarms off in my mind. Sancta seemed so sure that they were coming. Garrus glanced at me with a worried look as we made our way to the center of town.

In the distance we could see fields where men and women were working. Kids ran around playing with each other. I wondered how Ania was handling this. I knew this would be hard for her and I wished that she hadn't disappeared like that.

"They are playing hopscotch, a game that the kids here use to play all the time," Ania murmured from behind us. Garrus jumped, glaring at her as I turned to face her. She was lost in her thoughts as she watched them play.

She tore her gaze away from them, glancing around the small village. Houses lined the streets, most of them looking new. Her gaze was riveted to one house in particular; it looked abandoned. A fence wrapped around the yard, windows were broken, and boards blocked what used to be the doorway.

"They will be here in a few moments; they just landed," Sancta stated, coming up behind us. I glared at him, trying to figure out what game he was playing.

"Garrus contacted Joker; he reported that there was no ships in the vicinity." I told him harshly. Ania looked at us, shocked before turning a questioning gaze to Sancta.

She was about to ask, but was interrupted by screaming. Her head snapped around to see Batarians coming into the village, guns drawn. Mayhem erupted as both adults and children ran crying in fear.

I turned to Ania and stopped, her eyes were cold and hard. She clutched a blade in her hand and moved with grace and deadly accuracy as she slashed anywhere open skin showed. Garrus and I covered her with our guns, taking out those that thought to go near her.

The group we fought was small, not enough for slaving. It made no sense, why they would send such a small squad? I aimed at the last Batarian, but he disappeared into the abandoned house before I could get a shot off. Shepard took out her last opponent with a vicious slice to the neck.

I looked around for Sancta, not trusting him at our backs, but couldn't see him anywhere. I turned back to Ania; she was standing above the dead Batarian, her head bowed and her shoulders hunched. I went over to her, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her to me. She was pale, her eyes wide, staring at nothing. She was lost in her past as she stood there shaking. I didn't hug her in case it caused a flashback.

"Ania…" I called to her softly. She didn’t seem to hear me. I gave her a light shake, trying to snap her out of it. Her eyes slowly focused on me as she came back to the present. Quickly she turned around, searching for something. She walked to each Batarian, shaking her head when she finished her search.

"He's not here," she whispered brokenly. "Sancta said he would be here, but he isn't," she repeated hopelessly.

"Shepard, someone went into that abandoned home over there," Garrus pointed. She stiffened, terror entering her eyes she slowly turned to the house. She backed away, shaking her head, fear covering her face.

We didn’t need to ask, we knew what that place was now. Garrus and I looked at each other helplessly, unsure what to do. "Scared, girl?" Sancta asked, coming from behind a building. I wondered what his angle was in all of this.

She turned to him slowly, her eyes wide. "I can't go in there," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Then if you can't do it, send one of you men in there. How about the Turian? They are good at fighting," he shrugged. Garrus went on alert, glaring at the man. His words sent a shiver down my spine. Something was very wrong here.

"No, no one is going in but me," she stated adamantly. I looked at her as she tried to bring her emotions under control. Sancta snorted and we turned to him. I noticed a hint of satisfaction on his face before he once again adopted a blank expression.

"We'll go with you," I told her and she nodded, looking relieved.

"She doesn't need anyone with her," Sancta growled, scowling at us. "She's not as weak as you make her out to be," he said and looked at her pointedly. I expected her to tell us to stay behind after those words, but that was not what happened.

"No, I'm not weak, but this isn't the place where I should be doing things alone. If he is in there, than I will need them," she told him, her voice harsh. Without another look at him, she walked over to the abandoned house.

Garrus took up the rear, keeping an eye on Sancta as we moved slowly toward the house. Ania hesitated before entering. She stared down at the broken boards that had barred the door. She reached out for the pad, her hands shaking as she touched the controls. The door swished open, showing us a trashed room.

She walked in as if she was in a trance. She moved about the room, lightly running her fingers along the counter. Her gaze was blank as she relived her past once again. I wished she would share her feelings with us, but I knew it wasn't her way. I just hated seeing her suffer like this.

She stopped by a small opening by the cupboards, and began speaking, her voice almost a whisper. "I was in the other room playing when the screaming started," she began. "I ran into the kitchen to my dad. He picked me up and held me tightly. We looked out the window and saw them. They grabbed everyone they could see; children cried out for their parents, but they couldn't answer. My father took me here, told me I needed to hide, that it wasn't safe. He promised he would come and get me when it was safe. I hid, covering my ears as the screams continued. I moved further back in the cubbyhole, praying for their screams to stop.

My parents hid; the house was silent, so quiet. I couldn't see my parents. I wanted to go to them, I wanted them to tell me it was going to be alright, but I couldn't.

The door banged opened and men came in, searching the house. One stopped here, but he didn't see me. I covered my mouth so he wouldn't hear my crying. He moved away, returning to his comrades."

Ania walked past me, touching some old bones on the floor. I knew without her having to tell us who they belonged to. "They found my parents; they grabbed my mother, throwing her to the ground," she continued, a pained expression on her face. "She screamed and my father begged for them not to hurt her. One of the men raped her and I buried my head in my hands. I couldn't watch; I didn't want to hear what was happening. My father screamed and I saw the man leave my mom. She was so still. She stared at us with blank eyes and blood on her face.

They silenced my father, shooting him. I made a sound. I tried not to, I tried to be quiet, but I couldn't do it. They found me, grabbed me pulling me out of my hiding spot. They discussed what a good price I would bring and one of them asked if he would be allowed to 'test' me."

"And I did, in the end. You were such a good girl," a gruff voice stated from the doorway. We all turned to him. Shepard stood up, her hand brushing against me. I felt her take one of my guns. "Did you come back for more? The boss didn't say there would be others with you, though. It's too bad he stopped me before and took you for himself."

"No, you are not laying a hand on me. Ikilled the rest of your team years ago. l killed your boss, too. All that is left is you," she said coldly.

"You think you killed my boss, but you didn't. You killed the leader of my squad, that's all," he laughed, sneering at her as she looked at him in shock. The puzzle pieces finally sliding into place.

"He's right, you didn't kill me. Now you have a choice. I've been grooming you for this day, the day when you would join us," Sancta grinned as he walked over to the Batarian and shot him in the head. "Your past is behind you now, he's dead. All that is left is for you to accept."

"Sancta, why?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Money, power, I saw that in you when I saved you from him. I knew you would become great, as I trained you to be, but I never expected you to work for the Alliance, of all things" he spat, disgusted.

"You were the one who led the slavers? It's your fault my parents are dead, along with everyone else?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"That's all in the past. Think of all that money we could make. Think about it, you will never have to worry again," he said soothingly. Her face softened as he walked toward her.

I was about to intervene as was Garrus, but we both stopped. We needed to see how this was going to play out. I knew this would be hard on her, but it would help in putting her past to rest. "Why did you save me? Why did you train me?" she asked, confused.

"When he was on top of you, I saw fear, but I also saw fire. I knew you were a fighter, a survivor and those are the best to have on your side," he answered her.

He moved to her when she bowed her head, slowly pulling her into his arms. We watched as she lifted her arm and pulled the trigger. Sancta slowly slumped to the ground, staring up at her in disbelief. "I would never follow you. You, who have killed, raped and kidnapped people. If you believe that I would have condoned that, then you never knew me. Just as I never knew you. You don't deserve to live, not after everything you've done," she snarled, pulling the trigger once more.

She collapsed to her knees with a sob, her arms wrapped around herself. I went to her, pulling her into my arms, holding her tightly as she cried. Garrus ran a hand soothingly along her back as she wept. We both knew this would be hard for her.

Slowly she stopped crying and looked down at her parents' bones. "I need to finish this before I leave, but the two of you can head back to the Normandy. I'll be there when I'm finished," she whispered.

"No, we will help you with this," I told her.

"We aren't leaving your side, Ania," Garrus stated, taking her hand as I held the other.

"I know," she nodded, and gave us a small smile of acceptance.

"Come on, we'll give you a hand," Garrus murmured.

We buried the bones of her parents on the outskirts of the village. She said good bye softly before moving away. We followed her as she made her way to Sancta's place and grabbed the gear that she had left behind. "Let's go back to the Normandy. I can't stay here any longer," she muttered with a final look toward the village.

The trip back was quiet as she sat beside Garrus, her head leaning on his shoulder as she slept. I was worried what we were going to do when we got to the ship. She would be mad if we carried her from the shuttle.

"You should wake her," I told Garrus.

"I don’t think so. You want her up, you wake her," he smiled smugly.

"Have you awaken her before?" I asked curiously.

"No, you?" he asked nervously.

"No," I answered. We looked at each other nervously as the shuttle boarded the Normandy. I approached her slowly, lightly stroking her cheek. She mumbled something, holding my hand to her cheek as her eyes slowly opened. She smiled and reached up, lightly kissing me. I looked smugly at Garrus, who glowered at me.

"I'm waking her up next time," he muttered as she rose to her feet. She gave us a confused look before shrugging and walking away.

We went our separate ways, giving Ania time to come to terms with everything that had happened on Mindoir.


	10. Chapter 10

**Garrus point of view**

I tried being patient, allowing Ania the time she needed. Thane and I both agreed that she would need time to come to terms with what happened on Mindoir. But this waiting was killing me; I wanted to be there for her. My decision reached, I made my way to her quarters. Down on the planet, we promised that we would be there for her and that promise didn't end when we came back to the ship. I smiled when I entered her room and found her sprawled face first across the bed. She was still in that skin tight outfit that she had been wearing during the mission; the one which caused both Thane and I to lose all speech capability.

"I'm not moving," her mumbled, her voice muffled by the thick blankets that surrounded her. She didn't move an inch as I took a seat on the bed.

"How are you doing?" I asked nervously. I was unsure how she would react toward us after revealing so much emotion in front of us. She was a very private person who almost never lost control of her emotions. I was hopeful that she had responded that way because she trusted us. I knew she felt safe with us, but even that didn’t guarantee she would be comfortable with the way she had let her feelings go.

If she truly felt comfortable enough with us to let down her guard around us, than all my worrying about how this relationship would work didn't matter. She had already shown us that she cared more than we even imagined.

Her grumbling broke through my thoughts. I smiled gently at her back. If she stayed there, she would be sore when she awoke. Gently I picked her up, moving her to the center of the bed. She gave a squeak of surprise, quickly followed by an outraged glare. I grinned unrepentantly. "So, how come you aren't sleeping?" I asked her softly, keeping her in my arms.

I felt her stiffen, ready to avoid the question; then she sighed, giving me a sheepish grin. "I don't want to sleep alone. I'm tired of the nightmares and I know there will be one. There always is," she muttered angrily, her face buried in my shoulder as she admitted her feelings. I smiled softly as she revealed to me what she hides from others. I pulled her tightly to me, feeling lighter than I had in a while.

"Go to sleep. I'll be here when you awake," I murmured, but I needn't have bothered; she was already drifting off to sleep in my arms. I laid her down gently beside me. She curled up next to me, her head resting on my chest, one arm around my waist. I chuckled softly to myself so I didn't wake her.

I wondered how long it would take that Drell to come here. The last I saw of him, he was sitting at the table in the mess hall with a plate of food that hadn't been touched. His focus had been on an elevator that he couldn't see from his vantage point. I knew it wouldn't take long. He wanted to be here as much as I did, but I was the smarter one, I thought, grinning smugly.

I looked down at the woman by my side, worried about her. I had seen how her eyes had lit up when she saw Sancta. I knew killing her own mentor would be hard for her. Ania wasn't one to trust easily and she had killed him because he betrayed her in the worst possible way. I just hoped that she could finally lay her past to rest. I knew she would still have nightmares and flashbacks, but those we could work through.

When we went into her old house, my blood had chilled as she relived what happened. Both Thane and I paled at the distance in her voice as she told us her story. Then that sadistic Batarian had come into the room, and I saw red. I wanted to tear him apart with my bare hands. Unfortunately, Sancta reached him before I was able. Once his own scheme was revealed, I wanted to kill Sancta slowly for what he had done to Ania.

I lay there peacefully with her nestled against my side. She whimpered in her sleep and I stroked her hair; eventually her whimpers subsided and she calmed down for a bit. This happened several times as I lay there, soothing away each nightmare as it appeared.

The hours passed slowly. She hadn't whimpered in quite a while and I drifted off, keeping my senses alerted to her. I thought back to the old Normandy, wondering what would have happened back then if I hadn’t been so scared of our differences. Would we still be together, even though she disappeared for two years? Would we have gotten back together?

On the Normandy we had spent a lot of time together, and rumors among the crew stated that we were a couple. Kaidan had been the only one who had come and asked if it was true. Now I wished I had kept my mouth shut, and then maybe he wouldn't have hurt her.

Her door opened, breaking me out of my thoughts. Thane walked in, his gaze riveted to Ania. Relief washed over him as he saw she was sleeping. Then he turned his focus to me. "How is she?" he asked softly, coming over to the bed.

"Better, but stubborn as ever," I grinned. He gave me a questioning look so I explained. "She didn't want to be alone, even though she was exhausted; but she wouldn't call either of us," I muttered, rolling my eyes. He shook his head in bemusement.

"She wouldn't be Ania if she would have asked for help," he stated with a shrug.

"I know, but I wish she wasn't so stubborn," I grumbled, glancing down at her.

"Would you have been interested in her if she was someone different?" he asked logically. He had a point, even though I hated admitting it.

I sighed, hating to ask this question, but it had been bothering me. "Thane, do you really think your idea will work?" I asked doubtfully.

"I hope so or we will both lose her," he sighed, looking at her sadly. "The only way to find out is to try." He gazed down at her with clouded eyes. I tried reading him like Shepard was able to, but I couldn't. He glanced at me, and his eyes were filled with determination and pain. "I'll leave you alone," he said softly as he walked out.  

I closed my eyes, relaxing by her side, but keeping alert to everything about her. My hand brushed against the material of her shirt and I flashed back to the moment when she had removed her armor. The image of her in those clothes sent my blood pounding through me, my plates threatening to shift.

I groaned, softly chastising myself. She didn't need this right now; she wasn't up for _that._

She moved with a soft moan, her cheeks beginning to flush. I squirmed, knowing these signs well after reading Mordin's information. I swallowed nervously and kept reminding myself that she was asleep and there was nothing I could do. Unfortunately, my body wasn’t willing to listen to my brain. I snatched my hand away as I realized what I had just been doing. I had been running my hand along the length of her arm. Each pass would lightly brush against her breast, causing her to moan. _I am not going to take advantage of her!_ I argued with myself.

My plates shifted as my mind filled with visions of the sleeping form beside me. My first reaction was to run and hide, but after everything that had happened, I knew it wasn't necessary anymore. If she saw that I was aroused, it wouldn't scare her or disgust her.

Her body tensed for a moment before her eyelids slowly fluttered open. Her gaze was filled with passion. Her blue eyes were glowing brightly, reminding me of an ocean. She didn’t try to hide it as she reached up, running a finger along my jaw before moving up to my fringes.

I moaned, fighting every instinct I had to keep from tossing her onto her back with her hands pinned above her head as I drove myself into her, finally finding relief after months of wanting her. Just the thought of it almost broke all control I had. I moaned as the image of her beneath me burned itself into my brain.

To stop myself from doing what I wanted, I rolled her on top of me, her legs straddling my sensitive waist. It was bearable at the moment because of the shirt I was wearing, so I was able to keep control of my baser instincts. I brought her mouth to mine, running my tongue in her mouth, groaning when I tasted her sweetness. Our tongues met, tangling together.

The first time we tried this, it had been unusual for me. Turians didn't kiss; we weren't made for it. By human standards, our mating was rough, without much ‘foreplay’, as humans call it. However, when she reacted to my kisses, my blood boiled, rushing through my veins. She tasted minty as I ran my tongue throughout her mouth. I was shocked to find that I enjoyed it and wanted more.

I trailed my tongue along her neck and her small hands grabbed my fringes firmly. I was forced to control myself so I wouldn’t bite too hard on her soft flesh as I nipped my way down her throat. I didn't want to hurt her and her skin was so delicate that it would be easy to damage. I gripped her hips, thrusting upward, grinding myself against her. She threw back her head, gasping aloud, and moved her hips against me, bringing us more pleasure. If I didn't stop this soon, we would be finishing this with our clothes on and that wasn't how I wanted it. I wanted her moaning beneath me, feeling her soft skin under my hands. I wanted to hear my name as I thrust into her.

I growled, grasping her hips firmly, holding them in place as I regained my control. She stilled beneath my hands and looked down at me passionately, whispering my name.

She grinned at me, and in a smooth motion, stripped off her shirt, leaving only a skimpy piece of material that covered her breasts. I devoured her with my eyes, taking in every curve, her soft skin, the way her hair fell around her. I laced my fingers through her hair, using it to lever her head back as I lapped at her neck, lightly grazing it with my teeth. Her eyes flutter closed as her breath sped up.

She leaned back, removing the fabric covering her breasts. She took my hands into hers and I watched curiously, not sure what I was supposed to do. She cupped her breasts with my hands using her own hand to show me how to pleasure her. I brushed her hands away, mimicking what she had done. She groaned, her body shivering as I ran a talon over her nipples. Her back arched as I pinched them, rolling them between the pads of my fingers. Her hand reached down her body, lightly brushing the area where her musky scent was coming from. She leaned back giving me access to her breasts. I knew touching them brought her pleasure. I cupped them, being very careful of my talons. Her back arched, thrusting then into my hands. I used my talons, lightly teasing them and she whimpered as a shiver raced through her. I leaned up, tasting her and she gasped, clutching my head in her hands. I could feel her nails on my tough skin.

I tossed her onto her back, stripping her roughly out of her pants. She wore nothing beneath and I throbbed at the sight. She was moist between her legs; there was no hair there as there had been in the video.

"Your turn," she said huskily, with a sultry smile that sent my blood pounding through my body. Before I could start taking my shirt off, her agile hands snaked beneath it, running along my highly sensitive waist. I purred as wondrous sensations ran through me. Her nails dug into my waist and I groaned, shivering.

Quickly I stripped for her, a part of me nervous about her reaction. I hesitantly took off my pants, taking a deep breath to fight back my fear of her reaction and knelt in front of her, totally exposed. My eyes were closed, unable to meet hers. I waited for her to say something… anything, but there was only silence. My nerves were strung so tight that I almost said 'forget it', avoiding the rejection I knew was coming.

I was about to crack my eye open just to see her expression, when suddenly I felt a wet heat surround me. I shouted, my eyes opening wide at the sensation. I had never experienced anything like this; it was the most intense thing I had ever felt, next to being buried inside of a woman. I moaned, thrusting my hips in time with her movements as she took me into her mouth. I watched as I disappeared between her lips; she couldn't take my whole length, but what she was doing right now sent my mind spinning. I could feel myself tightening and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I spilled myself in her mouth. I didn't want to stop it, but I had to.

With more willpower than I knew I had, I forced her mouth from me. She grinned up at me, slowly licking her lips. She had known that I was close and would have kept going if I hadn't pulled her off of me. Just that thought alone almost pushed me over the edge.

I tried to remember the videos that I had watched on pleasuring her, but was coming up blank. If she had been a Turian, I would be working her fringes and waist before entering her; but this was Shepard, and she deserved better than that.

I did what I knew she liked from the few experiences between us. I used the pad of my finger to massage the small nub between her legs, while stroking her nipples with my tongue. My other hand held her hips firmly so she didn’t buck against my talons. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her.

She tossed her head as she moaned, her legs quivering. I felt her tense her hips, trying to buck against me. My fingers and stomach were wet from the liquid which was running down her thighs. I tasted the fluids from my fingers, moaning at the sweetness of it. I had to know…

I lifted her up, moving her toward my mouth; her smell was intoxicating. I couldn't get enough of it. I ran my tongue between her folds, tasting her soft flesh. She gave a startled cry before moaning again. I did it again, watching her carefully as she knelt above me. I ran my tongue over her nub lightly, testing to see her reaction. Her back arched and her legs tightened around me. I grinned and continued my ministrations. If I remembered correctly, human females could have more than one orgasm; unlike Turian females.

She gyrated against my tongue, breathing heavily as she played with her breast. I shoved my tongue inside of her and she screamed with pleasure. I continued mimicking what we were about to do. She reached down grasping my fringes roughly, pulling me firmly to her as she came again. More juices covered the both of us; I licked it from my chin. She gazed at me, her eyes dark with desire as she moved back so she was once again straddling my waist. Her soft flesh brushed against my most sensitive area, stealing my breath. She ran her tongue over my mouth, tasting herself from me. I growled, flipping her onto her back and positioned myself between her legs. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and pleasure shot through my entire body.

I moved over her, slowly entering her. I worried that I wouldn't fit; she was so small that I had to work to make room. She thrust upward, taking me further into herself. I growled, shoving into her roughly, stopping when I felt resistance. Her back arched off the bed as I shoved into her harder than I wanted to. She felt so good that I couldn’t stop. Her thighs clenched around me, stimulating me more. I fought for control, pinning her hands above her head, stretching her body out into one taunt line as her head thrashed back and forth with each thrust of my body. I buried my face in her shoulder, as I drove in and out of her roughly, no longer able to control myself.

She screamed, biting me hard on the neck. Her whole body stiffened and her inner muscles began milking me. I lost all control and bit her shoulder, thrusting into her one final time before spilling myself deep inside of her.

We lay together panting, my forehead resting against hers as I slowly slipped out of her. I rolled onto my back and she curled up along my side, looking sated. I grinned at her smugly with her hair tousled, a satisfied look on her face.

We lay there for a few moments in companionable silence. "Round two?" she asked cheekily.

I groaned. "You'll have to wait for that," I told her mournfully. I wanted to go again, but it takes my race longer to recover from one bout. I glanced at her shoulder, seeing blood; she looked to where my focus was and grinned.

"About time someone learned how to bite," she chuckled.

I looked at her incredulously; she could have been seriously injured and she was _happy_.

"Relax Garrus, I enjoy biting," she nodded toward my own shoulder. I glanced at it seeing the indentation of her teeth. My eyes widened. _Thane was going to be hurting if he bedded her,_ I thought smugly.The thought didn't bother me like I imagined it would, even though we had come to an agreement. I would have preferred to have her on my own, but if I had to share her, I was comfortable with it being Thane. I looked over at her and wondered how we were going to tell her. She wasn't one who liked secrets. When she found out, it was going to hurt; that much I knew for sure.

After realizing that she would leave us both because she couldn't choose, I had been forced to make a decision that a normal Turian would never even imagine. We were territorial people and didn't share our mates. I had to fight ever instinct I had not to tell Thane off. I knew I had to agree or lose her forever, so I chose her over every instinct within me.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly, propping herself on an elbow, looking down at me.

"Nothing important," I lied, hoping she didn't catch it.

She stared at me disbelievingly, but didn't press the matter, much to my relief. "Well, I'm heading downstairs. I need to eat," she muttered, hopping off the bed with more energy than I could muster at the moment. _Didn't humans sleep after sex?_ I thought tiredly to myself.I was more than ready for a short rest and then begin again, but she was almost dressed and ready to leave for food. I shook my head in disbelief.

"Are you coming?" she asked, already dressed. "Fine, you stay here and I'll bring something up," she grinned. I growled, my instincts kicking in again. Women didn't provide food for their men. With a groan I got out of bed, dressing in the clothes that I had come in. She was already by the elevator, waiting for me.

                                                                                                ~ooo~

**Shepard's point of view**

Garrus had gone back to the main battery, checking calibrations for the cannons. There were no intimate goodbyes between us. That would have been too awkward with everyone nearby.

I pounded on the boards in front me, letting off some steam in the sparring room. I would have thought after sleeping with Garrus that I would be relaxed, but I wasn't. Now I felt guilty after passing Thane in the Mess Hall. I had avoided him, immediately heading in the opposite direction.

I didn’t know what to say to him. I knew I should talk to him and let him know, but at the moment I was being a chicken. I took my frustrations out on the boards, hitting them until my knuckles were numb and bleeding. The doors opened behind me, but I didn't pay attention to it.

Soft footsteps neared, and I knew who it was without looking. The one I had been avoiding had found me. Thane stood at the edge of the mats, watching me intently. I swallowed nervously, wanting to run but I couldn't; he deserved better. Slowly I raised my eyes to him, unsure of what to say.

"How was your sleep, Siha?" he asked casually, throwing me off guard.

"Fine," I swallowed nervously, guilt consuming me as I saw his happy expression.

"Is something wrong?" he asked softly, coming over to me. I ran my hand through my hair, unsure how to explain this to him without hurting him.

"Yeah, there is," I muttered. _How the hell was I supposed to say this?_ I wondered, furious with them both for putting me in this situation. I had been fully prepared to let them both go, so I could avoid a situation like the one I now found myself in. Yet, they had pushed and demanded, and now I had to be the bitch that would break someone's heart. _Damn them both!_

Pacing back and forth, I glanced at Thane and noted the casual way he stood and watched me, as though he hadn't a care in the world, while I was torn up inside. _Well, here goes nothing,_ I thought and drew in a deep breath, steadying myself.

"Thane, you remember that conversation we had in my room; you know, the one with me, Garrus and you?" I asked carefully.

"Yes, Siha," he replied quietly, "how could I possibly forget?"

I walked toward him, grasping his arms in my hands, staring steadily into his eyes. I hoped I was exuding the confidence that I did not feel. "Well," I continued, "you and Garrus both said that we would deal with the consequences of 'intimate' acts when and if such a thing occurred."

"That we did," he responded, nodding slowly. For the briefest of moments, he almost appeared to be smirking at me, and then his calm facade fell once again. Swallowing thickly, I began to turn away. He grasped my hands, refusing to allow me to run. "You know you can tell me anything, Siha," he said gently, and placed a hand under my chin, bringing my gaze up to meet his own. "There should be nothing we cannot discuss. I believe we have moved beyond the need to hide from each other."

My heart breaking, I felt a single tear roll down my face as I spoke. "Thane, Garrus and I were together this afternoon."

His eyebrow rising, he asked," And where did you go together, exactly?"

 _Blasted man!_ I thought. _Can't he figure out what I meant? Do I have to give him every little detail?_ Anger began to replace fear, as I realized this awkward situation was their entire fault.

"We didn't _GO_ anywhere, Thane!" I said irritably. "I mean, we were 'together', as in we slept together!" It came out so quickly, it took me a moment to realize I had even spoken. I covered my mouth with my hand, not quite believing I had been so blunt. I stood there, dumbstruck; waiting for the explosion of anger I knew was coming. My heart raced and I felt like I might pass out at any moment.

In place of anger, Thane simply stared at me, his face unreadable. I saw a flash of what might have been sadness in his eyes, before it was replaced with determination.

He took a deep breath. "I know Siha, I can't smell him off of you," he said softly.

"You mean to tell me that…" he stopped my words with a finger to my mouth.

"Siha, let me finished please," he murmured, his gaze intent. "You needn't worry that you had intimacies with him. He already told me when I saw him moments ago."

I gasped, hearing that the two of them had talked about this and he made me believe that he hadn't known. "You…you knew?!" I stated quietly, anger burning through me. "Why would Garrus tell you?" I asked, spitting out each word.

He looked at me worriedly. "We've come to an arrangement concerning you. We couldn't lose you, so we agreed to share you between us," he said quietly.

"You made me believe that you didn't know what happened!" I growled, remembering the amusement in his eyes. "You and Garrus have been plotting behind my back while I've been worrying about this?"

"Siha…" he didn't get to finish. My anger overrode common sense and my fist shot out without thought, hitting him squarely in the mouth. His eyes widened in shock as he gingerly touched his bleeding lip.

I stared at him, filled with shock and then anger. "The next time you pull a stunt like that…" I trailed off, glaring at him before storming out of the practice room. He called to me, but I was too furious to answer.

I stormed into the Main Battery, looking for Garrus. He was manually inputting information into the console. "We need to talk!" I stated coldly.

"Ania," he smiled wrapping a hand around my waist, pulling me closer.

"So tell me, Garrus, when were you going to inform me that you and Thane had come to an agreement?" I asked icily, pushing away from him.

"Shepard, let me explain…" he started, but I cut him off.

"Let you explain? I've been worrying about this for a while. I came to a solution and then the two of you changed my mind. I have been beside myself, trying to figure out how to tell Thane what happened. Now I find out he already knew!" I said and hit him in the chest. I knew it wouldn't hurt him, but it made him move back.

His eyes widened. "You've known me for a while and you know I hate secrets. The next time, I would suggest you let me in on these plans!" I scowled.

"We weren't sure how you would react or if it would even work…" he shrugged helplessly.

"Men!" I groaned, shaking my head at him. "Fine, tell me exactly what compromise that two of you came to?" I asked tiredly.

"I think you already know that answer, though we still haven't worked out all the details," he murmured, taking my hand again. This time I didn’t resist as he pulled me close.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" I asked, finally understanding why he wanted me to look over the information Mordin gave me. Turians seemed to be possessive with their mates, as were Drells.

"We will find out, won't we," he sighed, resting his head on top of mine.

"Damn, I need to go talk to Thane and apologize," I muttered, moving out of his embrace.

"What happened?" he asked curiously.

"I lost my temper with just cause, but I stormed out on him," I sighed as I left the room.

I walked into Life Support. Thane was sitting at his table, deep in thought. I took a seat, waiting for him to finish. I knew this meditation helped him put things in perspective, just as practicing my fighting helped me.

His eyes opened slowly, his expression cautious. I didn’t blame him, not after the way I treated him. I swallowed nervously, doing something I rarely do.

"I came to apologize for my outburst," I mumbled, shifting uncomfortably.

He stared at me steadily; with each passing moment, I was becoming more uncomfortable. I was never good at the ‘I'm sorry’ thing. The small smile that spread across his lips gave me hope. "Do not worry about it, Siha. I deserved your anger for keeping this from you," he smirked as I let out a relieved sigh.

He took my hand from atop the table, bringing it to his mouth and placing a light kiss on each finger.

"I'm worried about how this will work," I murmured, letting him see my turmoil. It was all so strange. I'd had relationships, lovers, but never did I let my walls down for them; yet these two men had come into my life and I allowed them to see what I hid from everyone else. I allowed my weaknesses to show. With them, I didn’t have to be 'The Savior' or the 'Great Commander Shepard'. They allowed me to just be me; a normal human with all my quirks.

I had never allowed Kaidan to be that close to me; I didn't feel secure enough or comfortable enough doing it. "We won't know until we try," he murmured, using the same words as Garrus.

"That's what Garrus said, too," I smirked. "But I've looked up the information on Drells and Turians. You both have one thing in common; you're territorial with your mates," I stated.

"This is true and it will be hard to push those emotions aside, but I'm willing to do this, Siha," he murmured, rising from his seat. He tugged me gently to my feet.

"We need to talk about Mordin, but not now. You have a ship to run and I need to meditate more," he said quietly. He was worried about something. I could see it in his eyes. I was about to ask, but I knew he wasn't ready yet.

I left him there, wondering what he meant about Mordin. There was only one possible explanation, but I knew the doctor hadn't come to an answer yet. He would have contacted me already.

I walked into the lab, wanting an answer of any kind. "Shepard, you received my message. Good. We need to talk….”


	11. Chapter 11

I stared at Mordin, his tone causing me concern. "What is it?" I asked.

"The cure you requested for Thane; there _might_ be a way, but it could be potentially dangerous," he stated cautiously.

"How dangerous is it for Thane, Mordin?" I asked fearfully. If it was dangerous for him, then there was no way I was following it through. He had finally reunited with his son and I wasn't going to take away what little time he had left on a whim.

"It's not," he said, glancing down at his omni tool.

"But you just said that it could be potentially dangerous," I replied. Now I really was confused.

"Yes, I did say it could be potentially dangerous, but I didn't say for whom," he responded, turning back to his omnitool.

I silently counted to ten, trying to keep my voice calm. "Mordin, why don't you start from the beginning and tell me everything?" I asked through clenched teeth, my eyes expressing the anger I was controlling.

"Did test on the sample of your lungs; Cerberus did extensive rebuild of them. From what I have seen, they used advanced cybernetics. I can't replicate it; too high-tech. Will need to use a few of your implants," he explained. So far it didn’t seem that bad.

"Okay, so what's the potential danger?" I asked.

"Removing too many implants could cause your system to destabilize. Not sure if you would survive the procedure," he said, staring at me intently. _Oh, well damn._

"Well, are there any other options?" I asked quietly.

"Anything else will take too much time; this is the quickest way to cure him. Will look for another solution after the Collectors are dealt with," he told me, smiling kindly.

"Mordin, can I ask a favor? Please don't mention this to anyone, including Thane. I'll give you my answer later," I muttered absently, deep in thought. I walked out of his lab in a daze, needing to talk to someone, but not sure who I should choose. This wasn't what I had been expecting. I had thought there would be some pill or surgery and then everything would be fine. It wasn't the fact that Mordin needed my implants or the fact that I might die. What concerned me most were the Collectors. If something happened to me, would this team be able to get the mission done on its own? That was my main concern. If it hadn’t been for that, I would have said yes immediately.

I knew what I wanted to do, but I needed time to think the situation through clearly. I went to my quarters to be alone for this contemplation, but there was only one way to do that. "EDI, make sure I'm not interrupted by anyone, including Garrus and Thane," I muttered absently.

"Of course, Commander," she stated before her control panel blinked out.

If only I had answers to my questions; each of these people specialized in something unique, but none of them had true leader potential. Garrus could lead the team, but would they follow them? Miranda was out of the question, as most of the crew didn't like her, and the rest simply weren't leaders.

That realization alone made the decision for me; I couldn't do it until after the Collectors were gone.

I sighed tiredly and glanced at the clock. It was even later than I thought. Finally I could rest; one problem solved. Now, if only Thane and Garrus were that simple. They had come to a decision, but that didn't mean it couldn't still backfire.

I closed my eyes, and an image of Garrus finding his release came to me as I began to relax. It was soon replaced by a vision of Thane, and I fell asleep, dreaming of them both.  

"Shepard, we will be arriving at Tuchanka in approximately one hour," EDI's voice snapped me from my dream state. I glanced around blearily, her words not actually registering.

"Thanks, EDI. Tell Joker I'll be down in a few moments," I muttered, throwing the blankets off of me. Quickly I got ready for the day. The first place I went to was the lab. "Mordin, be ready to leave the ship in about an hour," I told him.

He glanced up at me. "Is there a problem?" he asked.

"No, we will be arriving at Tuchanka then," I told him. “I know you are anxious to find your former comrade.”

"I'll be ready. Will take more medical supplies, just in case," he muttered, giving me a pointed look.

"Shepard, did I hear right? We're going to Tuchanka?" Garrus asked as he came up behind me. I jumped and spun around, glaring at him.

"Yes, so get suited up. I'm going to ask Thane if he wants to go, too," I told him as I turned to leave. He stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I glanced around us, noticing that the Mess Hall was suspiciously empty. He moved closer, and my breath hitched in my throat as he lightly brushed his hand along my cheek.

"I have to go," I whispered, backing away from him before I changed my mind and we ended up in either my quarters or the Main Battery.

"No you don't. There’s still a lot of time," he murmured, tugging on my hand so I would follow him.

"Garrus, if we start anything, there won't be time," I muttered, taking my hand back. He grinned and shrugged before walking away. I watched him leave and was very tempted to follow him. I took a deep breath, fighting to get my raging hormones under control again before I did something stupid.

I arrived at Life Support. Thane sat silently, deep in meditation. His hands were folded together, elbows resting on the table. I stood by the door, not wishing to disturb him. "Is there something you need, Siha?" he asked quietly, his smooth voice sending shivers of pleasure down my spine.

"We'll be arriving at Tuchanka shortly. Grunt and Mordin have each requested my help there. Did you want to come?" I asked him hesitantly. He had been with me on almost every mission since he had joined the crew. I thought that he may want to stay aboard the ship to catch up on some rest.

"I'll meet you in the shuttle bay, Siha," he murmured, turning back around in his seat. I watched him for a moment, confused at his attitude. He seemed more distant than usual, and it concerned me.

**Thane's point of view**

I listened to the door close softly behind her, and let out a sad sigh. I had been meditating on what I should do; what would be fair to her. Garrus was a healthy male, while I was slowly dying. I knew I wouldn't be around much longer.

I was sure Garrus would be there for her, and she would be happy with him. I saw the happiness in his eyes when I visited him in the Main Battery. It hurt to see; to know that no matter what happened I wouldn't have her for long.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to clear my mind. I headed for the shuttle bay; Garrus was leaning against the shuttle, talking quietly with Ania. Grunt and Mordin stood nearby impatiently, smirking at them.

"Finally decided to show up?" Garrus chuckled, following Grunt and Mordin into the shuttle.

"Are you okay?" she asked. I could see the concern in her eyes and almost told her my troubles, but I couldn't burden her with this.

"I'm fine, Siha," I said and attempted a smile. I could see the doubt in her eyes. Ignoring her gaze, I entered the shuttle, taking the seat furthest from her.

We followed her through several Krogans who obviously didn’t want us on their planet. Ania glared at them and pushed them out of our way. Grunt followed close behind her, his excitement palatable. We approached a rocky throne, and I cringed when two Krogans stopped us from going forward. They glared at her smugly, and I waited to see what she would do.

"Shepard!" a deep voice called out from behind the guards in surprise and happiness.

"Hey, Wrex," Ania cried out jovially, clasping his arm.

“Shepard! It's good to see you again! Your visit is a little unexpected as I had heard you were dead," Wrex said, looking at her curiously.

"It’s a long story involving Cerberus; I'll tell you sometime over drinks," she laughed as they shared a grin the sent a chill of foreboding down my spine. I remembered Garrus' warning about letting Ania drink with Wrex.

"So, what brings you here?" Wrex asked, his voice taking on a more serious tone.

"I have a young Krogan on my team that has a problem. If I remember correctly from our conversations on board the Normandy, I would say he has hit puberty," Ania grimaced as Wrex gave a belly laugh.

"And is he still alive?" Wrex joked.

"I didn't kill him," she laughed, holding her hands up defensively.

"Nothing you do would surprise me. But you say he's coming into his own?" Wrex leaned forward, eyeing Grunt. "Where’s your clan?" he asked harshly.

"Warlord Okeer made me using the genes of the greatest Krogan warriors," Grunt answered belligerently.

"He’s tank bred, Wrex. Do you think you could help him?" Ania asked quietly.

I watched them as they spoke, coming up with a plan for Grunt. Garrus moved next to me, watching me intently. "Having second thoughts?" he asked quietly.

I glanced at him sharply, trying to hide my surprise. "No," I lied; well, half lied. I didn't want to give her up, but it was for the best. She would be happy with Garrus.

"Now, why don't I believe that?" he asked quietly with a knowing look in his eyes. It annoyed me that he was now able to read me so well.

"Leave it alone, Garrus," I snapped and moved away from him, which didn't help. My move brought me closer to Ania.

I glanced at the Krogan standing beside her. His intuitive eyes were watching me speculatively, but deeper still was a glint of danger. "I see you still have the Turian around," Wrex commented, smirking at Garrus. I backed away so Garrus could move up beside Ania. He and the Krogan bantered for a few moments before she interrupted.

I watched Wrex's expression as he caught Garrus’ hand brushing against Ania. His eyes narrowed as he glanced between them. He was about to say something when his focus turned to me. His eyes widened for a moment before he gave a thundering laugh. "You have been busy Shepard; about time you got rid of Kaidan. I always thought humans wouldn't do it for you. Looks like I was right. And don't bother denying it, those two gave it away," he chuckled, moving back to his throne.

He glanced at us once more before shaking his head in amusement. "Shepard, take your Krogan to see the Clan Shaman. Talk with him and he will tell you what you need to do."

We went to follow, but Wrex's authoritative voice stopped us. "You two will stay here," he said definitively. He watched Ania move out of sight before turning his lethal gaze toward us. He moved toward me, not even paying attention to Garrus. "Harm her, Drell, and you and I will have a meeting," he warned, glaring menacingly at me. He then turned to Garrus with narrowed eyes. "As for you, Garrus, it's about time you grew a back bone," he chuckled.

"What are you muttering about?" Garrus scowled.

"I wasn't blind, Turian," he smirked.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Ania’s point of view**

I watched Thane out of the corner of my eye. He seemed distant, and I couldn’t understand why he agreed to come along. I wasn't sure what was bothering him, but I planned on finding out as soon as we had some time alone, away from prying ears and eyes.

Garrus stayed in the background, keeping watch over the other Krogans as I talked with Wrex. Mordin waited patiently as I handled Grunt's problem. "So, what’s his problem?" Wrex asked as he nodded toward Mordin, who was fidgeting slightly.

"His former colleague is missing and we heard that he may have been taken by the Blood Pack," I shrugged, waiting for him to come up with an answer.

"Talk to my Chief Scout, he might have an answer for you," he nodded toward a Krogan on the outskirts of the camp.

"So, what are we doing first?" Grunt asked, looking at me excitedly.

"You're going through the ritual, and then we are going after Mordin's associate," I stated and glanced around to see what the others thought of the idea.

Thane seemed to be the only one lost in thought, as if he was distancing himself. I walked over to him and his eyes focused on me. "Is everything alright?" I asked worriedly.

"You need not worry, Siha," he said softly, not meeting my eyes.

"If you are having a problem focusing, you can stay here until we return," I stated softly so the others didn't overhear.

He gave me a searching look before nodding. "I think that might be best, Shepard," he stated brusquely. The coldness in his voice had me looking at him in shock as he turned his back and walked away. _What the hell was that all about? Yeah, I will definitely be having a talk with him as soon as we board the Normandy!_ I vowed.

I turned back to my team, who were all pretending that they hadn’t seen Thane walk away from me. _Smart people,_ I thought angrily. "Are we ready to head out?" I asked, heading toward the Tomkah and climbing inside.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Thane's point of view**

I watched them all drive away; a Krogan in the driver’s seat, forcing Ania to move to the back. _Smart move,_ I chuckled. I could feel someone watching me, sending a foreboding chill down my back. I glanced around to find Wrex glaring at me. I was about to walk in a different direction when three Krogans stopped me. "Wrex wants to see you," one of them stated coldly. I could have easily fought my way out of this, but I didn’t. Ania respected Wrex.

I nodded, following them towards their clan ruler. He stood there with his arms folded across his chest, a deadly look in his eyes. "So, Drell, you are the first person I've seen live who has walked away from Shepard like that. Either you are very stupid or you are trying to find a way to piss me off," he snarled.

"I don't see how what I did would affect you," I said mildly, readying myself for an attack.

"You turned your back on her; that is something I don't take kindly to. Another coward, like Kaidan," he growled. Anger burned through me at being measured to Kaidan of all people. I remembered vividly what he did to her in the café.

"Don't equate me with him," I sneered in a cold, deadly voice that made him hesitate.

He chuckled darkly as he walked closer. "Remember what I said, Drell? The time has come. No one hurts Shepard!" he thundered before taking a swing that I ducked. I moved a few feet away from him, bracing myself for his charge. He glanced at the Krogans around us and nodded. I expected them to attack, but they moved back, giving us room.

He charged toward me, and I spun out of the way at the last second, kicking him in the back as he passed me. He grunted, swinging around and catching me with a punch to the stomach that sent me flying. I landed against his throne, the breath momentarily knocked out of me. I rolled out of the way when he charged once more. It took everything in me not to use my training. I didn't want him dead; I could never do that to Ania.

I kicked out at his leg, though I knew it wouldn't do much. I leapt to my feet, swinging out and catching him in the soft spot beneath his jaw. He took a few steps back, startled. I moved quickly, hitting him once again and then hooking my fingers under his crest. I pulled with enough force that I felt it move; he glared at me murderously. "Enough! You can't kill me and I can't kill you…yet," he grumbled as we backed away from each other.

I walked away from him and went to the shuttle. I let the silence wrap around me, easing my tension. I knew I shouldn't have agreed to come with Ania; I should have stayed aboard the ship, where I could lock myself in my quarters. Some place where she wouldn’t be near me, changing my mind once again.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Ania’s point of view**

"Now, that was a fight," Grunt stated, bouncing in excitement as we walked into Wrex’s encampment. I glanced around and didn't see Thane anywhere. I knew something was wrong as soon as he said he wouldn't be coming.

"Huh, I shouldn't be shocked that you took down a Thresher Maw, since I'm the only other Krogan who has done it," Wrex grinned.

I grinned back, but it was watered down as I noticed a few bruises on his face. "So, what have you been up to since I left?" I asked him.

"Ah, nothing important," he shrugged, but wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Uh-huh. Where is Thane?" I asked, glancing around.

"You mean that Drell? He's back on the shuttle," Wrex scowled.

"Garrus, go get Thane. He's coming with us on the next run," I muttered. I turned to Grunt, "You can stay here and…" I drifted off, hoping he would get the point without me having to say it out loud.

"How long can he stay?" Wrex asked, eyeing the young Krogan.

"As long as he wants. If he wants to stay here after we leave, then that is his choice," I told him. We both turned our attention to Grunt, waiting for his answer.

"My place is with Shepard. When she leaves, so do I," he stated harshly.

"Well, at the moment you can stay and breed with some of the females. We will be docked here for a day or two," I told him as he grinned.

My attention turned toward Garrus and Thane as they made their way toward us. Thane looked like hell and Garrus looked worried. I walked over to them, out of earshot of the others. "Thane, is everything alright?" I asked softly.

"Yes, everything is fine," he muttered.

"Now, why don't I believe that?" I asked with a smirk, looking pointedly at his discolored eye.

"Worry not, Siha, I am fine," he said, finally meeting my eyes. He took a step toward me, taking one of my hands in his.

"Fine, I'll leave it alone for now," I grumbled. "Right now, you're coming with us as we go and save Mordin's old student.”

"My arm is yours, Siha," he murmured. I looked at him askance. This was the most formal I've heard him speak to me since we had met. The alarming part was how he seemed to be distancing himself. It not only worried me; it hurt to see it.

I gave him one final look before walking toward our ride. The Tomkah reminded me of the Mako aboard the old Normandy; though this one wasn't in as good a condition as the one I always drove. "Shepard, you can't be seriously thinking about driving!" Garrus shouted, outraged.

"You're damn right I'm driving," I grinned as he turned pale, an interesting feat for a Turian.

"I think I might stay behind for this one," he muttered.

"Wow, Garrus, I never thought I would see this day," I smirked.

"And what day would that be?" he asked hesitantly.

"The day you became a coward, and all because I'm driving," I grinned, taking any insult out of my words.

"Ania, anyone with half a brain wouldn't allow you to drive _any_ machine, let alone one this big," he grinned.

"Keep it up, Turian, and I'll take you for a ride you will never forget," I grumbled.

"Hmm, and here I thought you already did," he chuckled and winked. I swallowed, my cheeks heating at his implication.

"Just get into the damned thing," I grumbled. I hated being embarrassed.

We all climbed in and I took the driver’s seat. Garrus mumbled to himself as the vehicle started moving. Thane and Mordin sat on one bench, with Garrus opposite them. "Do you remember the way she drove us back after we picked you up the first time we met you?” Garrus asked Thane.

"Yes, what about it?" Thane answered, confused.

"She's ten times worse in a Mako; and this Tomkah is bigger than any Mako I have ever seen," he muttered.

"Garrus, I'm not that bad; besides, there are no mountains around here to worry about. I don’t even think this thing can do half the things I want it to do," I grumbled, feeling disappointed.

"And I am grateful for that," Garrus laughed.

                                                                                ~ooo~

The mission was quick, though not particularly easy, especially for Mordin; who found out that his student was there on his own accord. I let him make the decision as to what should be done with Maelon, but I had him keep the data on the Krogan genophage. It was something that would be important later, should he wish to continue with the research.

We were just boarding the Normandy and I was ready for some relaxation, but first I needed to hunt down a certain Drell and find out what the hell was wrong with him. He had better have some good answers or there would be problems.

He wasn't in Life Support, so I tried the practice area. I found him there, still in his leathers, but without the jacket. I leaned against the bulkhead, watching him move across the mats.

He moved with infinite grace; every hit was calculated for maximum damage. I stripped out my coat, leaving me in only a tank top. My boots disappeared next, just before I stepped onto the mat. He swung around, striking out. I dodged the swing, and countered with a swipe to his legs. We sparred for a few moments before he backed off.

"Why are you here?" he asked hoarsely, taking a few steps away from me.

"We need to talk," I stated coldly.

"Shepard, now is not the time," he stated, turning his back and heading for the door. I watched him walk away, hurt coursing through me.

"You're right, now isn't the time. You should know, however, that we are heading for the Citadel; so you need to make up your mind soon as to what you want to do," I said harshly and brushed by him as I left the Cargo Bay.

I felt his body stiffen and saw the pain in his eyes as I walked away from him. He grasped my arm, stopping me from moving, "Ania…" he began quietly.

"Thane, let go of my arm," I ordered.

"No," he said calmly as he spun me so I was pinned up against the wall with both of my hands locked behind me. "I've been trying to avoid this, avoid _you_. I was ready to give you up, but I can't let you go. I'm not strong enough to push you away, so you won’t feel the burden of my sickness." He closed his eyes with his head bowed, and a tear slipped down his cheek. I forced him to look at me, brushing the tear away with my thumb as I caressed his cheek.

"It’s a little late for that, or are you blind to my feelings?" I asked coldly, breaking his hold on me. I made to walk away once again, but he grabbed my arm again, pulling me back into the Cargo Hold and pushing me face-first against the wall, his lean body pressed against mine. He laced his fingers through mine, pulling them up above my head and his hot breath fanned against my neck. "Thane…" I whispered hoarsely.

He slowly dragged his hands down my arms firmly so I didn't move them from their position. My breath caught as shivers ran down my body. I tried to take a step back so I could turn and face him, but he pressed me firmly into the wall, his hips pressed against mine. I could feel the ridged length of him through his leather pants.

"Don't move," he whispered, his voice a sensual purr against my neck. I gasped as his lips travelled over my hypersensitive skin, his fingers still trailing lightly along my arms, making me very aware of him.

The pressure at my back moved away and I felt bereft at his absence. I was about to move, to leave, but he was behind me once again, his hands grasping my waist tightly in warning. I looked over my shoulder at him; heat and passion smoldered within his eyes.

Slowly he turned me, pressing me back against the wall with my arms still raised above my head. He leaned in close, his hot breath feathering along my skin as he took in my scent. "You should have stayed away," he murmured, nipping along my neck, the tip of his tongue following. I gasped, trying to jerk my arms free from his firm grasp. I couldn't move them; he tightened his grip to almost bruising, forcing them to remain above my head.

"I'm not going to leave you," I whispered hoarsely.

His tongue trailed along my jaw until it lightly swept across my lips, seeking entrance. I moaned and he slipped in, tasting and exploring me as I did the same. He moved closer, forcing my head to tilt back as he deepened the kiss with just lips and tongues. He broke away gasping, his breath fanning against me, further enflaming my passion.

 _More_ , I thought dizzily. The feelings he elicited in me were different from anything that I had ever felt before. With just his touch, and a few well-placed kisses, he was igniting my body, causing a deep ache between my legs. I desperately wanted him to touch me; I needed to feel his mouth there. But he had other ideas.

He unlaced our fingers, his hands slowly dragging down my arms, following along them until he came to my chest, barely brushing against my breasts. That one small touch sent shock waves through my body, and I found it hard to breathe. My heart was racing; he was being so attentive to every reaction of my body. His penetrating gaze seeing every response I gave to him.

Slowly, so slowly that I was almost begging him to stop his torture, he finally ran his thumb over my hardened nipple. I moaned, my eyes fluttering closed as sensations ran through my body. My skin was overloaded, everything he did felt ten times better than any other time someone else had touched me.

My mind fogged over as I watched him duck his head. I felt his lips suckling, pulling and then teeth nipping my puckered flesh through my flimsy top. My head fell back and I gasped, my hands moving to grasp his head, running along the red lines on each side. He groaned, taking my hands in his once more, placing them back on the wall.

"Stay there. Let me pleasure you," he whispered against my chest. His voice reverberated through my body, sending tiny shivers of ecstasy over me. I whimpered, my legs turning to jelly. He seemed too noticed and moved in closer, using his one leg between mine to help support me. I cried out as his leg brushed against my wetness. He moved his leg again, slowly, languidly; staring deeply into my eyes as he did it. My vision clouded as I came close to finding my release. He must have seen how close I was because he moved back a step.

The cold air rushed over my sensitive skin, but it didn't help calm me. I gazed at him wide-eyed, not sure what he expected from me, or why he was taking so much care, showing me so much pleasure. He smiled tenderly, his strong arms wrapping around me, pulling me into his secure embrace. His head rested on top of my own, and he ran his hand along my back.

I lifted my head languidly to look at him. He smiled, brushing light kisses across my cheeks until he found my mouth. His tongue slipped between my lips, agilely dueling with mine. I raised one hand hesitantly, cupping his cheek and he grasped it, holding it against his heated skin.

His other hand wrapped around my waist, and he turned me as if we were dancing. He walked me backwards until I felt something soft beneath my feet. His lips never left mine as we explored each other. The hand around my waist slipped beneath my shirt, lifting it up as he explored my skin with slow sensual caresses that burned through me. "Thane, please, no more teasing," I moaned as he lifted up my shirt and sucked hard on my nub, pulling it taunt. I cried out, clutching his head to me as he slowly licked it.

"This isn't teasing, Siha," he murmured, moving his head to my other breast. "Kneel for me." I knelt with him, pulling off my shirt in the process. He gazed down at me, purring low in his throat as he gently caressed my skin. His fingers slowly traced my scars, his mouth following behind them, kissing each and every one. My eyes misted over; no one had ever done that. Most of my lovers had ignored or avoided them.

He laid me back, and I gasped as the cold mats touched my flushed skin. It was almost too much for my overloaded system. He stood up, leaving me there for only a moment. He quickly came back with his jacket, spreading it out on the mat. In one smooth motion, he moved me onto it, the warm material soothing after the coldness of the mat.

"We shouldn't use your jacket," I murmured as I watched him kneel above me. Slowly he stripped out of his vest. My eyes roamed over him leisurely. I could see that he was straining against his pants. I closed my eyes, wanting to remember this moment; him looming above me with passion in his eyes.

"Siha, open your eyes," he whispered just before his skin brushed against mine. I gasped, my eyes flying open as he stared at me from millimeters away. I leaned up, capturing his mouth with mine; the kiss was slow and passionate, eliciting moans from each of us. His hand slid down my stomach, running along my pants until he found my heat. I arched against him, breaking away from the kiss with a cry of pleasure. He trailed kisses down my body, his tongue flicking across the skin just below the belt of my pants. I writhed with need, begging silently for him to continue.

I felt the buttons on my pants open, and long graceful fingers found my core. I ground myself against his hand, moaning loudly, and then whimpered as he pulled his hand away. With a swift motion, he tossed away my pants and underwear.

His dark eyes watched me as he explored me with his fingers, slipping into me. My back arched as he found that one place deep within me. His fingers flicked over it until he brought me to my release, screaming. I gazed up at him, panting heavily as he licked each of his fingers, tasting me. "I'm sorry, Siha, I can't wait any more," he whispered hoarsely. I reached for him, pulling him down onto me.

"Then don't wait," I whispered just before his mouth slashed across mine. His tongue slid along mine, and he deepened the kiss as I felt him prepare to enter me. His tongue flicked in and out of my mouth, mimicking what was to come. I caught his tongue between my teeth, gently sucking on it. He groaned, thrusting into me in one swift motion.

I cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure; he was larger than I expected. My body tensed beneath him, not sure if I could handle his size. He stilled, giving me a chance to adjust, and his hand slipped between our bodies, finding my nub. With a few skilled motions, he had me panting and moaning once again. The pain and discomfort were forgotten as my passion grew.

Slowly he began to move, rotating his hips in circular motions that felt like he was touching me everywhere inside. I rocked my hips with his, wanting him to go harder and faster. His hands slowly trailed up my arms, lacing our fingers together; making the contact so much more intimate.

My eyes fluttered closed as the pleasure grew and I could feel myself coming to another climax. "Open your eyes, Siha. I want to see you as you find your release," he murmured, lightly kissing me. I kept my focus on him; the feeling of his body moving within me, the pleasure he was bringing me and the emotion I could see in his eyes.

My climax hit me, my back arching up, grinding against his hand. He thrust deep with me, increasing my pleasure, and I cried out his name. He rode my orgasm, using his body to create more pleasure. When I slumped to the floor lazily, he hitched my legs to his shoulders, moving to his knees, his hands still laced with mine. I watched as he lost himself in his own pleasure, bringing me to the brink once more. I had a glimpse of him finding his release, my name whispered on his lips. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

He collapsed forward, supporting himself on his arms. "I would continue this, but I don't think we have time before someone comes to get you," he smiled softly, idly tracing a finger along my face.

"Hmm, I would love to continue, as well, but you are right," I smiled sadly, running my hand along his cheek.

He stood up on shaky legs before reaching down for my hand; I rose to my feet with his help. He pulled me into a hug, holding me securely in his arms "We should go, Siha. If we stay here, I cannot promise I will not continue," he murmured, brushing my hair from my face.

"Hmm, tempting," I whispered, giving him a light kiss that slowly deepened.

He broke away gasping, his forehead resting against mine. "I should leave," he muttered.

My gaze travelled down his body, a smirk hovering over my mouth, "Are you sure?" I asked, lightly brushing my hand against him. He moaned low and throatily, his hands clutching my skin, and he buried his face in my shoulder. I grasped him firmly in my hand, stroking him.

Slowly I knelt before him, looking up the length of his body. He stared at me with passion filled eyes. "Siha…" he choked on the words as I took him in my mouth. I moaned as I tasted his saltiness.

**Thane's point of view**

I watched as she moved down my body, her gaze never leaving mine. My breath caught in my throat. I had come in here to work off my frustration with regards to her. I was about to surrender and let her and Garrus be together, without having to share. Then she walked in. I could feel her eyes on me as she watched me move across the mats, and I tried to ignore her.

She joined me in my practice, her scent surrounding me, her eyes already shining with passion. I stopped the sparring, hoping she would leave me to my torment. She told me why she was here, and I wanted to yell at the unfairness of it. I had already planned on going to the Citadel once this mission was over. I planned on spending the rest of my days there so I could be with my son.

That plan came crashing down when I saw the pain in her eyes as I turned to leave. I watched her walk away and my heart broke in two. I stopped her, and saw the hope and pleasure shining brightly in her eyes. I let myself go and did the one thing I had wanted to do since the first moment I saw her.

My first thought was to surrender to my own pleasure, but each gasp she made, each shiver that rushed through her body made me want to do more. I wanted to stoke her passions and watch as she found her pleasure. At first she looked shocked, and I mourned the fact that she had never had this amount of pleasure bestowed onto her before.

She was burning in my arms, her whispered pleas bringing me more pleasure than I had known in years. I laced our fingers together, the most intimate act for a Drell. It is a showing of trust between the two who were being intimate with each other; a sign of connection and unity toward each other. It felt so right to hold her this way.

I walked her to the mat, always keeping my body in contact with hers. The feel of her soft skin against mine took my breath away. I'd been with humans before and I had never reacted this way before. It had always been simple; finding temporary release when it was needed.

I couldn't wait any more to unite us, and I had heard her gasps of pleasure and pain as I entered her. It hurt that I had harmed her, even unintentionally, so I stayed still, fighting ever instinct within me, giving her time to adjust. Eventually, I felt her move, taking me deeper. I groaned, moving slowly within her.

She was so alive with me, so passionate, that she reacted to everything I did, every move I made. When she found her pleasure, her eyes would widen and her skin would flush. She looked beautiful.

I found my own release, as she came again, her muscles squeezing tightly around me.

I knew she would be sore, so I made an excuse so we could stop. Now she was on her knees before me, her gaze locked with mine, watching my every reaction. I wanted to grab her and drive into her until we both collapsed to the floor panting for breath, but she deserved better than that, and it would give her no pleasure.

I pulled her away from me when I felt myself nearing the edge. I pulled her to her feet, kissing her deeply. She explored my mouth, deepening the kiss even more. I moaned, pulling her close to me. She startled me by jumping up and wrapping her legs around my waist.

I groaned as I felt her heat brush against me. The control I had been fighting for was almost lost, but I fought to keep it. Slowly I entered her, being careful not to harm her this time. She smirked, lowering herself onto me forcefully. My control snapped. I pushed her up against the closest wall and pounded into her.

She writhed in my arms, her teeth scraping my shoulder. I thrust a final time; spilling myself deep within her, bringing her to yet another climax. She clamped her teeth onto my shoulder, and I felt my own pleasure building once more. I found release the second time, my teeth breaking soft skin. I collapsed to the floor, with her still on my lap. We lay together, panting heavily.

Never had I experienced something like this, something so emotional. It was scary, but also exhilarating.

We both turned toward the door as we heard pounding on it. We glanced at each other, then to our clothes, which were on the other side of the room. This did not bode well. If it was just Garrus it wouldn't be that bad, but the odds of that were slim.

I chuckled as we both struggled to our feet, but it was no use; my legs wouldn't hold me at the moment and neither would hers. She fell back to the ground with a laugh. "Well, I guess we are about to be caught red handed," she quipped. I nodded, laughing quietly.

The doors opened, and Garrus walked in. He stopped and stared for a moment before glowering and stomping over to our clothes. He tossed them to us, grumbling to himself.

"If I were you, the next time I would take this elsewhere; not where just anyone could walk in on you," he scolded before storming out of the room.

I watched Ania as she struggled with herself and stared at the door Garrus had just left through. I wasn't sure what to say to her; nothing I could say would make this better for her.

"I think we should leave," she muttered. I knew she would be leaving to talk with Garrus. I just hoped that things would work themselves out. If they didn’t, I wasn’t sure what any of us would do…


	12. Chapter 12

I went hunting for Garrus, though I didn't know what the hell I would say once I found him. I knew this plan of theirs wasn't going to work. I had warned them both, but did they listen? No, of course not! Why should they listen to common sense? Why don't we make this a threesome so we can all be miserable? Wow, that sounds like such a brilliant idea. I wish I could go back in time and kick both of their asses.

I arrived at the Main Battery and found it locked. _Oh, I so don't think so!_ I thought furiously. "Garrus, open this goddamned door or I'm going to bust it open!" I yelled.

I counted to ten and the light on the door turned green. "Hold on, Ania!" he called out, his voice sounding breathless and panicked. _What the hell was going on?_

"Garrus, will you open up, dammit!" I snapped, kicking the door in the process. It slid open and he stood there, blocking my path, which completely threw me off guard.

"Is there something you wanted?" he asked casually.

"Yeah! What the hell happened in the cargo hold?" I spat angrily.

"Um… can we talk about this later?" he asked nervously.

"No, we can't," I stated, moving closer to him. I stopped as a familiar scent came to me, though I was having trouble placing it.

"Ania, this isn't a good time…" he trailed off, clearing his throat as he shifted in place. _Now what the hell was going on?_ I thought irritably. _If I didn't know better, I would say he was embarrassed about something._

"Garrus, what's going on?" I asked trying to put the pieces together, but having no luck.

"What makes you think something is going on?" he asked, swallowing anxiously.

"Oh, maybe the way you are acting has something to do with that," I stated with a raised brow. I moved closer to him; the scent was stronger, and my eyes widened as I finally realized its source. I opened my mouth to say something, but all I managed was a rather wide grin. As he saw my reaction, shame entered his eyes and he stared down at the floor.

"Well, pity I missed out," I grinned slyly, turning to go. His eyes widened and he reached for me but I backed away from him. "I'll leave you to finish…" I chuckled.

"It would be better if you were here with me," he replied, giving me a suggestive look.

"It would be, but there are things to do," I grinned and stepped quickly away from him. I hurried away before he could change my mind and headed for the CIC. Kelly looked up from her terminal and grinned, winking at me.

"Don't even start, Kelly," I muttered, avoiding her gaze. "So, are there any messages for me?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yes, there are a few for you, from a Kaidan Alenko. He wants to see you as soon as you return to the Citadel," she said with an apologetic smile.

"Damn, I wonder what he wants," I muttered.

"Mordin would also like to see you,” she added. “He said it’s important."

"Thanks Kelly," I murmured as I headed for the lab. I wondered what he wanted. I thought we had discussed everything we needed to.

I walked out of the elevator and noticed that Thane and Garrus were sitting at one of the tables, talking quietly as they ate. "Siha, is there something wrong?" Thane asked.

"I'm not sure; Mordin asked to see me," I told him.

I watched him swallow and look at me nervously. "Do you wish me to accompany you?" he asked hoarsely.

"No, if it's pertaining to you, I'll come and get you," I told him softly, laying a consoling hand on his shoulder. He laced his fingers with mine, smiling gently. "I have to go,” I said, turning away.

I left them there and entered the lab. Mordin was at his desk, looking over some samples. "Mordin, you wanted to see me?" I interrupted him.

"Wait a moment, Shepard," he muttered absently as he punched more information into his omnitool. I waited and walked around his lab as he worked.

"Good, done for a moment," he muttered, motioning toward a chair. "Remove you jacket and sit." I watched him carefully as I did what he asked. I took a seat with my jacket draped over my lap. He removed my jacket, moving it to another chair.

"Mordin, what is going on?" I asked.

"Need skin samples and blood for more tests; must see how pill worked," he stated firmly.

"Well, I can answer that question without the tests. The pills work very well. I have not had any allergic reaction to Thane or Garrus since I started taking them," I said with a smirk. He didn't look shocked or appalled at my declaration.

"Still need to do tests. Hold out your arm and relax," he explained, holding my arm firmly as he approached it with a needle. I didn't bother watching as he took my blood, nor when I felt scraping against my skin. "Come back in one hour; results will be ready." He nodded and went straight to his workbench.

"Mordin, what are these tests about?" I asked. Something wasn't adding up and I was sure he wasn't telling me everything.

"Told you. Need to see how pill worked. Come back later!" he stated brusquely.

"Mordin, what aren't you telling me?" I asked coldly.

He stared at me for a moment without answering and then turned back to his work. I sighed and left him alone. Garrus and Thane were still sitting quietly. I took a seat next to them as the Mess Hall started filling for lunch. "So, what did he want?" Garrus asked.

"He wanted to do some tests for the pills he gave me," I answered.

He grinned, "Did you tell him those pills are working fine?"

"Yes I did, but that wasn't enough for him. I have to return to him in an hour," I muttered.

"He's a scientist; it’s too be expected, Siha. He needs proof to believe," Thane murmured. "What else is bothering you?" Thane asked, staring at me intently. I hesitated, not sure how to tell them about the messages. I knew they didn't like Kaidan and I was worried about how they would react to knowing he wanted to see me.

"Ania!" Garrus said sharply when I hesitated.

I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "I got a message from Kaidan; he wants to meet with me. Why I don't know," I muttered, grimacing as I watched both pairs of eyes fill with anger.

"And when were you going to tell us?" Garrus asked coldly.

"When I figured out if I was going to talk to him or not," I snapped, annoyed that I was being put on the spot.

"So when do we leave here? I'm getting tired of Wrex hounding me with questions," he muttered.

"Tomorrow, if all goes as planned. Hopefully Grunt will be worn out enough that he won't destroy my ship from raging hormones. The last thing I need is a sexually frustrated Krogan on my ship," I smirked.

Thane grinned. "That would be most prudent," he winked.

"Anyway, I'm going back to CIC and get things ready for our departure," I said, rising to leave.

"Siha, you haven't eaten," Thane reminded me.

"Don't worry, I'll eat later," I sighed.

Garrus snorted. "No, you won't. You'll forget all about it while you work yourself to exhaustion," he said, glaring at me knowingly.

"He's right, Siha," Thane added, smiling softly.

I sighed, realizing they would not stop until I relented. "Fine, I'll eat right now," I grumbled. I was about to go grab a plate when Gardener placed one in front of me. I looked down at the food and tried not to think of it much as I swallowed.

"Gardener, I think you need another shopping spree when we get to the Citadel," I muttered, glaring at him.

"Don’t worry, Commander, I plan on it. Miranda already threatened me if I don't get proper food soon," he replied.

"Gardener, it's not Miranda you have to worry about," I warned him.

"I hear you," he grumbled walking away.

"Shepard, Grunt is back on the ship," Joker announced over the comm. "He's in a better mood, too. I think I should make my way down to the planet if it makes you smile like that," he joked.

"I don't think you can handle what they do down there, Joker," I told him, chuckling softly.

"Man, Shepard, always raining on my parade," he quipped.

"Poor Joker. Why don’t you take us to the Citadel and maybe you can find some action there," I grinned.

"Better hope he doesn't find too much 'action' or we won't have a pilot," Garrus smirked.

"Well, we could ask Kelly to help him with his ‘problem’," I suggested, laughing at the horrified look which crossed the Turian’s face.

"You wouldn't! That woman is…." he trailed off in disgust.

"He is right, Siha, Kelly is not a wise choice," Thane flinched and I had to wonder what happened to have both these men reacting this way.

"Whatever. I need to go see if Mordin has those results yet," I told them as I finished my plate. I was fairly sure the hour deadline had passed.

"Do you wish us to go with you?" Thane asked.

"You can if you want," I shrugged. I already knew what Mordin would say, so it didn’t really matter. This was going to be a short visit.

I walked into Mordin’s lab; he glanced up and I saw a startled look pass over his face, which he quickly hid. He did something to his terminal and walked over to us. Thane and Garrus stood by the doorway.

"Good, have the results," he said brusquely, using his omnitool to scan me. His forehead wrinkled in concentration as he read the results. He next approached Thane and Garrus, taking a scan of them both.

"Need you both to sit. Must take blood sample from each of you!" he ordered, pointing to some chairs.

"Why do they need testing? I'm the one with the reaction," I asked, confused.

"They have reactions, though not as serious as yours," he answered absently. I noticed a slight twitch in his hand as he approached them. _What the hell is going on?_ I wondered. I glanced at Thane; he was watching Mordin carefully. Obviously, he had noticed the quiver, as well. We watched as he inserted the needle into Garrus’ arm; dark blue blood filled the needle. I met Thane's eyes and could tell that he was as curious as I was.

Thane went next, his leather jacket sitting across his lap. "Has there been any word yet on a cure?" Thane asked quietly.

"Have discovered a possible cure, but more study is needed. This is another option. If tests show what I think they will, we should have cure soon," he answered. My breath caught in my throat as I noticed the hope shining in his eyes.

Heaviness settled over me; I had a hard time meeting Thane’s eyes when he glanced my way. I knew what Mordin was talking about, at least in part, but I didn't remember him mentioning another option when we spoke before. Any cure that didn’t involve risking our current mission would be more than I could ever have hoped for.

"Siha…" Thane interrupted my musings as he raised his hand and caressed my cheek. I jumped and looked at him in surprise. I tried to smile, but it felt forced, even to me.

"Don’t worry, I am fine, but I need to speak to Mordin for a moment," I said pointedly to the both of them.

"We will see you later, Ania," Garrus said, leading Thane from the room. As the door slid closed, I turned toward the Salarian in front of me.

"Mordin, I would suggest you start talking!" I growled coldly.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he answered, averting his gaze.

"You know, Mordin, I used to kill people for lying to me. I killed my old mentor because he lied to me. What makes you so different?" I asked coldly.

I could see that he was trying to decide what to say. "I understand, Shepard. Sit and I'll show you," he said. I looked at him askance as he brought over a laptop, placing it before me. "Watch."

 **Garrus' point of view** nia left Mordin's office; her skin pale and her eyes glazed over. She didn't even glance at us, heading straight to the elevator.

"What do you make of that?" I asked Thane.

"I'm not sure, but I would say the news was disturbing," he muttered, rising to his feet.

We headed to her quarters, but found the door locked. "I'm sorry, but Shepard gave specific orders that she is not to be disturbed by anyone," EDI told us before flickering out.

"Well, this is a first where she won't allow us in," I muttered. Thane ordered the elevator to the second deck.

"Yes, it is odd. She obviously needs time. When she is ready, she will talk," he said mildly as he walked over to Life Support.

I went to the Main Battery, pacing back and forth. Something wasn't right; Mordin had upset her and now she was shutting us out. I didn’t know what to do as our relationship was tenuous, at best. We still had a lot to work out, especially after my reaction to finding the both of them on the floor, wrapped together. I hadn't expected to react that way. I had always assumed that I would be upset if I caught them together, but it had been the complete opposite.

Now Ania was in her room, banning us from it. That hurt more than I wanted to admit. Thane didn't seem to think anything of it, but I had known Ania for far longer than him and she wouldn't have reacted that way without a reason. I headed to the Mess Hall, hoping that a drink would calm my nerves.

I glanced up when I heard the elevator door open. Ania hurried to the kitchen, grabbed some bottled liquids and headed back the way she had come.

"Ania, what happened?" I asked, stopping her before she disappeared.

"Mordin gave me some information that I need to really think about. If I agree to his plan, I will need to allow something that I have always been completely against," she told me quietly. "So now I have to think. I’ll be in the sparring room, if anyone needs me," she muttered.

I watched her walk back to the elevator and wondered why she didn’t refuse Mordin’s plan if this was bothering her so much. Thane moved up beside me, interrupting my thoughts.

"So what do you make of what she said?" I asked him.

"I think it might have to do with the procedures that Mordin was talking about," he muttered, glancing away guiltily.

"Well, you know Ania. She isn’t one to let anything stop her," I told him.

                                                                ~oooo~

**Ania’s point of view**

I hit the board, the impact vibrating up my arm with a satisfying sting. I kicked out, my foot connecting to the board with a thud. The doors opened and I didn’t look up; I already knew who it was. I had known they would follow me.

I kicked out again, thinking about my conversation with Mordin. "I will need an answer soon, but in the meantime, continue taking the pills," he had ordered.

"Fine, but if Thane finds out about this, Mordin, I will hunt you down. He doesn’t need this on his conscience!" I replied heatedly.

"I know, Shepard. Would never speak to Thane about this!" he stated, and he appeared almost offended that I would make such a suggestion.

"Good. Garrus cannot know, either," I stated coldly.

My stomach turned as I continued pounding on the exercise boards. I was hiding something big from them, something they needed to know, but I couldn't allow them to find out, at least not now. Thane would blame himself for our plan and Garrus would be horrified. I didn’t know what to do; I hadn’t planned on running into Garrus after I locked myself in my room. EDI told me they had attempted to get in, but I simply wasn’t ready to face them.

"Shepard, what did Mordin have to say?" Garrus asked. Damn, he was using my last name once again. Oh, well. There was nothing I could do about it now.

"I'm not talking about it!" I stated harshly as I launched another attack on the board. I felt it crack under the force of my kick. My shin throbbed from the impact, but I didn't care. It helped clear my mind a bit.

"Siha," Thane said softly, and I felt my resolve slipping slightly.

"Don't ask, Thane. You are not getting an answer, either!" I said severely.

The room fell silent and I felt like shit; I couldn't meet either of their eyes or they would see the full impact of how much this was affecting me.

"As you wish, Siha," Thane murmured formally. Fuck! I'd hurt him once again.

I stopped kicking the last two boards and turned to him. He was walking toward the door to leave. Garrus stood there, smirking at me. He knew I had fucked up big time and couldn’t resist gloating.

"Thane, I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this, not yet," I explained, my voice shaky. _Damn!_ I thought angrily. _I am really going to have to work on this ‘sorry’ thing so that my voice doesn’t crack each time I say it. It seems like I will be saying it a lot in this relationship._ That was the one thing I missed about Kaidan, I never had to apologize. Whatever I did was fine with him because I was his commanding officer.

He walked over to me, taking my hands in his. "Siha, what bothers you so?" he asked quietly.

"Thane, you have to learn how to make her grovel some," Garrus grumbled.

Thane gave him a dirty look before turning back to me. "Siha, you can't keep this bottled up inside of you," he stated seriously.

"I know, but trust me when I say it is for the best, at least for now," I whispered. This situation could only be known to Mordin and me.

"Shepard, this isn’t like you to do something your against," Garrus muttered. I stared at him for a moment before shaking my head. His eyes widened as he hissed. "There’s only one reason you would do this…." he trailed off, glancing at Thane.

"Don't you start jumping to conclusions," I grumbled at him. "Nothing is carved in stone yet and won’t be for a while," I told them both.

"So, why are you so worried about it then?" Garrus asked confusedly.

"You really have to ask that question?" I asked.

He held up his hands, taking a step back. "Fine, I'll leave it alone, though I do have one other question," he added. He stood there, his mandibles twitching; a sure sign that he was trying not to laugh.

"What?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Are we going to hear Miranda ranting again about the destruction of your room?" he asked, chuckling.

I bowed my head, not meeting his gaze; my cheeks burning bright red. "Maybe," I mumbled. I glanced up when Garrus laughed out loud. Thane’s hand was covering his mouth, but I knew for damn sure that Drell was laughing.

"The two of you go laugh somewhere else. I'm going to continue venting here," I muttered, heading back to the mats.

"Do you need a partner, Siha?" Thane asked.

"No she doesn't! My room isn't a rutting room. You want to spar with her, take her to _your_ room," Grunt exclaimed, drawing our attention. I turned to see the Krogan standing over by his bed. I hadn’t even realized he was here.

"Don't worry, Grunt, we won't be using this place again," I smirked at him.

"Shepard, heard we are headed to the Citadel. Can we pick up upgrades for my armor?" he asked and showed me a hole in his armor.

"I’m not even going to ask how you got that, but go to Jacob and have him look at it," I muttered, the burning in my cheeks coming back with a vengeance.

"Krogan females are feisty; you should have been Krogan," he said as he left the three of us alone.

"If you’re that close to a Krogan female, I would have to question the time you spent with Wrex on the Normandy," Garrus muttered, glancing at me expectantly.

"Garrus, there are some things I will not talk about, and that happens to be one of them. Me and Wrex? I don't think so," I sighed irritably.

So now that I had to the both of them pacified for the time being, I hoped things might settle down. However, there was still Mordin and his plan to consider. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to say anything about it to either of them.

"Ania, have you figured out what you are going to do with the ass?" Garrus asked.

"You mean Kaidan? No, I don't know," I scowled at him.

"I think, Siha, you should speak with him," Thane murmured thoughtfully. I didn't like the look in his eyes; it made me wonder what he may be planning.

“Really, and what are you thinking of doing, Thane?" I asked hesitantly.

"Depends on Alenko, Siha," he smiled and walked out of the practice room.

"Garrus, do you know what he is up to?" I asked as he started heading toward the door.

"No, but I could guess. Make the meeting; we will be going with you," he snapped, the doors closing behind him.

I stared at the empty room, no longer in the mood to fight. I had made up my mind and it was time to talk to Mordin.


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey, Shepard, we'll be docking at the Citadel in a few hours. Do you wish me to announce that there will be shore leave?" Joker's voice snapped me awake. I glanced at the clock beside the bed and groaned; 4:30 am.

"Joker, if you announce anything at this time, people will be visiting you in the cockpit and it won't be pretty; and don’t think I will stop them," I grumbled, burrowing deeper into my pillow, scowling as he laughed before cutting off the comm. I was hoping to fall back to sleep, but Garrus had other ideas. His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me closer; I could feel that his plates were almost fully shifted.

"What is he doing in the cockpit this early in the morning?" Garrus muttered from behind me, running his hand lightly along my skin.

"Beats the hell out of me, but when I find out…" I trailed off as his hand slid down my stomach, moving further south.

"You will be too busy to find out until we dock at the Citadel," he purred in my ear as he found my center; his talon slipping between my lips, flicking my sensitive nub lightly.

"Garrus, we don't have time," I moaned.

He lightly nipped my shoulder, growling against my skin. I moaned, shivering as he bit harder, his finger thrusting into me carefully, his talon scraping along my inner wall; nearly distracting me from the erection pressing against my rear. My eyes widened as one hand toyed with my breast while the other hand found the most sensitive spot deep within me.

My eyes crossed as he moved his fingers, his mouth against my shoulder so that the vibration of his purring swept through my body, heightening my pleasure. He moved his hips so that I could feel his hardness rubbing in between my cheeks. Panting, I ground myself against him. He groaned, thrusting hard against me. I squirmed against the friction of him and gasped as I felt his head rubbing against an area that had never before been penetrated. Pleasure shot through me as he moved once more, putting more pressure against me. I moaned loudly, writhing as he held me in place.

I felt my ecstasy building as I was pleasured from both the front and the back. I threw my head back, resting it on Garrus' shoulder. My orgasm rushed over me, and I screamed, bucking against him; the pain of his entrance diminishing in the wake of my release. He shoved the rest of himself inside of me and I groaned, convulsing around his fingers. He moved in and out of me smoothly, his sharp pointed teeth scraping along my skin.

He rolled so that he was on his back and I was lying atop him. He moved my legs so that my knees were pressed against my chest. One arm holding me in place, his other hand caressing me, his fingers slipping in and out. My whole body tightened, convulsing around him as another orgasm ripped through me.

I felt him swelling, filling me, and I soared over the edge, his sharp, pointed teeth sinking into my skin. He held me tightly as I felt him release inside of me. I gasped in pain and pleasure as I stretched more than I had ever been in that particular area. We stayed locked together as my rear muscles tightened, holding him in place as it tried to resume its normal size. He gasped and I tensed, hearing him hiss. I knew he was in pain, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't relax now that the pleasure I had felt faded.

"Shepard, I need you to relax," Garrus grunted, his voice strained and filled with pain.

"I can't, this is a first for me," I muttered, my face starting to burn in embarrassment.

"You mean you've never…." he trailed off, averting his eyes.

"No," I answered him.

"I thought this was normal for humans from the videos Mordin sent," he muttered. "Sorry, this is going to hurt," he whispered hoarsely as he slowly pulled out. My body protested as I whimpered, not from pleasure. "I'm sorry, Ania."

I sighed in relief when I felt him leave me. Without warning, I felt a spasm in my stomach and I groaned in pain, curling myself into a ball. "I don't think we are going to try that for a while," I grumbled, giving him a watered down smile.

"Ania, I should get Mordin. You're bleeding," he said, his voice anxious. I nodded my head; this was a first for me and there was slight pain, but I wasn't sure if it was normal. I had never bothered looking up this information before.

"EDI, have Mordin come to Shepard's quarters," Garrus ordered as he slipped his pants back on. He looked at me worriedly. "Thane is going to kill me when he finds out," he grumbled, shaking his head.

"What do you mean 'when he finds out'? Who's going to tell him?" I asked him, shocked beyond belief that he would bring up Thane's name at this time.

"Ania, you know he will find out," Garrus muttered, rubbing the back of his fringes. It was almost amusing how worked up he was getting over Thane; the one person that had been his rival. I was about to say more, but stopped as the door to my room opened. My first instinct was to threaten the intruder as I rushed to cover myself up, but what would have been the point? Mordin walked toward the bed, his eyes widening as he neared.

"You sent for me, Garrus?" he asked with a touch of uncertainty. I watched as they moved to the other side of the room, talking so softly that I couldn't hear them.

Mordin came back over to the bed, taking a scan of my lower stomach and rear. "Some minor tearing, bruised rectal wall. Vigorous sex, not good for first time, especially with Turian length and thickness. Would recommend using lubrication next time," he stated brusquely. He passed me a pill as I blushed furiously. Garrus was avoiding both our eyes, which I didn’t blame him for one bit.

"Any more problems, come down to the lab. I would abstain from sexual intercourse for two hours; wait until pill takes effect. Have lubrication down in lab if needed," he stated with a smirk before the doors of the elevator closed on him.

"Well, that was rather awkward," I muttered, climbing out of bed. "I'm jumping in the shower, and then I'm heading onto the Citadel," I told him. "Could you ask Thane to meet us up here since the both of you demanded to come along?"

"Sure, but I'm getting rid of the sheets first," he grumbled as I looked toward the bed. The covers were spotted with blood. There wasn't that much, but he seemed worried about it. I shrugged, not really carrying what he did with them.

**Thane's point of view**

Garrus asked me to come to Ania’s suite and I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew he had spent the night with her, so I wondered why he would want me there. I walked into her quarters, their combined scents thick in the room. Ania's was a sweet musky scent; Garrus' was sharper, almost burning my nose.

"What do you want, Garrus?" I asked as I took a seat on the couch.

"Ania asked me to call you up," he replied. My eyes widened and I hesitated for a moment, staring at him. The first thought that entered my mind must have shown on my face, because he grinned. "Not for that! We would kill each other long before we got her to the bed," he stated, his eyes going cold.

He was right; it would be a fight between us. We were finally coming to terms with the knowledge of sharing her. But to actually be there together, even participating? I don’t think either of us could do that. Our instincts would kick in.

I glanced at the bathroom as the shower turned off. Garrus picked up some sheets that were piled at the end of the bed. The smell of blood wafted toward me and my eyes widened as I recognized it. Anger rose up inside of me as I watched the Turian walk over to the chute.

"Garrus, what happened?" I asked, my tone deadly calm.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"I can smell blood from the sheets. What did you do?" I asked coldly, rising to my feet.

He sighed, sitting heavily on the steps, his head buried in his hands. I was about to demand answers, but Ania interrupted me, coming out of the bathroom. She had a towel wrapped around her; a ragged bite mark on her shoulder. Bruises were forming on her legs from his grip, and my anger at Garrus rose up another notch. She looked like she had been brutalized.

"Hey, Thane! Are you ready to go to the Citadel?" she asked as walked over to her wardrobe.

"Siha, are you alright?" I asked, lightly touching the bite mark.

She grinned at me. "Don't worry, I'm fine," she said, rising up on her toes and lightly kissing me.

"He was asking about the blood he smelled on the sheets," Garrus muttered, pacing back and forth, his hands clenched into fists.

"Oh, that! Let just say I lost my virginity in a place I never thought I would," she shrugged, giving me a sheepish grin. Garrus glanced at her in relief. I blinked both sets of eye lids, slowly trying to figure out what she meant by that remark.

Slowly it dawned on me and things began to make sense. "Why would there be blood?" I asked curiously. This act is something that I was familiar with and it never once involved blood. Not even with my wife was there blood. I scowled at Garrus, ready to defend Ania if he was being overly rough.

"Okay, I think it's time to drop this subject, at least for now. I’m heading to the Citadel to talk with Kaidan," she stated.

Kaidan! I wondered what he wanted this time. I thought I made myself quite clear the last time we had _talked_. "Then lead the way, Siha," I said and gave her a half bow out of respect as she headed for the elevator.  

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Ania’s point of view**

"Siha, where did he say you were to meet?" Thane asked, scanning the crowds.

"That's just it, he didn’t specify a location," I muttered.

"What did the message say?" Garrus asked.

I blinked slowly, shocked that he didn’t already know. "You're serious? I thought for sure one of you would have hacked the message," I muttered. Thane smirked as Garrus rolled his eyes. "He stated that he had something he wanted to talk to me about, and that he would find me. Nothing much was said." I shrugged, pulling the message up on my omni tool. They both scanned it quickly, confusion crossing their faces.

"If I didn't know better, Siha, I would say this was a trap," Thane murmured, rereading the short note.

"So what do you want to do?" Garrus asked standing there impatiently.

"Nothing. He said he would find me, so let’s let him. Until then, I need to pick up a few things for the ship. Gardener had better have picked up editable food while we are here," I grumbled as we walked over to a weapons shop.

"Yeah, about that. He asked me to do that since I was heading out with you today," Garrus said, grinning sheepishly.

"Well then, we might as well do that now while we wait," I shrugged, heading over to a shop nearby that sold a variety of food for different races.

"Shepard!" someone yelled from behind me. I closed my eyes as I heard his voice. Anger at him rose in me quickly. Thane tensed beside me, his hand tightening on mine. Garrus stiffened as well, turning slowly toward the voice. Kaidan stood not far away, his eyes never leaving mine as Garrus and Thane moved in front of me. "No fighting right now; we are in public," I hissed at the duo.

"I hear you, Ania," Garrus grumbled. Thane relaxed his stance, but I knew it was a lie. It was the same stance I take just before pouncing. I moved closer to Thane, giving him a warning look, squeezing his hand to make my point.

"What do you want, Kaidan?" I asked calmly, resisting the urge to yell at him.

"We need to talk. Alone," he stated, staring pointedly at Garrus and Thane.

"No, whatever you have to say can be said in front of them," I muttered, glancing between an irate Garrus and a very pissed off Thane. Kaidan stood there glowering at me, ignoring the two men in front of me.

"Ania, I think it would be better if we talked alone," he stated adamantly.

"Garrus, Thane, can you give us a moment alone?" I asked, holding my breath, waiting for the outburst I was sure would come.

They both gave me a searching look before nodding. I watched them as they slowly walked away. Kaidan watched with a smug smirk. "So what was so important that you couldn't say it in front of Thane and Garrus?" I asked tiredly.

"How can you do it, Ania? How can you let an alien touch you?" he asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.

"Easily. I care for them, that's how," I shrugged, smiling softly as I thought of the two men in my life.

"Ania, they are aliens! What about us? With me, you could have your dream," he murmured, taking a step closer.

"No Kaidan, that dream is long gone and I don't miss it," I told him softly. "Kaidan, why do you want back into my life so badly? What we had is gone. You made sure of that not long ago."

"Ania, why did you turn to aliens of all things? Surely there were enough human men that would have been willing," he asked, his agitation growing.

"Why, you ask? They understand me. They accept me for _who_ I am not _what_ I am. They want the woman, not the title; unlike you," I spat, my irritation growing.

"So you're going to turn your back on humanity for two aliens?" he asked, giving me a disgusted look. "I should have guessed you were lying on Horizon. You are a traitor to your own kind."

"A traitor? Is that what you call it? What I call it is _living_! The Alliance turned their back on me, as did the Council. And as for what I do or _who_ I do in my private time; that is not your business or anyone else’s, Kaidan. This is why I would never be with you again. You're focused solely on humans, thinking they are the only ones in danger, but it's not just us! Everyone is in danger. So, Kaidan, to answer your question, there can never be anything between us," I snapped, turning to walk away from him.

"You should know that if you would have accepted being with me, I could have gotten you the help you needed to fight the Collectors," he bit out cruelly. I gaped at him, shocked that he would put stipulations on offering help against the Collectors.

"Still don't understand, do you?" I muttered, shaking my head in disappointment. Without another word to him, I walked away; heading toward the restaurant that I knew Garrus and Thane would be in by now.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Kaidan's point of view**

I sat in my office, my anger growing. Udina’s plan wasn’t going the way we wanted. We had it all planned out to get Shepard under our control. "Alenko, you're back already?" Udina asked as he walked into my office.

"Yes, it didn't go as planned," I muttered with disgust. "Did you know she is with _two_ different _aliens_?" I asked, my fury growing with each word. _I had been turned down because of **aliens**_ , I thought furiously.

"Really? I wouldn't put it past her. Shepard has always been a pain, always thinking of herself before thinking about the repercussions of her actions," he grumbled with an irritated look.

"So, what do we do now that she isn't under our control?" I asked tiredly. I was really becoming annoyed with being Udina's lap dog. But that is what happens when you become a famous hero and want a easier way to climb up the ladder.

"No, she must be under our control; we can't let Cerberus keep her. She has too much information on the Alliance. Plus, think of what information and technology we could receive from her," he smiled with anticipation. "I would suggest you try harder, Alenko. We need her; use any means necessary, even if you have to force her to our side!"

"Yes, sir!" I snapped to attention. "How would I force her, sir?"

"All you have to do is bring her back here and everything will be taken care of. That is all you have to worry about _if_ she doesn't cooperate," he stated coldly before storming out the door.

I sighed, not liking the idea of doing this to Shepard. However, I knew we needed to get her away from Cerberus. Cerberus couldn't be trusted and Shepard couldn't see that; she was too caught up in the Collector threat. So it seemed I had to do what I was ordered to if I wanted to save her.

                                                                                ~ooo~

**Kolyat’s point of view**

I grumbled, annoyed that I had seen my father early this afternoon. I had received some letters since he had stopped me from completing my assassination, but I wasn't ready to see him again or talk to him. Letters were fine for now. Maybe one day I would forgive him, but not yet; it hurt too much knowing that the man I wanted nearby had left me and disappeared. My anger rose at the thought of him. He'd been away for years and then he comes back into my life all of a sudden when I started to follow in his footsteps.

He and Shepard had stopped me from killing the damned Turian politician. It irked me that he could kill with impunity, but when I attempted to, he stopped me like a child. What hurt the most was that he found someone else, forgetting about my mother. Shepard - I didn't know what to make of her. I was uncomfortable at the thought of my father seeing her, but Bailey talked with me, helped me look at it in a different way. Thane wasn't replacing my mother; it was more like he was living the way he should Bailey had said.

While we were talking my father explained why he left me at such a young age. I sort of understood, but it was still upsetting. We also talked about why he hadn't been there when my mother died. After his explanation I had a better view of the situation; he had gone hunting for the men responsible, something I wish I could have done.

I walked the halls, keeping watch like Captain Bailey had ordered me. It was boring; nothing really going on. I was just starting to relax as I made another round of this level. My father and Shepard, along with the Turian, had gone back to their ship. I vaguely wondered why the Turian was with them; from the way they were acting, they all seemed like good friends. I remembered the Turian from when my father came to stop me, but he stayed with Shepard while my father and I talked in the interrogation room. When I came out and saw Shepard comforting my father, it had hurt me greatly.

"Shepard, you can't get away," a voice growled menacingly in one of the dark corners of an alleyway.

"Kaidan, you don't want to do this," Shepard stated coldly. _I'd heard enough about Shepard's reputation to know she stated the truth; you didn't want to mess with her,_ I thought with a shake of my head.

"Why? Does it bring back memories?" the male voice asked snidely. I heard a gasp, flesh hitting flesh brutally. I smiled to myself, thinking that Shepard had put the person in their place. I heard her gasp and then groan; it wasn't a groan of pleasure. I thought about my father; what would he do, how would he handle a situation like this? A bright blue glow could be seen inside the darkened corridor. Now I was worried. This man knew biotics and was using them on her.

I moved quietly; the guy’s back was toward me as I moved closer. He had her pinned up against the wall, speaking harshly to her. His biotic powers held her immobile as she struggled against his grip. A bruise was forming on her cheek as she glared at him.

"Kaidan, don't do this!" she pleaded, her eyes shining with fear and rage.

"I have no choice," I heard him whisper. "You're coming with me. If you fight, I will have no choice but to immobilize you." I took a step forward, unsure what I was about to do. I only knew that I had to stop this man from harming Shepard.

I grabbed his shoulder, using my weight and his to throw him off balance. He stumbled a couple of steps, his biotics flickering a moment before vanishing. Shepard fell to the ground with a grunt. I turned to the man. "Leave!" I ordered in my harshest tone. I had nothing on Shepard when it came to intimidation, but I hoped it would work and he would listen.

He stared at me, his eyes widening as he took a few stumbling steps back. He gazed at me with fear, but that made no sense. With a final look at Shepard, he left quickly. "Shepard?" I asked calmly, moving closer to her. This was the last thing I wanted to get involved with; my father's mate. I could smell him on her, along with another scent that I couldn't place; it was strong and bitter as if someone else had marked her. Drells don’t mark our mates as many species do. Our mark is left on our partner when we merge with them; clasping our hand with theirs. It stimulates our pheromones so we can leave our scent behind. It seemed as if my father had joined this way with Shepard, which shocked me.

"Kolyat? What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, scowling when she heard her voice.

"Captain Bailey has me doing rounds. I heard you fighting with that man. It wasn't until it sounded rough that I decided to help," I shrugged, trying my best to appear nonchalant. She struggled to her feet, leaning up against the wall for support. Her face was pale and her eyes were glassy.

"Thanks for the help," she said and attempted a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. She moved from the wall, taking a few stumbling steps before falling into me. _Damn! It looked like I would have to help her out. I couldn't leave her like this,_ I sighed to myself, grasping her by the arm. I walked next to her, supporting her weight until she noticed that I was taking her back to her ship.

"No, I can't go back there right now," she muttered, stopping abruptly and then groaning in pain as her hand flew to her head.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked with forced calm. I didn't want to be in her presence any longer than I had to be.

"Anywhere but there," she muttered, looking paler by the moment.

"I think we should get you to see a doctor," I muttered, hoping she wouldn’t pass out on me. That was the last thing I needed; being seen carrying around the great Commander Shepard, my father's mate. Man that would be hell; people seeing me carrying a hero. Like I needed the questions or the humiliation.

"No, I'll be fine," she bit out, glaring at me. A shiver of fear raced down my back at her expression. This small woman had an air of danger to her, even injured. Though I couldn't figure out how she had managed to get so hurt. She was held against the wall with biotics and she had probably been through worse and walked away, so why was this time so bad? It made no sense.

"I'm taking you to your ship," I stated in what I hoped sounded like an authoritative tone.

"No, you are you not! If your father sees me like this, he will hunt down and kill Kaidan," she hissed. I flashed back to the incident, replaying everything. Yes, my father would kill him if he saw her now. I knew I would do the same if she was my mate.

"That is where I am taking you!" I stated sharply. She glared at me, trying to stare me down. I had to smirk. A human trying to out stare a Drell; it was amusing, considering we didn't need to blink that often.

Her ship seemed to be empty when we entered, which I found slightly odd. I thought about it for a moment and figured she had let them go on shore leave. She took stumbling steps as we walked toward a door that was labeled Research and Tech Lab. They opened in front of me; inside a Salarian was working at one of the tables, inputting data onto a computer.

"Are you a doctor?" I asked, interrupting his work.

"I am. What do you need?" he asked, without looking up from his data. His hand stopped in mid- motion. "Voice doesn’t belong to anyone on the ship," he muttered to himself. He looked toward me sharply and I couldn't help the smile that quirked my mouth. The shock on his face was well worth a smile, but that shock turned to worry when he moved toward me quickly, staring at the Commander.

"Who are you? What happened to Shepard?" he fired off the questions as he helped sit her down.

"Mordin, I'm fine!" she muttered, then her eyes turned into narrow, lethal slits that were warning enough without words. "If you start scanning me I'll…" she trailed off, slumping forward as he injected her with something.

"Be easier to work on her now; not have to worry about threat coming true," he smiled. I didn't blame him. I would be happy, too, but I would be worried about the repercussions when she awoke.

"Is she going to be alright?" I asked anxiously as he ran his scans.

"She will be, with lots of rest," he smirked, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "Have Thane and Garrus come to the labs," he ordered, looking pointedly at me.

I looked at him askance, having no idea where to begin the search. "Where would I find my father?" I asked him uncertainly. His head whipped my way and his eyes widened as he ran his scanner over me.

"Good, no signs of Kepral’s Syndrome," he nodded, turning back to Shepard, who was now sleeping peacefully.

"Thane and Garrus are in Shepard's quarters," a computerized voice spoke soothingly. My eyes widened, not sure what to make of any of this.

"EDI, have them come to labs," Mordin stated absently as he injected her with another solution.

"I think I should leave," I mumbled, moving quickly to the door. The door opened before I reached it and my father and Garrus walked in. I sighed, unable to avoid seeing them. My father's eyes widened as he saw me.

"Kolyat, what are you doing here?" he asked quickly.

"I helped Shepard onto the ship. She was attack by someone named Kaidan; he held her against a wall with his biotics," I began and then hesitated, seeing the rage flare in both men's eyes. I swallowed nervously as my father took another step toward me.

"Are you sure it was Kaidan?" he asked, his voice cold, sending chills of fear down my spine.

"That is what she called him," I whispered nervously.

The Turian walked up behind my father, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Let's go hunting," he growled. My father turned to him, giving a nod as they both moved toward the door.

"Kolyat, can you stay here with Shepard? Don't let her know where we are going. We'll talk to her when we return," my father asked quietly.

"Sure, but who is this Kaidan?" I asked, knowing that I shouldn't. It wasn't normally our way to pry.

"He is someone from Ania's past," he muttered before leaving.

"Sit there!" Mordin ordered, pointing to a chair next to Shepard.

I stared at the door my father had just walked through. My mind was reeling; he trusted me to watch over Shepard even when he knew that I was angry with him. As I realized what his actions meant, I felt something peaceful flow over me. I replayed the conversation and my eyes widened as another realization hit me. The Turian! It was his scent that I could smell on Shepard. My mind reeled at this news; I wasn't sure how to react.

                                                                ~ooooo~

**Thane's point of view**

My blood boiled as we left the Normandy. Alenko had dared to harm Shepard. "Why do you think Ania didn't drop him?" Garrus asked. It was a good question; one that I didn't have an answer to. Ania wasn't one to take a threat lightly.

"I don't know," I answered as walked over to his apartment. We could hear him moving inside and I nodded to Garrus to take the lead.

We didn't knock; we weren’t in civilized moods. I grinned maliciously as Garrus kicked the door open. We headed for the man standing with a picture of Ania in his hands. "What do you want?" he asked belligerently. I stayed in the shadows, out of his sight as Garrus towered over him.

"Revenge," I answered coldly, stepping into the light. His eyes widened and he took a few steps back.

"You!" he hissed, reaching behind him for a weapon. His hand fumbled around, not finding anything.

"Don't move, Kaidan. I'm not letting you get away with harming Ania," Garrus growled, drawing his weapon.

"Garrus, you don't want to get involved with this," he warned, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. "This came from well above me. Udina wanted Shepard with the Alliance, where we could keep an eye on her, but it will never happen now," he said softly.

We both stopped, wondering what this news had to do with his attack on Ania. "We can't take her now and jeopardize what the blood work shows. Her condition could move humanity significantly forward. The Council will be unable to ignore us now," he smiled, but there was a wealth of sadness in his eyes.

I was very worried about what he was talking about. What had their tests shown and how did he get the blood? "Joker, patch me through to Mordin!" I ordered, hoping he wouldn't give me a hard time with his jokes.

"Sure, Thane," Joker replied quickly.

"Yes, Thane?" Mordin asked as he came over the comm.

"Is there any indication that blood was taken from Ania?" I asked hurriedly.

"Wait a moment," he answered. The silence lasted longer than I liked, even though it was only seconds. "Yes, blood was drawn. Who took it?" he asked.

"The Alliance," I snapped, turning cold eyes to Kaidan.

"That is problematic. Get samples if possible," he ordered.

"We can't. They already ran tests on the blood," I told him.

"That is not good. Talk more when you return and Shepard is awake," he stated, cutting off communications.

"So, it wasn't Cerberus, but your Salarian scientist who did this. I'll make sure they know," Kaidan said. "The both of you will want to read this." He passed Garrus a data pad with shaking hands.

Garrus read the pad while I watched Alenko with my gun. Garrus gasped, almost dropping the pad. He stared at me, his eyes wide with shock. Slowly he passed me the report, his hands shaking. I took it, waiting for Garrus to begin watching Kaidan.

"Garrus…" I said and nodded toward Kaidan. He shook himself as if coming out of a dream; his gun pointing at Kaidan steadily.

I look at the data, my breath catching in my throat as the words began to sink in.

**_Subject:_ ** _Commander, Shepard, Ania **Sex:** Female                        **Age:** 32_

_Tests indicate subject’s blood shows above normal levels of estrogen and progestrogen. Sortisol and aldosterone are above normal levels._

_Further tests show subject is pregnant, approximately three weeks duration. Fetus race: Mother – human, Father – unknown._

**_Conclusion:_ ** _More tests need to be run on subject._

"Garrus…" I trailed off, not sure what to say. I was at a loss for words. Ania is carrying a child? Did she know about it? I wasn't sure what to think. I never expected to be a father again.

"I know, Thane," he muttered. "What do we do about him?" he asked, inclining his head toward the human before us. His eyes blazed with anger and his finger twitched on the trigger. I knew he had the same feelings as I had. Kaidan harmed Ania while she carried a baby, stole her blood and betrayed her. That alone was a death sentence. I gave a slow nod and he pulled the trigger; Kaidan slumped to the floor slowly, his eyes closing as his breathing slowed.

                                                                               ~ooooo~

We entered Mordin's lab, stunned by our discovery. "Mordin, what do you know about Shepard being pregnant?" Garrus asked. I heard a gasp from behind me and turned quickly. Kolyat stood there, looking as dazed as I felt.

"Oh, Shepard told you the plan? Good. Thane will have cure when fetus has had four weeks of gestation. With Drell, Human and Turian genes, child will be immune to most diseases. Will also be superior race," he stated brusquely. So Ania had known that she was pregnant; why hadn't she told us? Why did she keep it a secret? "When Shepard awakes, will let her know of news," he smiled.

"Did you just say you haven’t told Ania yet?" Garrus asked before I could.

"Yes, Shepard was unsure of procedure, needed time to think. She told me her answer yesterday. This is one of two cures for Kepral’s Syndrome. Other cure, take implants from Shepard and use on Thane's lungs. Might kill Shepard if too many implants taken out. Came up with this cure after more study," he said, turning back to Ania’s sleeping form.

I looked toward my son; he looked shocked, but I could see signs of happiness on his face. "Kolyat," I said and nodded for him to come with me. He glanced back at Ania before following me out. I walked to Life Support, taking a seat on my chair as he sat opposite me. "What did Shepard say to you?" I asked as I watched my son struggle to remain calm.

"Nothing, really. She didn't want to come on board the Normandy," he replied and gave a small smile. "She was about to threaten the doctor, but he injected her with something that put her to sleep."

"So, you are to be a father again? Are you going to leave this one like you left me?" he asked bitingly. I flinched, understanding his anger.

I remained silent, not sure what to say. I still couldn't believe that I fathered a child, and with a human, no less. It was supposed to be impossible, but yet the tests showed she is with child. "If my opinion is worth anything, I would suggest you actually remain in this child's life!" he spat.

"I don't know, Kolyat. I never expected to be a father again. I never expected to be in a relationship again and yet it is happening," I sighed. He sat there, quietly watching me. The anger that had been in his eyes moments before faded, replaced by an understanding look.

"What do you know of this cure the doctor was talking about?" he asked. I shrugged, unable to provide a decent answer, as the same question was on my mind. What did the fetus have to do with this cure?

"Not much, this was the first I had heard of it. Though it troubles me that a fetus is involved," I told him.

"So, how are you going to stop her from doing missions to keep the child safe? Furthermore, won't this affect the mission you mentioned?" he asked hesitantly.

I chuckled with mild amusement. "There is no way anyone would be able to stop her. I wouldn't try; I value my life," I smirked. I pitied anyone who tried to tell Ania what she should and should not do.

He looked at me, momentarily shocked, before a smile slowly appeared. "Well I should head out and report to Captain Bailey," he said with a nod before walking toward the exit. I watched and waited as he stopped at the door. Slowly he turned toward me. "How long are you staying docked here?" he asked, a small flicker of hope in his eyes.

"I do not know, it depends on Ania and how she reacts to the news," I smirked, not looking forward to that episode. "If we are here tomorrow, I'll come to speak with you."

 


	14. Chapter 14

My eyes flickered open, bright lights piercing my skull. I groaned, holding my head. "Good, you're awake," Mordin's rapid fire voice cut through the fog.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, my voice hoarse from a dry throat.

"Had to knock you out to do scans. Thought it safer that way," he muttered, running his scanner over me once again.

"Mordin, if you ever knock me out without my knowledge again, you'll wish you hadn't," I hissed, yanking the scanner out of his hand. He looked up at me quickly, fear entering his eyes for a moment before glancing over my shoulder with a relieved look at the opening door.

"Good, Thane, you're here. Need to do scan on Shepard. Need scanner back," Mordin explained, gazing hopefully at Thane.

"Don't even think about it," I growled, hopping off the medical table. The gown fluttered around me, leaving a cool breeze at my back. _Damn, I hate these gowns,_ I thought with a scowl.

"Siha, why don't you allow Mordin to run his tests," Thane murmured, taking my hand into his.

"Fine…." I mumbled. Mordin moved closer as I passed him his scanner.

"Scans show everything is normal for your condition," Mordin murmured.

"For my condition?" I bit out suspiciously.

"Fetus at expected development for three weeks," he answered, looking me directly in the eyes.

"Then your experiment failed, since I wasn't on the new medications," I muttered disappointedly. So much for a cure for Thane, at least at this point.

"Quite the opposite. You have been on medication since you started taking meds for allergies; that was what second pill was for," he nodded.

"You mean you've were experimenting on me _before_ I gave my permission?" I asked coldly, my muscles tightening; ready to do some damage to the presumptive Salarian. My hands were balled into fists at my side as I vibrated with anger.

"No, no, not experiment then. Didn't know could be used like that until tests showed your body’s reaction to it. Then idea came to me, but had to research for more data. Your body is more adaptable, probably due to Cerberus, but it has helped with the cure," he replied hastily. "Will have to talk with Miranda more about this. She would know more details as to what has been done to your body."

"Fine, say I believe you Mordin. How is it possible for the fetus to carry genes from each of us when we didn't have intercourse on the same nights? Or, let's go one better; both Garrus and Thane have different metabolism than me. What does that mean for the child?" I asked sharply.

He started rattling off medical information, and my brain began to shut down. "Mordin, enough! Explain it in layman’s terms, please," I muttered, rubbing my throbbing head.

"Infant might take genes from either one, or both; not sure yet. Have to study more, do more tests. Don’t have all the answers yet. As for hybrid, will cause complications. Each species has different gestation periods, and aren’t usually compatible; but pill gave your body more hormones, makes you compatible with all species," he said quickly, blinking slowly as another idea came to him. "You could be right; might only be one father, not two as we had hoped. Will have to wait until 4 weeks; will know more then."

Returning to his data, he continued. "Will send more information to your terminal; food to eat, possible side effects. Will also give you some pills you need to take daily," he added, nodded brusquely.

I moved toward the door, but Thane stopped me. He had a small smile on his face as he handed me his coat. "As much as I enjoy seeing you on display, having others see you thus would not be prudent," he said, his tone harsher than I expected. I smirked at him, slipping his jacket on so that my rear was covered. I breathed deeply, inhaling his scent off the leather; a smile came to my lips as I wrapped myself in his warmth.

He led me to the elevators; cold, hard eyes stopped anyone from waylaying us. I would have to speak with them later, though not with him nearby. He was acting too protective at the moment. It irked me that he would be acting this way, but I understood what a shock he had just endured, so I let it drop this one time.

I walked into my room. Garrus was already there, not meeting my gaze. Thane went over to the couch, sitting at the opposite end from the pensive Turian. "So, what aren't you telling me?" I asked them as I felt the tension in the room, thick enough to run a knife through.

"We found Kaidan and he won't be bothering you anymore," Garrus growled, his pupils becoming mere slits. My eyes widened; this was the first time I had ever seen his eyes do this, so I knew he was pissed.

"What did the two of you do?" I asked, glancing between them. Garrus’ look told me it was something bad. Thane’s eyes were cold and distant; it was his assassin’s look, one that told me he had a part to play in whatever happened to Kaidan.

Thane gave me the full weight of that stare and I knew without being told. Kaidan was dead. I couldn't say much, as I would have killed him myself if given the chance. But their actions created a lot of problems that would have to be handled immediately to avoid any repercussions.

"We need to get the crew together and come up with a plan of action. The Alliance and possibly the Council will be up in arms over this," I sighed, moving over to the bed and sitting down, my head buried in my hands. The headache that had been blossoming inside my skull was slowly winning the battle.

''’Up in arms', Siha? I am unfamiliar with this phrase," Thane commented. I looked up at him, remembering that though we had translators, not all species had the same sayings.

"It means that this could be bad for us. Kaidan was with the Alliance, and they will do almost anything to find his murderer. With Udina pulling the strings, we have even more problems," I muttered, running my hand through my hair in frustration. "So, we'll gather the crew and see what plan we can come up with."

"Ania, you should be resting," Garrus commented, coming over to me. I dropped my hands from my face and looked up at him, squinting when the light stung my eyes. I tried to ignore it as much as possible, but it wasn't easy.

"Garrus, right now is not the time for resting, especially with this. The longer we wait, the more problems it will create," I told him firmly.

"EDI, have the entire ground crew, except for Samara, assemble in the conference room in 20 minutes," I ordered, heading for the shower. I could feel two sets of eyes following my every movement; disapproving of my refusal to rest. They had better not begin to assume that just because I’m pregnant with their child, I'm not capable of doing my job. The first time that happens, they will both be very, very sorry, and will quickly learn what the phrase ‘top notch bitch’ means.

I let the hot water wash over my muscles, loosening them up, and taking away the aches. I knew I couldn’t stay in here for long. There was too much to do; too many crises to avoid. With a sigh, I left the comfort of the shower, wrapping myself in one of the thick towels that always seem to find their way into my bathroom. For just a moment, I wondered who it was that took care of that particular job. Maybe Kelly had a use, after all.

Thane stood by the bed, and Garrus sat on the couch, glaring at each other. _Now what have I missed?_ I thought tiredly.

"I'm not even going to ask what happened within those few short minutes I was out of sight," I muttered, scowling at them both.

Quickly I changed, ignoring the hisses and gasps behind me. My skin flushed from the sounds, but I had more important things to do than be seduced by Garrus and Thane. They would have to wait for a more appropriate time.

"We should head down," I told them, strolling into the elevator.

They followed quietly, too close for comfort. Right now I wanted room to breathe and they were almost touching me. I stalked into the conference room, glad to see the team was already assembled. I spotted Miranda leaning against the console, and Jacob was nearby. "Miranda, when we are through here, you and Mordin need to have a long talk and I want answers by tonight!" I ordered sternly. "Understood, Mordin?" I asked, and he nodded, flinching when his gaze met mine.

"I'll try, Shepard," he muttered.

"Good, now onto the reason I called you all here," I said, glancing around the room. I trusted most of the people in attendance, but there were two I was still unsure of; namely, the Cerberus puppets. Jacob was too ‘by the book’ for my taste and Miranda’s loyalty was still to be determined. However, I was in no position to be picky with regards to this particular situation. I needed help, and that meant clueing them in on the entire problem.

"It seems my former team mate, Kaidan Alenko, was working with Ambassador Udina on a plan to kidnap me. An attempt was made this afternoon, but with the help of an outside party, I was able to escape. Thane and Garrus took care of Kaidan, but their solution has created additional problems," I explained, gazing down the length of the table. Though most of the team appeared confused at my statement, there were a select few who seemed to understand my meaning. Tali looked horrified and Jack smiled wickedly, nodding her head in agreement. Zaeed had a smirk on his face as he sized up the two men behind me. The rest appeared lost.

"Ania, did Kaidan really have to die?" Tali asked, her voice hoarse.

"He attacked her, Tali, nearly killing the child she carries!" Garrus growled. Gasps were heard around the room as all eyes turned to me. _Not really the way I wanted to break this news, but it'll have to do,_ I thought, sighing deeply _._

"Shepard…?" Tali asked hesitantly.

"Yes Tali, I'm with child," I sighed, nodding my head. That proved to be a mistake; the damned headache pounded through me for a moment before subsiding. "But that isn't why this meeting was called. We need to come up with a plan before the Council or the Alliance comes to detain these two and impounds the ship," I grumbled.

"Why don't you just place the blame on that Udina guy you mentioned?" Jack suggested.

"You mean plant evidence?" I asked. It wasn’t my first choice, but the idea had merit.

"Obviously! It’s easy, quick and he's out of your hair. The finger will then be pointing toward him and your fuck buddies are in the clear," she shrugged. I heard a barely audible growl from Garrus and a hiss coming from Thane. _Great, now I have two testy aliens at my back and Jack, who loves pushing everyone's buttons, vocalizing her opinion. Could this day get any better?_ I though sarcastically.

"Ania, I could hack his computer from here and see if there is anything we can use to our advantage," Tali said. Before I could respond, Jack spoke again.

"Uh huh, and while you're sorting out those files, she goes to jail. Yeah, real brilliant!" she scoffed. "Plant evidence that Udina was the one who did it. You said Alenko was working for him, so why wouldn't he get rid of a loose end? I would; it’s the smart thing to do," she smirked. Though I really hated admitting it, she had a point. We had the perfect people on board to take care of the job.

"Anybody have a problem with Jack’s plan?" I asked cautiously. No one said anything. Grunt looked like he could care less; and Miranda and Jacob didn’t look like it bothered them. Tali might be the only problem, but I knew she would eventually understand.

"Fine, do it. Set him up, but, Tali, I want anything you can get from his files," I ordered.

"I'll plant the evidence pointing to Udina, and Tali can search for information," Kasumi grinned. “I'll even check security footage in the area where the ‘incident’ occurred and see if anything needs _adjusting._ It should be done by the end of the day." She rose from the table, looking quite excited at the prospect. I moved out of her way so she could leave. The others followed suit, and soon the conference room was empty of everyone but Tali, Thane, Garrus and me.

"I'll start searching the files right away, Shepard," Tali said, looking down at the floor.

"Talk to me, Tali," I sighed, glancing at the guys over my shoulder, giving them a pointed look to disappear. Garrus turned to leave, followed by Thane, and Tali let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Why didn't you tell me you were expecting?" she asked quietly, and I could hear the pain in her voice.

"I would have, but I only found out about an hour ago," I answered softly. Her head snapped up, and I didn't need to see her face to know that she was surprised.

"I'm sorry, I thought you didn't trust me enough to tell me," she muttered. "So, who is the father?" she asked, her tone filled with both curiosity and amusement.

"I’m not sure. I won't know for another week," I told her with a tired smile. Suddenly I groaned, clutching my throbbing forehead. The pounding headache was back with a vengeance.

"Ania?" Tali cried out as she grasped my arm urgently.

"It's just a massive headache. Don't worry about it, Tali," I moaned as a tear of pain slipped out of my eye.

"You should be resting, Ania," she said sharply.

"I know, I know," I grumbled irritably. "Do me a favor. While I'm lying down, go question Thane and Garrus. Maybe they know something that they aren't telling me."

"If I do this, will you promise to lay down?" she asked with her arms crossed over her chest. I didn't have to see the annoyed look she was giving me; her body language said it all.

"Yes, I promise," I sighed and left the room with her hot on my heels. I hoped she was going to look for Garrus and Thane, though I was fairly sure she simply wanted to make sure I went to my quarters. There was no way I was going to avoid my bed; I wanted this headache gone.

I waited for the doors of the elevator to open, and the brightly lit room hurt my eyes. "EDI, dim the lights eighty percent,” I ordered. It was almost pitch black, but it was easier on my throbbing brain. I curled up in a ball, burrowing my face into the pillow. Slowly my eyes drifted closed, but my head still pounded. I really didn't want to take anything for the pain, not only because I was pregnant, but also because I hated the way that shit made me feel.

I shifted positions, moaning in pain. When I opened my eyes, the room was blurry. "Commander Shepard, is everything alight?" EDI asked. "I noticed an increase in your heart rate." _No shit!_ I thought. _Heart rates always increase when a person is in this much pain._

"I'm fine, EDI," I groaned. "I'm just going to rest for a while."

"I've notified Dr. Solis," she stated before vanishing. _Damn that AI to hell and back!_ It didn't take Mordin long to arrive.

I scowled at him as he neared the bed, and he held up his hands with a smirk. "No scanner, already know the problem," he said in his quick-fire way. "Going to give you an injection. Will take away the pain and help your biotics to level out."

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him where he could shove his injection, but all that came out was a whimper. _That sound did not come from me!_ I thought, horrified. _I do not whimper!_

I felt the prick on my arm, and a numbing sensation swept through me; gradually relieving the massive headache. I was going to try and say something else, but decided that it would be too much work at the moment. Through barely opened eyes, I watched him leaving my bedroom. "EDI, keep an eye on her brain waves and vitals for me. I'll return later to inject her once more," he stated as the elevator doors closed behind him.

                                                                                ~ooooo~

I awoke slowly, sighing in relief as I felt a cool surface pressed against my back. My skin felt as though it was burning, and I could not seem to get close enough to the coolness which I felt behind me. I tried to shift more, but something stopped me. I cracked opened my eyes and saw that Thane was mere inches away; his face a blur. "Go back to sleep," he murmured, and he didn't need to tell me twice. My eyes drifted shut, but my body still felt like it was on fire.

"How come I'm so hot?" I asked groggily.

"You're running a fever; your body is still reacting to what Kaidan did to you. He forced your biotics back within you," he said softly. "Mordin has been up here every few hours checking on you. He’s been giving you some injections to help with the overload. Your body is having a hard time with it."

"Um-hmm," I mumbled, drifting off to sleep once again.

                                                                                                ~oooo~

**Thane’s point of view**

I glanced at the bed when I heard movement, Garrus’ gaze following my own. Ania had rolled onto her stomach, and the sheet that had been covering her slipped down her body, exposing her back. The curve of her breast pressed under the weight of her body, and her face was soft, the pain that had been etched into it all night now gone. She looked peaceful as she slept.

I couldn’t pull my eyes away as she moaned softly; her eyelashes fluttering lightly against her cheek. My pants were starting to feel tight as I watched her. I glanced at Garrus to see him shifting uncomfortably on the couch. We both turned our focus back to the bed when we heard her move again. She rolled onto her back, her skin silky smooth; firm breasts showing as the sheet slipped further down, resting low on her hips.

Her eyes fluttered opened as her arms stretched over her head, and her back arched, reminding me of when she found her pleasure beneath me. I swallowed the moan that threatened to escape. I rose to my feet, taking a few steps toward her. Garrus rose as well, and I glared at him when I saw his intentions were the same as mine.

 _There was no way in hell I was sharing her with him!_ I swore as he moved toward the bed. Ania turned to us with a small smile that slowly disappeared as she saw we were moving closer to her. I was scowling at Garrus' back as he moved.

"Don't even think about it, Garrus," she said quietly, stopping him with a pointed look. With a small shake of her head, she rose from the bed. "Nothing is being started, not with the both of you here."

I sighed in relief that I wouldn't have to fight Garrus. I was more than willing to fight him, but I knew that Ania wouldn't tolerate it. "Then I would suggest you put some clothes on," Garrus muttered, eyeing her as she moved toward her closet. I followed her movements, watching her curved hips sway with each step. My desire for her returned, more intense than before. Each night we'd been together haunted me, bringing memories of passion and desire, but also warmth and security.

Irikah and I loved each other deeply, but our relationship was strained. My job as an assassin kept me away, as well as my desire to keep her and Kolyat protected. There was also the realization that I could never let my guard down with her. We could never be a normal family, where I could talk about work or where I would be home for supper. No, my job was dangerous; it took me far away for months at a time. My visits diminished to once or twice a year, and then to nothing.

I knew our love for each other had vanished when we last met; from the way she looked at me. Then she was murdered and I moved on with my life, carrying the guilt that I had allowed an innocent to become involved with me. Ania, on the other hand, wasn't innocent; she was strong, stubborn and a leader. She knew what I did, and didn't condemn me.

But now I was putting her into a box, treating her tenderly, when all I wanted was to lose myself in her. I was too afraid of doing that to her. After seeing what she looked like when Garrus was with her, I couldn’t treat her the same way; I was afraid of hurting her. So now, once again in my life I was holding myself back; keeping myself in check so she didn't come to harm.

I glanced up when I heard the doors to her suite open. Garrus left us alone and he didn't seem to be upset. I wondered what I had missed while deep in thought.

"What has you so troubled, Thane?" she asked quietly, standing before me in only the barest of t-shirts. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my desire under tight control. She deserved better than what I wanted to do to her. She didn't need to see that side of a Drell's nature; humans were too soft for that and I wouldn't put her through that.

"Nothing to worry about, Siha," I answered softly.

"Now why don’t I believe that?" she asked with a raised brow. I reached out, pulling her close, not to seduce her, but to feel her near me. She didn't fight, her head automatically resting on my chest; her arms wrapping around my waist, holding me tightly.

"Thane, talk to me," she whispered, tilting her head up to meet my eyes.

I brushed a light kiss across her mouth, attempting to silence her questions. She backed up, staring at me with a concerned look. "Thane, I would suggest you quit avoiding the question. Is it the news that I'm pregnant?" she asked bluntly. It wasn’t, though that was another reason to keep myself in control. I didn’t wish to harm her or her infant.

She ran her hands lightly along my cheek, her fingers gently fondling the ridges which framed my face. I stood stoically, still fighting with myself not to toss her onto the bed, to yank her legs apart and lose myself in her scent. I fought not to do everything my body yearned to do. It was a fight I was losing and I couldn't allow that.

I moved her hands from my cheeks, holding them firmly in my own. I gazed softly at her, knowing I couldn't answer the question she was about to ask. I kissed her lightly and moved quickly toward her door. I forced myself to ignore her calls. I forced myself not to look back; if I did, I knew I wouldn’t have the strength to leave. I would give in to the desire that was burning within me, and that was the last thing I wanted.  


	15. Chapter 15

_What the hell was that all about?_ I thought as I stared dumbfounded at the door. I saw the desire in his eyes, felt the tension in his body. So, what happened? It made no sense. I don't know how long I stood staring at the door stupidly before I decided to move.

"EDI, where is Thane?" I asked quietly, my voice sounding uncertain.

"Mr. Krios has left the ship," EDI stated before her orb blinked out. _Left the ship? Why would he leave the ship? Was he coming back?_ So many questions and yet no answers. I stood there, confused and unsure of what had just occurred.

I left my quarters, needing to see Garrus. Maybe he had an answer; though that was highly doubtful. I found him in the Mess Hall, sitting alone with a data pad in one hand and a plate of food in front of him. He blinked slowly as I took a seat next to him. His face conveyed his concern. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

"That was what I was going to ask you. It’s Thane; he left my room abruptly and now he's left the ship. Do you know what might be wrong?" I asked him, my confusion growing.

He gave me an amused look. "You really think he would tell me?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow.

"I was hoping he might; the two of you seem to be getting along better now," I shrugged, giving him a hopeful look.

"Ania, the only reason we get along is because of you. We are barely civil to each other," he smirked, shaking his head.

"Alright, fine, you don't know anything," I grumbled, glaring at him. Without another word, I left him there to go over his work. I went to CIC, stopping in the Research Lab to check and see what other enhancements I could make to the ship and equipment. There were still quite a few that needed to be done; I had the specs for them, but not enough material to complete the task. That meant more mining.

"EDI, can you notify Thane that the Normandy will be leaving in four hours time?" I asked, unsure if that was possible.

After a few moments, the digital sphere appeared before me. "I have notified him, Commander, but he did not reply," she stated, blinking off once more. Well, if he wasn't back in four hours, then I had my answer. I would have no choice but to leave without him. FUCK! When I get my hands on that Drell, there will be hell to pay.

"Notify Kasumi that I will be speaking with her on her return to the Normandy," I ordered EDI.

"Ms. Goto is already aboard the Normandy; she has finished her mission successfully. She awaits you in her quarters when you have time. Tali completed her mission, as well, and awaits you in Engineering. According to the information on the Citadel, Staff Commander Alenko's death is under investigation. If you wish, I can see what they have found out so far," EDI stated.

"Please do, and have it forward to my private terminal so I can review it," I replied.

"Understood, Commander, logging you out," she said.

**Thane's point of view**

I didn't glance back at the ship, I couldn't. If I had stayed onboard one more moment, Shepard would have been pinned against the nearest with wall with no finesse, until I found my release inside of her. I kept walking towards C-Sec, where I knew Kolyat would be.

He was talking quietly with Bailey, listening intently to his orders. "It looks like you have company, kid," Bailey said and nodded toward me. Kolyat glanced my way, his eyes lighting up for a moment before dulling. He walked over to me, his steps initially hesitant and unsure, then slowly gaining confidence.

"Kolyat," I nodded in greeting. "You wished to speak with me before I left," I murmured, not bothering to tell him that I might stay here permanently. I still wasn't sure of that idea. If I stayed here, Shepard would be safe from my baser instincts and I wouldn't have to worry about harming her. If I stayed on the ship, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I harmed her.

"I know that look; the last time I saw it, you left and didn't come back. You haven't changed at all, have you?" he asked bitingly. "Another child is coming into your life and you up and leave. Why am I not surprised, _father_?"

"Kolyat, it's not like that. This has nothing to do with the child," I replied, wanting to explain, but this was one conversation I wasn't having with my son.

"I bet! I'm surprised that you're walking out on Shepard. I've seen how you look at her and it's not the same way you looked at mom," he said quietly. What started out as a biting remark turned into an insightful one that shocked me.

"There’s more to it than that. If I stayed on the Normandy, she could have been harmed," I told him quietly. I didn’t want to tell him about my personal problems, but I needed him to understand.

He stared at me for a moment before comprehension filled his eyes. I stood there stoically, keeping all emotions inside. "You know, father, for such an amazing assassin, you are not that bright. Go tell Shepard what you told me and see what happens. If I were you, I would expect medical attention after that conversation," he grinned at me. Not a companionable grin; it was more like he was laughing at me. "Anyway, I have work to do," he said before walking away.

I turned to Bailey, to find him chuckling quietly. "If you are going to be with a human, you had better learn more about us; especially the females," he said, shaking his head as he resumed his work.

**Garrus' point of view**

I watched her walk away, my blood boiling. It looked as though Thane and I were about to have it out. I didn't care if he beat me, but that Drell was going to learn a lesson. How dare he hurt her, especially after everything she was doing for _him!_

I told EDI that I was leaving the ship for a bit. I didn't say where I was going. I saw him talking with his son and listened intently to their conversation. I liked his kid; he made sense, though I didn't quite understand all of the conversation. I had missed what Thane originally said to his son.

Kolyat left a few minutes into their discussion, still chuckling. I walked slowly over to Thane; he seemed deep in thought. Bailey’s parting comment to him did nothing to ease my confusion.

I smirked as he turned and spotted me. "Thane," I greeted.

"Garrus, what are you doing here?" he asked, glaring at me.

"Finding out why you are being an asshole," I replied bluntly. I watched as he flinched.

"This is not the place for this discussion," he muttered. His usual stoic expression wasn't there; sadness and defeat now covered him like a shroud.

"Fine, let's go to the Normandy," I said, motioning for him to lead the way. There was no way I was letting him out of my sight until we were back on the ship. The assassin was far too slippery.

We walked aboard the Normandy, and my eyes widened as I saw Shepard standing in front of the map. She glanced up as we approached. Her focus was solely on Thane and for that, I was grateful. She stared at him with cold, deadly eyes; pain was there, as well, if you knew what to look for.

"Well, Krios, so good of you to join us. Are you staying or leaving?" she asked brusquely. I shifted uncomfortably as the CIC deck went silent, waiting for what was going to happen.

"I'm staying, Siha," he murmured, pain filling his eyes as he watched her.

"You’d better be sure; this ship is leaving in an hour's time, whether you are here or not," she said coldly as she glared at him. For only a moment, I saw the depth of his feelings; and then he quickly hid behind his usual apathetic expression.

I followed him to his quarters. "Garrus, now is not the time," he grimaced, his shoulders slumped.

"No, now is the time!" I growled. He shook his head, turning his back on me as he walked further into his room. I growled low in my throat, grabbing him by the shoulder and shoving him hard against the wall. He scowled at me. "You are going to make the time!" I spat. I hated seeing Ania hurt and this Drell had caused her pain. He would answer for that crime.

"What do you wish?" he asked quietly, his stoic mask securely in place as he stood there, staring at me passively.

"Why the hell did you walk out on her?" I asked coldly. I was hoping he was going to say that he wasn't ready for a relationship; that he was trying to let her down easy, but something told me that wasn’t the case, no matter how much I wished it.

He stared at me silently, and his shoulders stiffened. I dodged the blow that I knew was coming. I'd sparred with him enough to know the signs. I grabbed his arms, pinning them in one hand while spinning him around and shoving hard against the wall. I moved his arms so they were locked; if he moved them, he would be the one to break them.

He hissed, but didn’t struggle and I knew he had allowed me to place him in this position. "Why?" I growled, putting more pressure against him.

"You wouldn't understand," he spat, staying perfectly still. It made me wonder what he was up to.

"Not good enough. Be thankful I’m the one asking the questions, because you know Ania wouldn't be this nice," I growled.

"I know," he said softly and I hesitated for a moment. My grip on him relaxed and he slipped from me easily. I thought for sure he would attack or seek retaliation, but he didn't. Instead, he stood perfectly still; looking at me thoughtfully.

"So, why did you walk out on her?" I asked, trying for a calmer voice. He hesitated and once again I hoped that he was stepping aside.

"I almost lost control with her," he whispered, looking ashamed.

"That's why you walked out? Because you almost lost control?" I asked incredulously. "You do realize Ania enjoys it rough; she always has," I told him. I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with him. I wanted him gone and yet here I was, urging him to lose control with Ania.

"She's with child, I shouldn't lose control; and she is human, as well. Drell are much stronger than humans and I could do serious damage to her," he spat, glaring at me. I knew he had seen the bite marks and bruises I left on Ania, so I couldn’t believe this was his problem. I simply didn’t understand it.

"Why don't you tell _her_ this, instead of me? She would know how to answer this better than I would," I grumbled, rubbing the back of my head.

"You might be able to help," he murmured thoughtfully.

"Don’t even thinking about it! The last time I listened to an idea of yours, I ended up sharing her with _you_!" I muttered, backing away from him toward the door.

"I understand," he nodded, turning his back toward me. "I don't want to harm her, so the best solution would be for me to step aside," he said quietly, pain dulling his eyes.

I stood there and almost rejoiced until I thought of Ania’s reaction. She would be devastated. She would be moping about and I'd feel like shit because I could have prevented this from happening. _Fuck!_ I thought with feeling. I wanted to hit something right now and that Drell was looking like the perfect target.

I wanted to kick myself for not simply walking away. I wanted to clamp my mouth shut and flee the room, but the image of Ania was too much. I wanted her happy and it appeared that I was willing to do anything to ensure it. "What was your idea?" I asked him, my mouth dry. Each word felt like it was being yanked out of me.

He looked up at me, shocked. I heard a rattled sigh escaping him. "I want you to be there when I lay with her. If I am too rough, you can stop me," he stated, meeting my gaze squarely. _Well, I guess Ania didn't tell him what happened when I found them together the last time,_ I thought with relief.

"I'm warning you right now, she is pissed; so it is going to be rough. With all of the enhancements that Cerberus gave her, I think you should worry more about yourself than her," I smirked. "If you want my help, it better be today or tonight because that’s how long this offer lasts. After that, you are on your own," I hissed. I really wanted to kick my own ass at the moment.

"Thank you, Garrus," he bowed.

"Thane, don't thank me. Just go talk to Ania," I grumbled and stalked out of his room.

I went straight to the Main Battery, not sure what to think of all of this. I was helping the last person I wanted to, all for Ania. I sat on my cot with my head buried in my hands, trying to erase the last few minutes from my mind.

I glanced up when I heard Ania entering. She glanced at me, sitting down on some crates. “Did you talk with Thane?” I asked her quietly.

“No, I’m not ready to talk to him yet. If I saw him right now…” she trailed off.

“Ania, I hate to say this, but he does have a reason for leaving. Let him explain,” I began softly.

“Why? I thought you would be happy if he was gone,” she whispered, sadness darkening her eyes.

“Happy? I would be if I knew you would be, too; but I know that won’t happen,” I sighed, and for the second time today, I wanted to kick my own ass. “Go talk to him. I’ll meet you up in your room later.”

She walked up to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head on my chest. I held her close; enjoying the feeling of having her in my arms. “So what are you going to do?” I asked her, trying to contain the purr that was about to escape.

“I guess I should talk to him,” she sighed, moving away from me.

**Ania’s point of view**

I walked out of the Main Battery, still seething. I had tried to calm myself in Garrus’ arms, but that didn’t happen. He wanted me to talk to that Drell and I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I smiled as I thought of what would be happening later tonight when Garrus came up to my room. It would help me forget the past day, if only for a bit.

I walked into Life Support. Thane was sitting at his desk, hands folded on the table. His shoulders were slightly slouched, not showing the confidence that I was so used to seeing from him. I hardened myself so that I didn’t give in too easily.

“Garrus said I should talk to you, but I am not sure if I am ready to do that without losing my temper further,” I muttered, walking over to the window that overlooked the engineering room.

“Siha….” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

“Don’t try coaxing me out of my anger. Just say what you want, Thane!” I snapped coldly, still not able to face him. I knew if I saw despair or hurt on his face, I would give in.

“Siha, please,” he murmured, coming up behind me; his hand resting lightly on my shoulder. I stiffened under his touch. That didn’t stop him; he added more pressure, trying to turn me to face him, but there was no fucking way I was looking him in the face. He wasn’t going to get off so easily.

“Say what you have to, Thane!” I snapped, glancing over my shoulder and showing him my anger.

His hand dropped away and he sighed, moving away from me. A tense silence descended in the room as I stared out the window, not actually looking at anything. I waited for a few minutes for him to speak, but he said nothing. With an aggravated sigh, I gave up waiting.

I turned around to see him standing with his hands folded behind his back; he appeared deep in thought. I walked past him and he never tried to stop me. I stopped at the doors, looking over my shoulder at him; my anger at an all-time high. Garrus wanted me to talk to him, but he had to meet me half way. “If you finally get the balls to talk, you can find me in my quarters,” I sneered, walking away from him.

                                                                                ~oooo~

I worked at my computer in the silence of my room. There were messages to check and missions that had to be done. I was also trying to get more information on the planets we were passing. I brought up a smaller version of the star chart on my laptop; trying to plot the most effective course for our next several missions.

The doors to my room opened and I didn’t glance up. “I’ll be with you in a few moments, Garrus,” I said, my focus still on the chart in front of me. Quickly I plotted out the courses that we would be taking, estimating the amount of fuel needed and hoping that we would have enough funds for it all.

When I was finished, I glanced up to see not Garrus, but Thane standing nearby; watching what I was doing. I leaned back in my chair, my arms crossed over my chest as I glared at him.

“Siha, you are not making this easy,” he muttered, shifting his stance. It was the only outward sign of his nervousness.

I gave a snort of amusement. “Thane, if you were looking for easy, you’ve picked the wrong girl to set your sights on,” I commented. “So, you’re finally ready to talk?”

“Yes,” he sighed, moving further into the room.

“So…” I prodded, annoyance creeping into my voice when he didn’t start speaking right away.

“This is not an easy subject,” he snapped, glaring at me.

“Uh, wasn’t it you that told me we were past the need to hide anything? That we should be able to discuss anything?” I asked him, sarcasm filling my voice. His eyes narrowed, anger finally showing on his face. “What? Hate having your own words fed back to you?” I added, moving around the desk to stand in front of him. I was glad to see that I had broken through his mask with a few pointed remarks.

“Ania, my control is not endless,” he bit out, moving away from me with his back turned. His body was tense, and a part of me had to see what would happen if I pushed him too far. I _needed_ to see. I wanted him to lose control; to know that I was the one that finally broke through his stoicism.

“Really? You could have fooled me,” I replied, trying to put as much disdain as I could into those words. His shoulders tensed more, and his hands balled into fists at his side.

“Ania,” his said, his voice vibrating with a hissing warning.

I walked toward him, standing a hair’s breadth from him. “What, Thane?” I asked sweetly, though my eyes were cold.

“My control is not limitless,” he snapped, giving me his assassin’s look. In that moment, I had an epiphany; I knew why he walked out on me. This all came down to his control over himself. Well, if he wanted to keep that control, he shouldn’t have come here.

“Oh, really? I wouldn’t have guessed that a great assassin like you could lose control,” I mocked, moving away from him. “But it doesn’t matter now. Garrus will be here shortly, so you should leave,” I smirked at him, glancing slowly at toward the bed, making sure he didn’t miss my intent.

His body shook with an anger that made his eyes narrow. “Ania,” he hissed, his voice vibrating more than usual. He took an involuntary step toward me and stopped himself. I could see the internal battle he was waging not to move toward me.

I turned fully to him, a mocking smile on my mouth as I moved closer to the bed. “Are you going to leave? Or are you going to stay here and watch as Garrus takes me? I’m not sure if you would be able to stand it; though you might want to stay and take notes. I don’t want gentle right now and that is all you are capable of, since you are so controlled,” I taunted.

He snapped.

He moved with a speed that I’d never seen before. In a flash, he had me pinned to the bed. Both of my hands were locked into one of his; his teeth sank into my neck, breaking the skin as he grabbed my breast, bruising me through my shirt. I was in sheer heaven. But there was no way I wasn’t going to put up a fight; he deserved that much at least.

I hooked one of my legs around his thigh and forced him onto his back. He fought me, but I used some biotics to enhance my strength. He sat up, pulling me hard against him when I made to move off of him. I heard the ripping of material and felt the warmth of the room hit my skin. His mouth latched onto my breast, teeth pulling my nipple taunt; I groaned, clutching his head to me. My nails dug into his scales, and he purred against my skin.

This was still too calm for me at the present moment. I wanted it rougher, and he was still too restrained; or maybe this was as rough as he could be. I wasn’t sure. His fingers dug into my skin, leaving bruises in their wake. He unsnapped my pants easily and his hand dived in, finding my sweet spot. I knew now that his loss of control wasn’t the same as mine. He was rougher with me; a lot rougher, but he wasn’t animalistic. I wanted to lose myself in the moment and that wasn’t happening because he was still thinking too much.

I met his eyes as he raised his head to look at me; control was coming back to him. He had finally won his internal battle. _Fuck! This is not what I wanted,_ I thought irritably.

I moved off of him slowly. I was disappointed, but trying valiantly not to show it. He moved with me, matching me step for step. “Ania, I don’t want to lose control with you,” he said softly, and there was an edge to his voice that showed he was on the edge.

“Well, Thane, you only have a few moments more. Garrus will soon be here,” I said and his eyes burned with anger as he glared at me.

“Why do you keep pushing?” he hissed, storming away to pace the room.

“Thane, don’t you get it yet? I don’t want ‘controlled’. I want you to be your true self with me,” I said passionately.

He moved over to me, his hand lacing through my hair. “Siha, if I don’t restrain myself, I will hurt you and the unborn child. Drells can be very rough,” he said softly.

“Thane, the human body can take a lot,” I told him, hoping he would actually listen and quit fighting. I knew he held himself back every time he was with me. He is always so gentle, but there were times I wished he wasn’t.

“I’ve seen what Garrus does to you. You can’t enjoy that,” he hissed angrily.

“That’s where you are wrong; I enjoy it very much,” I told him heatedly, meeting his gaze; letting him see the truth in my words.

He stared at me thoughtfully, his eyes flicking to the bite marks on my shoulder. He met my eyes with uncertainty and a touch of hope. “You won’t hurt me,” I said definitively.

“Siha...” he trailed off when I walked over to him, placing a finger across his lips.

“The choice is yours. I won’t try and force it again,” I whispered.

“Thank you, Siha,” he whispered, pulling me into his embrace.

At that moment, the doors to my cabin opened. I heard Thane’s hiss and Garrus’ low reverberating growl from across the room. A wave of panic washed over me. I wasn’t sure what was going on; why they were acting like this. I glanced over my shoulder to see Garrus standing there with his fists clenched at his side. Thane tensed under my hands. He pushed me behind him as Garrus moved further into the room.

I wanted to say something, to stop the fight that I knew was coming, but I was too late. Garrus charged, his anger showing in every movement. Thane dodged the blows, and this time he wasn’t holding back. He attacked, hitting every tender spot on the Turian.

I moved quickly, needing to put a stop to this. Garrus’ fist shot out, heading toward Thane’s face. Thane deflected it and I found myself standing still, a numb feeling on my cheek.

Anger rose through me and they both stopped, horror in their eyes.

“Ania…” Garrus started, but fell silent at the look on my face. I stared at the two men and knew whatever was happening needed to be stopped immediately.


	16. Chapter 16

The side of Ania’s face throbbed where Garrus’ fist had connected. She reacted without thought, ignoring the horrified looks of the men before her. Her fist shot out, hitting Thane in stomach; following with a kick that sent him onto his back. Before Garrus had a chance to react, he found himself lying beside the drell, groaning. Both men looked up at her; anger contorted her features as she glared down at them.

She let out a noise that sounded more animal than human; her lips pulled back from her teeth in a snarl. Thane’s instinctual nature immediately kicked in and his body throbbed at the sight.

Garrus growled deeply as his eyes met Ania’s. Lust filled him at the sight of her. They both remained on the floor, staring at her for a few moments. Garrus was the first to react. He jumped to his feet, with only two words on his mind – ‘mate’ and ‘mine’.

Ania stood in a fighting stance, waiting for the attack she was sure would come. A human primal instinct held her; one that had lain dormant in humans for centuries. She reveled in the feeling of wildness that enveloped her. If they wanted to fight over her, they could damn well prove themselves. She saw Garrus jump up from the floor. He was on his feet in moments, stalking toward her as a predator would and she loved every minute of it. She didn’t back away; she waited for him, a challenging look in her eyes. When he reached out for her, she was gone; he growled, both in frustration and warning.

Thane moved quickly, wrapping his arms around Ania’s shoulder and her stomach, his teeth sinking in her neck as he released a warning hiss. His eyes never left Garrus’, and he was about to shout in triumph when the air suddenly left his body in a rush and his arms became empty. Ania was several feet away, smirking at the both of them; the challenge still bright in her eyes.

Garrus grabbed her, pressing her back up against the glass; his one hand locking both of hers behind her back. He moved in to bite her neck, but she stopped him; blocking his path with her face. His growl was deep and menacing, and he twisted her around so that her face was pressed up against the glass. His teeth sank into her skin, and she groaned lustily.

Thane heard the moan and anger shot through him. He charged the Turian, knocking him away from Ania. His fist met Garrus’ scarred jaw; his other hand swinging up, connecting to the soft underside of his chin. Garrus fell back onto the floor, shaking his head from the pain.

Thane moved quickly while Garrus was dazed; grabbing Ania and tossing her onto the bed. He followed her quickly, straddling her hips and pinning her hands above her head with one of his own. His other hand ripped her shirt open, her bra quickly following. Her breasts bounced from their confines. Ania hissed at him, and he clamped his mouth over hers, silencing her. She moaned loudly, her fingers digging into his flesh of his hand.

He felt eyes trained on him, and a feeling of victory rushed through him as he rumbled low in his throat. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Garrus watching. He purred from the pleasure of his triumph against Ania’s skin. He felt movement nearby and ignored it; the Turian was no threat to him now. He bit the upper mound of Ania’s breast, leaving his mark there. He purred deeper as he gazed down at her, his tongue tracing the wound he had made.

Ania arched beneath him, her eyes dark with desire. Thane trailed his mouth wherever he could reach, biting and suckling on her skin. His grip on her hands tightened as his desire rose. He felt something brush against him and didn’t think anything of it until he saw Ania’s eyes look away.

She was gazing over his shoulder. He looked up to see Garrus standing there, his scent thick in the air. He could see the Turian’s arousal through his light pants. He recognized the desire on his face as he watched Ania. Yearning burned in the Turian’s eyes; a need that ran deep. It was a feeling that Thane knew very well. He looked into Ania’s eyes and could see what she wanted. He was shocked, but not repulsed at the suggestion he saw there. He knew she wanted both of them; her hints though small, weren’t subtle.

He said the first thing that came to his mind, and he knew it was the right answer at the moment, “No.” Thane heard the challenging growl that come from Garrus. Slowly he raised himself from his protective posture over Ania. He knelt above her, staring at Garrus; a challenging look on his face. He dared the Turian to make a move when he had already won the fight. A taunting smile crossed Thane’s face as he stared at Garrus, a low warning rumble escaping him. Garrus met his look unflinchingly, refusing to back down.

Thane looked closer at Garrus and noticed that the Turian seemed to be enjoying the scene before him. Thane moved so he was kneeling in between Ania’s legs, his eyes still challenging the Turian. Garrus stiffened as he watched Thane hook a hand on the waist band of her pants. “Watch if you wish, but you won’t have her this night,” he said, a dangerous tone to his voice.

Thane turned his focus from Garrus, looking back at Ania. He heard the bathroom doors open and smirked. In one swift motion, he jerked her pants off; hissing when he saw she wasn’t wearing underwear. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. He couldn’t wait any longer; he had to have her. He sheathed himself inside her roughly, watching as her back bowed beneath him. She cried out loudly, the sound filling the room. He wanted to hear her scream; he was desperate to see her writhe beneath him. He thrust his hips forward so that when their flesh met, it was hard enough to bruise. He lost himself to the sensations; allowing his body to do what it had always wanted. Ania curved beneath him, her shoulders the only part of her torso still resting on the bed. The rest of her taut body arched as he lost himself to her. He felt her quivering beneath his bruising grip, and watched as she found her release; purring deeply as she screamed. It was pure music to his ears. He reached his own climax when her muscles clamped around him, milking him.

She lay there panting, Thane still sheathed within her. He gazed down at her, and any thoughts of harming her were erased as she gave him a pleased, sated smile. He was about to roll off to the side, but something at the bathroom door caught his attention. Garrus was kneeling on the floor, trying to catch his breath. Ania sat up to see what he was looking at, and she smirked as she saw Garrus. Thane thought she would have been sickened, but she looked quite the opposite. She seemed to be extremely pleased. She glanced back at him, giving him a warning look that challenged him to say anything. He kept his silence; to his surprise, he wasn’t disgusted knowing that Garrus had watched them. He wasn’t even angered, which he thought was odd. He wasn’t sure what to make of that. It was something for him to meditate on later, when he was alone.

Garrus rose to his feet unsteadily, having found his release the same time as the couple on the bed. He had originally gone into the bathroom to relieve himself, since he couldn’t walk through the ship in his aroused state. He found himself unable to finish; he tried, but the picture of Thane and Ania together made it virtually impossible.

He left the bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks at the scene before him. He saw that Ania was bowed almost off of the bed, finding her release. His body tightened, and he struggled to maintain some semblance of control. Thane climaxed powerfully and Garrus found he could no longer curb his passion. He collapsed to his knees; his breathing labored as the force of his orgasm darkened his pants.

He glanced up, seeing two pairs of eyes watching him intently. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t find words to hide his embarrassment, and he bowed his head in shame. Slowly, on shaky legs, he left Ania’s quarters. Unconcerned about anyone seeing the stain on his pants, he walked across the Mess Hall; heading to the Main Battery, where he could lock the door and deal with his humiliation alone.

It was bad enough that Ania knew he had gotten off on watching them, but the fact that Thane knew, as well, made it far more painful to him. Thane was a rival; he had proven that in her chambers when their baser instincts came to the surface. Neither man held back in their hits, or their warnings. Garrus knew he had lost the fight, but he hadn’t lost Ania.

Thane watched Garrus leave, slightly worried about the Turian. He had seen the look on his face, the shame that was evident there. Regardless of whether they were competition with each other, he never wanted to disgrace Garrus.  

~oooooooo~

Shepard walked into Kasumi’s room slowly. She had to make sure her mission was completed without a hitch. If there was one flaw, they could all have major problems. Kasumi sat on the couch, looking out at the dark depths of space. Shepard walked in, taking a seat on the couch; watching the thief and envying how relaxed she seemed. “I knew you would be here soon,” Kasumi said, turning to her with a bright smile on her face.

“So what happened at Kaidan’s?” Shepard asked softly.

“Your two beau’s covered themselves well. I found nothing that would trace Alenko’s death back to us. I also copied a few files I found lying around. I thought they would interest you. Don’t worry, Shepard, no one is going to be caught. I made sure of it,” she told Ania softly. She worried about the Commander; this couldn’t be easy for her. Kasumi could see the strain on her face.

“Thanks, Kasumi, I owe you,” Shepard replied, smiling at the younger woman.

“No, you don’t. You did so much for me when you helped me retrieve Keiji’s black box. Then you stayed with me as I dealt with it… I still owe you,” Kasumi said, smiling tenderly, sadness in her eyes as she thought of her past. “So, these are the files I copied,” she muttered, transferring the data from her omnitool to Shepard’s.

“I’ll read these later, unless it’s imperative that I read them now?” Shepard asked, quirking a brow.

“No, they can wait for a long while,” Kasumi assured her.

The duo left Kasumi’s room, heading for the Mess Hall for some food and some ‘girl time’. Shepard cringed as she thought of that phrase - ‘girl time’. It was something that she usually tried to avoid at all costs. She didn’t do the girly thing. Tali was already there, sitting alone at one of the tables. Ania and Kasumi took a seat with her; Shepard didn’t have to see her face to know she was smiling. Her body language said it all. “Got everything done without a problem. So, there shouldn’t be any more worries,” the quarian told Shepard.

“Well, that is good news,” Shepard grinned. She sat there, trying her best not to fidget; she really wasn’t in the mood for gossip. She had never been good at it. She was thankful that neither of the girls had started getting personal. Unfortunately, the peace didn’t last long.

“So…” Kasumi drawled, chuckling as Shepard visibly flinched. “What’s it like being in a relationship with two different guys?” The thief grinned from ear to ear as Shepard’s expression went from perfectly calm to that of a hunted animal.

Tali leaned closer, very interested in Shepard’s answer. She suppressed a chuckle as Shepard tried to hide her discomfort. “Complicated,” she said, giving them a short answer. There was no way she would elaborate on the details.

Kasumi waited for the right time to ask her next question. She watched as Shepard moved the food on her plate around with her fork. The thief hid her smile as Shepard brought the fork to her mouth. Kasumi knew she would pay for this later, but she wanted to see Shepard actually startled; she wanted to see the calm, cool exterior crack. “So, Shepard, what is it like sleeping with them at the same time?” she asked with an evil grin as Shepard sputtered. Her face turned red as she coughed out the food, clearing her throat.

Shepard picked up her napkin, noticing the look on Kasumi’s face. She knew without being told that she had planned the moment for that particular question. She was not impressed, and knew she was going to enjoy paying the thief back for her timing. Shepard turned a sinister smile towards Kasumi. “You do know, Goto, that payback is a bitch,” she taunted.

Kasumi stopped laughing, but her eyes lit up at the prospect of a challenge. She raised her brow, giving Shepard a slow nod of acceptance.

~oooooooo~

Thane stood in front of the Main Battery; the door glowed with a red symbol, showing that Garrus had locked it. He shook his head, using his years of experience to hack the lock. The door slid open; Garrus sat on his bed with his head in his hands. Slowly the Turian looked up at the intruder. “Thane, what do you want?” he asked quietly.

“You’ve helped me quite a few times; now I am going to help you,” Thane answered, stepping in the room and locking the door once again. He looked down at Garrus and could see the humiliation and self-hatred that were slowly taking over. Thane wasn’t about to let it continue.

~oooooooo~

Shepard was happy she was finally able to escape the girl talk, especially after choking on her food. Mordin found her, taking her to his lab. Now she was sitting on one of the beds, waiting for more test results. She was so nervous, and she wished the boys were with her. They had both disappeared somewhere, however, and she wasn’t about to ask EDI where they were.

Her breath held as Mordin turned around with a data pad in his hand. He had a grin on his face, and he all but danced toward her. Shepard couldn’t help but smile. The scientist began his long medical speech, most of which flew right over Shepard’s head. She stared at him blankly as he continued. “Mordin, please explain it so that I can understand,” Shepard begged.

“Good news! Plan was success. Fetus has genes of both drell and turian. The drell gene is dominant - surprising that. Most likely, pregnancy will be like a drell female.”

“So, what does that mean?” she asked him slowly.

“Garrus and Thane should be here to listen to this,” Mordin said nervously, his eyes flicking to the gun at her side.

“Problem, Mordin?” she asked, an evil grin curling her lips as she saw his anxiety.

“EDI, have Garrus and Thane report to the lab,” Mordin stated, backing away from Shepard. He made sure that she didn’t see his face, occupying himself with the computer on his desk. The professor read his information over again, making sure he was right. All signs showed that the drell genes were the strongest, second only to the human genes. But with the addition of the Turian DNA in the mix, they had their cure. Though the news was good, he didn’t want to be alone with her when he told her what the pregnancy would be like. He knew that humans could become very emotional, even violent, at this stage. Shepard was volatile enough when she was upset; she didn’t really need any outside help.

“Mordin…” Ania said and her voice had turned cold. She was about to threaten him, since he seemed to be ignoring her; but she stopped dead when Thane and Garrus walked in.

“What’s going on?” Garrus asked, his voice full of concern as he saw Ania sitting on a gurney.

Mordin met Thane’s eyes, flicking them toward Shepard’s sidearm. Thane got the point; he used his years of experience and quick reflexes to reach for Ania’s gun. Ania noticed this and caught his wrist before he had a chance to touch the weapon. Thane held her gaze, leaning down and giving her a deep kiss, trying to distract her. He hoped Garrus would understand his intentions and act. Thane broke off the kiss when he felt Garrus’ hand on his back. Ania’s gun was gone; they all had one less danger to face. He wondered what Mordin had to say that would make him want Ania disarmed.

“Cute, real cute, Thane,” Ania muttered, scowling at him.

“Good, safer now,” Mordin nodded his head. He turned to Ania. “Told you already your pregnancy will be more like drell females. Gestation period approximately 12 months, and some symptoms will be the same as humans. Hormonal fluctuations, mood swings, sensitive skin, rashes, headaches, muscles aches, breasts will be tender to touch. May or may not have morning sickness within the next few days. Will give you pills, very important to take. When time comes for delivery, will need to do C-Section. Because of Turian genes, human’s body won’t be able to handle birth naturally,” Mordin rhymed off to three stunned people. He added that he would send all this information to their private terminals, in case they had questions.

Mordin gave them a few moments to get adjusted to all of the information he had thrown their way. He wasn’t surprised that Thane was the first to come around. He was shocked that Garrus snapped out of his dazed expression quicker than Shepard, however. She slowly turned her gaze to him, and he saw an array of emotions pass over her face. He could see her eyes becoming glassy and passed her a tissue. He would have to talk to Thane and Garrus alone later, but he had one more important piece of information to divulge.

“Can start on Thane’s cure anytime,” he told them. He didn’t wait for an answer; he left his lab, locking the door after him so they would have privacy.

Garrus and Thane watched Ania, waiting for a reaction. They didn’t have long to wait and weren’t surprised at what came out of her mouth. Females of each species must have the same feeling about how long their pregnancies last. “Twelve fucking months! Humans are only nine…” she said, dumbfounded. Slowly she turned her gaze to Thane. He stood there silently, prepared for the murderous look that he knew was about to come. She didn’t disappoint; if looks could kill, he knew he would be dead in the most violent of ways. “I am going to make your life a living hell. Twelve months!” she nearly shouted.

“Of that we have no doubt,” Thane chuckled, pulling her into a hug. Garrus’ hand lightly ran down her back, and he smirked at his own thoughts. Not long ago, he thought his life had changed drastically; however, that was nothing compared to his current situation. He was happy, excited and scared shitless, now that he knew that he was one of the fathers.

Both men’s eyes met over her head, and a look of understanding passed between them. In Garrus’ cabin, Thane had helped him more than he could have hoped. The drell had told him a few things that he would have never guessed, considering how stoic he was. Their conversation had helped Garrus accept a part of himself that he never thought it would be possible to accept.

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Shepard stood in front of the map, plotting out the course for the Normandy’s next few missions. The next stop was Omega; they needed to do Samara’s mission. After that, it would be Miranda and Jacob’s turn. Shepard had avoided those missions for as long as possible, but knew she couldn’t do it forever. The Cerberus agents were starting to get annoyed with the delays.

Miranda’s could be ignored for now; she still had a few weeks before they would arrive on Illium. Jacob’s didn’t really matter as far as she was concerned. It was probably a fake mission, anyway. She didn’t think they would find anything in the wreckage of his father’s ship.

Samara’s mission worried her. Shepard was being pitted against an Asari killer; one who could take her mind with ease. There was too much at stake now for her to lose her mind. But the Justicar had always been there for her. She was always willing to listen when Shepard needed to talk. So no matter the consequences, she was going to help her friend. Now all she needed to do was pacify the men. That wasn’t going to be easy, especially after their talk with Mordin.

Once the course was plotted, she stepped away from the map; squeaking when she bumped into someone behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Garrus standing there, grinning. “Don’t sneak up on me like that,” Shepard groused as she glared at him. Garrus chuckled, enjoying his rare victory at being able to take her by surprise.

He had been standing there for a while watching her. It shocked him at first that she hadn’t noticed him, until he saw the set of her shoulders. She was obviously in deep concentration. “Losing your touch, Shepard?” he mocked, though he knew that was far from the truth. He simply wanted to get a rise out of her.

“Is there something you wanted or did you just come up here to be a pain?” she asked, annoyed that he had startled her.

The grin he was wearing left his face as he watched her for a moment. “Thane and I want to talk to you in private,” he told her quietly.

“If this is about Samara’s mission, you won’t be able to change my mind,” she stated adamantly. Garrus stood there with his arms crossed over chest, giving her a pointed look. Slowly her adamant look turned into a long suffering one. “Fine, I’ll head to Life Support in a few minutes,” she relented.

“Why not your cabin?” Garrus asked with a sly look in his eyes.

“Forget it. I already know what you are thinking,” she chuckled then stood on her toes, giving him a light kiss before walking by him. Garrus watched her until she disappeared from sight and then turned his attention to the nearby crew. He expected to see disgust or revulsion on their faces, but for the most part it was hidden smiles and acceptance. It was common knowledge that he, Shepard and Thane were together, and most accepted it. He thought that the ship’s crew would be against it since they were on Cerberus’ payroll, but he had seen nothing to indicate a problem.

With a final glance at the humans he headed for the elevator, making his way to Life Support.

Thane was sitting at his table, finishing a note to his son when Shepard walked in. She took a seat across from him, waiting for him to finish. Since his son found out that Thane was to be a father again, things had changed between them. Kolyat was now asking to come aboard the ship for a while, but that wasn’t a good idea; not when they were going up against the Collectors soon. He sent the message and knew there would be a response by morning.

“Where is Garrus?” he asked when she closed down his lap top.

“He’ll be here shortly,” she answered with a smirk. Thane leaned back in his chair, watching her for a moment. He wondered how they were going to have this conversation without upsetting her. Neither he nor Garrus wanted her doing this mission; it was far too dangerous. They knew it would take the both of them to discourage her and that the chance of talking her out of this was still quite slim.

Shepard glanced up when Thane’s doors opened and Garrus walked in, carrying a plate of food. He placed it on the table in front of Ania. He knew she hadn’t eaten all day; she was avoiding food more often because of her special diet. Garrus leaned up against the wall behind her, waiting for Thane to start this conversation. He knew he didn’t want to be the one to tell her she shouldn’t go on this mission. He found it easy fighting off squads of gangs, Krogans, Geth and anything else that came their way, but he still feared a pissed-off Ania.

Thane gave him a pointed look to start the conversation, but Garrus shook his head with a devious grin. The Drell threw a murderous look at him while Ania’s focus was on her plate. He didn’t want to start this either, but it appeared that he had no choice. “Ania, the both of us think you should sit this mission out and let someone else do it,” Thane stated, keeping his face blank.

“No, I am not ‘sitting it out’. Samara asked me to do it and I will,” she stated, her Commander voice in place. Thane knew then that she wasn’t going to budge. He looked over her shoulder at Garrus for help and was pleasantly surprised to see him moving forward. He had thought for sure that Garrus would leave him to handle this alone.

“And what happens if you are harmed? What happens to the babe you are carrying?” Garrus asked quietly.

“I am not going to be harmed. Nothing is going to happen to me,” she told him. Thane saw the light in her eyes and knew she had something planned. Usually bringing up the child she carried worked and would back her down from doing dangerous things. This time it didn’t work. Garrus’ brow ridge rose as he heard the confidence in her voice. He knew this side of Shepard very well; she was going to change plans to suit her needs. He wondered if they were going to find out now or if she would torture them and keep it to herself until the last possible second.

“So, what is your plan?” Garrus asked when he could no longer take the suspense. Ania turned in her chair and grinned at him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she chuckled, rising from her seat.

“Siha….” Thane muttered. He wanted to know that she would be safe now that she was doing this. He didn’t know whether to be angry or laugh that she was having fun with the whole situation. He enjoyed seeing this side of her, but not when he was worried. It wasn’t often that she was able to allow herself to become what he called ‘playful’. She had been too stressed by recent events to relax.

“Yes, Thane?” she asked with wide innocent eyes. He knew then that no matter how much he wanted to know, she wasn’t going to answer. He chuckled, shaking his head; that looked relieved some of his fears. She wouldn’t be acting this way if there was the slightest chance that she would be in danger. She would be more serious, and not as light hearted.

Garrus moved forward, pulling her toward him so her back leaned against him. He bent over her so that his mouth was near her ear. “There is no way to persuade you?” he asked. Thane noticed that his voice had deepened and he saw Ania shiver.

Thane gave a long suffering sigh. He knew his talk with Garrus was going to bite him on the ass at some point, now that the Turian knew his secret. It was something that Ania didn’t even know. He wasn’t sure how she would take it; whether she would be disgusted or not. He was shocked that Garrus hadn’t been disgusted. He had been curious and asked many awkward questions that Thane had answered honestly. Now the Turian was using his secret; he knew this when he found Garrus’ eyes not on Ania, but on him.

Thane rose to his feet, ready to leave the room and let them have their privacy. He was not going to fall into Garrus’ trap until he was ready. A part of him wondered why Garrus would be playing this game, especially with the episode that happened in Ania’s room not long ago.

Thane smiled softly as he thought of everything that had happened since that fateful night. Things had changed; he and Garrus were more comfortable around each other. It didn’t feel like a challenge anymore, which was good. For the first time since he could remember he felt free; he didn’t have to hide anything. Even that small little piece that he was hiding didn’t matter. It was so insignificant.

“No, that is not going to work,” Ania muttered, stepping out of Garrus’ grasp before he made her words a lie. She glanced at Thane and saw a small smile play across his lips. “Anyway, I have to make sure that everything is ready for tomorrow,” she told them.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Shepard walked around Afterlife’s VIP lounge, doing odd things to get Samara’s daughter, Morinth, to notice her. She had thought it would be hard to do, but it actually wasn’t. It didn’t take long before they were sitting at a secluded table, right where Shepard wanted them to be. She couldn’t have planned this better herself. She didn’t bother glancing around because she knew she would never see Thane or Garrus anywhere. She had already spotted Samara in a dark corner, watching their exchange closely.

Samara had been a hard sell; but when Shepard brought up the possibility of her unborn child being harmed, she allowed her to follow through with her plan. Shepard didn’t blame her at all, but this was the safer way. She couldn’t place her child at risk for quite a few reasons.

They talked about music; Shepard had to keep from cringing when she stated that she liked a certain band that she actually hated. Morinth’s taste in art sucked, as well. The Asari liked the harsher things in life, whereas Shepard tried to ignore those things since she lived with them every day. She wanted the pleasures of life, things that would bring her happiness. She avoided things that reminded her of death.

Then there were Morinth’s ideas on travel. At least Ania didn’t have to lie too much for that. Shepard did do a lot of travelling to dangerous places; not by choice, but because no one else could. She listened as Morinth stated that she liked going to dangerous places, and that she enjoyed the thrill of it. For one split second the evil side of Shepard popped up, whispering in her mind. _I would love to see her pitted against the Collectors; then she would know what danger is,_ she thought snidely.

Shepard could see that her plan was working and knew she was about to be invited back to Morinth’s apartment. She smiled seductively as Morinth leaned forward, preparing to speak. Shepard stayed leaning back in her seat with a fake invitation in her eyes. She kept the smile in place as the first shot sounded and struck Morinth in the head. The smile left Shepard’s face as blood and brain matter covered her. A second shot echoed when it wasn’t needed; it was a precautionary measure. This woman was known as a powerful biotic and they couldn’t take the chance that the first shot would fail to eliminate her.

Samara moved over to the table. A part of her was angry that she hadn’t been the one to finish off her daughter, but she understood why that wasn’t to be. Shepard had a child of her own to consider and she was doing what any mother would do; protecting it. For that, Shepard earned her full trust, respect and her loyalty; things she hadn’t given in a long time. Samara turned an understanding look to Shepard and placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “We should leave this place. I need time alone so I can think,” Samara told her softly.

“Sure, I understand. If you need to talk, I’ll be there,” Shepard said as she squeezed her hand lightly. “You’re not alone.”

Samara looked at her. She had promised to only follow her until this mission was done, but now she thought she may remain longer. Possibly even until the Reapers were gone. She was a Justicar first and foremost, but right now she felt like she actually belonged.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Shepard and Garrus paced her room. They had finished Samara’s mission, and now it was time for Thane’s surgery. They had just boarded the ship when Mordin waylaid her, telling her that he was ready. Thane looked shell-shocked that everything was moving so quickly. Though In truth, it hadn’t been as soon as Shepard thought it would be. It had taken weeks for Mordin to come up with the proper mixture. Shepard had to go into his lab quite often for testing and explanations that still didn’t make sense to her.

“Ania, he’s going to be fine,” Garrus muttered as she made another circuit around the room. They had found out that Thane’s lungs were deteriorating faster than was first diagnosed. So they had to take one of the implanted chips from Shepard’s own lungs and hope that it would compensate for the increased damage.

Mordin told them that Thane wouldn’t be able to leave the medical bay until they knew that the experiment had been either a success or a failure. Shepard was scared that it was going to be a failure, and she prayed to any divinity listening that she would be wrong. She didn’t know what she would do if she lost Thane now.

“You don’t know that, Garrus,” she bit out. She knew she shouldn’t be taking her frustration out on him, but she couldn’t help it. She was scared, worried and anxious and Garrus was the only one in the room, so he was getting the brunt of it.

Garrus left the bed and walked over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and trying to give her the support she needed. She looked up at him, brushing a light kiss across his mandible. “Thanks, but I need to know that he’s fine before I will calm down,” she told him quietly. She sighed in relief when she saw understanding in his eyes, instead of jealously.

“Why don’t we go down to Mordin’s and find out how things are going?” Garrus suggested, taking her hand in his. “It’s been hours. They should be finished by now.”

“Hopefully, but remember that his lungs are worse now than they use to be,” she said quietly, looking up at him, anxiety clear on her face. Garrus felt his chest contract as he witnessed her fear. He knew once they left this room, those emotions will disappear and no one would know of the suffering she was going through.

He pulled her into a tight hug. “Ania, he will be fine. I don’t think there is anything that will keep him from you,” Garrus told her. It was surprising that those words didn’t hurt him as he spoke them. He knew that she cared for them both, and that she wasn’t playing favorites. She would be just as upset if he was the one on the operating table. He had heard the talk of what happened right after she rescued him on Omega. Back then she had been devastated at the idea of losing him and there had been nothing between them.

He pulled her onto the elevator and watched as her mask slipped into place. She was no longer their soft spoken lover; now she was Commander Shepard, feared by all. She marched over to Mordin’s without talking to anyone. What she saw there stopped her dead; the blood froze in her veins, and her legs felt like they weren’t going to support her anymore. Slowly she made her way into the room…

                                                                                ~ooooooo~

Mordin didn’t know how long this was going to take. He had done everything he could; now all he could do was wait. He just hoped Garrus kept Shepard away as things hadn’t gone as planned. Thane’s body had rejected the implant, so all he had working for him now was the serum. If Mordin had known that Thane’s body would reject the implants, he wouldn’t have opened him up. He would have continued with only the IV’s and needles.

The downfall of all this was that he didn’t know if the serum would work by itself; and if it did, how long it would be before they had a definite answer. The chances were high that it wouldn’t work at all. They might very well lose him. For the past four hours it looked like he wouldn’t pull through this; that Mordin would be left with the deadly job of explaining to Shepard why his experiment failed.

He glanced over the data he had received from the latest tests done on Thane. The numbers were increasing, but too slowly. If they didn’t change drastically soon, Thane’s chances of surviving the next few weeks were extremely slim. If he hadn’t had the procedure, he would have had months; but the complications of the rejection had severely cut into his life expectancy.

He spun around quickly when he heard the doors to the lab open. The one person he didn’t want to see was standing there, looking horrified. Shepard turned her attention to him. He knew why she looked as she did. Thane lay on the table, sickly pale. His breathing was so shallow that he was barely breathing at all. Mordin had placed a tube down Thane’s throat to help him breathe and he had IV’s in each of his arms.

“Mordin, what happened?” she asked softly as she made her way to Thane’s side. Mordin moved a chair behind her and she sat down heavily. She hesitated in reaching for Thane’s hand; she was so afraid of harming him. In the end she reached out and took it firmly in hers. She lightly rested her head on his shoulder.

“His body rejected the implants,” Mordin told her.

“How long?” she asked, so softly that he barely heard her.

“Days, maybe a week. But he won’t be leaving this bed,” he answered, ready for the killing blow. He had failed her and he knew he deserved anything she did to him now.


	18. Chapter 18

Thane floated, blackness surrounding him; holding him close in its cold embrace. It wasn’t peaceful or secure, nor was it welcoming. He felt like a stranger in an unknown land. He wondered if this was how Shepard felt when she died, floating out in space.

Shepard…Siha, he never had a chance to say goodbye to her. His heart ached at the thought of her. He gave a deep sigh filled with sadness and bitterness. He continued walking slowly through the gloom, trying to find peace. He knew peace for a short time, only to have it taken from him once again. Was that to be his lot in life? Every time he was found happiness, it was to be pulled from his grasp? He knew he didn’t deserve happiness, not after everything he had done over the years. But that didn’t stop him from wishing for it after having a taste of it. Now it was too late; his life was over.

He expected to see Irikah, but there was no one waiting for him. He knew this wasn’t the sea; this was something darker. He hadn’t done enough good in his life to go to the sea; that much was now clear.

                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Shepard stared in horror, not able to say a word. She lost all thought when she saw Thane. Garrus stood behind her, holding her tightly as he thought she might pass out. She was pale; her eyes were showing more white than actual color. He could see her mind was elsewhere; not here with him or Thane. She was lost; seeing Thane like this had been too much, too shocking.

“Ania…” he called to her softly, hoping for a small answer.

He felt her muscles shift slightly, letting him know that she was still there with him. “Garrus, what should I do? He wouldn’t want to be like this. He wanted to die fighting, not in bed,” she said softly. She couldn’t believe she was looking at Thane right now. It didn’t look like him; the life was gone from him. What made _him_ wasn’t there; this was a shell of the man she knew. He wouldn’t want this. She knew he rather be dead than left in his current condition.

Shepard leaned forward, resting her head against Thane’s chest; still fighting the tears that were threatening to expose themselves. She couldn’t allow them to fall; she had to be strong for him right now. His body felt colder than normal and that worried her.

Thane walked the blackness, finally free from the cold and foreboding feeling he had known when he awoke in this place. The air around him felt more soothing than it had before. He felt warmth flowing through him from the darkness and sighed in relief that he wasn’t going to be cold forever.

Shepard held him close, even though he never knew it. She knew what she should do; what she _had_ to do. He would never want to be like this. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t….

Mordin moved closer with his scanner, taking a quick reading of Thane. His vitals were rising, but not nearly fast enough for the scientist’s comfort. He didn’t think he was going to pull through this. He could see the affect this was having on the Commander and worried about her unborn child.

“Garrus, you should take the Commander from here. This isn’t good for her or the child,” Mordin told him, hoping he would be able to make her leave.

“Mordin, I’ll tell you right now, she won’t leave,” Garrus told him, never once taking his eyes off Ania. He worried about her, but he knew this was where she wanted to be. He would never force her to leave; not unless her life depended on it.

“EDI, have Joker head to the Citadel,” Ania ordered, without raising her head from Thane’s chest. She knew Kolyat should be informed. That was going to be the hardest thing; telling Thane’s son what happened. She wouldn’t blame him if he held her responsible. She would accept his reaction without arguing since she had effectively taken his father from him. If she hadn’t pushed for this, Thane would still be here. If she had left well enough alone and accepted that he was dying instead of wanting to change it, Kolyat would still have his father. But no, she had to be controlling. She had to have things her way and now people were paying the price for her stubbornness.

She lost her lover, a young man lost his father, and her unborn child would never know his or her father; nor would the father ever meet the child. She could not have made a greater mistake.

**~ooooooooo~**

Kolyat was doing his rounds when a strange feeling came over him. Something was very wrong. He didn’t know what it was; he knew he wasn’t in danger, but there was something wrong. He kept his senses alert. Maybe he was about to walk in an ambush, but he didn’t think so. It wasn’t that type of feeling. It was the type you get when someone you care about is…

The blood drained from his face. He knew. No one had to tell him. Thane…his father was….

The thought hit him hard that he staggered. First his mother, now his father. Did that mean his little brother or sister was gone, too? He knew Shepard wouldn’t allow anything to happen to his father without a fight. She was the type that would go down fighting to the end. He felt his chest contract at the thought of losing his father and his brother or sister.

He walked into the C-Sec office; Bailey was seated behind his desk, reading reports. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing rounds?” Bailey asked without looking up. When silence met his question, he glanced up to see a troubled young man. Kolyat looked like he had just lost his whole world.

“I need to find out the whereabouts of the Normandy,” Kolyat stated in a cold voice.

“A report just crossed the desk that they will be docking here in a few days,” Bailey told him, his eyes widening as Kolyat’s blue features paled.

“When the Normandy docks, I’m taking leave for a bit,” Kolyat said softy. He was almost positive that Shepard was coming here to tell him that his father was dead.    

Bailey nodded slowly. He couldn’t say no; not after seeing that look on the boy’s face. He wondered what happened. What did the boy know that would make him pale? He watched as Kolyat left, heading toward his apartment.

                                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

The Normandy was quiet; word of Thane’s condition had spread through the ship. Everyone knew what state Shepard was in and was rightly worried. Garrus stayed by her side and the crew kept the ship running while their commander was otherwise occupied. Those who still believed in gods prayed quietly to themselves. Others did small things; making sure food was brought to Garrus and Shepard, or cleaning up the commander’s quarters and the Main Battery.

Miranda stayed out of the way, as did Jacob. They knew Shepard wouldn’t appreciate them getting involved. The Illusive Man tried contacting Shepard a few times, but EDI put him off; using a variety of creative reasons.

Shepard couldn’t stop touching Thane. She had to be touching some part of him, so she could still feel him. Exhaustion was starting to take over, but she wasn’t budging from her spot. There was no way she was going to leave his side. Garrus watched her worriedly; he was scared what would happen if Thane died. The rest of the crew shared his concern.

“Ania, you need to get a few hours of sleep at least,” Garrus murmured softly to her. His hand was resting on her shoulder, giving her what support she needed or wanted.

Slowly she turned her head to look at him. “I can’t leave him, Garrus,” she told him quietly. He could hear the desperation in her voice.

“Yes, Ania, you can. Just for a few hours. You need sleep for the babe at least. Thane wouldn’t want you to wear yourself out for him,” Garrus told her in a firm voice. He knew he had to be the one to take charge. She would never listen to reason. When she didn’t seem to be listening, he bent down and scooped her up; ignoring her protests.

People were in the Mess Hall; they didn’t bat an eye at seeing Garrus carry a very upset Shepard away from the lab. Some even smiled as they witnessed the scene. They had been worried that she would stay in there, slowly killing herself; but they now knew Garrus wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“So, what do you think will happen if Thane dies?” Kasumi asked Tali.

“She’ll mourn for a while, but Garrus will be with her. Eventually, she will recover. If it was Garrus that died, I am not sure she would recover. They have loved each other longer than either is willing to admit,” Tali said quietly. She wasn’t saying that Shepard’s relationship with Thane wasn’t strong, but it was still new. It wasn’t as solidified as what she had with Garrus; at least that is what she believed.

Garrus placed Shepard on the bed; she was already half asleep by the time they reached her room. He curled up beside her. “EDI, have Mordin inform us of the slightest change with Thane,” Garrus ordered. He wondered if she would listen or allow someone to override that order.

“I’ve informed Professor Solis. He said he will keep you updated. I also am monitoring Thane’s vitals, body temperature and brain waves and will notify you of any significant changes,” she stated before blinking out.

Garrus pulled a soundly sleeping Shepard closer to him. He rested his head lightly on top of hers and allowed himself to go into a light sleep.

                                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Kolyat lay in his bed. It was late and the Normandy would be here in the morning if it wasn’t here already. He thought about going to check, but he found he couldn’t move. He didn’t want to hear that his father was dead. Right now he was a scared child. He felt like he did when his mother died. He had wanted to run and hide; exactly what he wanted to do at this very moment.

With a sigh he left his bed; he was no longer a child, and he couldn’t stay in his room any longer. He couldn’t find sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he would remember a time when his father was around. He wanted to stay mad at his father, but he couldn’t. He finally admitted the truth; he wanted a relationship with his father. He didn’t want his father to leave him permanently.

He looked at the door once more and left. He had to know. He made his way to the docking bay where the Normandy would be when it arrived. To his relief, the ship was already docked. He stood at the doors leading inside of the Normandy and paced. He didn’t know how to get aboard or what to do. He was lost; his mind was overrun with images of his father not being there.

The doors opened in front of him. He hesitated before entering, but steeled himself and moved forward into the decontamination area.

Joker had been watching the kid; he felt sorry for him. Without thought about protocol, he ordered EDI to open the doors for him. He knew he should inform Shepard, but he wanted to give it a few moments. Let the kid adjust before he saw Shepard.

The doors opened behind him and a scared young man walked in. Joke mused at how much easier it was to read him than his father. With Thane, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling; but this guy was so easy. “If you wait a few minutes, I’ll have Shepard meet you,” Joke told him, keeping his voice neutral.

“Where is my father?” Kolyat asked right away. He didn’t want to wait; he wanted to see him now.

“Wait for Shepard, kid,” the pilot told him softly. “Shepard, you have a guest onboard,” he heard him say.

Kolyat didn’t know how long he would have to wait.

Shepard’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Joker’s voice. Slowly his words registered. “Tell whoever it is that I’ll be there shortly,” she ordered. It looked like no matter how much she wanted to mourn, she wouldn’t be allowed to.

Shepard rose from the bed, trying her best not disturb Garrus. “Shepard, come down to the lab right away,” Mordin stated brusquely over the comm. The blood froze in her veins at his words and the tone of his voice. She grabbed a tank top and shorts; slipping them on quickly, she ran from the room.

Mordin looked over his data once again and scolded himself once more for his idiocy. He should have noticed the difference in the data between when Shepard was here and when she left. It was staring him right in the face. He didn’t know why there was a difference, but there was.

His head snapped up as he heard the doors open. Shepard rushed in, panic all over her face. “What happened? What’s wrong?” she snapped out moving beside Thane.

Kolyat paced behind the pilot, waiting for Shepard to show. It had been a while now and she still hadn’t come down. “Kolyat, what are you doing here?” a voice he vaguely recognized spoke from behind him. He looked up and found himself staring at Shepard’s other mate. The turian, if he remembered correctly, was named Garrus.

“I’m waiting for Shepard. She was supposed to come here,” he muttered.

“Shepard is with your father right now,” Garrus told him. Inside he was cursing a blue streak; he didn’t want to be the one to tell him that his father was close to death. But it looked like he had no choice. Shepard was busy and there was no one else. Garrus was the other one in their relationship, so it fell to him.

“Where is my father?” Kolyat asked, his anger finally coming to him. No one would tell him anything and the one person that he needed to see wasn’t here.

“Follow me,” Garrus muttered, leading him to the Med Lab. Shepard had her head resting on Thane’s chest once more. They could hear her sniffling; her hand running lightly along Thane’s skin, tracing his features. Kolyat couldn’t take his eyes away from the scene before him. His father was pale, but there was some color to him. He needed more heat; the color of his skin showed that he was cold. He looked like he was resting peacefully, except for the tubes and other medical equipment hooked up to him.

Shepard’s head snapped toward them when she heard someone enter. “Kolyat, what are you doing here?” she asked softly.

“I knew something was wrong. What happened to him?” he asked, holding back his tears.

“We tried curing Kepral’s Syndrome and it didn’t work. He’s paying the price for my stupidity or arrogance, whichever word you wish to choose,” she told him, believing every word she spoke. She ignored Garrus’ hiss and the stunned look on Kolyat’s face. She would take whatever he wanted to do to her; she deserved no less.

“Garrus, could you leave me with Shepard?” Kolyat asked. He couldn’t believe what he heard from her. If his father had been awake, she wouldn’t have heard the end of it. So, Kolyat was going to take up his father’s torch, so to speak. There was no way he could allow her to believe her own declaration; not after everything she put herself through for them. She saved him; she allowed herself to become pregnant under unusual circumstances for his father. Then she awoke his father once more, showing him how to live; teaching him how to get through to his son. He had been shocked when his father told him that he was getting help from Shepard on how to communicate. But it had worked; Kolyat had listened.

“Shepard, if my father could have heard what you just said, he would probably challenge you to the mats,” he said and grinned, even though he didn’t feel like it.

“Kolyat, your father would never be in this position if it wasn’t for me,” she muttered.

“That’s true, but you were trying to give him a longer life. A life that I could enjoy, as well. You did everything you could. All of you knew this was experimental; my father knew this. He would never want you to blame yourself. In fact, he would be very upset if he knew you were blaming yourself,” he told her firmly, keeping his voice soft.

She didn’t say a word, but he hoped that he got through to her. She leaned her head back on his father’s chest. Kolyat moved to one of the shelves, grabbing another blanket. He placed it across his father after Shepard lifted her head. “He needs to be warmer. See those darker patches on his skin? It shows that he is cold. He won’t heal if he is cold; he might go into shock,” Kolyat explained as he pointed to some dark green discolorations on his father’s skin.

                                                                                                ~ooooooo~

The day passed slowly and there was still no difference; though Mordin told them that his vitals were doing better. He gave them a small amount of hope that Thane might pull through. Shepard didn’t hold her breath. She was preparing herself for the worst, and she didn’t think he was going to pull through.

Garrus was her constant shadow; if she wasn’t by Thane’s side, she was sleeping. If she wasn’t there, Kolyat sat with his father; never leaving his side. He was doing what Shepard wanted to do; but both Garrus and Kolyat had ganged up on her, ordering her to go to sleep.

Garrus was now in the Main Battery, doing calibrations on the guns. He needed some time alone, just for a few moments. He had to be strong for Shepard and he didn’t mind that, but he was mourning for Thane, too. He had turned into a good friend over time. He would give anything just to hear that drell taunt him once more, or to hear him challenge him to the mats.

Mordin moved over to Thane, taking readings once again. Ever since they covered him and someone was always touching him, he seemed to be improving. It was when he was left alone that he deteriorated. To get answers, he questioned Thane’s son and found out that drells needed heat to heal properly. Furthermore, they needed the feeling of someone close to them when they were seriously injured. If someone wasn’t there, their memories could overtake them; making it difficult to fight.

He moved to the tube that was going down Thane’s throat. At first it had been necessary, but now he wasn’t sure. He wanted to test and see if the device was still needed. Slowly he pulled it out, waiting for any warning beeps on the nearby monitors. When none came, it eased Mordin some; but he was still on alert.

“So, is he going to make it?” Kolyat asked him with a hopeful look.

“His brain waves are barely registering, his circulation is low. His heat beat is lower than it should be. He breathes on his own for now. We will see what the next thirty-two hours will bring. If there is no change, then we will do what must be done,” Mordin told him brusquely. Kolyat looked at him in horror; he knew what Mordin was suggesting. He had heard the scientist and Shepard talking about it. It hurt to hear, but he knew his father would want it no other way. Kolyat slowly nodded and turned his attention back to his father. Quietly he prayed to the gods he rarely paid attention to. Right now he hoped they would answer him.

Garrus leaned on his arm, watching Ania. She was finally deep asleep. It had taken awhile for her to fall asleep; but when she finally did, she crashed. Garrus didn’t know what to do. This was taking its toll on her and it was easily seen. He was scared that his life was going to be turned upside down again. He just hoped it wasn’t going to be as harsh as when she died. He couldn’t go through that again; not ever.

                                                                                                                ~oooooooo~

Kolyat fell asleep in his chair, the long nights finally catching up to him. Mordin told him to sleep in his father’s room, but he couldn’t do that. He didn’t feel comfortable enough doing that. As fatigue finally overtook him, he drifted off in a deep sleep.

Thane floated now; the blackness had slowly receded over time, but he was still trapped in this nothingness. He hated it there. He wanted to leave, to be elsewhere, but he knew that was impossible. He allowed himself to drift aimlessly; it wasn’t peaceful, but it felt familiar. For a while he had felt at ease and then the peace had vanished; replaced with a feeling he couldn’t quite understand.

He didn’t know how much time had passed - hours, days, months, even years. To him it felt like forever. Staying in this place was going to break him. He had to leave, to get away. It wasn’t like him to lie quietly, allowing all of this to occur without a fight. Memories of Ania’s voice whenever he had an episode echoed through his mind. “Fight, damn you! Don’t you dare give up!” He listened to those familiar words over and over again. He fought. He wasn’t sure what he was fighting for, but he knew he could not stop.

The darkness receded more, and he could see a distant light. He fought harder. More light….noises. He fought with all his being, with everything in him. One word on his lips -“ Ania” - his personal prayer.

Mordin snapped around when he heard Thane’s voice. He rushed over to him, running scans. Brain waves normal, heartbeat normal. Blood pressure normal. Fluid in lungs, _negative_. The doctor grinned, his eyes misting over.

“EDI, have Shepard report here now. Thane spoke,” Mordin ordered.


	19. Chapter 19

Shepard lay back in her bed, thinking of the night that changed everything. A few weeks ago, EDI had paged her, informing her that Mordin had news regarding Thane. Ania had moved quickly out of the room with Garrus right beside her. They both wore worried looks. Garrus stood by her side as they moved slowly toward Thane’s hospital bed. Garrus tensed as Mordin joined them.

When he gave them the news of Thane’s recovery, Ania’s legs collapsed beneath her. Garrus caught her, placing her softly in the chair Mordin provided. The long days and nights of worry and sorrow came crashing down upon her as she realized that Thane was going to live.

The weeks of Thane’s illness were some of the hardest she had ever known. It had taken an immense toll on her body. Mordin had ordered bed rest for at least a week and it was driving her nuts. When Thane was almost fully recovered after his near death experience and she finally had time to relax, the cramps had started. She went to Mordin, asking him about it. He warned her that too much stress could damage the fetus. She needed bed rest, regular meals and no stress or sex. The last two were impossible, or so she thought; but Miranda and Garrus stepped forward, taking over all of her responsibilities. Thane or Kolyat would sit with her for hours, both to keep her company and to make sure she didn’t break the doctor’s rules.

Now she was staring out of the window above her bed. The sight of stars moving by was actually relaxing. Her focus turned toward her door when it opened. She smirked when she saw Kolyat standing there. “Don’t tell me, feeding time again,” she said and grimaced. She wasn’t one to eat three square meals a day, and yet she was no longer given the option to skip.

“Sort of. I know Garrus and my father have been making sure you’ve been eating every meal. However, I’ve been doing some research on your race and have made a discovery of my own….” he trailed off, grinning. She sat up straighter in bed, waiting for him to continue. Something told her she was going to really like this, if the impish light in his eyes was any indication.

“Oh, what have you learnt?” she asked curiously.

He grinned and stayed standing by her desk, “I found out that human females need a lot of calcium in their diet while carrying young. So I talked to Mordin, and after getting him to repeat himself a few times so I could understand him, I found out something.” His grin turned shy as he grabbed something off of her desk. She watched as he walked over to her, holding a bowl out before him. It was too high for her to get a good look at it.

He handed her the concoction, his smile wavering as she stared silently at his gift. The bowl contained a sliced banana covered in chocolate ice cream, with whipped cream on top. It was a beautiful sight to see. A grin slowly split her face as she looked up at Kolyat. “You are a saint,” she chuckled, digging into the dessert immediately.

Kolyat brought over her office chair and took a seat next to the bed; watching as she dug into the ice cream. She reminded him of a child at the moment. Her eyes were shining with happiness, and she had a grin on her face. He could see why his father loved her and called her Siha. That was exactly what she was. He recently discovered that she was the one he had to thank for his newfound relationship with his father. She had been helping his father out, and now she had accepted him, as well.

Their friendship had grown during the time he spent at her bedside. He told her some of his past and she helped him to see it in a different light. He recalled a recent conversation, when she questioned the anger he felt at being abandoned by his father. “You saw how your father reacted when you were going to follow in his footsteps,” she began. “If he raised you, what would have happened? Don’t you think it is possible that his anger toward himself at leading you down that road would have kept you apart? Such an act would have made you feel just as abandoned, wouldn’t it?” Those questions had hit home. Now he saw his father in a different light. Not as the person who had abandoned him, but as someone who saved him from a life that would have ruined him.

“So, where are the boys?” Ania asked when she finished every last drop of the treat. He chuckled when he noticed that nothing in the bowl had been safe from her appetite.

“The ‘boys’, as you call them, are off planet. We’ve stopped at Illium to restock, and then we are heading to the Citadel to drop me off,” he told her.

“So, is that where you got the ice cream and bananas?” she asked, awed by his creativity.

He smiled and nodded. His smile grew even bigger as her eyes widened. “So, I’m keeping you company. Making sure you eat healthy while they are gone,” he chuckled.

“Damn, I’m going to miss these amazing meals when you’re off the ship,” Ania smirked as Kolyat’s frills turned a bright red. She knew she had embarrassed him. However, . owev. ….. she had to smile when she heard him trill as his father did when he was pleased. She sighed contentedly when she heard the soothing noise.

She started to get off the bed, but Kolyat stopped her. “You know you can’t leave the bed,” he reprimanded her softly.

“Well, at the moment I have no choice. I need to use the washroom,” she stated. His eyes widened as he helped her off the bed, making sure she didn’t use her stomach muscles. Thane stepped in and witnessed the awkward exchange. Ania pushed at his son’s shoulders as he helped her off the bed; trying to take most of her weight. He leaned against the fish tank, enjoying the scene. Kolyat was trying to be a gentleman and Ania was trying to get him to let her go.

“You’re not going to win, Kolyat. She can be very stubborn,” Thane commented, chuckling when they both jumped at the sound of his voice.

“I figured that one out days ago. I also learned that she has a wicked arm when she throws something,” Kolyat snickered as Ania glared up at him.

“Kolyat, if you want to live through the next few moments, let me go,” she stated coldly. Both men held back their amusement as they watched her walk to the bathroom. Her mood swings had been getting worse, but they weren’t dangerous yet. When she was safely out of sight, they both laughed softly.

“Her mood swings are worse than a female drell’s,” Kolyat commented.

“That they are. I’m not sure if it’s because she’s human, or because she is carrying a cross-species fetus,” Thane replied with a shrug.

“You know, I really don’t want to leave. I’m actually enjoying it on this ship,” Kolyat sighed, taking a seat on Ania’s bed. “I know that I have to leave. It’s not safe for me to be here, not with the mission that is coming up.” He looked at his father sadly. He finally had a relationship with his father and now it may end, sooner than he ever wished. That was what bothered him the most. Surprisingly, the other thing that bothered him was the thought of losing Ania. She wasn’t his mother, nor would she ever replace his mother, but she was always there for him.

“Kolyat, I would like for you stay on this ship, but that isn’t possible. We will be going through the Omega IV relay soon,” Thane answered.

“Though after we are finished with the mission, we can pick him up if he wishes. There are still missions to do afterward and we still have the Reapers to prepare for,” Shepard said as she exited the bathroom.

“Are you sure it will be safe for him to be onboard while we go against the Reapers?” Thane asked cautiously.

“Not for the actual fight, but he can come aboard while we prepare,” she stated with a shrug. “By then the babe will probably be born. It had better be, or you’re not living long enough to be there for the birth,” she threatened, scowling at Thane. This pregnancy could last a year if she followed the drell gestation period.

Kolyat’s eyes widened as he heard Ania threaten his father. He looked at his father incredulously; unable to believe that he was laughing. “Father, I think she is serious,” he said.

“Considering humans only carry their young for approximately forty weeks, and drells are pregnant for over fifty-two weeks, she tends to be testy about that one fact,” Thane explained to his son, amusement covering his face.

Shepard moved over to the bed, sitting down on it. She glared at the two drells. “But, Siha, there is one benefit. When our young is born, he will not need to be breastfed as a human child does,” Thane reminded her.

“And at the moment that is the only thing keeping you alive,” Shepard smirked at him.

Thane walked over to her, his eyes showing his desire for her. Kolyat backed up some, chuckling. He knew nothing was going to happen; at least not until Mordin gave the okay. When that happened, no one had better enter this room; or they would see a lot more than they bargained for when either his father or Garrus were up here.

“Alright, maybe there are a few more reasons,” she teased. Thane chuckled, taking a seat beside her. She leaned over, laying her head on his shoulder. “How much longer until Mordin says I don’t have to rest anymore?” she asked, annoyance thick in her voice.

“Well, we might have an answer,” Garrus answered her when he walked in the room. She grinned when she saw him, and her smile grew when she saw Mordin enter behind him.

“My favorite doctor,” she sassed as Mordin gave her a shocked look and then rolled his eyes.

“Still won’t change what the scanners show,” Mordin told her.

“Well, you suck,” Ania frowned at him.

He stared down at her for split second with a twinkle in his eyes. “No, I’ll leave that to Thane and Garrus,” he answered dryly, laughing as the two drells and the turian blushed. Ania’s grin turned into outright laughter.

“Wow, Mordin, you’re good. Got all three men blushing. I’m impressed,” she murmured, running her fingertip along Thane’s bright red frills.

“Need you to lie back on the bed,” Mordin told her, all mirth gone from his voice. Ania glared at him and groaned as she moved further onto the bed. Mordin ran the scan along her belly, taking several readings. He was pleasantly surprised to see that all her stats were normal. Her blood pressure and heart rate were normal, and the fetus was no longer under any stress. Everything looked good, and she appeared to be ready for light duty. That was going to be the problem - telling her that she was only cleared for light duties.

“And….?” Ania asked impatiently.

“Readings look good. Heart rate of mother and fetus normal, blood pressure of fetus and mother normal. Stress level of fetus negative. Ready to resume all normal activities, though work will still be reduced to a light load until delivery,” Mordin stated quickly.

“Mordin, everything you said up until ‘light work load’ was great. Want to try something other than ‘a light work load’?” Ania asked. Her voice was dangerously low, and her eyes were cold and threatening.

“Commander, can’t do that. If you want fetus to live, can’t overwork yourself. Body already under enough strain with a hybrid fetus. There are also possible problems with the lengthier pregnancy,” he stated brusquely.

“Fine. What does a light work load consist of?” she asked coldly, narrowing her eyes at her most hated doctor.

“Paperwork, small missions, no hand-to-hand,” Mordin shrugged.

“Okay, that I can live with,” Ania shrugged.

“Now for sexually activities….” Mordin trailed off when Kolyat spoke up.

“And that is my cue to leave,” Kolyat stated hurriedly as he rushed to the door.

Shepard chuckled as she watched him make his escape. “Smart kid,” she grumbled.

“I know what you mean,” Garrus muttered, scowling at Mordin. Thane sighed, nodding his head as he avoided the doctor’s eyes. This was one conversation he didn’t want to have.

“As I was going to say before being interrupted, you may resume regular sexual activities,” Mordin said quickly before walking to the door in a brisk manner. The three of them stared at him, dumbfounded, before both men slowly turned back to Ania.

She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to ask either of them to leave. Thane glanced at Garrus and Garrus returned the look; each man challenging the other to leave. The tension in the room skyrocketed. Ania shifted on the bed uneasily. The last time the tension had been this high with the three of them in the room, things got out of hand.

She did not need that right now. Her gaze flicked in between them uncertainly. She couldn’t bring herself to choose and it didn’t look like either of them was going to relent. Or that’s what she thought. “Who was the last to have time with her?” Thane asked calmly. They both knew he already had the answer.

Garrus and Ania watched as he bowed to them and left the room; Ania sighing quietly in relief. She was happy there hadn’t been a fight. Garrus snapped her way when the door shut, and his gaze turned predatory as he moved toward the bed. Ania grinned, stripping off her shirt before it got shredded by his claws.

Thane waited for the elevator, trying to ignore what was about to happen in the room behind him. He wasn’t sure what was taking the elevator so long, but he couldn’t get away soon enough; especially when he heard Ania’s lusty moan. It was driving him insane.

The doors opened and he rushed inside, hitting the panel to the Mess Hall harder than he intended. He should have used the duct work - it would have been quicker.

He didn’t bother grabbing himself something to eat. Instead he rushed into his room, taking a seat in his chair; hoping to meditate for hours. But that was short lived when he saw Kolyat playing cards on the table, looking bored. “Did the doctor finally leave?” Kolyat asked. Thane watched as he gathered up his cards and prepared to leave.

“If you are going to see Ania, I would wait until tomorrow,” Thane warned him.

Kolyat’s attention snapped to his father. He mouthed a silent “oh” as he took a seat once again. He could see the strain his father was going through at the moment. He was glad that his father was cured or he knew he would have already had an attack. “Dad, can I ask a personal question?”

Thane gave his son a searching look. He had a blush on his frill, but gave nothing else away. Thane gave a slow nod of his head. Kolyat took a deep, steadying breath before he began. He had spoken with Tali about this once, and with Mordin several times. Yet it was still hard to mention to his father. “If you both love her, why don’t you share her?” he asked quickly.

“We do,” Thane answered, leaning back in his chair; waiting for whatever else his son had to ask.

“Not exactly what I meant,” Kolyat stated with a pointed look. Thane’s eyes widened as he realized the meaning behind his son’s words.

“Kolyat, it’s not the same. You know as well as I do that drells are territorial. What do you think I would do up there with them?” he asked bluntly. His son fidgeted nervously, and Thane thought that would be the last of it.

“Considering what you’re picturing right now, I don’t see the difference,” Kolyat stated just as bluntly, meeting his father’s gaze. “The two of you want to share her, yet you can’t share a bed with her at the same time. Instead you torture yourself until it’s your turn.”

Thane opened his mouth to refute Kolyat’s claim, but found he couldn’t argue the point. He hadn’t lied to Kolyat. There was a time when he and Garrus would have killed each other in a battle over Ania. But if he was to be honest, he wasn’t sure about that anymore. Not since the conversation he and Garrus had shared not long ago. He knew now wasn’t the time, however. It had been a while since either one of them had been with her because of the doctor’s orders.

Yet even if that did happen, how would they do it? The last time she had been taken anally, she had bled. That wouldn’t be something she would want to repeat. He knew there were other things that could be done, and he knew it would eventually come to that.

Kolyat watched his father as he sat at the table, deep in thought. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Garrus owed him big time. It had been Garrus who set all this up; even after Kolyat’s sputtering, he had talked him into this. All he wanted to do is curl up in the corner and forget he ever had this talk with his father. But he had to admit that Garrus had brought up a few good points and the new development would be easier on Ania in the long run. Her happiness is what convinced him to speak up.

He walked over to the datapad that Garrus had given him. Unfortunately the turian hadn’t warned him about what was on the datapad when he delivered it. Kolyat originally thought it was for him, but realized his mistake quickly as he read the note from Mordin. It described very explicitly how they could all be involved without any harm coming to Ania. For a while Kolyat thought they were trying to fry his brain.

He tossed the datapad onto the table, shocking his father out of his thoughts. Thane stared at him irritably as he picked up the datapad and held it in his hand. “You know, father, there are times when I think humans are lucky not to have eidetic memories. When I read that, I wished I was human so I could forget it just as quickly,” Kolyat told him with a shudder.

Thane smirked. He didn’t know what was on the datapad; but from the look on his son’s face, it was something horrible. Bracing himself, Thane turned his attention to the datapad. His frills turned bright red as he read through the material. It described in detail some interactions between Garrus and Ania, and himself and Ania. Mordin used those interactions to describe how the three of them could be together without harm.

He now understood what his son meant. He felt pity for Kolyat for having to read it, but he kept his mouth shut. Anything he said right now would only make this worse for him. “So, as you read, it is possible for the two of you to be with Ania,” Kolyat stated quietly.

“I need to meditate on this,” Thane said quietly.

“I think you’ve done enough meditating for years to come. Why don’t you just jump at the chance?” he asked. Thane narrowed his eyes, but he had no answer for his son.

Thane rose to his feet. “I’ll be back in a while,” he told Kolyat as he walked toward the door.

“I highly doubt it,” Kolyat laughed as the door closed behind his father. Then he groaned, pressing his head against the cold metal table; praying that he could forget the information that was floating through his head.     

                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Garrus kneeled on the bed. Ania was naked, splayed out on the bed; watching him with heated eyes. “Garrus, what are you waiting for?” Ania asked breathlessly as his claws trailed a line of fire down her leg.

“You’ll see,” Garrus answered her with a grin. He purred as she moaned when he teased her. He hoped Kolyat was able to talk some sense into his father. He had tried on a few occasions, but failed miserably. So he recruited the only other person he was likely to listen to, other than Ania.

“Garrus, quit fucking teasing me!” Ania growled. Her anger quickly turned into a desperate cry as Garrus grazed her sensitive flesh with his claw. Her eyes were squeezed shut from the torture, and her breath came forth in desperate gasps. She knew she would pounce on Garrus and have her way with him if he didn’t stop this teasing soon. The worst part was that he still had most of his clothes on, and she was spread out for him, completely naked. Every time she went to strip him, he would stop her; forcing her to lay back while promising something amazing with his gaze.

Her eyes snapped open when she heard the doors to her cabin open. “About time you showed up,” Garrus chuckled. Ania’s gaze shifted to the person at the door. Thane stood there, looking uncertain as he watched the two on the bed. He wasn’t sure if this was the right thing to do, but the vision of Ania splayed out on the bed as she was had him straining against his pants in seconds.

Ania stared at Garrus in shock. She couldn’t believe that _he_ had arranged this. She watched Thane as he stood there, and she didn’t blame him for his indecision. There was no way she was going to invite either of them closer; they would have to come to terms with this on their own.

Garrus grinned as he saw Thane’s uncertainty. It was the same uncertainty he once had, but he had slowly accepted this course of action. He knew this was inevitable, especially with two males sharing the same female.

Thane moved further into the room, wondering if he was about to make a big mistake. He could see the wariness in Ania’s eyes, but knew that was because she feared a fight between her two lovers. He reached out slowly, running a hand along her cheek; trying to sooth the tension from her. She leaned into his touch. Garrus knelt behind her, the tips of his claws running across her skin.

Thane ran his hand along her cheek, slowly making his way down her neck and chest; bypassing the two mounds that were begging for attention. His hand met Garrus’ on her lower stomach, where a small bulge was starting to form. Their eyes met over her shoulder, and a look of understanding passed between them. The child growing within her made them a family, whether they wanted it not. They had to accept it and move on. There would be no more fighting for her affections, and no more hiding.

Ania watched Thane carefully as she leaned back against Garrus, allowing them both to touch her stomach. The closed off expression he wore when he first entered the room evaporated when he met Garrus’ eyes. She felt Garrus relax more as the two men reached a silent understanding.

She smiled softly as she heard the two of them begin to purr. Garrus’ was more a rumbling purr, while Thane sounded like an oversized cat. Their combined vocals were extremely soothing for her.

“Are you sure you wish to be with the both of us?” Thane asked. No matter what he felt, he had to make sure Ania would accept this. He glanced at Garrus when he heard him chuckle.

“She’s been hinting at it enough, and I will not get into what else she’s been hinting at,” Garrus muttered, scowling at Ania. For a moment, Thane wondered what conversation he had missed. From the look in her eyes, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

Ania rose up on her knees, kissing him with all the passion she had been holding back for weeks. Thane lost himself in that kiss. Nothing else mattered at the moment - not Garrus’ hands as they travelled along Ania’s belly, brushing against his own; or the feel of his coat as she stripped it from him. Nothing mattered but the taste of her.

He nipped at her bottom lip, drawing it out; bringing a lusty moan from her throat. They broke away from each other, panting heavily. His gaze travelled from her lips, that were red and swollen, to her shoulder; where Garrus was lightly licking the mark he had made. He noticed that he and Garrus were both dressed in their pants, while Ania was kneeling naked between them.

He knew in that moment that this was the way it was always meant to be.

Garrus gasped as Ania arched her back, her head leaning against his shoulder as she nipped the sensitive skin on his neck. He groaned as her teeth latched onto him. His eyes fluttered closed as he watched Ania arch her back, her breast disappearing between Thane’s lips. That imaged burned within him, making his plates shift and causing him to throb with need.

Garrus’ eyes snapped open when he felt Ania being lifted and heard her sharp cry. His eyes widened when he found Thane’s face buried between her legs. He shuddered as Ania’s nails bit deep into the skin beneath his fringe, almost bringing him to the point of no return.

Garrus undid his pants, needing some relief from the pressure that was beginning to build in them. Seeing his discomfort, Ania arched her back further, using her hands to walk herself down the front of his body. He growled low in his throat when she slipped his pants down further and took him into her mouth. He heard humans were flexible, but nothing could have prepared him for the current vision of his lover. Her body was completely bowed off of the bed. Thane was still buried between her raised legs and the top of her head was brushing the covers beneath him.

Thane watched her every movement, purring softly against her sensitive flesh as she moaned and cried out around Garrus’ shaft. His leather pants were becoming too uncomfortable, and he knew that he would have to let her down just to find some relief. Garrus must have recognized his discomfort and moved his arms along Ania’s waist. He held her up while Thane stripped off his pants, his mouth never leaving her sweet sex.

Ania body was quivering on the brink of release. She knew her orgasm would be beyond intense. Her fantasy was coming true and it was better than she could ever have imagined. From the rippling of his muscles, she could tell Garrus was coming close to finding his release. She cried out in frustration when Thane’s mouth left her, and he chuckled darkly, sending a shiver of anticipation down her spine.

She felt Garrus lift her up so she was back on her knees, and her vision swam for a moment before righting itself. Her body throbbed painfully at being left unfulfilled. Thane took a seat on the bed with a small bottle in his hands. She watched him with heated eyes as he poured some of the liquid into his palm and slowly stroked himself.

“Lay down, Siha,” Thane ordered. She did as he commanded, moaning desperately as she felt his fingers toy with her sensitive nub. He brought her to the brink once more, then slipped his fused fingers into her rear opening. She gasped loudly, arching her back in pleasure.

Garrus watched the exchange, a questioning look in his eyes. Thane saw his confusion and quietly explained his actions “I’m preparing her so she isn’t harmed,” he answered calmly.

Thane turned Ania so that she was lying back against his chest as he stimulated her. He could feel that she was on the brink of finding her release, and he slipped another finger inside of her, working her until she was sobbing with desire. Slowly his fingers left her body as he lined himself up with her opening. He remained unmoving, waiting patiently for her to relax above him. With one smooth stroke, he sheathed himself deep within her; holding himself absolutely still. He wanted to give her a chance to become used to the intrusion before he proceeded any further.

He nodded to Garrus, motioning for him to come closer. Slowly, and very gently, Garrus lay between Ania’s legs, sliding himself into her while watching her eyes for any sign of discomfort. She smiled sweetly at him, kissing him softly in an effort to ease his fears. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes tightly as she reveled in the feel of both of her lovers inside of her. Both men moaned low as she clamped tightly around them, bucking her hips wildly as she found her release. Neither could hold back anymore, and they began moving; the motion slow and steady at first to avoid harming the woman they both loved. They weren’t in sync with one another, but it wasn’t needed. After weeks of abstinence, they each needed desperately to feel the relief that only she could give them.

Ania could feel orgasm after orgasm ripping through her body. Cries, moans and growls filled the room as the three of them moved together as one. She never thought she would find this amount of pleasure ever, but she had been wrong. This was more than she ever expected, and the pleasure she felt made her sob for more. She reached out with both of her arms, holding them close to her as they found their release. This moment was far more than any lust. It was an acceptance of feelings that would never again be denied.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Ania glanced at the picture on her desk with a smirk. It was of Thane, Garrus, Kolyat and her. Kolyat had the exact same one and another of him and his father. It had been two weeks since they dropped him off, and she was going to miss him.

During the day, he stayed in her office with her while she did paper work. If he wasn’t with her, he was with Garrus or his father. Garrus and Thane were now living up in her room. It thrilled her, but it also made things very interesting. The first night, none of them slept well as they weren’t used to sleeping together. It took a few days, and now they had no problems. It was just her frequent runs to the bathroom that troubled people’s sleep, but both men were learning to ignore that. She just wished she could.

She was five months pregnant now and her stomach was showing. At first she thought both Garrus and Thane would be disgusted, but that was very far from the truth. Every night they had to touch her stomach before everyone fell asleep. The past few days they’d been reading up on human pregnancies, and they found it very interesting. Once they found out that a child could hear things in the womb, they were always talking so it would know their voices.

Anticipation was running high on the ship, as they were preparing for the mission to retrieve the IFF. Her pregnancy was forcing Ania to move up her mission plans. She was almost too big to move with the grace that she was used to and it could affect her fighting. As it was, it was affecting her running. She couldn’t move as fast and that worried her. It also worried Thane and Garrus.

“Shepard, we are coming up to the derelict Collectors’ ship,” Joker stated, breaking through her thoughts. Fear, anticipation and worry washed through her in moments.

She grabbed her armor. “EDI, have Garrus, Thane and Grunt meet me in the airlock,” she ordered.

“Grunt and Garrus are meeting you in the airlock. Thane is currently headed to your room,” EDI told her, and she swore she could detect a hint of amusement in the AI’s voice.

Ania rolled her eyes and struggled to put on the bottom half of her armor. She had just finishing clasping it into place when Thane walked in. He went to her first before grabbing his leathers, helping her with the rest of her armor. “Are you sure you want to do this mission, Siha? You could have someone else take your spot,” he asked worriedly.

“Both you and Garrus told me that the last several missions were more of a struggle because I wasn’t with you. No one was working as a team because I wasn’t there,” she reminded him with a pointed look.

“You’re right, the team needs you during these missions,” Thane sighed. He would have preferred for her to remain onboard where she would be safe.

When all her armor was on and he clasped the last latch in place, he quickly donned his leathers. As he dressed, she grabbed her guns and waited for him at the elevator.

Garrus and Grunt were already waiting at the airlock. “Who’s leading this time?” Grunt asked belligerently as he scowled at Garrus.

“I am. Problem, Grunt?” Ania asked as she made her way past him. She watched a grin split Grunt’s face as he saw her walking toward them in full armor.

Grunt now knew this mission was going to be fine. He didn’t mind Garrus, but he wasn’t his Battlemaster. Shepard was and she’d proved it time and again. He watched her walk their way. She may be with young, but she still walked like a leader. He couldn’t keep the proud grin on off his face. He may be of the Urdnot tribe, and Wrex may be the leader of his clan, but Shepard was his true leader.

“No, no problem,” he answered, resting a hand on her shoulder since he was no longer allowed to slap her there. He glanced at the two men that stood there, making sure they weren’t going to attack him for touching her. She chuckled, hitting him in the chest; knocking him back a step.

“Let’s head out,” she ordered. She was about to step into the airlock when she heard voices calling from behind her.

“We’re going, too,” Zaeed said as he and Jack stepped up, looking at her expectantly. They were ready to leave - guns on their back, extra ammo on their hips.

“I already have my team for this mission,” she told them, confused as to why they would be doing this when they knew her battle plans.

“Yes you do, and you’re also knocked up. If we go, you don’t have to work as hard,” Jack told her with a shrug.

Ania held up here hand. “Enough, let’s go,” she ordered, motioning everyone into the airlock ahead of her. When they were all inside, she rolled her eyes. She hoped this didn’t become the norm; where people would volunteer to go on missions to protect her because she was pregnant.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

“This place is too quiet,” Garrus muttered.

“You read my mind. Something is not adding up here,” she told them thoughtfully.

“What are you thinking, Siha?” Thane asked quietly.

“That we are walking into a trap,” she told them. It was too quiet for how large this ship was. They hadn’t found enough bodies to make up an entire crew.

“Another one? Isn’t that what happened on the other derelict ship?” Jack asked snidely. “See, told you. You can’t trust fucking Cerberus.”

“You don’t say,” Ania sneered. “And yes, you are right; that is exactly what happened in the ship he sent us to,” Shepard muttered as she scanned another computer. Garrus moved to another terminal, taking the information from it. Zaeed and Jack kept watch at the door. The first time they accompanied her on a mission, they had both been annoyed that she would stop to examine every terminal; but now they kept their mouths shut. She’d proven that it was very valuable to do so.

They made their way through another room without enemies. This was starting to worry Ania; they should have come against some type of enemy by now. She moved slowly, keeping watch for movement. Zaeed, Garrus and Grunt had taken lead, Thane watched her back, and Jack kept her eye on everything that surrounded them. When they were in the center of the room she stopped, her senses on high alert. She knew she was being watched. She could feel it like a chill up her spine.

“Siha?” Thane questioned, searching the area with his gun ready. Shepard took out her heavy cannon, pointing it toward the ducts above them. She knew someone was there, watching them. She moved forward slowly, searching for the cause of her discomfort.

“Ania, what is it?” Garrus asked urgently.

“Someone has a scope on me,” she told them, still searching for the person. She didn’t need to see that everyone was on alert; she heard their guns charging.

“Shepard, we have husks incoming,” Jack told her as her biotics flared to life.

Ania pivoted on her feet, turning toward the husk - one bullet, one kill; but there were too many. Three swarmed her, and she had no choice but to use her martial arts; knocking them back. She growled low in her throat, grabbing one of them and ripping out its throat. She prepared to kill the remaining two, now that she had more room; but a hole appeared in one’s head, and the final one dropped right behind it. She glanced around, seeing that Grunt and Thane had dropped them.

“He told me that you’re not allowed to fight because it would injure the young one,” Grunt told her quickly as he backed up a few steps. He didn’t like the look in her eyes. The last time he saw that look she had taken on three varren with her fists, a gleeful smile on her face. It wasn’t fighting those varren that shocked him; it was the way in which she killed them. With her bare hands, she ripped out their throats; coating herself in their blood. It was a memorable moment that he enjoyed; seeing his Battlemaster in action. But that look was turned his way now and he didn’t like it.

Ania swallowed her anger, taking a deep breath. “Thanks, guys,” she muttered, trying to sound sincere. She heard them let out a collective sigh of relief.

“Is the scope still on you?” Thane asked. When he first met her, it had unnerved him that she could spot a person hiding so easily. Even on the ship while he was practicing his stealth, she knew where he was. Now when she said someone had a scope on her, he knew it was the truth. She was never wrong. Her senses were finely honed.

“No, not anymore,” she murmured thoughtfully. Slowly she moved forward, hesitating when they entered a large open area. She noticed Grunt and Zaeed already starting down the ramp in front of them.

“Zaeed, Grunt, fall back to my position,” she ordered briskly. They didn’t hesitate and quickly made their way to her. Nor did they argue that they had to wait patiently as she scanned the room. “Garrus, Thane, take positions here. Jack, you have the ramp with me. Grunt, Zaeed, I want you in the open with Thane and Garrus covering the both of you. Jack and I will take any stragglers. Grunt, I want you to flush as many as you can from the right. Zaeed, you have the left. Make sure you don’t get overwhelmed. Pull back if there are too many,” she ordered and moved to the ramp.

The first husk moved toward her out of hiding. She was about to take the shot, but knew it was too close. Two shots rang out and they weren’t from her people. She spotted the sniper as the two husks that were nearest her dropped at her feet. “Are my eyes playing tricks on me or was that a geth that took out those husks?” she asked in confusion.

“That’s what I saw too, Siha,” Thane murmured.

“Tali will never believe this,” Garrus chuckled.

“Forget about Tali. I barely believe it myself,” she laughed softly. She took a deep breath, centering herself once again. They had a mission to do and couldn’t be sidetracked. “Take your places,” she ordered.

As soon as Zaeed and Grunt moved to the lower area, they were swarmed with husks. The area filled with gunfire, along with blue flashes from Jack’s biotics. Ania smiled in relief when the last one fell. She was so glad that Zaeed and Jack had decided to come along. They had proven invaluable to this mission.

“Damn, never went against that many husks at once,” Zaeed grumbled.

“That was just the beginning of this,” Ania muttered. “There will be more - a lot more.”

“Now we’re talking,” Zaeed smirked, hefting his gun. Grunt followed suit, a grin splitting his face. Jack followed closely behind them while Garrus and Thane remained beside Ania.

“Just because we’re leaving the three of you some privacy, doesn’t mean you can find a nice cozy corner for a quick roll,” Jack called out, laughing.

“They are enjoying this way too much,” Ania chuckled as they met up with more husks. She stayed near Garrus and Thane while the other three had a field day killing them off. Her breath caught as Jack was surrounded. No one could shoot, as they didn’t have a clean line of sight on her. Shepard moved quickly, ready to protect Jack; but stopped dead as the husks around Jack went flying. She raised a brow at the biotic, impressed by the show; it wasn’t often that she was able to see Jack’s full biotic potential.

Jack grinned and moved quickly to catch up with Grunt and Zaeed. Ania, Garrus and Thane picked up the pace, moving quickly to their destination. “They are enjoying this way too much,” Ania muttered with a grin.

“Do you blame them?” Garrus asked.

“No, I can’t say I can,” she chuckled. She slowed when they moved further into the room. Her eyes widened when she saw the spikes displayed in the far corner; she knew what they were for. She had seen them used before.

“What the hell are those?” Jack asked, nodding toward the spikes.

“A human’s worst nightmare; the husks are made from those. We saw them at work on Eden Prime,” Ania muttered. She glared lethally at the spikes as memories came back to her.

“I remember you telling me about those,” Garrus murmured, moving up beside her. Thane stayed on the other side of her, a hand on her shoulder.

Shepard closed her eyes for a second. Her eyes snapped open and her body tensed, going on alert. Thane automatically pulled his gun, as did the others. They searched the area, trying to spot what had put Shepard on edge.

“Where is it?” Grunt asked, searching the area.

“Above us,” Ania stated, pulling her gun and firing at a nearby vent.

Everyone’s attention swung that way, and every gun trained where she fired. “Shepard - Commander, friend not foe,” they heard before silence once again descended on the party.

“That was the geth, wasn’t it?” Garrus muttered, a scowl marring his face.

“It was and it spoke. It knew me,” Ania stated, a curious expression on his face.

“Siha, that expression does not bode well. We are not going to chase after it,” Thane stated sternly.

Ania raised a brow. “Really,” she drawled. Garrus glanced between the two of them and snickered in amusement. He was glad it was Thane getting that tone of voice instead of him; he had heard it enough on the first Normandy.

“Siha, if we chase after it, you’ll be placing a strain on your body and Mordin may have to confine you to bed again,” Thane reminded her.

Garrus shook his head. _Wrong move, Thane,_ he thought irritably. He knew the chances were high that he would have to step in.

“I’d like to see Mordin try it,” she sneered, glaring at Thane.

Thane was quite amused by her reaction, though he didn’t allow it to show. Her temper had been easier to enflame recently. What should normally upset him actually amused him. He knew that she was pissed at him right now, but he was looking out for the unborn child. As far as he was concerned, he was going to make sure she kept that child safe.

“He would, with help,” Thane warned her with a pointed look. He almost took a step back when her eyes flashed. He now knew he had stepped over the line, and he was about to apologize; but Garrus cut in.

“You know, if the two of you keep standing here testing each other’s will, that geth is going to be gone; and we are going to be swarmed by husks and who knows what else. Plus, we will never reach the IFF. So if this argument can’t wait for the Normandy, the two of you can have it right now. We’ll finish the mission while the two of you bicker,” Garrus snapped, pissed at them both. Thane was pushing her buttons and Ania was still trying to do what she shouldn’t.

They both looked at Garrus in shock. It wasn’t often that he stepped in; but when he did, he made his point. “Grunt, Zaeed, you take lead. Jack, you’re backing them up. I’m taking rear. We’ll collect these two on our way out.” Garrus ordered. No one argued with him, but they did glance at Shepard for a moment before Garrus let out a warning growl. Jack snickered, leading Zaeed away with her. Grunt glared at Garrus, and move toward him angrily.

Ania was pissed that they would do this to her. She stepped up to Garrus, hitting him hard in the chest and making him stumble back a few steps. “Remember who the commander is on these missions!” she warned coldly. She noticed the spark of approval in his eyes. She turned to Grunt and hit him on the head, none too gently. “You don’t attack your crew mates,” she reminded him coldly.

“Yes, Battlemaster,” he said and bowed his head to her, backing off with one more warning look at Garrus.

She turned slowly to Thane. “Be thankful that your culture doesn’t do discipline like this or you would be on the ground unconscious. When this kid is finally born, I’ll be seeing you on the mats,” she smirked, and it was cold and menacing. All three of them watched as she turned on her heels and walked away toward a laughing Zaeed and Jack.

Jack and Zaeed watched her walk past them and met the three sullen aliens moving toward them. “You just had to piss off a pregnant female, and none other than Shepard; who has the worst temper I’ve met in a while,” Zaeed grumbled. “Neither of you is sharing my room if you can’t get into yours,” he stated as he walked away, chuckling.

“You do realize that the three of you just made this mission a lot harder,” Jack muttered. She remembered the last mission she had been on with Shepard when she had been pissed. She kept them there until every inch of space was cleared, even though they had the information they needed. Then she made them all do cleaning duty back on the ship. Those who told her they weren’t going to do it met her on the mats and spent a few days in Doctor Chakwas’ office. She so didn’t want to go through that again.

Garrus was about to argue, but stopped dead when they heard gunfire not too far away. With quick worried glances, they ran for the area. They found Ania being overrun by husks and scions. Grunt barreled his way to his Battlemaster, knocking everything out of his path. Thane and Garrus started sniping, and Zaeed and Jack joined the fighting. It didn’t take long for the group to remove the enemies in their way.

Jack and Zaeed waited for the explosion to begin. They didn’t want to be on this ship for days and if Garrus and Thane were to open their mouths, they knew it would be hours before they could continue on with the mission. That was one of the reasons to interfere; the other was that they didn’t want or need to hear the bitching contest that would no doubt follow their comments.

Jack moved over to Thane while Zaeed moved to the other side of Garrus. They waited for the reprimand that they knew was going to come. Garrus opened his mouth first and Zaeed hit him hard in the side with a warning look. Jack moved up behind Thane. “Don’t say a fucking word,” she hissed angrily.

Ania didn’t bother waiting for the reprimand that she knew would be coming. She was tired and sore. The fetus wouldn’t quit moving and it hurt. It felt like something was stabbing her at times. She was not happy.

She scowled as she came up to a locked door. She wasn’t in the mood for this, and she was glad when Garrus moved quickly to open the door. Her eyes widened as she saw the geth from earlier standing at a control panel. She shook her head when the geth wasn’t fast enough and was attacked. She felt remorse that they weren’t quick enough with their aid, but they had bigger problems to worry about before they could concentrate on him.

The husks that attacked the geth turned their attention toward her crew when they entered. She moved quickly to the control panel the geth had been working on. Thane was right behind her, covering her as she worked. “Shit, it’s damaged,” she growled.

She looked up and her eyes widened, “Well shit, looks like that is the energy source,” Ania muttered, glaring at the metal shield that covered the ship’s energy core. She glanced at her crew. At the moment they had a small break, but she knew that once she started shutting down the power supply all hell was going to break loose.

Her eyes narrowed when movement past Zaeed’s shoulder caught her attention. Without warning she raised her gun and fired, catching the husk between the eyes. “Hey, fucking warning would have been nice,” Zaeed muttered. She smirked; looks like the fighting was starting earlier than she thought.

“All of you have the room. I’ll handle the power supply,” she told them. She glanced over her shoulder to find Garrus standing behind her, covering her back. Thane wasn’t far away, either; she should have known they wouldn’t leave her.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

She sighed in relief when the power supply was disabled. She glanced around quickly. The room was clear; the only thing left was the geth near her feet. “Grunt, grab him!” she ordered, watching the krogan throw the machine over his shoulder. She nodded. “Let’s get the fuck off this place,” she ordered.

They moved quickly toward the Normandy rendezvous point, having to stop a few times for enemies. Zaeed, Jack and Garrus had lead, and Grunt was right behind them, using his free hand to fire.

“You know, Shepard, Tali is going freak when she sees him,” Garrus grumbled.

“I don’t even know if I am activating this thing yet. But I want the intel it has,” she muttered, scowling at Garrus.

“Siha, do you think it would be wise to try and take the intel from it? We don’t know if it’s a trap left here in hopes we would do that just that,” Thane told her quietly.

Ania stopped for a moment, her eyes widening. “Shit, you might be right,” she grumbled. She heard her crew let out a relieved breath. Another sigh of relief came when they were at the Normandy’s doors.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Shepard lay back in her bed as Mordin ordered. She was supposed to rest for a bit to settle the child, in hopes that it would quit poking her. Her gaze drifted to the door when it opened, and she smiled as Thane and Garrus walked in.

“What did Mordin say?” Garrus asked, taking a seat on the bed as Thane stretched out on her other side. She sighed when she felt his cool arm press up against her overheated skin. _The joys of pregnancy,_ she thought snidely.

“He said that the infant is growing faster than he anticipated. I won’t be pregnant for a year,” she answered with a grin, and then turned her attention over her shoulder to Thane. “It looks like you’ll see the child born,” she grinned impishly at him.

“I never doubted it for a moment, Siha,” he murmured against her skin, sending shivers through her body.

“What else did he say?” Garrus prodded before things got too carried away. He knew what Thane wanted and he was all for it, but he wanted information first; at least at the moment.

“Not much else. The child has drell and human features, and the growth rate comes from having turian genes in his DNA,” she answered and wondered if they noticed what she said.

She moaned softly as Thane’s hand slipped around the front of her, lightly playing with her breasts. He knew enough to be careful of them now, since they were very sensitive and tender most of the time. Garrus quickly divested her of her shirt.

Ania was in heaven, she couldn’t think of anything better than this at the moment. She had the two men she loved, and was carrying their child. What more could she ask for?

                                                                                                ~ooooooooo~

Ania stood in the debriefing room with the rest of the team. Thane and Garrus were near her, giving support to whatever choice she made. They had discussed the geth situation late into the night. Garrus was worried about Tali’s reaction and she didn’t blame him; but she had already talked to Tali and worked things out. It had taken a bit, but in the end Tali supported whatever she had planned; whether it would be activating the geth or airlocking it.

Jacob wanted it airlocked, and Miranda wanted it for Cerberus; though that was not going to happen. She would airlock the geth long before Cerberus got their claws into it.

The others didn’t care one way or the other what happened to it, which was a relief to her. She planned on activating it and finding out everything it knew.

She watched as everyone filed out all except Garrus and Thane. “You’re going to activate it, aren’t you?” Garrus asked with a knowing smile.

“Yep, I want find out what it knows. If it poses a danger then it goes out the airlock,” she stated.

“When do you plan on doing this, Siha?” Thane asked, clasping his hands behind his back. He and Garrus had already stated that they would be there when she activated it. There was no way she would be alone with it until they knew if it was friend or foe.

“In a few minutes. I’m giving EDI time to set up firewalls for protection, in case it tries to hack her,” she answered, leading the way out of the conference room.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooooo~

Talking to the geth had been informative. They now had a name for it – Legion. The name was EDI’s idea, and it suited him. They now knew there were two different factions within the geth - those that wanted peace and those who worshipped the Reapers. The latter faction was the one Shepard and her teams had been fighting since Eden Prime.

Now she had a chance to have the Reaper-worshipping geth change sides. She didn’t think it would be easy, but she was going to help Legion with his mission. Now she just needed to figure out who would be going, but that could wait for a few days. They wouldn’t be at the Heretic Station for another five days. She was definitely taking Tali, Thane and Garrus. The last two she had no choice about; they would come even if she told them to stay on board.

She glanced up at Mordin as he moved around his room, inputting the readings he had just taken into his computer. “What did you find?” she asked.

“Approximately four months, infant due, maybe more. Infant not developing as fast as first thought; developing as fast as a human infant would. When the time for delivery comes, need to do Caesarean section. Human body not able to birth the infant naturally. Would create major damage,” he told her.

“When will I know that it is time?” she asked. This was a first for her. She had never seen her friends when they delivered so she didn’t know the signs. All she knew was that it was painful and that they bitched and complained about it afterwards.

“Read over this information, will tell you everything need to know,” Mordin stated with a smirk. “Already sent information packets to Garrus and Thane. Do’s and don’ts for intercourse. Long list now,” he chuckled.

“I take it I have the same packet in here?” she asked with a raised brow.

Mordin smirked, motioning for her to leave. She narrowed her eyes, wanting an answer; but it didn’t seem like Mordin would be giving it to her.

She left with a scowl and met the ‘boys’ in the Mess Hall. They were already eating and her plate was waiting for her. “So is there anything I should know about in the information packets that Mordin sent you?” she asked with annoyance.

Thane and Garrus raised a brow ridge, wondering what set her off this time. “You won’t like it,” Garrus warned her, sending her the packet. She read it over quickly as she ate. Thane sat back in his chair and watched the multitude of expressions crossing her face.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” she nearly yelled, catching the attention of nearby occupants’ all of whom quickly averted their eyes when they met her anger filled ones.

“No, Siha, he was very adamant that we no longer have you at the same time. You are too far along in your pregnancy for it to be safe,” Thane told her calmly, waiting for the next explosion. He was pleasantly surprised when it didn’t come. Now he wondered how she would take the rest of the news. Mordin had told them that when she reached her eighth month, that there would be no more intercourse. It would be too much of a strain on her body being with them, since he and Garrus weren’t the same as humans. It seemed that they were more substantial in that area and more vigorous. He knew that would piss her off, and he wouldn’t want to be the doctor when she found that out. As if Mordin understood his position, he sent material for ideas on how to compensate for that dilemma.

“Are we going to the Heretic Station?” Garrus asked, changing the subject.

“Yes. Once we are finished there, I am hoping EDI will have finished her study of the IFF and figured out if it can be integrated into the Normandy’s systems without a problem. If it can be, then we are going through the Omega IV relay and taking out the Collectors,” she answered him.

Garrus sat there quietly, worrying about Shepard. They were coming to their final mission and he hoped she would be capable of completing it. If her stomach stayed the same size, then there shouldn’t be that many problems; but if she grew more, it would affect her greatly.


	21. Chapter 21

Shepard slumped against the wall, tears burning her eyes. She was lost; her mind was closing down. Everyone was gone. The Collectors boarded the ship while they were gone, and her crew couldn’t stand against the onslaught. Joker was the only living being left onboard, and he owed his life to EDI. She was so sorry that he was forced to face the nightmare alone. She wouldn’t have thought twice about facing the Collectors, but she was trained for situations like that. His job wasn’t to engage the enemy; it was to pilot the ship that had saved their lives so often.

Thane sat on the couch, watching her worriedly. He tried to help once, but she shrugged him off. Thankfully he backed away, allowing her time to mourn. Garrus left the room, so he hadn’t seen her break down. She was glad for that. He wouldn’t have allowed it and they would have ended up fighting. Garrus was just as thick headed as she was; and at times like this, that similarity in their personalities was a disadvantage.

She and Thane didn’t butt heads nearly as often, but he still didn’t allow her to lose her temper. He would smirk and give her a pointed look that told her she was being a fool. She wasn’t sure which was worse – Garrus’ vocal objections or Thane’s amused expressions. Both were a slap to the ego, but it kept her in check. It showed her when she wasn’t acting normally due to the pregnancy.

Her mind kept returning to Joker’s assertion that everything was her fault. In a way he was right, but no one could have guessed that this would happen. Even he knew that. After his initial burst of anger, he’d apologized and they’d been able to talk. Things weren’t alright, but at least he was talking to her now. His accusation had affected her more than she would care to admit.

She glanced up when she felt Thane’s cool, scaled hand on her cheek. “Siha, we need you here. I know you mourn for them, but there is still a chance that they are alive,” he said softly.

She didn’t answer; the lump in her throat prohibited speech. Thane nodded in understanding. “Joker, could you bring us through the Omega IV relay?” Thane asked, using the com.

“Shepard?” Joker asked, and she could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Do it, Joker. This is a rescue mission now. We’re saving everyone,” Tania stated, her voice growing stronger with each word.

Thane watched the fire return to her eyes as she spoke and grinned. “You got it, Shepard,” Joker stated, and they both heard the relief and certainty in the pilot’s voice. They knew that was what he had been waiting for.

                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

The three of them lay curled together, both her aliens purring as they held her. In four hours they would be going through the relay. Worry ate at her; she hoped that the upgrades would be enough to keep them all safe.

She slowly drifted off. The respite from her worries was desperately needed. She was safe with Garrus and Thane surrounding her. For these few precious moments, she could let go of her worries; or at least attempt to. They would keep her safe.

Garrus watched her as she drifted to sleep. He noticed that Thane was still wide awake. “Do you think there is any chance we could do this mission without her?” Garrus asked quietly, trying not to wake her.

“No, there is no chance. We need her now more than ever. Unless you think you can take her place and give the crew the hope they need,” Thane commented.

“No. No one could fill her shoes. I tried once and failed miserably. There is something about her that makes people want to follow her; to prove themselves to the best of their abilities. I could never figure out what made her so different than other humans,” Garrus murmured lightly, brushing a stray hair from her face.

“Yes, you’re right. It’s one of the reasons I call her Siha,” Thane smiled lightly as he watched her. She slept peacefully. It was something she needed to do for the upcoming mission.

“Do you think we will make it back?” Garrus asked, showing his deep concern for the first time.

“If anyone can pull us through, it will be her. If she has any say, there will be no casualties,” Thane murmured.

                                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Shepard and her team rushed through the Collectors’ base. This mission was more difficult than she anticipated, but she couldn’t let that get her down. She had to focus on the mission, hide her worries and keep a stoic face. She needed to be in control for her people. At the moment the infant that she carried meant little. She couldn’t think of the baby until they were safely on their way home. _And we will return from this hell,_ she promised herself silently.

She glanced at Thane to make sure he was doing fine. Samara was beside her, using her biotics. They were working like a team; more than they ever had before. The individual team members had merged into one cohesive unit; she wasn’t alone. Garrus had taken control of the other ground team and kept in constant contact with her over the com.

So far she had done everything she wanted to do. The team had saved the crew and Grunt was put in charge of leading them back to the Normandy. No one argued with her. Even Miranda kept silent, following her every order. As far as she was concerned, this was the final stretch. They were almost home free. She needed to plant the bomb in the center of the base and then get the fuck out of Dodge. Once she dealt with the last of the Collectors, they would be able to focus their attention on the Reaper threat.

“What the fuck is that?” Shepard gasped. For the first time since the beginning of the mission, she let her uncertainty show. Rising far above the ground, in the heart of the Collector base, was a thing of nightmares. A Reaper – at least a partially constructed one. And its form was all too familiar.

“I think this is why the Collectors needed humans. They were making a Reaper,” Thane murmured, moving next to Ania to stare at the skeletal machine.

“Well, they failed,” Ania stated coldly, aiming her weapon at the monstrosity and firing.

“I think they succeeded, Ania,” Thane grumbled.

“Not for long,” Ania grinned. She shot at the canisters that held it in place while Thane and Samara destroyed the Collectors who came to its defense. Disgust filled her as she looked at the humanoid machine. Thousands of innocents died to make it…it had to be destroyed. Nothing could keep them from stopping it.

The battle was long and very hard. Ania took out a few Collectors as she waited for the defensive shields surrounding the canisters to reopen. “Siha!” Thane yelled, pointing toward the Reaper. The last canister was open, and she immediately took aim. Several well-placed shots later, the monster fell to its death.

“We need to set the charge and leave,” Thane said, leading Ania to the floor panel that housed the base’s main power conduit. As she attached the bomb, she couldn’t help but smile. She couldn’t wait to get off this ship and watch it blow up from a nice, safe distance.

“Shepard, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you,” Samara stated. Thane approached and activated his omnitool. In seconds, the Cerberus leader’s holoimage floated in the air before her.

“What do you want?” she growled. She always hated talking to him; and at the moment, his timing couldn’t be worse.

“Shepard, there is no need to destroy the base. If you set an electrical charge it will destroy the Collectors, but still leave the base,” the Illusive Man stated.

“Fuck you and the horse you road in on. There is no fucking way in hell I’m leaving this base intact!” Ania hissed hatefully.

“Think of the advantage this could give humanity in its battle against the Reapers. Think of all we can learn from it,” he reasoned.

“What you really mean is ‘think of what Cerberus can learn from it’, right?” she scoffed. “You must be crazy if you think I would let you get your hands on this technology. I’m destroying the base. You can either try and stop me or follow me. But be warned - cross me and I’ll eradicate Cerberus!”

She nodded to Thane, and he cut the channel. “Siha, are you sure that was a wise move?” he asked with a smirk. She could see the approval in his eyes, but she understood why he would ask.

“It was the only move that I could live with. On the old Normandy I saw some of the things Cerberus did with the technology at their disposal, and it was….” she shook her head sadly, unable to come up with the proper word to describe what she had seen. “There wasn’t a choice. Blowing this place is the only answer.”

Thane smiled reassuringly at her and then helped set the nuke. “That should be enough time to get out of here if we move quickly,” Ania nodded as she pressed the button to start the countdown.

They were turning to leave when Ania stopped; her eyes widening in alarm as she heard a rumbling sound from far below them. Thane looked over at her. “It can’t be! Didn’t we just destroy it?” Thane murmured, looking at her questioningly.

She didn’t need to answer. No sooner had the question left his lips than the humanoid Reaper rose from the depths. “Shit!” Ania snarled. There were no canisters for her to shoot, and she wasn’t sure what to fire at. “Shepard, the chest!” Samara yelled, using her biotics against the monstrosity.

Thane stood by Ania, covering her when needed as she fought to take down the Collectors’ creation. Waves of Collectors swarmed to their location. Thane glanced at the timer worriedly. His first thought was to call Garrus and have him collect her, so she and the child would have a chance to survive. They would be able to cover her until she left, but he knew Garrus would never make it in time. They would all end up dying and that was the last thing he wanted.

The only thing he could do was pray and believe that his gods would answer and keep Ania safe. He glanced at her as she continued to shoot at the Reaper’s glowing chest. There were no Collectors around at the moment and he could concentrate his efforts on aiding her. He knew he couldn’t glance down at her protruding stomach or he would start worrying about the child and make mistakes.

Ania gasped as the machine wavered, and its energy seemed to flicker. She knew it was dying and now they could escape. She hoped that there was enough time to make it to the Normandy. Thane helped steady her as the room started collapsing around them. Ania gasped as the platform they were standing on began to tilt dangerously on its side. She felt Thane torn from her and she heard Samara gasp; followed quickly by a loud bang.

She raced for the side of the platform. Thane had tumbled over the edge and was barely hanging on. “Siha, no. Leave me. You must save yourself and the child,” Thane pleaded.

She ignored the pleading in his eyes. She bit her lip, trying to hide the pain she felt from laying on her stomach. It was the only way to reach him. She held his wrist in a death grip. There was no way in hell she was letting go. “You go, we both go,” she snarled, giving him a challenging look; daring him to test her resolve. She ignored the sigh Thane gave and the relief that filled his eyes. He hadn’t wanted to die and she knew it. However, he would gladly have given up his life for hers. She understood that now, but didn’t like it. Though she couldn’t say much - she would do the same for him and Garrus.

She bit off a groan as Thane’s weight put more pressure on her stomach. It felt like someone was jabbing white hot knives into her stomach. The pain was intense as she slowly pulled him back onto the platform.

“Siha, are you alright?” Thane asked urgently. He could see the pain in her eyes.

“Fine,” she bit out, not meeting his eyes. Gently she rubbed her stomach, trying to ease the tenderness there. Thane moved quickly to Samara, lifting the fallen debris from her body.

“Shepard, I don’t think she…” he trailed off as Samara’s eyes flicked open.

The asari raised a brow. “You weren’t going to suggest that I was dead, were you?” she asked with a relieved smile.

Thane stared at her in shock and chuckled. “We need to get out of here,” Samara stated as she looked at the time remaining on the bomb.

Ania quickly glanced at them and ran for the door. Pain ate at her, but she tried to ignore it. She knew it was slowing her down; especially when she felt Thane’s hand on her arm, tugging her with him. She nearly collapsed, but Thane’s firm hand stopped her from falling.

Samara cleared the path ahead of them. “Ania, you need to run, for the baby and Garrus,” Thane whispered urgently. That was the only incentive she needed. She ignored the pain and bit her lip, drawing blood. She found strength and energy from somewhere deep inside and ran for all she was worth. Her stomach was in knots and agony raged through her body.

The base collapsed around them and the team was forced to jump in order to reach the Normandy. Relief rushed through her as she saw Samara and Thane land safely onto the ship. Both Thane and Garrus were now at the doorway, waiting for her. She had to make it; there was no way she could fail. She knew it would kill them both if she failed.

The edge crumbled before she reached it, and Garrus and Thane gasped in alarm. They glanced at each other. Thane had run ahead so he could catch her when she jumped onboard. Now he knew he should have let her go first. He knew she didn’t have the strength to reach the ship. She could have barely breached the gap before the destruction of the walkway. Thane felt his heart leap in his throat as she jumped. Instantly, he felt the Normandy move and noticed it was closer to the commander.

 _Thank the spirits for Joker,_ Garrus thought as he shoved Thane out further to reach her. He felt Thane stiffen and hoped the drell would trust him. Relief swept through him as Thane leaned out as far as Garrus could safely reach. Garrus felt someone grab ahold of his armor. He glanced back to see Grunt holding him so he didn’t fall out of the ship. Garrus leaned further out, giving Thane an even longer reach.

Everyone held their breath as Shepard jumped. Thane jerked forward, just catching her hand in the nick of time. “He has her, Grunt,” Garrus murmured. He grinned as he felt the krogan pull him back. He looked back at Grunt and saw his smile. He heard Thane’s chuckle as they pulled him back up with Ania in his arms.

Their smiles quickly vanished as Shepard gave a muffled moan. Garrus was pretty sure that sound would have been scream if she let it loose. He was about to reach for her, but the Normandy jerked forward, speeding away from the bomb.

“Ania, what is it?” Garrus asked urgently. Grunt had already left to get Mordin.

“I don’t have a fucking clue; but if this is the labor that Mordin has been telling me about, there is no fucking away I am getting pregnant again. And the next man who gets me pregnant will be eating his balls,” Ania spat angrily.

“Commander correct, labor starting. Contractions two minutes apart. Water about to break. Partially dilated. Need to do emergency caesarian section before infant can travel down birth cannel and do more damage,” Mordin stated, nodding to Garrus and Thane. He heard Ania’s complaints as she was carried by her mates and smirked. This was too serious to mess with – the child was very premature. Being a hybrid didn’t help. They didn’t know what to expect or how developed the child actually was. There was a chance the child wouldn’t make it. There was a chance the child was already gone. He wasn’t going to inform the parents of that until he knew for certain. Parents were too dangerous to test.


	22. Chapter 22

Spirits should have been high onboard the Normandy, but the noises coming from the Med Bay had everyone on edge. Garrus paced furiously around the room, while Thane was silently seated at a table; staring at the Med Bay door. Worry and fear ate at them as the rest of the crew watched on worriedly. What was supposed to be a simple procedure had turned into hours of uncertainty. The Normandy was now well on the other side of the Omega IV relay, and the Collectors were destroyed.

“How much longer is this going to take?” Garrus growled irately.

“As long as it takes,” Miranda muttered, not meeting the angry turian’s eyes. Thane spoke not a word as he continued his prayers. He had intended to stay in Life Support, but he couldn’t leave Garrus and the turian wouldn’t leave the Mess Hall.

“That’s not an answer,” Garrus hissed, stalking toward the human.

“Garrus, she was shot and injured. They can’t rush this even though it’s a C-section. She needs to be stabilized first,” Miranda bit out.

Garrus was going to say more, but Tali stepped forward, resting a hand on his arm. Garrus looked down at her, then sighed and moved away; closer to Thane. He glanced at Thane and saw the turmoil in the drell’s eyes. They both worried about Ania, but Garrus was the more vocal of the pair.

Without thinking of the others watching he sat beside Thane, resting a hand on his shoulder. One of his claws idly trailed across his scales, trying to sooth him. He smirked at himself. Months ago soothing Thane would never have crossed his mind. Even touching him this intimately would have disgusted him. Now, after sharing a bed with him and Ania, it didn’t bother him. They had touched each other more intimately than this, but they never crossed the line of family.

“Do you think…?” He couldn’t finish the question; just the thought of losing Ania was like losing his own life.

Thane raised haunted eyes to Garrus. He couldn’t answer the question. At the moment he was preparing himself for the worst. First he’d lost his wife, and now his reason for living was slipping away from him. He loved his wife very much, but it couldn’t compare to the feelings he had for Ania. She was his soul; that was the closest word he could use to explain his feelings.

“She has to be,” Thane muttered; but his words sounded hollow, even to him.

“You’ve had a kid. Is this the way it usually is?” Garrus asked irritably.

“No. Siha sustained damage and her body had a hard time carrying the hybrid. Mordin warned us that there would be complications. The damage she sustained on the Collectors’ base was possibly too much for her,” Thane murmured sadly. He could feel the tears burning his eyes, but didn’t let them fall before everyone in the Mess Hall.

“Shepard’s a tough bitch. She’ll make it through this, then give the two of you shit for worrying so much,” Jack grinned. She raised a brow when she saw the two men scowling at her. She shook her head at the two of them in annoyance.

“She’s right. Shepard’s a fighter. She’ll make it through this,” Jacob smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

Garrus tried to give a reassuring smile, but couldn’t. He was too scared. Shepard was his best friend and his mate. He couldn’t lose her again. He knew this time he wouldn’t survive. He wouldn’t want to.

                                                                                                                ~ooooooooooo~

Mordin and Chakwas surrounded Shepard. They had placed her under sedation for the duration of the procedure. Delivering the child was harder than they thought it would be. The infant had caused some damage coming out, even though they removed it through a caesarian section. Doctor Chakwas worked on her injuries, while Mordin concentrated on delivering the child.

“Infant more developed than first thought. Would have come soon, anyway,” Mordin stated, his eyes widening as he gazed down at the infant in his arms. It hadn’t cried out as a human babe would have. Instead it growled, followed quickly by a purr. He moved the child onto Shepard’s chest so she would be the baby’s first image.

“I think it’s time to wake her,” Chakwas murmured as she smiled down at the child. It was covered in cream-colored drell scales. The facial features were human, except the eyes. Those were inherited from Thane, as well. Garrus’ genes were also evident in the child. It sported a turian fringe, with soft claws on each of its five fingers.

“Hearing acute as a drell and sense of smell acute as a drell. Sight acute as a turian. Sense of touch acute as a human,” Mordin rhymed off, admiration showing in his voice. “Won’t know about strength and speed until infant is mobile, but scans show that infant has heavier mass density than a human.”

“Is there any human in the child, other than its features?” Chakwas asked curiously.

“Many things. Digestion is both drell and human, and lungs are a mixture of all three races. Will be able to adapt to many different situations. Must keep this information confidential. Wouldn’t want Cerberus or anyone else finding out the details. Too dangerous for child and parents.

“Information has been encrypted and firewalled. No one has access to it without your permission, Professor,” EDI announced.

Chakwas grinned when she heard the announcement. She was about to thank EDI when a loud purring sound stopped her. She slowly turned to find Shepard rubbing the baby’s back as she held him close. Mother and son were staring at each other; a look of contentment on both of their faces.

“We should get the fathers in here,” Chakwas murmured. She needn’t have bothered. Mordin was already headed for the door.

                                                                                ~oooooooooooo~

Thane and Garrus sat next to each other; both close to exhaustion. No one had left the Mess Hall, even though the procedure had taken the better part of a day. All of Ania’s ground team stayed, waiting word of her condition.

Everyone stood as the Med Bay doors opened and Mordin walked out. Silence descended as they waited for the doctor to talk. Thane and Garrus stood nervously as Mordin made his way toward them. Garrus swallowed thickly. He was expecting the worst. He felt Thane’s nails digging into his arm and knew that the drell shared his fear.

“Mother and child fine. You may go in and see them. Shepard is not to leave the bed at all,” Mordin ordered. He was forced to raise his voice when a cheer rose from the Mess Hall.

Garrus and Thane slowly made their way to the Med Bay door in a complete daze. People clapped them on the back or shoulder, but they were too stunned to notice. Nor did they notice the crews’ high spirits. They both hesitated at the doors, not actually believing the doctor. They were afraid to step through the doors and see Shepard close to dying; even though Mordin told them she was fine.

The doors opened and they both stepped through at the same time. They stopped at the sight that met them. Ania lay on the bed, a peaceful smile on her face. Her attention was solely on the child in her arms.

Ania glanced up when she felt eyes on her. “Come here and see him,” she murmured, holding out her hand to them. She grinned as they rushed to her side. Two of the most feared men onboard now stood beside her bed in awe. She grinned as she heard new sounds from them. Garrus was making a clicking sound with his mandibles and Thane was rumbling. It was close to a purr, but deeper.

She looked at each of them. “Do you want to hold him?” she asked with a grin. She watched as they looked at each other uncertainly. Garrus moved first, taking the infant awkwardly from her arms.

His eyes widened as the child yawned. “Ania, I don’t think you’ll want to breastfeed him,” he muttered when he saw the pointed teeth that so closely resembled his own. He knew they were soft, but dangerous. When he saw her questioning look, he turned so she could see the baby’s smile.

“Yeah, good idea,” she chuckled as Garrus passed Thane the infant. She was pleasantly surprised to hear Thane making cooing sounds. It was like a song, and shocking to hear from him.

“We need to come up with a name for him. We can’t continue calling him infant,” Ania smirked.

“I’m in agreement with the name you chose, if Thane is,” Garrus murmured, turning his attention to Thane.

“Jarrid is a good, strong name for him,” Thane agreed.

“So how would we do the last name?” she asked. They’d never come to an agreement on that. The subject had led to several arguments and two very pissed off males.

“We’ve come to an agreement on that. It should be Jarrid Vakarian Krios Shepard,” Garrus said. “The shortened form would be Jarrid Shepard.”

“Name noted. All acceptable information has been sent to the Council. Jarrid has been registered with all races pertaining to his heritage,” EDI informed them. They had to chuckle. What would have taken weeks to do on their own, EDI had accomplished within a matter of minutes.

“Thank you, EDI. You’ve saved me a lot of time,” Shepard chuckled.

“You’re welcome, Commander. Gardener has prepared food for you and the child. Professor Solis’ scans show that he should able to eat very soft food. Jarrid’s sleeping place has been placed in your room and is ready for him. Kelly has asked me to inform you that she can babysit when you need it; as have many other crew members,” EDI informed her. Anyone listening could hear the smile in her voice.

“Thank you, EDI. You did good,” Shepard reassured her.

“It looks like the crew is happy that an infant is onboard,” Thane murmured as he watched Ania with Jarrid.

“So it would seem,” Ania murmured. They glanced up as the doors opened. Mordin walked in with food in his hand.

“Shepard needs to eat, as does the infant,” Mordin told them as he passed Shepard her plate of food. “The two of you should leave so you can rest.”

Garrus’ eyes narrowed, as did Thane’s. Mordin stepped back, smirking. He knew they wouldn’t take his suggestion. They were both territorial, and would never agree to leave their mate and child. “Sleep on beds here until Shepard and Jarrid are ready to leave,” Mordin muttered.

Both men’s stances relaxed as Mordin’s words registered to them. They let out the breath they had been holding. Neither was willing to part from the mother and child in the nearby bed. Garrus had been ready to make that very clear, and he was relieved that his argument wasn’t necessary.

Thane moved to one of the beds and stretched out on it. It was odd falling asleep without someone else in the bed with him. For months now it had been Ania, Garrus and him. He tried to relax enough to fall asleep, but it was impossible. He glanced at Garrus and saw that he was wide awake, watching both him and Ania.

Garrus couldn’t relax enough to go to sleep and he could see that Thane was having the same problem. Ania was exhausted enough to sleep, as was the babe. Garrus moved from the bed and headed over to Thane. “Move over,” he mumbled as he crawled in beside Thane. They drifted off to sleep while watching Ania.

                ~00000000~

Ania lay in her bed, resting. Jarrid hadn’t learnt the need for sleep yet. It seemed that he had more of Garrus in him than they originally thought. Turians didn’t need much sleep and her son had decided to adopt that particular feature from his turian father. Humans, on the other hand, love and need their sleep. So Garrus got night duty, since he needed less sleep than the rest of them and he could sleep during the day.

Thane took over the other duty she hated with a passion, which thrilled her. He would change their son when he made a mess. She didn’t know kids could do half the stuff he did. When she found out what caused that awful odor, she intended to cut it out of his diet permanently.

Her body was still recovering, so that meant intimacies were out for a while. Not that she actually wanted anything of that nature at the moment. She was still worried that she could become pregnant again. That was the last thing she wanted. One kid was more than enough for now. She had important things to do; the destruction of the Reapers being the first on her list.

She peeked through heavy lids at the crib where Jarrid lay. She smiled softly, seeing her son sleep peacefully. When she held him for the first time, she made a promise that she would see the Reapers ended so her son could have a life.

She couldn’t keep her eyes open for very long before sleep claimed her again. She was happy that she had a short while to rest and recuperate. She knew she would need it in the months to come.

                                                                                ~oooooooooo~

Thane and Garrus stood by the airlock, waiting for the new arrival. “He’s late,” Thane muttered.

“Give him a break. He’ll be here soon,” Garrus smirked at the irritated father. Thane glared at Garrus before losing the battle and cracking his own smile.

“How long do you think Siha will be sleeping?” Thane asked softly.

“I don’t know. She doesn’t even know we stopped at the Citadel. She’ll be surprised,” Garrus murmured. His attention swung to the airlock as it opened. Kolyat stepped onboard, carrying his possessions and an unmarked box. “What’s in the box?” Garrus asked curiously.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” Kolyat grinned, walking toward the elevator; his father and Garrus following behind him. He didn’t ask permission to go to their room. He knew there was a good chance that Ania was still testy from the delivery, but he had something that would brighten her day. He also had something for his new brother. He’d purchased a stuffed bear and several sets of new clothes.

He smirked as he saw Ania sleeping and Jarrid wide awake. The baby wasn’t crying, but lying contentedly in his crib. He watched as his father moved to Jarrid, picking him up carefully. “You might want to leave. We will be waking Ania up and sometimes that’s not the healthiest thing,” Garrus chuckled.

“I’ll wake her,” Kolyat grinned, moving over to the bed. He took out the bowl from the insulated box and waited. It didn’t take long before her eyes fluttered open. He grinned as he saw her scenting the air. Humans may not have the strongest sense of smell, but he noticed that they could sniff out chocolate anywhere it was hidden.

“Kolyat?” Ania questioned. She seemed surprised to see him. “When did you get here?”

“Just a few moments ago,” he answered, passing her the bowl and a spoon.

“Another of your famous dinners,” she grinned, sitting up in the bed. Ania moved the bowl off to the side and hugged the young drell. “I owe you big for this.”

“Nah. Having me on this ship is thanks enough,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. He loved his mother and still missed her, but Ania was becoming a second mother to him. He hadn’t realized it until they dropped him off. There had been a few times he needed to talk to someone and he had wished Ania was there. It shocked him that he would miss the commander, but he had. These people were his family now - Ania, Garrus, Jarrid and his father.

“Have you met your brother yet?” Ania asked as Thane moved up beside them with the bundle in his arms.

“No, not yet,” Kolyat murmured as he took Jarrid from his father. It was awkward holding him. He wasn’t used to holding a baby. Kolyat smiled as he saw the scales. His eyes widened as he noticed the sharp teeth and talons. Jarrid looked mostly like a drell, but there were a few differences. The nose and ear canals were the most obvious. He also weighed a fair amount for his size.

Ania smiled softly as she watched the two of them. Garrus and Thane stood behind Kolyat with their hands on his shoulder. Ania moved closer so she was in the group, even though she couldn’t leave the bed. She rested her head on Kolyat’s shoulder; looking down at Jarrid, who was purring contentedly.

Home - that was what this was. She had finally found her family. The Normandy was her home and her family was here with her. Kolyat may not have come from her, but she still considered him to be her son.

She was lost in her musings when Garrus interrupted. “Ania, you have a message,” he murmured softly.

Ania pulled up the message. Only a picture showed on the screen. No words. But there was no need for words. She knew who had done it. EDI had taken a picture of this moment, when her family was surrounding her. It was one she would always cherish. One that gave her the determination to stop the Reapers.


End file.
